So frustrated with my brain

[Guest guest]

Gosh, I'm at my witts end. Many of you know that I have my own

business and I love what I do and I think it has kept me positive as

I battle my MS. I don't want to give up, especially as I have a

great customer base and won so many awards. I'm very proud of

myself. Yet, what do I do when my brain doesn't work right anymore?

Today I found nearly $1000 that is owed to me in some form/fashion

when I began to pack my office (we are moving soon). Not only did I

find checks that I did not cash, but orders that I have not collected

on...one was even $199. My husband is in total denial about how bad

my organization skills and concentration skills have become. I'm a

person that spend years in bookkeeping and accounting and I haven't

balanced my checkbook in two years.

Everyday I wake up and think I will make this day different and start

new but within five minutes I'm totally off task and wondering around

in a daze. It used to be once or twice a day I would find myself in

a room thinking " what did I come in here for? " but it's now about 20-

30 times a day and not just in my house but at Home Depot, any store,

my friends house, my car...I just can't seem to stay focus.

I don't want to go on disability...I'm not ready to give in just

yet. But it sure would be nice if Social Security had some type of

program to pay for an assistant. I guess that is wishful thinking.

I really think I am going to drown myself in a bottle of wine

tonight. I'm so depressed about all the mistakes I found today.

Mindy