A wise woman's answer to Welcome To Holland

December 29, 2001

I found this here: http://autism.mybravenet.com/

WELCOME TO BEIRUT by F. Rzucidlo

(Beginner's Guide to Autism)

" I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with autism-to

try and help people who have not shared in that unique experience to understand

it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this.. "

There you are, happy in your life, one or two little ones at your feet. Life is

complete and good. One of the children is a little different than the other but

of course, he's like your in-laws, and you did marry into the family. It can't

be all that bad. One day someone comes up from behind you and throws a black bag

over your head. They start kicking you in the stomach and trying to tear your

heart out. You are terrified, kicking and screaming you struggle to get away but

there are too many of them, they overpower you and stuff you into a trunk of a

car. Bruised and dazed, you don't know where you are. What's going to happen to

you? Will you live through this? This is the day you get the diagnosis. " YOUR

CHILD HAS AUTISM " !

There you are in Beirut, dropped in the middle of a war. You don't know the

language and you don't know what is going on. Bombs are dropping " Life long

diagnosis " and " Neurologically impaired " . Bullets whiz by " refrigerator mother "

" A good smack is all HE needs to straighten up " . Your adrenaline races as the

clock ticks away your child's chances for " recovery " . You sure as heck didn't

sign up for this and want out NOW! God has over estimated your abilities.

Unfortunately, there is no one to send your resignation to. You've done

everything right in your life, well you tried, well, you weren't caught too

often. Hey! you've never even heard of autism before. You look around and

everything looks the same, but different. Your family is the same, your child is

the same, but now he has a label and you have a case worker assigned to your

family. She'll call you soon. You feel like a lab rat dropped into a maze.

Just as you start to get the first one figured out ( early intervention) they

drop you into a larger more complex one (school). Never to be out done, there is

always the medical intervention maze. That one is almost never completed.

There is always some new " miracle " drug out there. It helps some kids, will it

help yours? You will find some if the greatest folks in the world are doing the

same maze you are, maybe on another level but a special-ed maze just the same.

Tapping into those folks is a great life line to help you get through the day.

This really sucks but hey, there are still good times to be had. WARNING! You do

develop and odd sense of humor. Every so often you get hit by a bullet or bomb

not enough to kill you, only enough to leave a gaping wound. Your child

regresses for no apparent reason, and it feels like a kick in the stomach. Some

bully makes fun of your kid and your heart aches. You're excluded from

activities and functions because of your child and you cry. Your other children

are embarrassed to be around your disabled child and you sigh. You're insurance

company refuses to provide therapies for " chronic, life long conditions " and

your blood pressure goes up. Your arm aches from holding onto the phone with yet

another bureaucrat or doctor or therapist who holds the power to improve or

destroy the quality of your child's life with the stroke of a pen. You're

exhausted because your child doesn't sleep.

And yet, hope springs eternal.

Yes there is hope. There ARE new medications. There IS research going on. There

are interventions that help. Thank God for all those who fought so hard before

you came along. Your child will make progress. When he speaks for the first

time, maybe not until he is 8 yrs old, your heart will soar. You will know that

you have experienced a miracle and you will rejoice. The smallest improvement

will look like a huge leap to you. You will marvel at typical development and

realize how amazing it is. You will know sorrow like few others and yet you will

know joy above joy. You will meet dirty faced angels on playgrounds who are kind

to your child without being told to be. There will be a few nurses and doctors

who treat your child with respect and who will show you concern and love like

few others. Knowing eyes will meet yours in restaurants and malls, they'll

understand, they are living through similar times. For those people you will be

forever grateful. Don't get me wrong. This is war and its awful. There are no

discharges and when you are gone someone else will have to fight in your place.

But, there are lulls in wars, times when the bullets aren't flying and bombs

aren't dropping. Flowers are seen and picked. Life long friendships are forged.

You share and odd kinship with people from all walks of life. Good times are

had, and because we know how bad the bad times are, the good times are even

better. Life is good but your life in never normal again, but hey, what fun is

normal.

December 30, 2001

In a message dated 12/30/2001 9:00:53 PM Eastern Standard Time,

tloggie@... writes:

> /

>

> WELCOME TO BEIRUT

December 30, 2001

In a message dated 12/30/2001 9:00:53 PM Eastern Standard Time,

tloggie@... writes:

> WELCOME TO BEIRUT

whoops sorry about that last blank one. What I wanted to say was I think

it's more like one of those states where there are lots of twisters. That's

how my life feels like. Lots of spinning and spinning and every once in

awhile I get smacked in the head with a 2 by 4.

December 30, 2001

That was absolutely wonderful!

Thank you! Tamara

----Original Message Follows----

Reply-To: parenting_autism

To: <parenting_autism >

Subject: A wise woman's answer to " Welcome To Holland "

Date: Sun, 30 Dec 2001 00:10:28 -0500

I found this here: http://autism.mybravenet.com/

WELCOME TO BEIRUT by F. Rzucidlo

(Beginner's Guide to Autism)

" I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with

autism-to try and help people who have not shared in that unique experience

to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this.. "

There you are, happy in your life, one or two little ones at your feet. Life

is complete and good. One of the children is a little different than the

other but of course, he's like your in-laws, and you did marry into the

family. It can't be all that bad. One day someone comes up from behind you

and throws a black bag over your head. They start kicking you in the stomach

and trying to tear your heart out. You are terrified, kicking and screaming

you struggle to get away but there are too many of them, they overpower you

and stuff you into a trunk of a car. Bruised and dazed, you don't know where

you are. What's going to happen to you? Will you live through this? This is

the day you get the diagnosis. " YOUR CHILD HAS AUTISM " !

There you are in Beirut, dropped in the middle of a war. You don't know the

language and you don't know what is going on. Bombs are dropping " Life long

diagnosis " and " Neurologically impaired " . Bullets whiz by " refrigerator

mother " " A good smack is all HE needs to straighten up " . Your adrenaline

races as the clock ticks away your child's chances for " recovery " . You sure

as heck didn't sign up for this and want out NOW! God has over estimated

your abilities.

Unfortunately, there is no one to send your resignation to. You've done

everything right in your life, well you tried, well, you weren't caught too

often. Hey! you've never even heard of autism before. You look around and

everything looks the same, but different. Your family is the same, your

child is the same, but now he has a label and you have a case worker

assigned to your family. She'll call you soon. You feel like a lab rat

dropped into a maze.

Just as you start to get the first one figured out ( early intervention)

they drop you into a larger more complex one (school). Never to be out done,

there is always the medical intervention maze. That one is almost never

completed.

There is always some new " miracle " drug out there. It helps some kids, will

it help yours? You will find some if the greatest folks in the world are

doing the same maze you are, maybe on another level but a special-ed maze

just the same. Tapping into those folks is a great life line to help you get

through the day. This really sucks but hey, there are still good times to be

had. WARNING! You do develop and odd sense of humor. Every so often you get

hit by a bullet or bomb not enough to kill you, only enough to leave a

gaping wound. Your child regresses for no apparent reason, and it feels like

a kick in the stomach. Some bully makes fun of your kid and your heart

aches. You're excluded from activities and functions because of your child

and you cry. Your other children are embarrassed to be around your disabled

child and you sigh. You're insurance company refuses to provide therapies

for " chronic, life long conditions " and your blood pressure goes up. Your

arm aches from holding onto the phone with yet another bureaucrat or doctor

or therapist who holds the power to improve or destroy the quality of your

child's life with the stroke of a pen. You're exhausted because your child

doesn't sleep.

And yet, hope springs eternal.

Yes there is hope. There ARE new medications. There IS research going on.

There are interventions that help. Thank God for all those who fought so

hard before you came along. Your child will make progress. When he speaks

for the first time, maybe not until he is 8 yrs old, your heart will soar.

You will know that you have experienced a miracle and you will rejoice. The

smallest improvement will look like a huge leap to you. You will marvel at

typical development and realize how amazing it is. You will know sorrow like

few others and yet you will know joy above joy. You will meet dirty faced

angels on playgrounds who are kind to your child without being told to be.

There will be a few nurses and doctors who treat your child with respect and

who will show you concern and love like few others. Knowing eyes will meet

yours in restaurants and malls, they'll understand, they are living through

similar times. For those people you will be forever grateful. Don't get me

wrong. This is war and its awful. There are no discharges and when you are

gone someone else will have to fight in your place.

But, there are lulls in wars, times when the bullets aren't flying and bombs

aren't dropping. Flowers are seen and picked. Life long friendships are

forged. You share and odd kinship with people from all walks of life. Good

times are had, and because we know how bad the bad times are, the good times

are even better. Life is good but your life in never normal again, but hey,

what fun is normal.

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December 30, 2001

You are right about that this is absolutely wonderful

Lori

A wise woman's answer to " Welcome To Holland "