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TO ALL THE DRUNK WOMEN: 19 CLUES TO CALLING IT A NIGHT

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I thought this was funny. New Years is on the way! ;)

TO ALL THE DRUNK WOMEN: 19 CLUES TO CALLING IT A NIGHT

1. You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.

2. You've just had to get someone to help you pull your pants up

in the

ladies room.

3. You suddenly decide you want to kick someone's ass.

4. In your last trip to " pee " you realize you now look more like

Tammy Faye

Baker than the goddess you were just four hours ago.

5.You drop your 3:00 a.m. burrito on the floor, pick it up and

carry on eating.

6. You start crying.

7. There are less than three hours before you're due to start

work.

8. You've found a deeper side to the office nerd.

9. The man you're flirting with used to be your 5th grade teacher.

10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table

and sing

becomes strangely overwhelming.

11. You've forgotten where you live.

12 You've started to sound like Jessie Ventura from the cigarettes

you've

smoked, because (as you've mentioned like 10x's by now) you only

smoke when

you drink.

13. You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated you by

giving you just tonic, but that's just because you can no longer

taste the

gin or vodka.

14. You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like

pizza.

15. You start every conversation with a booming, " Don't take this

the wrong

way but... "

16. You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on

it.

17. Your sloppy hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

18. You're tired so you just sit on the floor (and why not!).

19. You show your friends that girls can pee standing up if they

really want

to.

---

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