Re: Kate -- Catching Up/Venting/Chuck (Tammy)

[Guest guest]

{{{{{{{{Kate}}}}}}}} I am so glad to hear the Alanon meetings are helping you. Our strength, and clarity?, can be found in many places. ) Many years ago, during my first marriage, I attended one of those meetings. The group wasn't quite a fit for me, though. However, nearing the end of the meeting a man came in and it was obvious he was well known to the group. He was so happy, he just beamed! He was leaving his wife. He told a story of something happening, his wife drunk yet again, some mess about the front lawn, neighbors, police and his loving in-laws, etc. But for him, something changed in that moment he described and he was out. No question, no doubts. And watching him made a big impact on me. It was a while yet before I was in that same place, but once there I knew it without doubt. When that door closed behind him, I remember very clearly thinking I should be crying. But

I wasn't and it didn't come. It was right and life was good. Love and prayers to you, Kate. Hugs, Challis katelloydkidz@... wrote: Well Tammy and Helen...Here is a flip side of the coin perhaps... I WISH my husband would leave, cheat or I'd like to say...die...oops, i just did, but I know that is not Christian of me, which I try to be...at least most of the time, I

hope... I know this is our MS haven to chat about, well MS...but...my husband's alcoholism, which has been ongoing, is finally too much for me to take. Somebody asked me the other day--well, what's changed? What's different? Why after almost 20 years, can you no longer take it/deal with it? Good questions...I'm not totally sure why...All I can think of is having been dx'd with MS last 12/05; the fact that is progressing a bit faster than I would have thought in the first year; the impact I see of his rage, drinking, sneakyness about it....he used to drink at home...Now, because he knows i want out...he gets more deceptive...now, he drinks and drives--at the same time! I pray sometimes he'll get caught and pulled over...Every day is so chaotic, so very crazy. I finally got to an Alanon meeting--the first one since only one I went to last year about this time. This is NOT to say, that my heart doesn't go out to each of you about your circumstances...I am so sad to hear these stories...What is very hard on each of us is the stress of these situations. Our physical bodies do not do well with stress--especially MS bodies! I guess some of the things I'm hearing in Alanon are really good tools--and they can be empowering in ANY situation: take one day at a time; God, grant me the courage to change the things I can, the serentity to know the things I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference. I think I wrote that right? I have been focusing on MY responces to my husband--our entire family has become sick from his alcoholism--it is truly a disease that affects the entire family--it is so pathological in our house, so chaotic, bizarre and scary. People ask me if I'm safe--and what they mean is--am i safe

from my husband? But...what they don't consider is--am I safe from myself? I think of death and suicide on a daily basis--sometimes very often throughout the day. It is hard to imagine being in a different place than I am. Blessings and prayers to you, Helen and Tammy on a new chapter, a challenging time in each of your lives....love, kate . begin:vcardn:Rothschild;katefn:Kate

Rothschildtel;cell:tel;home:914 762-8734tel;work:914 332-1943url:http://www.phil413.isagenix.com/org:http://www.allinonebusiness.net;Recharge Your Chiurl:http://www.phil413.isagenix.com/adr:;;6 Spaulding Place;Ossining;NY;10562;USAemail;home;internet:katelloydkidz@...title:Associate and moving UP!version:2.1end:vcard __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Dear Challis~ Just read this today; I have over 6000 emails, and it seems i have to delete page by page--but I'm glad I got to read this one. I cannot tell you how many times I have wanted to leave; have asked him to leave; have considered(and tried) suicide; how many times I dwell on him dying (and I'm a Christian, and this makes me feel like the most horrible person in the world!)...Basically I am coming to accept that I am stuck with him. I do know I have to get back to Alanon meetings--I need them for my sanity. Life is better when he is at work;things seem calmer, less explosive. I wish I could be as strong as you were. When the door closed behind him, was it YOU asking him to leave? or him chosing to leave? I claim all the love and prayers you offer, Challis, and am grateful to you! hugs and blessings, kate Re: Kate -- Catching Up/Venting/Chuck (Tammy)To: MSersLife > {{{{{{{{Kate}}}}}}}} I am so glad to hear the Alanon meetings > are helping you. Our strength, and clarity?, can be found in > many places. ) Many years ago, during my first marriage, I > attended one of those meetings. The group wasn't quite a fit > for me, though. However, nearing the end of the meeting a man > came in and it was obvious he was well known to the group. He > was so happy, he just beamed! He was leaving his wife. He told > a story of something happening, his wife drunk yet again, some > mess about the front lawn, neighbors, police and his loving in-> laws, etc. But for him, something changed in that moment he > described and he was out. No question, no doubts. And watching > him made a big impact on me. It was a while yet before I was in > that same place, but once there I knew it without doubt. When > that door closed behind him, I remember very clearly thinking I > should be crying. But I wasn't and it didn't come. It was > right and life was good.> > Love and prayers to you, Kate. > > Hugs,> Challis> > > katelloydkidz@... wrote:> Well Tammy and Helen...Here is a flip side of the > coin perhaps... I WISH my husband would leave, cheat or I'd like > to say...die...oops, i just did, but I know that is not > Christian of me, which I try to be...at least most of the time, > I hope...> I know this is our MS haven to chat about, well > MS...but...my husband's alcoholism, which has been ongoing, is > finally too much for me to take. Somebody asked me the other day-> -well, what's changed? What's different? Why after almost 20 > years, can you no longer take it/deal with it? Good > questions...I'm not totally sure why...All I can think of is > having been dx'd with MS last 12/05; the fact that is > progressing a bit faster than I would have thought in the first > year; the impact I see of his rage, drinking, sneakyness about > it....he used to drink at home...Now, because he knows i want > out...he gets more deceptive...now, he drinks and drives--at the > same time! I pray sometimes he'll get caught and pulled > over...Every day is so chaotic, so very crazy. I finally got to > an Alanon meeting--the first one since only one I went to last > year about this time.> This is NOT to say, that my heart doesn't go out to each of > you about your circumstances...I am so sad to hear these > stories...What is very hard on each of us is the stress of these > situations. Our physical bodies do not do well with stress--> especially MS bodies!> I guess some of the things I'm hearing in Alanon are really > good tools--and they can be empowering in ANY situation: take > one day at a time; God, grant me the courage to change the > things I can, the serentity to know the things I cannot, and the > wisdom to know the difference. I think I wrote that right? I > have been focusing on MY responces to my husband--our entire > family has become sick from his alcoholism--it is truly a > disease that affects the entire family--it is so pathological in > our house, so chaotic, bizarre and scary. People ask me if I'm > safe--and what they mean is--am i safe from my husband? > But...what they don't consider is--am I safe from myself? I > think of death and suicide on a daily basis--sometimes very > often throughout the day. It is hard to imagine being in a > different place than I am.> Blessings and prayers to you, Helen and Tammy on a new > chapter, a challenging time in each of your lives....love, kate> > > > Recent Activity> > 3> New Members> > 9> New Photos> > Visit Your Group >

[Guest guest]

hey kate.I just read this I was a little behind.I am so worried for you.I know

how this feels.my fiance use to be a drunk and I had to deal with all that

crap.he never beat me but he was very mean and use to throw things.was very

scary for me and my kids.when I got pregnant with my 3 yr. Old I use to have to

leave at least a few times a month.and always swore I wasnt going back.but

always did.guess what thow.he did a total 360 and quit drinking.he knew I was

done and wasnt going to raise are child that way.hes been sober over 3 yrs. Not

1 sip.hes still somewhat nurotic but stable,and now on meds for his issues.they

have the choice to shape up or ship out.thankfully mine chose the right.do you

think if u left for a few days he might get some help?sometimes a wake up call

gets them to wise up.do you love him?im very worried for you,it dosnt take much

to set them off and it isnt fair to walk on eggshells.if u ever need to talk im

here.hugs,cassy

[katelloydkidz@...] wrote:

Dear Challis~ Just read this today; I have over 6000 emails, and it seems i have

to delete page by page--but I'm glad I got to read this one. I cannot tell you

how many times I have wanted to leave; have asked him to leave; have

considered(and tried) suicide; how many times I dwell on him dying (and I'm a

Christian, and this makes me feel like the most horrible person in the

world!)...Basically I am coming to accept that I am stuck with him. I do know I

have to get back to Alanon meetings--I need them for my sanity. Life is better

when he is at work;things seem calmer, less explosive. I wish I could be as

strong as you were. When the door closed behind him, was it YOU asking him to

leave? or him chosing to leave? I claim all the love and prayers you offer,

Challis, and am grateful to you! hugs and blessings, kate

Re: Kate -- Catching Up/Venting/Chuck (Tammy)

To: MSersLife

> {{{{{{{{Kate}}}}}}}} I am so glad to hear the Alanon meetings

> are helping you. Our strength, and clarity?, can be found in

> many places. ) Many years ago, during my first marriage, I

> attended one of those meetings. The group wasn't quite a fit

> for me, though. However, nearing the end of the meeting a man

> came in and it was obvious he was well known to the group. He

> was so happy, he just beamed! He was leaving his wife. He told

> a story of something happening, his wife drunk yet again, some

> mess about the front lawn, neighbors, police and his loving in-

> laws, etc. But for him, something changed in that moment he

> described and he was out. No question, no doubts. And watching

> him made a big impact on me. It was a while yet before I was in

> that same place, but once there I knew it without doubt. When

> that door closed behind him, I remember very clearly thinking I

> should be crying. But I wasn't and it didn't come. It was

> right and life was good.

>

> Love and prayers to you, Kate.

>

> Hugs,

> Challis

>

>

> katelloydkidz@... wrote:

> Well Tammy and Helen...Here is a flip side of the

> coin perhaps... I WISH my husband would leave, cheat or I'd like

> to say...die...oops, i just did, but I know that is not

> Christian of me, which I try to be...at least most of the time,

> I hope...

> I know this is our MS haven to chat about, well

> MS...but...my husband's alcoholism, which has been ongoing, is

> finally too much for me to take. Somebody asked me the other day-

> -well, what's changed? What's different? Why after almost 20

> years, can you no longer take it/deal with it? Good

> questions...I'm not totally sure why...All I can think of is

> having been dx'd with MS last 12/05; the fact that is

> progressing a bit faster than I would have thought in the first

> year; the impact I see of his rage, drinking, sneakyness about

> it....he used to drink at home...Now, because he knows i want....

[Guest guest]

Kate,

I am so sorry to hear you have such a miserble life. I will keep you in my prayers.

Hugs

nne

Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Lifehttp://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.htmlBreastCancerStories.comhttp://www.breastcancerstories.com/content/view/433/161/Angel Feather Loomerwww.angelfeatherloomer.blogspot.comCheck out my other ornaments atwww.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.htmlLots of info and gifts at:www.cancerclub.com

Re: Kate -- Catching Up/Venting/Chuck (Tammy)

Dear Challis~ Just read this today; I have over 6000 emails, and it seems i have to delete page by page--but I'm glad I got to read this one. I cannot tell you how many times I have wanted to leave; have asked him to leave; have considered(and tried) suicide; how many times I dwell on him dying (and I'm a Christian, and this makes me feel like the most horrible person in the world!)...Basically I am coming to accept that I am stuck with him. I do know I have to get back to Alanon meetings--I need them for my sanity. Life is better when he is at work;things seem calmer, less explosive. I wish I could be as strong as you were. When the door closed behind him, was it YOU asking him to leave? or him chosing to leave? I claim all the love and prayers you offer, Challis, and am grateful to you! hugs and blessings, kate----- Original Message -----From: Smyelin groovy Date: Thursday, December 28, 2006 5:47 pmSubje: Re: Kate -- Catching Up/Venting/Chuck (Tammy)To: MSersLife > {{{{{{{{Kate}}}}}}}} I am so glad to hear the Alanon meetings > are helping you. Our strength, and clarity?, can be found in > many places. ) Many years ago, during my first marriage, I > attended one of those meetings. The group wasn't quite a fit > for me, though. However, nearing the end of the meeting a man > came in and it was obvious he was well known to the group. He > was so happy, he just beamed! He was leaving his wife. He told > a story of something happening, his wife drunk yet again, some > mess about the front lawn, neighbors, police and his loving in-> laws, etc. But for him, something changed in that moment he > described and he was out. No question, no doubts. And watching > him made a big impact on me. It was a while yet before I was in > that same place, but once there I knew it without dout When > that door closed behind him, I remember very clearly thinking I > should be crying. But I wasn't and it didn't come. It was > right and life was good.> > Love and prayers to you, Kate. > > Hugs,> Challis> > > katelloydkidzoptonline (DOT) net wrote:> Well Tammy and Helen...Here is a flip side of the > coin perhaps... I WISH my husband would leave, cheat or I'd like > to say...die...oops, i just did, but I know that is not > Christian of me, which I try to be...at least most of the time, > I hope...> I know this is our MS haven to chat about, well > MS...but...my husband's alcoholism, which has been ongoing, is > finally too much for me to take. Somebody asked me the other day-> -well, what's changed? What's different? Why after almost 20 > years, can you no longer take it/deal with it? Good > questions...I'm not totally sure why...Al can think of is > having been dx'd with MS last 12/05; the fact that is > progressing a bit faster than I would have thought in the first > year; the impact I see of his rage, drinking, sneakyness about > it....he used to drink at home...Now, because he knows i want > out...he gets more deceptive...now, he drinks and drives--at the > same time! I pray sometimes he'll get caught and pulled > over...Every day is so chaotic, so very crazy. I finally got to > an Alanon meeting--the first one since only one I went to last > year about this time.> This is NOT to say, that my heart doesn't go out to each of > you about your circumstances...I am so sad to hear these > stories...What is very hard on each of us is the stress of these > situations. Our physical bodies do not do well with stress--> especially MS bodies!> I guess some of the things I'm hearing in Alanon are really > good tools--ad tey can be empowering in ANY situation: take > one day at a time; God, grant me the courage to change the > things I can, the serentity to know the things I cannot, and the > wisdom to know the difference. I think I wrote that right? I > have been focusing on MY responces to my husband--our entire > family has become sick from his alcoholism--it is truly a > disease that affects the entire family--it is so pathological in > our house, so chaotic, bizarre and scary. People ask me if I'm > safe--and what they mean is--am i safe from my husband? > But...what they don't consider is--am I safe from myself? I > think of death and suicide on a daily basis--sometimes very > often throughout the day. It is hard to imagine being in a > different place than I am.> Blessings and prayers to you, Helen and Tammy on a new > chapter, a challenging time in each of your lives....love, kate> > > & t; Rcent Activity> > 3> New Members> > 9> New Photos> > Visit Your Group >

[Guest guest]

nne! Thank you for writing, but I didn't want my life to sound so dismal or miserable! In terms of my marriage, yes it is not usually pleasant. I do have 5 kids I adore, though they have been 'modeling' the rage they see and hear from their dad. My life is not just about my marriage, thank goodness! I love to sing and play the guitar; work 5 hours a week in a nursery school teaching music; am really looking forward to taking a drawing class beginning Jan. 22; participate in a Praise Band at my church; go to MS yoga and aquatics classes--I do try to stay fairly busy and occupy myself with good, positive things. I am looking into volunteering with Hospice Care, and may also try and take an ASL class at the NY School for the Deaf--I like to incorporate sign language into my singing, and maybe someday I could work with the deaf community. So---there's alot that is not miserable...I've been wanting to ask you nne--my therapist told me about 2 wks ago that he has non-hodgkins lymphoma;he has been in remission for 9 years, and now it is back, and he began chemo last week. I bought him a book about prayer, specifically cancer, and wanted to put together a care package for him. Would candied ginger help with nausea from chemo? What sorts of things did you enjoy/or helped you through? You were on chemo? yes? I hope you don't mind me asking--I just want to reach out to him. I haven't scheduled any more sessions with him, as I don't want to tax him--i hope some day i will get to see him again. thank you, blessings, kate Re: Kate -- Catching Up/Venting/Chuck (Tammy)> > > > Dear Challis~ Just read this today; I have over 6000 emails, > and it seems i have to delete page by page--but I'm glad I got > to read this one. I cannot tell you how many times I have wanted > to leave; have asked him to leave; have considered(and tried) > suicide; how many times I dwell on him dying (and I'm a > Christian, and this makes me feel like the most horrible person > in the world!)...Basically I am coming to accept that I am stuck > with him. I do know I have to get back to Alanon meetings--I > need them for my sanity. Life is better when he is at > work;things seem calmer, less explosive. I wish I could be as > strong as you were. When the door closed behind him, was it YOU > asking him to leave? or him chosing to leave? I claim all the > love and prayers you offer, Challis, and am grateful to you! > hugs and blessings, kate> > ----- Original Message -----> From: Smyelin groovy > Date: Thursday, December 28, 2006 5:47 pm> Subje: Re: Kate -- Catching Up/Venting/Chuck (Tammy)> To: MSersLife > > > {{{{{{{{Kate}}}}}}}} I am so glad to hear the Alanon > meetings > > are helping you. Our strength, and clarity?, can be found in > > many places. ) Many years ago, during my first marriage, I > > attended one of those meetings. The group wasn't quite a fit > > for me, though. However, nearing the end of the meeting a > man > > came in and it was obvious he was well known to the group. > He > > was so happy, he just beamed! He was leaving his wife. He > told > > a story of something happening, his wife drunk yet again, > some > > mess about the front lawn, neighbors, police and his loving > in-> > laws, etc. But for him, something changed in that moment he > > described and he was out. No question, no doubts. And > watching > > him made a big impact on me. It was a while yet before I was > in > > that same place, but once there I knew it without dout When > > that door closed behind him, I remember very clearly > thinking I > > should be crying. But I wasn't and it didn't come. It was > > right and life was good.> > > > Love and prayers to you, Kate. > > > > Hugs,> > Challis> > > > > > katelloydkidz@... wrote:> > Well Tammy and Helen...Here is a flip side of the > > coin perhaps... I WISH my husband would leave, cheat or I'd > like > > to say...die...oops, i just did, but I know that is not > > Christian of me, which I try to be...at least most of the > time, > > I hope...> > I know this is our MS haven to chat about, well > > MS...but...my husband's alcoholism, which has been ongoing, > is > > finally too much for me to take. Somebody asked me the other > day-> > -well, what's changed? What's different? Why after almost 20 > > years, can you no longer take it/deal with it? Good > > questions...I'm not totally sure why...Al can think of is > > having been dx'd with MS last 12/05; the fact that is > > progressing a bit faster than I would have thought in the > first > > year; the impact I see of his rage, drinking, sneakyness > about > > it....he used to drink at home...Now, because he knows i > want > > out...he gets more deceptive...now, he drinks and drives--at > the > > same time! I pray sometimes he'll get caught and pulled > > over...Every day is so chaotic, so very crazy. I finally got > to > > an Alanon meeting--the first one since only one I went to > last > > year about this time.> > This is NOT to say, that my heart doesn't go out to each of > > you about your circumstances...I am so sad to hear these > > stories...What is very hard on each of us is the stress of > these > > situations. Our physical bodies do not do well with stress--> > especially MS bodies!> > I guess some of the things I'm hearing in Alanon are really > > good tools--ad tey can be empowering in ANY situation: take > > one day at a time; God, grant me the courage to change the > > things I can, the serentity to know the things I cannot, and > the > > wisdom to know the difference. I think I wrote that right? I > > have been focusing on MY responces to my husband--our entire > > family has become sick from his alcoholism--it is truly a > > disease that affects the entire family--it is so > pathological in > > our house, so chaotic, bizarre and scary. People ask me if > I'm > > safe--and what they mean is--am i safe from my husband? > > But...what they don't consider is--am I safe from myself? I > > think of death and suicide on a daily basis--sometimes very > > often throughout the day. It is hard to imagine being in a > > different place than I am.> > Blessings and prayers to you, Helen and Tammy on a new > > chapter, a challenging time in each of your lives....love, kate> > > > > > > & t; Rcent Activity> > > > 3> > New Members> > > > 9> > New Photos> > > > Visit Your Group > >

[Guest guest]

Hi Kate,

Yes I was on chemo for 6 mo (12 treatments) but didn't have any problems. Just a tiny bit of nausea. I have heard that ginger does help with nausea. If you able to afford a CD or two anything relaxing is good. Also Dr Bernie Siegel has wonderful relaxation tapes although being a therapist he may have access to that sort of thing. Some chemo leaves a metallic taste in your mouth. I know mine did. Any kind of suck on candy is good. Some magazines, books, videos, most anything he could use when he is feeling kind of yucky. I will keep him in my prayers and I don't mind at all that you asked me about chemo.

Hugs

nne

Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Lifehttp://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.htmlBreastCancerStories.comhttp://www.breastcancerstories.com/content/view/433/161/Angel Feather Loomerwww.angelfeatherloomer.blogspot.comCheck out my other ornaments atwww.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.htmlLots of info and gifts at:www.cancerclub.com

Re: Kate -- Catching Up/Venting/Chuck (Tammy)> > > > Dear Challis~ Just read this today; I have over 6000 emails, > and it seems i have to delete page by page--but I'm glad I got > to read this one. I cannot tell you how many times I have wanted > to leave; have asked him to leave; hav cnsidered(and tried) > suicide; how many times I dwell on him dying (and I'm a > Christian, and this makes me feel like the most horrible person > in the world!)...Basically I am coming to accept that I am stuck > with him. I do know I have to get back to Alanon meetings--I > need them for my sanity. Life is better when he is at > work;things seem calmer, less explosive. I wish I could be as > strong as you were. When the door closed behind him, was it YOU > asking him to leave? or him chosing to leave? I claim all the > love and prayers you offer, Challis, and am grateful to you! > hugs and blessings, kate> > ----- Original Message -----> From: Smyelin groovy > Date: Thursday, December 28, 2006 5:47 pm> Subje: Re: Kate -- Catching Up/Venting/Chuck (Tammy)> To: MSersLife > > > {{{{{{{{Kate}}}}}}}} I am so glad to hear the Alanon > meetngs> > are helping you. Our strength, and clarity?, can be found in > > many places. ) Many years ago, during my first marriage, I > > attended one of those meetings. The group wasn't quite a fit > > for me, though. However, nearing the end of the meeting a > man > > came in and it was obvious he was well known to the group. > He > > was so happy, he just beamed! He was leaving his wife. He > told > > a story of something happening, his wife drunk yet again, > some > > mess about the front lawn, neighbors, police and his loving > in-> > laws, etc. But for him, something changed in that moment he > > described and he was out. No question, no doubts. And > watching > > him made a big impact on me. It was a while yet before I was > in > > that same place, but once there I knew it without dout When > > that door closed behind him, Iremeber very clearly > thinking I > > should be crying. But I wasn't and it didn't come. It was > > right and life was good.> > > > Love and prayers to you, Kate. > > > > Hugs,> > Challis> > > > > > katelloydkidzoptonline (DOT) net wrote:> > Well Tammy and Helen...Here is a flip side of the > > coin perhaps... I WISH my husband would leave, cheat or I'd > like > > to say...die...oops, i just did, but I know that is not > > Christian of me, which I try to be...at least most of the > time, > > I hope...> > I know this is our MS haven to chat about, well > > MS...but...my husband's alcoholism, which has been ongoing, > is > > finally too much for me to take. Somebody asked me the other > day-> > -well, what's changed? What's different? Why after almost 20 > > years, ca you o longer take it/deal with it? Good > > questions...I'm not totally sure why...Al can think of is > > having been dx'd with MS last 12/05; the fact that is > > progressing a bit faster than I would have thought in the > first > > year; the impact I see of his rage, drinking, sneakyness > about > > it....he used to drink at home...Now, because he knows i > want > > out...he gets more deceptive...now, he drinks and drives--at > the > > same time! I pray sometimes he'll get caught and pulled > > over...Every day is so chaotic, so very crazy. I finally got > to > > an Alanon meeting--the first one since only one I went to > last > > year about this time.> > This is NOT to say, that my heart doesn't go out to each of > > you about your circumstances...I am so sad to hear these > > stories...What is very hard on each of us s the tress of > these > > situations. Our physical bodies do not do well with stress--> > especially MS bodies!> > I guess some of the things I'm hearing in Alanon are really > > good tools--ad tey can be empowering in ANY situation: take > > one day at a time; God, grant me the courage to change the > > things I can, the serentity to know the things I cannot, and > the > > wisdom to know the difference. I think I wrote that right? I > > have been focusing on MY responces to my husband--our entire > > family has become sick from his alcoholism--it is truly a > > disease that affects the entire family--it is so > pathological in > > our house, so chaotic, bizarre and scary. People ask me if > I'm > > safe--and what they mean is--am i safe from my husband? > > But...what they don't consider is--am I safe from myself? I > > think of deathand suiide on a daily basis--sometimes very > > often throughout the day. It is hard to imagine being in a > > different place than I am.> > Blessings and prayers to you, Helen and Tammy on a new > > chapter, a challenging time in each of your lives....love, kate> > > > > > > & t; Rcent Activity> > > > 3> > New Members> > > > 9> > New Photos> > > > Visit Your Group > >

[Guest guest]

nne,

Thanks for the advice. My brother has been

in remission for a couple of months. He had colon cancer. The radiation was

really hard for him. The past month he has had trouble holding down food. 2

days ago they found more cancer pressing against his stomach. We will find out

on Tuesday, if they are going to do chemo or surgery first. I am flying over in

8days to spend a week with him (he lives in Germany). I will look for some

relaxing CDs to take with me.

Connie

From: MSersLife [mailto:MSersLife ] On Behalf Of & nne Svihlik

Sent: Sunday, December 31, 2006

12:58 PM

To: MSersLife

Subject: Re: Kate --

Catching Up/Venting/Chuck (Tammy)

Hi Kate,

Yes I was on chemo for 6 mo (12 treatments) but didn't have

any problems. Just a tiny bit of nausea. I have heard that ginger does help

with nausea. If you able to afford a CD or two anything relaxing is good. Also

Dr Bernie Siegel has wonderful relaxation tapes although being a therapist he

may have access to that sort of thing. Some chemo leaves a metallic taste in

your mouth. I know mine did. Any kind of suck on candy is good. Some magazines,

books, videos, most anything he could use when he is feeling kind of yucky. I

will keep him in my prayers and I don't mind at all that you asked me about

chemo.

Hugs

nne

Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Life

http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.html

BreastCancerStories.com

http://www.breastcancerstories.com/content/view/433/161/

Angel Feather Loomer

www.angelfeatherloomer.blogspot.com

Check out my other ornaments at

www.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.html

Lots of info and gifts at:

www.cancerclub.com

Re: Kate -- Catching Up/Venting/Chuck (Tammy)

>

>

>

> Dear Challis~ Just read this today; I have over 6000 emails,

> and it seems i have to delete page by page--but I'm glad I got

> to read this one. I cannot tell you how many times I have wanted

> to leave; have asked him to leave; hav cnsidered(and tried)

> suicide; how many times I dwell on him dying (and I'm a

> Christian, and this makes me feel like the most horrible person

> in the world!)...Basically I am coming to accept that I am stuck

> with him. I do know I have to get back to Alanon meetings--I

> need them for my sanity. Life is better when he is at

> work;things seem calmer, less explosive. I wish I could be as

> strong as you were. When the door closed behind him, was it YOU

> asking him to leave? or him chosing to leave? I claim all the

> love and prayers you offer, Challis, and am grateful to you!

> hugs and blessings, kate

>

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: Smyelin groovy

> Date: Thursday, December 28, 2006 5:47 pm

> Subje: Re: Kate -- Catching Up/Venting/Chuck (Tammy)

> To: MSersLife

>

> > {{{{{{{{Kate}}}}}}}} I am so glad to hear the Alanon

> meetngs

> > are helping you. Our strength, and clarity?, can be found in

> > many places. ) Many years ago, during my first marriage, I

> > attended one of those meetings. The group wasn't quite a fit

> > for me, though. However, nearing the end of the meeting a

> man

> > came in and it was obvious he was well known to the group.

> He

> > was so happy, he just beamed! He was leaving his wife. He

> told

> > a story of something happening, his wife drunk yet again,

> some

> > mess about the front lawn, neighbors, police and his loving

> in-

> > laws, etc. But for him, something changed in that moment he

> > described and he was out. No question, no doubts. And

> watching

> > him made a big impact on me. It was a while yet before I was

> in

> > that same place, but once there I knew it without dout When

> > that door closed behind him, Iremeber very clearly

> thinking I

> > should be crying. But I wasn't and it didn't come. It was

> > right and life was good.

> >

> > Love and prayers to you, Kate.

> >

> > Hugs,

> > Challis

> >

> >

> > katelloydkidzoptonline (DOT) net wrote:

> > Well Tammy and Helen...Here is a flip side of the

> > coin perhaps... I WISH my husband would leave, cheat or I'd

> like

> > to say...die...oops, i just did, but I know that is not

> > Christian of me, which I try to be...at least most of the

> time,

> > I hope...

> > I know this is our MS haven to chat about, well

> > MS...but...my husband's alcoholism, which has been ongoing,

> is

> > finally too much for me to take. Somebody asked me the other

> day-

> > -well, what's changed? What's different? Why after almost 20

> > years, ca you o longer take it/deal with it? Good

> > questions...I'm not totally sure why...Al can think of is

> > having been dx'd with MS last 12/05; the fact that is

> > progressing a bit faster than I would have thought in the

> first

> > year; the impact I see of his rage, drinking, sneakyness

> about

> > it....he used to drink at home...Now, because he knows i

> want

> > out...he gets more deceptive...now, he drinks and drives--at

> the

> > same time! I pray sometimes he'll get caught and pulled

> > over...Every day is so chaotic, so very crazy. I finally got

> to

> > an Alanon meeting--the first one since only one I went to

> last

> > year about this time.

> > This is NOT to say, that my heart doesn't go out to each of

> > you about your circumstances...I am so sad to hear these

> > stories...What is very hard on each of us s the tress of

> these

> > situations. Our physical bodies do not do well with stress--

> > especially MS bodies!

> > I guess some of the things I'm hearing in Alanon are really

> > good tools--ad tey can be empowering in ANY situation: take

> > one day at a time; God, grant me the courage to change the

> > things I can, the serentity to know the things I cannot, and

> the

> > wisdom to know the difference. I think I wrote that right? I

> > have been focusing on MY responces to my husband--our entire

> > family has become sick from his alcoholism--it is truly a

> > disease that affects the entire family--it is so

> pathological in

> > our house, so chaotic, bizarre and scary. People ask me if

> I'm

> > safe--and what they mean is--am i safe from my husband?

> > But...what they don't consider is--am I safe from myself? I

> > think of deathand suiide on a daily basis--sometimes very

> > often throughout the day. It is hard to imagine being in a

> > different place than I am.

> > Blessings and prayers to you, Helen and Tammy on a new

> > chapter, a challenging time in each of your lives....love, kate

> >

> >

> >

> & t; Rcent Activity

> >

> > 3

> > New Members

> >

> > 9

> > New Photos

> >

> > Visit Your Group

> >

[Guest guest]

Connie,

I am sorry to hear about your brother. When Chuck's Mom had stomach cancer they put a tube in and fed her that way. When she was better they told us to give her Ensure and we could mix flavors, like half chocolate and hlaf bananna etc. She really didn't care for Ensure. I had a nurse tell me that Carnation Instant Breakfast is as good as Ensure as you get all the vitamins etc. its cheaper and tastes better. I will keep your brother in my prayers.

Hugs

nne

Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Lifehttp://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.htmlBreastCancerStories.comhttp://www.breastcancerstories.com/content/view/433/161/Angel Feather Loomerwww.angelfeatherloomer.blogspot.comCheck out my other ornaments atwww.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.htmlLots of info and gifts at:www.cancerclub.com

Re: Kate -- Catching Up/Venting/Chuck (Tammy)> > > > Dear Challis~ Just read this today; I have over 6000 emails, > and it seems i have to delete page by page--but I'm glad I got > to read this one. I cannot tell you how many times I have wanted > to leave; have asked him to leave; hav cnsidered(and tried) > suicide; how many times I dwell on him dying (and I'm a > Christian, and this makes me feel like the most horrible person > in the world!)...Basically I am coming to accept that I am stuck > with him. I do know I have to get back to Alanon meetings--I > need them for my sanity. Life is better when he is at > work;things seem calmer, less explosive. I wish I could be as > strong as you were. When the door closed behind him, was it YOU > asking him to leave? or him chosing to leave? I claim all the > love and prayers you offer, Challis, and am grateful to you! > hugs and blessings, kate> > ----- Original Message -----> From: Smyelin groovy > Date: Thursday, December 28, 2006 5:47 pm> Subje: Re: Kate -- Catching Up/Venting/Chuck (Tammy)> To: MSersLife > > > {{{{{{{{Kate}}}}}}}} I am so glad to hear the Alanon > meetngs> > are helping you. Our strength, and clarity?, can be found in > > many places. ) Many years ago, during my first marriage, I > > attended one of those meetings. The group wasn't quite a fit > > for me, though. However, nearing the end of the meeting a > man > > came in and it was obvious he was well known to the group. > He > > was so happy, he just beamed! He was leaving his wife. He > told > > a story of something happening, his wife drunk yet again, > some > > mess about the front lawn, neighbors, police and his loving > in-> > laws, etc. But for him, something changed in that moment he > > described and he was out. No question, no doubts. And > watching > > him made a big impact on me. It was a while yet before I was > in > > that same place, but once there I knew it without dout When > > that door closed behind him, Iremeber very clearly > thinking I > > should be crying. But I wasn't and it didn't come. It was > > right and life was good.> > > > Love and prayers to you, Kate. > > > > Hugs,> > Challis> > > > > > katelloydkidzoptonline (DOT) net wrote:> > Well Tammy and Helen...Here is a flip side of the > > coin perhaps... I WISH my husband would leave, cheat or I'd > like > > to say...die...oops, i just did, but I know that is not > > Christian of me, which I try to be...at least most of the > time, > > I hope...> > I know this is our MS haven to chat about, well > > MS...but...my husband's alcoholism, which has been ongoing, > is > > finally too much for me to take. Somebody asked me the other > day-> > -well, what's changed? What's different? Why after almost 20 > > years, ca you o longer take it/deal with it? Good > > questions...I'm not totally sure why...Al can think of is > > having been dx'd with MS last 12/05; the fact that is > > progressing a bit faster than I would have thought in the > first > > year; the impact I see of his rage, drinking, sneakyness > about > > it....he used to drink at home...Now, because he knows i > want > > out...he gets more deceptive...now, he drinks and drives--at > the > > same time! I pray sometimes he'll get caught and pulled > > over...Every day is so chaotic, so very crazy. I finally got > to > > an Alanon meeting--the first one since only one I went to > last > > year about this time.> > This is NOT to say, that my heart doesn't go out to each of > > you about your circumstances...I am so sad to hear these > > stories...What is very hard on each of us s the tress of > these > > situations. Our physical bodies do not do well with stress--> > especially MS bodies!> > I guess some of the things I'm hearing in Alanon are really > > good tools--ad tey can be empowering in ANY situation: take > > one day at a time; God, grant me the courage to change the > > things I can, the serentity to know the things I cannot, and > the > > wisdom to know the difference. I think I wrote that right? I > > have been focusing on MY responces to my husband--our entire > > family has become sick from his alcoholism--it is truly a > > disease that affects the entire family--it is so > pathological in > > our house, so chaotic, bizarre and scary. People ask me if > I'm > > safe--and what they mean is--am i safe from my husband? > > But...what they don't consider is--am I safe from myself? I > > think of deathand suiide on a daily basis--sometimes very > > often throughout the day. It is hard to imagine being in a > > different place than I am.> > Blessings and prayers to you, Helen and Tammy on a new > > chapter, a challenging time in each of your lives....love, kate> > > > > > > & t; Rcent Activity> > > > 3> > New Members> > > > 9> > New Photos> > > > Visit Your Group > >