Guest guest Posted January 7, 2002 Report Share Posted January 7, 2002 How long do we have to live like this? How long will I have to look at my daughter and deny she is very different? How long will I ignore the dark circles under her eyes? How long will I ignore how thin she is? How long will I have to clean up accident after accident? How long will I have to deny that she's always just a little off in appearance? How long will I have to facilitate for her when she is with other children? How long will I have to face this? How long will I ignore that she will eat barely nothing? How long will I have to ask " what do you want for breakfast/lunch/dinner and hear 'I don't know' or hear the same thing she has every day? How long do I have to wonder what is really happening at school? How long will I have to rush home every day after school to ensure she doesn't have an accident? How long will I have to try to convince my husband that I know so much more about our daughter than he does? How long do I have to kid myself that this is just how it is, and that I'm used to it? How long? Penny - taking a good long look at her life...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2002 Report Share Posted January 7, 2002 > Penny - taking a good long look at her life...... < i obviously have no answers to any of your questions. i just want to REALLY apologize if my stupid " joke " made you anymore depressed than you already were :'( " Help! Jane! Stop this crazy thing! " - Jetson Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2002 Report Share Posted January 8, 2002 > How long do I have to kid myself that this is just how it is, and that I'm > used to it? > > How long? > > Penny - taking a good long look at her life...... Penny, I believe that you ARE used to it. But being used to it and being sick to death of it CAN co-exist. Just because you're used to it, just because you've accepted it, even, doesn't mean that you can't just hate the hell out of it sometimes. I'm going to take this out of the autism realm to illustrate my point: I'm fat. I've accepted this. I'm used to this. Most of the time, I'm okay with it. But sometimes I think, " Oh my god, I'm a cow I can't take this anymore I hate my life. " and I just can't cope. After a while, those feelings fade again, and after a while, I can see the good things about myself again. And this will continue to happen. Because, like autism, I didn't invite fat into my life. It just happened. (with the help of lithium) I live with it, I do my best with it, and I know that if I want to stay sane there is no other way. Penny, you're strong. It's true. And don't let bad feelings make you think you're not. And being strong doesn't mean you can't ever be fed up, discouraged, and angry... Feeling those things just means that you're not superhuman. Jacquie - who has no idea if any of this made sense, because is behind her screaming, " You're a CAT!!! BE A CAT!!!!!!!! " and barking like a dog in agony. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2002 Report Share Posted January 8, 2002 > How long do we have to live like this?> Penny, for me the question is always, " WHY do we have to live like this? " I guess I never considered that there COULD be an end to it... But the sentiment is the same...it stinks. It's not fair. It's no fun. It's downright scary a good chunk of the time. And it gets old...REAL old. I wish I had some brilliant words for you to help you feel better, but I don't. Didn't have any for Grace, either...just the same, sympathetic ear, leaned in your direction. Take care. You're a good mom, dealing with a tough situation. Every once in a while, you realize how it's taking it's toll on you. Raena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2002 Report Share Posted January 8, 2002 Penny: I can't answer your question, but, of course, you didn't really think anyone could. It's tough and it's best not to look too closely at anything while you are living through it. I had a horrible shopping trip this morning and I accidentally caught sight of myself in a mirror. I looked awful. Enrique's snow boots, old sweatshirt and sweatpants, messy hair, and a tired face. I looked old and fat. I don't usually see myself that way but the unexpected glimpse caught me with all my rationalizing defenses down. I am sure I could whip myself into shape if I had the time and energy but will I? So how long for me too. But I try not to think about it because thinking about it doesn't help. Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2002 Report Share Posted January 8, 2002 > > How long? > > Penny - taking a good long look at her life...... Penny, Jacquie's reply made me come back and find your original post. If I could, I would give you a big, long hug - and then offer you the strongest drink in the world to share with me. How long, indeed. I don't know how long, Penny, but I know it's too, too long already, and it will be for much longer from hereon.... Make that a double, triple, quadruple strength drink. I wish I knew some words that could make you feel better, I'd say them now. But all I can say is that knowing you, you will lift yourself above this before you know. You have wings that are stronger than anything reality can throw at you. Grace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2002 Report Share Posted January 8, 2002 Hey Penny, I don't know what to say, but I wanted you to know that I read this and you have been on my mind. Ginger __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2002 Report Share Posted January 9, 2002 Penny, I'm gonna tell you the same thing you all told me when I did this a few months ago. One Day At A Time. Don't worry about the how longs and the why's and the how comes. I realized something the other day... isn't that diffrent. He's normal..for him. And that is cool with me. I tell other kids that 's brain works diffrent then theirs, and that he can't talk to well, and it helps. They seem to understand fairly well. So I explain to their parents, and ask the parents to help moderate between the kids with me, and to try to help their kids understnd that is just a little diffrent, like their friends who have diffrent color hair or skin. I explained to 's nephew Dominick (who thinks that he's gonna marry me when he grows up-- he's just turned 5) that was like him. He liked to play with Legos and trucks, and to swim and play outside, but that he doesn't always understand WHY he can't or should do things, and that he has trouble talking. Dommy nodded saggely and said, " Well, I can still play with him. Buzz Lightyear would think that playing with other kids is good, even if they are diffrent. Just tell me what he's saying if I can't understand him, okay? " It damn near brought tears to my eyes. So, Penny, look at your daughter, and think this instead: " How much longer will this child think I'm the center of her world? " Enjoy her hon, and know that we sympathize, understand, and we're here for you love. >How long do we have to live like this? >How long will I have to look at my daughter and deny she is very different? >How long will I ignore the dark circles under her eyes? >How long will I ignore how thin she is? >How long will I have to clean up accident after accident? >How long will I have to deny that she's always just a little off in >appearance? >How long will I have to facilitate for her when she is with other children? >How long will I have to face this? >How long will I ignore that she will eat barely nothing? >How long will I have to ask " what do you want for breakfast/lunch/dinner and >hear 'I don't know' or hear the same thing she has every day? >How long do I have to wonder what is really happening at school? >How long will I have to rush home every day after school to ensure she >doesn't have an accident? >How long will I have to try to convince my husband that I know so much more >about our daughter than he does? >How long do I have to kid myself that this is just how it is, and that I'm >used to it? > >How long? > >Penny - taking a good long look at her life...... > > -- ... Mom to: , 3, Pro-Wrestler in hiding , 1, Opera Soprano in-the-making Missing those beautifully wonderful babies. Without them, the Sun has left my universe. __________________________________________________________________ Your favorite stores, helpful shopping tools and great gift ideas. Experience the convenience of buying online with Shop@Netscape! http://shopnow.netscape.com/ Get your own FREE, personal Netscape Mail account today at http://webmail.netscape.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2002 Report Share Posted January 9, 2002 Thanks Ginger. :-) Penny Re: How Long Hey Penny, I don't know what to say, but I wanted you to know that I read this and you have been on my mind. Ginger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2002 Report Share Posted January 9, 2002 >Dommy nodded saggely and said, " Well, I can still play with him. Buzz Lightyear would think that playing with other kids is good, even if they are diffrent. Just tell me what he's saying if I can't understand him, okay? " < Brilliant, wonderful child. :') Tuna ===== " Normal is just a setting on the washing machine. " Whoopi Goldberg ______________________________________________________________________ Web-hosting solutions for home and business! http://website.yahoo.ca Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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