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Re: Rudeness

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In a message dated 12/27/01 4:01:42 AM Pacific Standard Time, Penny writes:

> My dh is the same way. Sometimes he forgets (intentionally or

> unintentionally) that the things Jacqui does are because she's autistic.

> It's a very fine line.

>

>

You know, I don't know how to move to that understanding

that they really don't have control over that rudeness.

Only in the last couple of years have I finally

gained that understanding and now have

more patience for her than ever.

Time is what does it.

Barb

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You know, I don't know how to move to that understanding

that they really don't have control over that rudeness.

Only in the last couple of years have I finally

gained that understanding and now have

more patience for her than ever.

Time is what does it.

Barb

Barb-

I try to look at it as a communication issue. It's a pretty straight

forward, blunt way of communicating. And since our kids have a difficult

time picking up on " social cues " , they don't realize they are being rude.

Of course, that doesn't mean I don't try to alter the behavior. We have

been making Jacqui say " Please " and " Thank You " forever (thereby always

getting the " she's SOOOOO polite " line from everyone), and when she does

something that we feel is rude, we tell her " That's rude " and somehow she

associates " rude " with " bad " and sometimes it works....

So, yes, we try to teach her the social graces, but only by understanding

first they she isn't aware of them.

Penny :-)

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> Of course, that doesn't mean I don't try to alter the behavior. We have

> been making Jacqui say " Please " and " Thank You " forever (thereby always

> getting the " she's SOOOOO polite " line from everyone), and when she does

> something that we feel is rude, we tell her " That's rude " and somehow she

> associates " rude " with " bad " and sometimes it works....

One of the things that I like about ABA is that they teach them the

automatic " Please, " and " Thank you " stuff. Putter always says, " Yes,

please, " and " Thank you, " and " No thank you, " although " No thank you, " is

pronounced " Nobaku " which looks vaguely Japanese and which he has taught to

Robbie who has reduced it even further to " No kyu. " But still it does make

him LOOK polite.

Even though we know he really isn't.

Salli

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In a message dated 12/29/01 9:12:11 AM Pacific Standard Time, Penny writes:

> when she does

> something that we feel is rude, we tell her " That's rude " and somehow she

> associates " rude " with " bad " and sometimes it works....

>

>

Yeah, it does. I wonder why? Shame, maybe?

Barb

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In a message dated 12/29/01 12:39:50 PM Pacific Standard Time, Salli writes:

> One of the things that I like about ABA is that they teach them the

> automatic " Please, " and " Thank you " stuff.

>

What does ABA mean?

Barb

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> What does ABA mean?

ABA means applied behavior analysis. It is behavior modification

essentially but for kids with autism they break down each normal task into

tiny components and teach it bit by bit. Putter's school has one on one

tutors for all the students in the DTT classroom (DTT is discrete trial

training, another word for ABA); they work in black painted booths to reduce

the distractions. Ivor Lovaas who is kind of the father of ABA published a

study that seemed to indicate that " recovery " was popular for about half the

kids with autism, although a closer study look shows that it wasn't so much

recovery as functioning quite well. Maurice popularized ABA in

her book Let Me Hear Your Voice which is about how ABA did, apparently,

recover her two small children from autism. Her children were VERY young

which may explain the results that she got (they both lost the dx). ABA is

very expensive because it is very labor intensive (must be one on one at

least at first and at least with more severe forms of autism; less severe

forms of autism probably don't need ABA anyway) so to run a home program is

estimated to cost about $20,000 to $60,000 a year but a school system can do

it cheaper. Putter's school can afford it because 1) they got sued big time

and were forced to pay for home programs for parents of kids with autism and

2) the university has an excellent behavioral psychology program that they

hire tutors from as part of the tutors education.

Hope this helps.

Salli

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