Re: practicalities of getting important promises kept (formerly Introductions)

[Guest guest]

Kate,

The autism-does-not-speak-for-autistics parents are the worst so far that

I've met!! They seem to have no idea, no awareness, and no concept, that

how they treat someone could be exactly how their precious child will be

treated someday...strike that only because how sad they may not even think

their child is precious if they are so " devistated " (bs!!)etc. to be blessed

with such beautiful children!!! And so therefore I doubt they will have

nurtured any type of relationship with their precious child that their child

will find them as a friend to cry to. How terrible and sad these propaganda

spreading agencies truly are, and the parents who believe the bs should be

very ashamed!!!!

Jeanie

On Thu, Jul 22, 2010 at 4:41 PM, Kate Gladstone <handwritingrepair@...

> wrote:

>

>

> Re:

>

>

> > > And the disadvantage that a lot of people will despise or downgrade you

> > when

> > > they suddenly find that this apparently " normal " person (that they've

> > been

> > > having nice conversations with, or whatever) is -- GASP! HORRORS! " --

> > " not

> > > normal at all " but has been " insidiously " managing to pass ...

> >

> > Some, occasionally. Not my usual experience though. Most people make

> > some kind of misguided remark about how well I cope seeing as I have

> > this terrible disability and all, I don't think I've ever had worse

> > than that to my face.

> >

>

> Have you ever mentioned your autism to the parents of an autistic child,

> halfway through a conversation? Especially if the parents belonged to

> " Autism Speaks " or ASA? Try it -- my husband and I have done so. Instantly,

> in the other person's eyes you will no longer be *really* ever an adult,

> even if you are older and more productively employed than the other person.

>

> I suspect that, if my husband and I were parents too -- and said so -- the

> " autism organization parents " would REALLY freak. Has anyone here (who has

> kids) tried that?

>

>

> Kate Gladstone

>

>

[Guest guest]

Re:

>

> Kate,

> The autism-does-not-speak-for-autistics parents are the worst so far that

> I've met!! They seem to have no idea, no awareness, and no concept, that

> how they treat someone could be exactly how their precious child will be

> treated someday...

>

Sometimes it helps A LOT if you point out to them that the way they treat

someone else could be exactly how *they* *themselves* will be treated one

day ... the way that someone treats autistic people is usually the way that

s/he will treat someone who gets a stroke or Alzheimer's or loses

sight/hearing/mobility or lots of other things that can happen to your brain

or body as you get older.

Kate Gladstone

[Guest guest]

> Have you ever mentioned your autism to the parents of an autistic child,

> halfway through a conversation?

I have told people I'm on spectrum after I've found out they have an

autistic child or grandchild, yes. I genuinely don't get the horror

responses you do. Recently I told someone I'm on spectrum because I

overheard (or was semi-involved in) a conversation where she was

saying she's a special needs teacher and she feels really sorry for

the parents of autistic kids. I had to speak up! And she was lovely,

interested. I still see her at choral, usually sit next to her. The

person who sits the other side of me has an AS grandson.

It may depend how you approach it - if I was to go in guns blazing

saying you musn't talk about autistics like that it would put their

backs up, I'm sure. But if I quietly say I'm autistic, and then am

happy to answer any questions that come up, well it always seems ok.

I've really never had the unpleasant responses you have. Mind you,

Autism $peaks doesn't have such a following in the UK, but even so.

--

" Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are. "

Kurt Cobain

[Guest guest]

Oh, I don't go in with guns a-blazing: I say it *very* quietly, and only

after the other person has talked a little bit about " all of us poor sad

autism parents, taking care of children who will never grow up because the

soul was sucked right out of them by autism " ... or something similar.

On Fri, Jul 23, 2010 at 04:39, Autiste Ruth wrote:

>

>

> On 22 July 2010 22:41, Kate Gladstone

<handwritingrepair@...<handwritingrepair%40gmail.com>>

> wrote:

>

> > Have you ever mentioned your autism to the parents of an autistic child,

> > halfway through a conversation?

>

> I have told people I'm on spectrum after I've found out they have an

> autistic child or grandchild, yes. ...

>

>

>

Kate Gladstone

[Guest guest]

Just regarding those committed to the autism-does-not-speak-for-autistics

(a$) paradigm, (and not about loving grandparents/parents/ " uncommon "

teachers, etc)... In the US and from what I've seen, a$ is very " popular "

(ugh!) and its followers come across as proselytizing or even worse to the

rest of us who just simply love our children. Respectfully and quietly

" listening, " their parroted propaganda starts heading into extremely

un-welcomed and unasked for " advices, " and then goes to crossing lines that

no parent should have to listen to. If they keep pushing the poison, I

merely mention 'education/experience in social service' and 'what the

research shows,' etc.

For a$ propaganda believers, there is no need to come in with guns a-blazing

- the cannons are already afire before we walked in the door. It is a bit,

well, scary! I had thought of opening a parents group sharing a " new "

paradigm around children, and so far chose not to with ideas of keeping

" harm " at bay. And after quietly and respectfully listening to the bs what

a shame it is on these a$ followers who " want to " help " " , if we are reduced

into whispering about neurodiversity, etc...

Jeanie

On Fri, Jul 23, 2010 at 3:45 AM, Kate Gladstone <handwritingrepair@...

> wrote:

>

>

> Oh, I don't go in with guns a-blazing: I say it *very* quietly, and only

> after the other person has talked a little bit about " all of us poor sad

> autism parents, taking care of children who will never grow up because the

> soul was sucked right out of them by autism " ... or something similar.

>

> On Fri, Jul 23, 2010 at 04:39, Autiste Ruth

<autisteruth@...<autisteruth%40googlemail.com>

> >wrote:

>

> >

> >

> > On 22 July 2010 22:41, Kate Gladstone

<handwritingrepair@...<handwritingrepair%40gmail.com>

> <handwritingrepair%40gmail.com>>

>

> > wrote:

> >

> > > Have you ever mentioned your autism to the parents of an autistic

> child,

> > > halfway through a conversation?

> >

> > I have told people I'm on spectrum after I've found out they have an

> > autistic child or grandchild, yes. ...

>

> >

> >

> >

>

> Kate Gladstone

>

>

[Guest guest]

> For a$ propaganda believers, there is no need to come in with guns a-blazing

> - the cannons are already afire before we walked in the door. It is a bit,

> well, scary!

OK.

I just never experienced anything like that myself.

Sounds like A$ has a lot of parents under severe mind-control, worrying.

Ruth

--

" Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are. "

Kurt Cobain