Re: Re: Freda's mother's situation

[Guest guest]

sorry to say my brother is the poa and a n idiot.  They convinced him that my

mom was in great pain and that we were selfish and that we were putting my mom

through more and making her suffer. This came from hospice. My mom has her right

mind.  She is talking in the present to us and is asking to be taken home. all

that I can say is that i wish this experience on noone and that even if you are

related to the like my brother he is a idiot poa's are idiots who need to be

taught a lesson. His wife of 25 yrs was diagnosed with ms and he put her in a

nursing home and divorced her and remarried. She found out and refused all

treatments and died from a bladder infection

________________________________

To: LBDcaregivers

Sent: Sunday, December 25, 2011 8:47 AM

Subject: Re: Freda's mother's situation

 

Freda,

Who is your mother's healthcare proxy -- you or your brother? That person

should meet with the patient advocate at the hospital for help. I'd also

suggest talking with the social worker at the hospital (they are often the

discharge planners) to try to become educated on all the things the hospital is

saying.

You have a right to change hospice organizations. (Though another hospice

organization doesn't have an obligation to accept your mother.) And the

healthcare proxy has a right to insist on whatever treatment he/she wants for

your mother.

Is the issue that you and the healthcare proxy do not agree?

Robin

>

> I have been in contact with hospital administrators from community and IU they

say if we fire Hospice no one will take my mom and they would not refer  her

to another neurologist. All this has to be done through physician to physician

Hospice said if we took her from the hospital we would owe the entire bill of 21

days since her diagnosis and admittance into the hospital.

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: " LBDcaregivers " <LBDcaregivers >

> Sent: Saturday, December 24, 2011 7:22 AM

> Subject: Re: drugs used to treat

>

>

>  

> my brother is a yes man to all the doctors. my mom's condition took a turn for

the worst night  Hospice was called in and I asked for an IV and they

refused. They said that they are going to let nature take its course.  My mom

developed a sore throat, possible uti and dehydrated and possible shingles. 

She had been up all day with me eating and drinking and laughing. her mind is in

tact.  She just kept telling me that she didn't feel right and her throat

hurt My mom is fully aware of everything that is going on she just cannot feed

herself or walk anymore since the bad drugs. She was supposed to get transfered

out yesterday and we were told that we were waiting on a bed.  They lied they

were not looking for a bed just waiting for her to die and to pacify me. 

They treatened me that if I took off hospice and moved her that i would owe the

bill for the hospital. They said IU would not take my mom if we showed up at the

emergency with

her without a

> doctor. Her hospice neuro said he would not help with a doctor replacement

because of being accused of a monoply. Is there any one in inpls that will help

me before they kill her

>

>

[Guest guest]

Freda,

If one of you is your mother's healthcare proxy, legally identified in her

medical directive/living will, your family needs to get together and

provide that proxy with a plan for the rest of her life based on some sort

of agreement - for your mom's sake as well as your own. If there is no such

document and she is no longer able to make one, someone may need to file

for guardianship.

Please don't let that turn into a divisive family battle. What a sad thing

that would be for your mom, to have her family divided when they most need

each others support.

You are at an incredible emotional point in your mom's life. If your

brother is making decisions, he needs to discuss his reasoning with you and

you should explain your objections. Or better, talk about possible

scenarios and try to agree on the best way for handling them as your mom

would want them handled.

One of the most difficult things at a time like this, especially if there

is no medical directive/living will, is to set aside personal biases and

think only of what she would want, whatever those wishes would be. This is

a critical time for your family. Please don't let prejudices and things

said in anger or without full understanding break you apart and leave your

mom going through what she is enduring with only broken pieces of her

family for support.

I'm hoping to hear that tensions have eased and you are facing this as a

united family - for all of your sakes.

Kathy

Kate Knapp

On Dec 25, 2011 7:51 AM, " rriddle_travel "

wrote:

> **

>

>

> Freda,

>

> Who is your mother's healthcare proxy -- you or your brother? That person

> should meet with the patient advocate at the hospital for help. I'd also

> suggest talking with the social worker at the hospital (they are often the

> discharge planners) to try to become educated on all the things the

> hospital is saying.

>

> You have a right to change hospice organizations. (Though another hospice

> organization doesn't have an obligation to accept your mother.) And the

> healthcare proxy has a right to insist on whatever treatment he/she wants

> for your mother.

>

> Is the issue that you and the healthcare proxy do not agree?

>

> Robin

>

>

> >

> > I have been in contact with hospital administrators from community and

> IU they say if we fire Hospice no one will take my mom and they would not

> refer her to another neurologist. All this has to be done through

> physician to physician Hospice said if we took her from the hospital we

> would owe the entire bill of 21 days since her diagnosis and admittance

> into the hospital.

> >

> >

> >

> > ________________________________

> >

> > To: " LBDcaregivers " <LBDcaregivers >

> > Sent: Saturday, December 24, 2011 7:22 AM

> > Subject: Re: drugs used to treat

> >

> >

> > Â

> > my brother is a yes man to all the doctors. my mom's condition took a

> turn for the worst night Hospice was called in and I asked for an IV and

> they refused. They said that they are going to let nature take its

> course. My mom developed a sore throat, possible uti and dehydrated and

> possible shingles. She had been up all day with me eating and drinking

> and laughing. her mind is in tact. She just kept telling me that she

> didn't feel right and her throat hurt My mom is fully aware of everything

> that is going on she just cannot feed herself or walk anymore since the bad

> drugs. She was supposed to get transfered out yesterday and we were told

> that we were waiting on a bed. They lied they were not looking for a bed

> just waiting for her to die and to pacify me. They treatened me that if I

> took off hospice and moved her that i would owe the bill for the hospital.

> They said IU would not take my mom if we showed up at the emergency with

> her without a

> > doctor. Her hospice neuro said he would not help with a doctor

> replacement because of being accused of a monoply. Is there any one in

> inpls that will help me before they kill her

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

And as far as medical staff is concerned, though you need to be in there

making sure your mom gets the care she needs, try to have a calm, rational

discussion with those involved at each event. Whether you think they

really care or not, approach each discussion as if you really believe they

care and that you are trying to help them in that endeavor. They are as

human as anyone and need to be given a little understanding, too.

Kathy

Kate Knapp

> Freda,

>

> If one of you is your mother's healthcare proxy, legally identified in her

> medical directive/living will, your family needs to get together and

> provide that proxy with a plan for the rest of her life based on some sort

> of agreement - for your mom's sake as well as your own. If there is no such

> document and she is no longer able to make one, someone may need to file

> for guardianship.

> Please don't let that turn into a divisive family battle. What a sad

> thing that would be for your mom, to have her family divided when they most

> need each others support.

> You are at an incredible emotional point in your mom's life. If your

> brother is making decisions, he needs to discuss his reasoning with you and

> you should explain your objections. Or better, talk about possible

> scenarios and try to agree on the best way for handling them as your mom

> would want them handled.

> One of the most difficult things at a time like this, especially if there

> is no medical directive/living will, is to set aside personal biases and

> think only of what she would want, whatever those wishes would be. This is

> a critical time for your family. Please don't let prejudices and things

> said in anger or without full understanding break you apart and leave your

> mom going through what she is enduring with only broken pieces of her

> family for support.

>

> I'm hoping to hear that tensions have eased and you are facing this as a

> united family - for all of your sakes.

>

> Kathy

>

> Kate Knapp

> On Dec 25, 2011 7:51 AM, " rriddle_travel "

> wrote:

>

>> **

>>

>>

>> Freda,

>>

>> Who is your mother's healthcare proxy -- you or your brother? That person

>> should meet with the patient advocate at the hospital for help. I'd also

>> suggest talking with the social worker at the hospital (they are often the

>> discharge planners) to try to become educated on all the things the

>> hospital is saying.

>>

>> You have a right to change hospice organizations. (Though another hospice

>> organization doesn't have an obligation to accept your mother.) And the

>> healthcare proxy has a right to insist on whatever treatment he/she wants

>> for your mother.

>>

>> Is the issue that you and the healthcare proxy do not agree?

>>

>> Robin

>>

>>

>> >

>> > I have been in contact with hospital administrators from community and

>> IU they say if we fire Hospice no one will take my mom and they would not

>> refer her to another neurologist. All this has to be done through

>> physician to physician Hospice said if we took her from the hospital we

>> would owe the entire bill of 21 days since her diagnosis and admittance

>> into the hospital.

>> >

>> >

>> >

>> > ________________________________

>> >

>> > To: " LBDcaregivers " <LBDcaregivers >

>> > Sent: Saturday, December 24, 2011 7:22 AM

>> > Subject: Re: drugs used to treat

>> >

>> >

>> > Â

>> > my brother is a yes man to all the doctors. my mom's condition took a

>> turn for the worst night Hospice was called in and I asked for an IV and

>> they refused. They said that they are going to let nature take its

>> course. My mom developed a sore throat, possible uti and dehydrated and

>> possible shingles. She had been up all day with me eating and drinking

>> and laughing. her mind is in tact. She just kept telling me that she

>> didn't feel right and her throat hurt My mom is fully aware of everything

>> that is going on she just cannot feed herself or walk anymore since the bad

>> drugs. She was supposed to get transfered out yesterday and we were told

>> that we were waiting on a bed. They lied they were not looking for a bed

>> just waiting for her to die and to pacify me. They treatened me that if I

>> took off hospice and moved her that i would owe the bill for the hospital.

>> They said IU would not take my mom if we showed up at the emergency with

>> her without a

>> > doctor. Her hospice neuro said he would not help with a doctor

>> replacement because of being accused of a monoply. Is there any one in

>> inpls that will help me before they kill her

>> >

>> >

>>

>>

>>

>