Guest guest Posted December 17, 2011 Report Share Posted December 17, 2011 When my MIL fell, we were told that 80% of people her age (76) died as a result of hip replacement surgery. 80% go through the surgery and pain and die anyway. I think you made the right decision. We opted for the surgery and she died 3 days later. It's a tough decision to make, but you have to remind yourself that she probably would have suffered a great deal more and not made it anyway. You've done the humane thing by saving her the extra suffering. I've had to make those kind of decisions for my sister and father. It's tough, but you've made it out of love for her. I only hope my children will love me enough to do the same should the situation arrive.  This is a good example of why it's important to have these discussions with our spouses, parents and children while we're healthy enough to think through the situation. My husband and I have discussed this issue in depth and we know what the other wants. There's some relief in that.  C   ________________________________ To: LBDcaregivers Sent: Saturday, December 17, 2011 2:02 PM Subject: Mum had a fall  Hi everyone, On Wednesday Mum had a fall at the NH. I got the call and met her at the ER to find her very distressed. She had cut her head open and required stitches and they were going to X ray her hips and do a Ct on her head. The more we waited the more she became stressed. They took her for the X ray and told me that there was nothing wrong, we were then to wait our turn for the CT but she was so stressed by this time I told them to forget about it and just stitch her head. Five stitches later I put her in the car and drove her back to the NH. She was exhausted. The next day I received another call to say the we're sending her back to have another X Ray done on her hips as she couldn't weight bare on her leg. So off I go again to find her stressed and a back log in the ER. Eventually we are sent for a Ct scan and they found that her hip is fractured. I then made the biggest decision in my life and chose not to consent to the hip operation to be told by the Dr " You realize she will probably get pneumonia and die " to which I replied " yes. " . Deep in my heart I know it is the right decision but now reality is setting in and I know the end is getting nearer. Mum is now in a fallout chair during the day and is very stressed about not being able to come home to my place on Saturdays and Christmas day. We had to fight with the NH to get Mum the chair as they don't have enough. " Boy you have to hat good old Lewy!!! " Cheers Cheryl daughter of Jean(80) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 17, 2011 Report Share Posted December 17, 2011 cheryl, so sorry to hear of your mom's fall i think you probably made the right decision. it seems when they fall, it is getting near the end, with a fracture and all. it's my biggest worry with my wife Kay (LBD, age 59). my mom (passed in 2008) had altzymeires ( spelling ?) the last 3 years of her life. she fell at the facility and my brother had the hip surgery done. she never walked again because people with demetia can't physically rehab. they can't remember what they were told to do 10 min ago, so she never could walk. this can be a very tough time of the year for people, even without dealing with LBD, etc. i wish you all the best and may God get you thru this tough time.   gary Subject: Mum had a fall To: LBDcaregivers Date: Saturday, December 17, 2011, 11:02 AM  Hi everyone, On Wednesday Mum had a fall at the NH. I got the call and met her at the ER to find her very distressed. She had cut her head open and required stitches and they were going to X ray her hips and do a Ct on her head. The more we waited the more she became stressed. They took her for the X ray and told me that there was nothing wrong, we were then to wait our turn for the CT but she was so stressed by this time I told them to forget about it and just stitch her head. Five stitches later I put her in the car and drove her back to the NH. She was exhausted. The next day I received another call to say the we're sending her back to have another X Ray done on her hips as she couldn't weight bare on her leg. So off I go again to find her stressed and a back log in the ER. Eventually we are sent for a Ct scan and they found that her hip is fractured. I then made the biggest decision in my life and chose not to consent to the hip operation to be told by the Dr " You realize she will probably get pneumonia and die " to which I replied " yes. " . Deep in my heart I know it is the right decision but now reality is setting in and I know the end is getting nearer. Mum is now in a fallout chair during the day and is very stressed about not being able to come home to my place on Saturdays and Christmas day. We had to fight with the NH to get Mum the chair as they don't have enough. " Boy you have to hat good old Lewy!!! " Cheers Cheryl daughter of Jean(80) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 17, 2011 Report Share Posted December 17, 2011 Dear Cheryl, Good luck with everything that you have going on. I understand not wanting to put your Mom through surgery. Is there no way you can bring her to you for Christmas? Hugs from NY, Helene (Mom 77) > > Hi everyone, > > On Wednesday Mum had a fall at the NH. I got the call and met her at the ER to find her very distressed. She had cut her head open and required stitches and they were going to X ray her hips and do a Ct on her head. The more we waited the more she became stressed. They took her for the X ray and told me that there was nothing wrong, we were then to wait our turn for the CT but she was so stressed by this time I told them to forget about it and just stitch her head. Five stitches later I put her in the car and drove her back to the NH. She was exhausted. The next day I received another call to say the we're sending her back to have another X Ray done on her hips as she couldn't weight bare on her leg. So off I go again to find her stressed and a back log in the ER. Eventually we are sent for a Ct scan and they found that her hip is fractured. I then made the biggest decision in my life and chose not to consent to the hip operation to be told by the Dr " You realize she will probably get pneumonia and die " to which I replied " yes. " . Deep in my heart I know it is the right decision but now reality is setting in and I know the end is getting nearer. Mum is now in a fallout chair during the day and is very stressed about not being able to come home to my place on Saturdays and Christmas day. We had to fight with the NH to get Mum the chair as they don't have enough. " Boy you have to hat good old Lewy!!! " > > Cheers > > Cheryl daughter of Jean(80) > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 17, 2011 Report Share Posted December 17, 2011 My saying I live by, especially when caring for my dad is: We are only responsible for the effort, not the result. I did the best I could do with the knowledge I had, all lead by my heart. That's really all any of us can do. I wasn't at the NH when my dad passed away so I don't think I was meant to be there. I was up through many nights with him, comforted him, held his hand, fed him, shaved him, and many more caregiver responsibilities. Through it all I loved him and kept loving him 'til the end. Please find peace in caregiving. As long as there is life, there is hope, and there is love through it all. Many hugs- Sandie Des Moines, IA dad, Merle, passed from LBD 9-20-02, age 65 ----- Mum had a fall Hi everyone, On Wednesday Mum had a fall at the NH. I got the call and met her at the ER to find her very distressed. She had cut her head open and required stitches and they were going to X ray her hips and do a Ct on her head. The more we waited the more she became stressed. They took her for the X ray and told me that there was nothing wrong, we were then to wait our turn for the CT but she was so stressed by this time I told them to forget about it and just stitch her head. Five stitches later I put her in the car and drove her back to the NH. She was exhausted. The next day I received another call to say the we're sending her back to have another X Ray done on her hips as she couldn't weight bare on her leg. So off I go again to find her stressed and a back log in the ER. Eventually we are sent for a Ct scan and they found that her hip is fractured. I then made the biggest decision in my life and chose not to consent to the hip operation to be told by the Dr " You realize she will probably get pneumonia and die " to which I replied " yes. " . Deep in my heart I know it is the right decision but now reality is setting in and I know the end is getting nearer. Mum is now in a fallout chair during the day and is very stressed about not being able to come home to my place on Saturdays and Christmas day. We had to fight with the NH to get Mum the chair as they don't have enough. " Boy you have to hat good old Lewy!!! " Cheers Cheryl daughter of Jean(80) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 17, 2011 Report Share Posted December 17, 2011 Hi Judy- Ahhh, thank you. I remember one very heart breaking situation with my dad. He saw himself in the mirror at the NH. He stopped, grabbed the vanity and the best he could get out he yelled... " WHY ME!!!???!! " That tore at my heart. I mustered up a... " I don't know why you dad, and I don't know why me, but we are in this together, 'til the end. " Still pulls at the heart strings all these years later. Yup, lots of politics going on around here. Phone calls, TV adds, Iowa sets the pace for the rest of the Nation. Take care Judy. Thank you for sending the shout out. Gave me a smile tonight. Iowa hugs to ya!! SandieDes Moines ----- Mum had a fall > > Hi everyone, > > On Wednesday Mum had a fall at the NH. I got the call and met her at the ER to find her very distressed. She had cut her head open and required stitches and they were going to X ray her hips and do a Ct on her head. The more we waited the more she became stressed. They took her for the X ray and told me that there was nothing wrong, we were then to wait our turn for the CT but she was so stressed by this time I told them to forget about it and just stitch her head. Five stitches later I put her in the car and drove her back to the NH. She was exhausted. The next day I received another call to say the we're sending her back to have another X Ray done on her hips as she couldn't weight bare on her leg. So off I go again to find her stressed and a back log in the ER. Eventually we are sent for a Ct scan and they found that her hip is fractured. I then made the biggest decision in my life and chose not to consent to the hip operation to be told by the Dr " > You realize she will probably get pneumonia and die " to which I replied " yes. " . Deep in my heart I know it is the right decision but now reality is setting in and I know the end is getting nearer. Mum is now in a fallout chair during the day and is very stressed about not being able to come home to my place on Saturdays and Christmas day. We had to fight with the NH to get Mum the chair as they don't have enough. " Boy you have to hat good old Lewy!!! " > > Cheers > > Cheryl daughter of Jean(80) > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 18, 2011 Report Share Posted December 18, 2011 Cheryl, it was only this morning I came across this article and video regarding dementia patients in the UK this morning. You may find it interesting too: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-16212696 Tania. > > Hi everyone, > > On Wednesday Mum had a fall at the NH. I got the call and met her at the ER to find her very distressed. She had cut her head open and required stitches and they were going to X ray her hips and do a Ct on her head. The more we waited the more she became stressed. They took her for the X ray and told me that there was nothing wrong, we were then to wait our turn for the CT but she was so stressed by this time I told them to forget about it and just stitch her head. Five stitches later I put her in the car and drove her back to the NH. She was exhausted. The next day I received another call to say the we're sending her back to have another X Ray done on her hips as she couldn't weight bare on her leg. So off I go again to find her stressed and a back log in the ER. Eventually we are sent for a Ct scan and they found that her hip is fractured. I then made the biggest decision in my life and chose not to consent to the hip operation to be told by the Dr " You realize she will probably get pneumonia and die " to which I replied " yes. " . Deep in my heart I know it is the right decision but now reality is setting in and I know the end is getting nearer. Mum is now in a fallout chair during the day and is very stressed about not being able to come home to my place on Saturdays and Christmas day. We had to fight with the NH to get Mum the chair as they don't have enough. " Boy you have to hat good old Lewy!!! " > > Cheers > > Cheryl daughter of Jean(80) > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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