Re: food

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

>

> My husband works in

> the city for 3 days, stays overnight, the other 4 days he is off at

> home. He cooks, but I usually hate being asked " what do you want for

> supper? " because I just don't know.

Just say: " surprise me! "

The 3 days he's not here, I

> typically subsist on canned foods, frozen dinners or if it can all fit

> on one cooking sheet (like fish and chips), I'll do that.

Or you could ask him to cook enough so there'll be leftovers for the days

when he's not home. That way, all you have to do is put some food on a plate

and nuke it.

> I

> absolutely abhor being in the kitchen with other women, especially

> since the others seem to know exactly what to do and I feel so at odds

> with the setting and don't know what to do unless told to (which my mom

> was always happy to do), while at the same time the male members of the

> family sat in the livingroom feeling no obligation to help out.

A lot of that type of double standard is still going on, unfortunately. As

to being in the kitchen with other women, that can get to me, too. It's just

too many people.

What I

> do now at family gatherings is clean off the table in the dining room

> where there's less chatter and noise and nobody to bump into...but as a

> teenager/20 something, I totally refused to have anything to do with

> any of it. It wasn't just that I was naturally at odds in the kitchen,

> I hated having things expected of me based on what gender I am.

I agree that guys should be expected to help, too. They eat, they should at

least help clean up afterwards.

D.

[Guest guest]

a wrote:

>I gotta ask though, because I'm curious...how many of us are addicted

>to nicotine (or on prescriptions that also decrease appetite)?

I used to smoke. Quit in 1980.

>Stress also decreases appetite. I find having odd shifts at work

>changes my relationship to food as well. I mean I DO love food, and

>I'm usually good with trying new things and I love variety. But it's

>easy to get in a rut...

The rut is what works for me. I eat the same things almost all the

time. When I eat something different, it's almost always because

(the one friend I see frequently) and I go out for breakfast.

We almost always go to the same place (a few times a year), and I

always order the same thing. A few other times a year, I go out for

dinner with either or anther friend. That's as much variety as

I need, I guess. If I had to think about " what do you want to eat? " I

might have a food problem, too. I know what I should buy at the

grocery store, because it's always the same stuff, and I know what

I'm going to eat at very meal. Works for me.

>Also, how many of us women autistics (especially) grew up expected to

>help out in the kitchen (My family growing up was 2/3's female)? Did

>it become almost a like a mission for any of you (I can't seem to word

>what I'm trying to ask right) to avoid it and did it so well that

>people finally give up?

I've never been expected to cook. When I was a child, my sisters and

I were expected to take turns doing the dinner dishes.

Jane

[Guest guest]

> I've never been expected to cook. When I was a child, my sisters and

> I were expected to take turns doing the dinner dishes.

>

> Jane

In our house, before my sisters moved (8 & 10 years older than me), the

thing for them was to all be in the kitchen at once with my mom. And

it was a VERY small kitchen, actually it's still the same kitchen, same

house. They made it into their little social event, and continues to

be that way to this day. It's when it's family gatherings occur and

there's too much going on that I hate the expectations the most, and

it's not ever coming from my sisters or my mom.

When my sisters moved out after marrying, I prepared most of whatever

it was my mother told me to when I phoned her at work after school, and

then dried the dishes every night. Before her and dad came home, I was

alone in the kitchen with clear directions about what to do. And

afterwards during clean-up, I didn't mind it just being with my mom.

What I meant was...I did not feel like other girls, did not have the

same interests, and hated the expectation to be LIKE them in every way.

Mostly these expectations came from outside of the family, or at least

they no longer try and make me into them. Within family, it was my dad

who had the most expectations when I was young to join my mother and

sisters in the kitchen, and if I went there, it was awkward. The

females in the family seemed to understand this.

a

[Guest guest]

a wrote:

>>Also, how many of us women autistics (especially) grew up expected to

help out in the kitchen (My family growing up was 2/3's female)?

My mother never expected me to cook and never taught me. When I went to live

with my Dad and stepMom, I would help prepare food, but never was required

to cook any of it. I did help washing up after, though.

>> While I

really hate preparing food and being in the kitchen anyway, I

absolutely abhor being in the kitchen with other women, especially

since the others seem to know exactly what to do and I feel so at odds

with the setting and don't know what to do unless told to (which my mom

was always happy to do), <snip>

I wrote about this in WFAP and I call it the " kitchen ritual " . I avoid being

in the kitchen with other women as much as I can. I am never sure what to do

and feel stupid that everyone else does. If I can find an excuse to be

somewhere else, I do.

I don't mind cooking for my family. If I can get into a routine, like having

meals at specific times, I have no problem. I am a very simple cook, though.

No complicated, gourmet recipes for me. Spaghetti, lasagne, hamburgers,

casseroles, etc. are what I am capable of cooking.

Take care,

Gail :-)

[Guest guest]

If only all this " ease of preparation " you describe applied to me!!!

I cannot open a can, microwave it.

I cannot eat a sliced meat slapped on bread, etc etc

Those tinned foods make my head fuzzy. They have nitrates, citric acid,

nitrites, sulfates, sulfites....

need I go on?

Anything preserved in an way is a big big NO!

I have to eat the closest to raw in preparation as humanly possible or I

slur my words, at best.

Have a three day stabbing nauseating, light insensitive head pain for three

days, at worst.

I cannot have aged foods such as hard cheeses or red wines...It stands to

reason that the preservative citric acid does my head in like a bruised

melon.

Its made from fermenting pineapples, which is in the process, an aging

process, thus anyone prone to migraine will be sensitive to that

preservative.

NOT the citric acid such as fresh fruit, that's different.

If a food or so called food has a list of ingredients a half inch or God

forbid an inch or longer! Then forget it. Even some bottled waters and half

and half are a bog NO for me. I havent had soda for many yrs. Diet anything

is a no because of the onslaught of chemicals that does my head in. Think I

seem autistic " normally? " Put me in terrible pain and on the wrong foods.

If only...........................................

I could pop things in microwaves. I have dishes two feet high every day

because I MUST eat real food and avoid chemicals.

I always imagine giant hypodermic needles at the factories injecting the

food.

(Having a bad day)

(just found out I have M.S. on top of my cognitive problems)

>

>

>

> -----Original Message-----

> >From: De Carlo <ardecarlo@... <ardecarlo%40gmail.com>>

> >

> >What about peaches, then? They've always got a little bit of fuzz growing

> on

> >them

>

> Good catch! But you can always peel the skin.

>

> D.

>

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>

[Guest guest]

wrote:

>(just found out I have M.S. on top of my cognitive problems)

I'm very sorry you have that to deal with in your life. :-( As

usual, the somewhat silvery lining is: Now you know. Maybe that will

help, over time. I hope so, anyway.

Jane

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

> If only all this " ease of preparation " you describe applied to me!!!

> I cannot open a can, microwave it.

> I cannot eat a sliced meat slapped on bread, etc etc

> Those tinned foods make my head fuzzy. They have nitrates, citric acid,

> nitrites, sulfates, sulfites....

> need I go on?

> Anything preserved in an way is a big big NO!

> I have to eat the closest to raw in preparation as humanly possible or I

> slur my words, at best.

> Have a three day stabbing nauseating, light insensitive head pain for

> three

> days, at worst.

> I cannot have aged foods such as hard cheeses or red wines...It stands to

> reason that the preservative citric acid does my head in like a bruised

> melon.

> Its made from fermenting pineapples, which is in the process, an aging

> process, thus anyone prone to migraine will be sensitive to that

> preservative.

> NOT the citric acid such as fresh fruit, that's different.

> If a food or so called food has a list of ingredients a half inch or God

> forbid an inch or longer! Then forget it. Even some bottled waters and

> half

> and half are a bog NO for me. I havent had soda for many yrs. Diet

> anything

> is a no because of the onslaught of chemicals that does my head in. Think

> I

> seem autistic " normally? " Put me in terrible pain and on the wrong foods.

You seem to be hyper-sensitive to modern, processed foods. This makes it

very hard nowadays to get any kind of good nutrition that's not too

expensive. Yes, some bottled waters now have artificial flavors and

sweeteners added. I avoid those, also. When I want water I want pure H2O.

> If only...........................................

> I could pop things in microwaves. I have dishes two feet high every day

> because I MUST eat real food and avoid chemicals.

You must be pretty healthy, aside from your allergies. You also probably

have to eat frequently.

D.

[Guest guest]

I'm anemic.

And people get offended when I am at their house and I request water. As in:

" You can have that at home! "

precisely!

I try. And I don't consider my self healthy. If I gnosh a little and don't

get a reaction, I decide its a safe food and its my staple all week or month

and I overeat on it.

Nothing's out of a box here. At times, I almost feel a bit jealous when

people have easy prepare foods or just " go out to eat " or " order in " without

concern.

With me, restaurants are trial and error.

Strangely, I prefer the MSG reaction if I had to choose from all of them. It

only makes me tongue tied, sleepy, and 'buzzy' and not able to follow a

train of thought or respond to people.

So sometimes I give in to a barbecued potato chip.

Not often.

> K

>

>