Breathe in, Breathe out... don't scream!

April 14, 2008

Nada is trying to move in with me again.

I 'did that' for a year in 99... NEVER again. She only remembers

it " as the best of times " - that was the year I first saw a

therapist who told me to divorce her.

She's crying a lot about how she misses us (me and son) - even

though SHE moved 3 hours away in Oct after living off my step dad

(her 2nd ex husband) for 6 years - to be near the ocean. I told her

I was moving in 60-90 days (I've lived in same house for 7+ years,

neighborhood took a dive last year, moving across town - nothing

big - same schools, etc). Her first words were, " FABULOUS - does it

have a Mother in Law SUITE cause I could come and move in " . I held

the phone away from my ear and tried not to scream. " No, mom, it

doesn't. The HOA is strict so it's just us. " Cry, cry, curse,

accuse, cry...

Then she went on and on about how lonely she is where she is. I

said that is unfortunate and what were her plans to meet people.

She told me all that she couldn't do. I said, " well, I'm sorry

you're hurting. I want nothing more for you than for you to be

happy but I can't be supportive to self-destruction " (amen to L my

therapist!!!). She cried harder, " I CAN'T DO THIS RIGHT NOW. WHY

DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO MEAN? T (my son) IS MY ONLY REASON FOR

HAPPINESS AND YOU WON'T LET HIM COME AND BE HERE " . Me, " I will not

allow my son to be your sole reason for living. That's too much

responsibility for an 11 year old. You need to find that happiness

in you and your actions " . Cry, Cry, Cry... " Mom, do you want me to

let you go now? Sounds like you need time to think " ... Cry, Cry,

Cry, " Yes, I CAN'T DO THIS RIGHT NOW " . Me, " Ok, well I'm very busy

all week so I don't know when I can talk again. I love you, you can

do this but I can't do it for you. " And I hung up...

Then I went and threw up...

The end...

Til next time.

At least I sat some boundaries... but it has to get easier, doesn't

it????????????? (Insert pitiful.............)

Lynnette

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