Re: Phone (was: Am I the only one who hates Christmas?)

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

>I hate the *bleepin'* phone. I unplug it when my common-law hubbie

> isn't home. For one thing, I have sensitive ears. Sometimes with

> certain people conversations can actually be interesting,

Some people talk so loud it feels like they're piercing your eardrums.

but most

> people call using small talk to initiate the whole process, and that

> just makes me extremely antsy, impatient and at a loss for words,

> especially when I'm at home and I'm in no mood for putting on some

> " act "

I know exactly what you mean.

> (unlike when I'm at a job - I consider the whole " act " part of

> the job in most cases.

Same here. In retail you have to be friendly.

> At the moment I work alone and rarely have to

> talk to anyone which is the way I like it.)

This would be ideal for me.

>

> And Xmas interrupts my routines and it stresses me out every year. My

> family is Anglican, and I've been atheist since forever, so it means

> nothing in the religious sense. I like getting together with family

> and giving gifts too - I make them too in the form of beeswax candles -

> but I hate the commercialism of it, the hustle and bustle and people's

> expectations of things.

Yes, everybody running around in a frenzy, overspending, overdecorating,

wearing those hideous sweaters, santa hats or rein deer antlers. Good grief!

If grown adults in Germany walked around like that, people would doubt their

sanity. Or those ornament earrings, LOL.

Some people still mail me xmas cards, but most

> have learned I don't do the same and stopped, because 1) I think it's a

> waste of time, money and trees,

I agree, so I only send out cards to people who are truly important to me. I

don't want to alienate everybody.

and 2) only really organized people

> think to do such things! And I'm so not organized when it comes to

> things outside of routine. Things like that take me forever and screw

> up my whole day.

I've learned to vary my routine, I've had to, ever since I've started

working outside of the home. So this doesn't upset me, but I'd rather be

doing something else.

D.

[Guest guest]

> Some people still mail me xmas cards, but most

> > have learned I don't do the same and stopped, because 1) I think

> it's a

> > waste of time, money and trees,

>

> I agree, so I only send out cards to people who are truly important

> to me. I

> don't want to alienate everybody.

Yes, for truly important people. I should have said I don't mail cards

like my mom does to everybody she knows, even those she hasn't seen in

decades and are not what I'd call " close " . I place christmas cards on

the gifts I give important people to, hand deliver them. It means they

get their card later than if by mail, but these folks do get them, lol.

This year I had to buy three bulk boxes of cards for my customers (I

deliver newspapers via car between 2-6 am over 100 km of rural area),

and I had just the right amount left over for family/friends. But in

making up the cards for my customers, it took me a day and a half,

because I also felt it important to type up a letter for all of them

introducing myself (they had the same carrier for 4 years until I came

along in early November) and telling them what I considered important

things for them to know about delivery, including those things that

might hinder it, such as storms (I'm in eastern Canada!) and trucking

delays. I do things like that, things that others probably wouldn't,

even though I'm supposed to be " impaired " communication wise. Now all

my customers call me instead of the newspaper itself (or I call them if

it's impossible to get to their mailbox - my route is made up of about

70% dirt roads that don't get plowed when it snows) when they have to

stop or re-start or let me know that they are fine with a paper being a

day late if the weather conditions are dangerous or difficult to

navigate with just a Corolla! I don't mind customers calling because I

have a different kind of relationship with them, in that there's no

question about where I stand with them, that I work for them under

well-defined conditions.

>

> and 2) only really organized people

> > think to do such things! And I'm so not organized when it comes to

> > things outside of routine. Things like that take me forever and

> screw

> > up my whole day.

>

> I've learned to vary my routine, I've had to, ever since I've started

> working outside of the home. So this doesn't upset me, but I'd rather

> be

> doing something else.

I do and can vary it, but I find Xmas time screws my routine totally

upside down with or without dealing with just cards. Besides not

thinking much of cards, I very often just don't think of it until it's

too late, or I think of it at times when I can't do anything about it,

such as when I'm working. I intend to mail a few cards to certain

people, and then before I know it, their cards have come to my house a

week before Xmas and I figure it's too late for me to send them one by

then. As I make candles for gifts, this is something that changes my

whole routine (I usually only make them at Xmas time and for

birthdays), but I fit them in, and usually do in a short space of time

within two weeks of Xmas, but this year I was way behind due to my new

sleep schedule which has screwed me up in oh-so-many ways. If there's

one thing I don't like, it's the hours, but I realize that there's no

better time to do it. It means fighting sleep a lot at the wheel, and

that I definitely don't like about it. With Xmas especially it means

I'm expected to be at places during the daylight hours when normally I

would be sleeping (also, most everyone I know well lives 2 hours away -

we moved from the city to the country 3 years ago, so we have to get

started on the road before everyone else, which just adds to screwing

up my frazzled schedule, lol). There's been many more days than usual

that I don't get enough sleep lately, due to Xmas, and that pretty much

makes me quite messed up and disorganized. When it's only one day here

and there that takes me out of routine or I miss a little sleep, as it

is during the rest of the year, it's not too bad. Also, it doesn't

help that I'm a perfectionist, so every damn thing I decide to do has

to be just SO! In other words, I'm SLOW at everything I do, lol

a

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

>

> Yes, for truly important people. I should have said I don't mail cards

> like my mom does to everybody she knows, even those she hasn't seen in

> decades and are not what I'd call " close " . I place christmas cards on

> the gifts I give important people to, hand deliver them. It means they

> get their card later than if by mail, but these folks do get them, lol.

At least those people know that they're truly important to you and you don't

consider them just casual acquaintances. This reminds me of how soon and

easily Americans will call someone a 'friend', even if they really just

acquaintances. In Germany, we don't call someone friend unless we've known

them well for years and like them a lot. Or the word 'love', which is used

far too casually here. <sigh>

> This year I had to buy three bulk boxes of cards for my customers (I

> deliver newspapers via car between 2-6 am over 100 km of rural area),

> and I had just the right amount left over for family/friends.

Is it mandatory that the carrier give xmess cards to every customer. I

always get one, too, every year from whoever is the carrier and I was

wondering about that. Seems like a waste of money to me.

But in

> making up the cards for my customers, it took me a day and a half,

> because I also felt it important to type up a letter for all of them

> introducing myself (they had the same carrier for 4 years until I came

> along in early November) and telling them what I considered important

> things for them to know about delivery, including those things that

> might hinder it, such as storms (I'm in eastern Canada!) and trucking

> delays. I do things like that, things that others probably wouldn't,

> even though I'm supposed to be " impaired " communication wise. Now all

> my customers call me instead of the newspaper itself (or I call them if

> it's impossible to get to their mailbox - my route is made up of about

> 70% dirt roads that don't get plowed when it snows) when they have to

> stop or re-start or let me know that they are fine with a paper being a

> day late if the weather conditions are dangerous or difficult to

> navigate with just a Corolla! I don't mind customers calling because I

> have a different kind of relationship with them, in that there's no

> question about where I stand with them, that I work for them under

> well-defined conditions.

I don't envy you; what a tough job.

> I do and can vary it, but I find Xmas time screws my routine totally

> upside down with or without dealing with just cards. Besides not

> thinking much of cards, I very often just don't think of it until it's

> too late, or I think of it at times when I can't do anything about it,

> such as when I'm working. I intend to mail a few cards to certain

> people, and then before I know it, their cards have come to my house a

> week before Xmas and I figure it's too late for me to send them one by

> then.

No, it's not. Better late than never.

As I make candles for gifts, this is something that changes my

> whole routine (I usually only make them at Xmas time and for

> birthdays), but I fit them in, and usually do in a short space of time

> within two weeks of Xmas, but this year I was way behind due to my new

> sleep schedule which has screwed me up in oh-so-many ways.

I can imagine.

If there's

> one thing I don't like, it's the hours, but I realize that there's no

> better time to do it. It means fighting sleep a lot at the wheel, and

> that I definitely don't like about it. With Xmas especially it means

> I'm expected to be at places during the daylight hours when normally I

> would be sleeping (also, most everyone I know well lives 2 hours away -

> we moved from the city to the country 3 years ago, so we have to get

> started on the road before everyone else, which just adds to screwing

> up my frazzled schedule, lol).

I don't think I could put up with this for long. Have you considered finding

other work?

There's been many more days than usual

> that I don't get enough sleep lately, due to Xmas, and that pretty much

> makes me quite messed up and disorganized. When it's only one day here

> and there that takes me out of routine or I miss a little sleep, as it

> is during the rest of the year, it's not too bad. Also, it doesn't

> help that I'm a perfectionist, so every damn thing I decide to do has

> to be just SO! In other words, I'm SLOW at everything I do, lol

Sounds familiar!

D.

[Guest guest]

Christmas used to be part of my end-of-year

routine when I had a family with growing

children.

The Spring and Summer was a time of going places

and doing things, a good opportunity to look for

an unusual item to give as a Christmas gift (my

theory is if the item is unusual or clever, then

the recipient won't notice it doesn't cost very

much).

When school started, I knew it was time to buy

supplies to make Christmas gifts. All gifts were

to be made and acquired by Thanksgiving.

From Thanksgiving to Christmas, I had each week

designated with a certain activity for Christmas:

setting up the artificial tree, decorating the

house, wrapping the packages, mailing certain

packages so they will arrive before Christmas,

baking, going to the malls to look at the

decorations (never to buy after Thanksgiving),

drive around to look at people's lighted

Christmas displays.

The week after New Year's the after-Christmas

crowds had thinned out so I could re-enter the

stores to look for bargains for next Christmas'

presents.

I did it the same way every year. I planned my

year the way some people plan their day.

My children are grown and live in different

states now. I live alone so the decorating and

baking is no longer necessary. At this point in

my life, Christmas is an interruption of my

routine; rather than a part of my routine.

This year I put out a few Christmas figurines

about Dec 15. I put them away on Dec 23. I

psyched myself to visit friends on Christmas Eve

and planned to withdraw on Christmas Day. That

plan was dashed when the friends invited me back

on Christmas Day (they're " safe " and enjoyable to

be with) so I had my day of sensory degaussing on

the 26th.

I am glad Christmas is over. (Although I just

started reading " Hogfather, " by Terry Pratchett.)

~Bonnie

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

> ----- Original Message -----

>

> >

> > Yes, for truly important people. I should have said I don't mail

> cards

> > like my mom does to everybody she knows, even those she hasn't seen

> in

> > decades and are not what I'd call " close " . I place christmas cards

> on

> > the gifts I give important people to, hand deliver them. It means

> they

> > get their card later than if by mail, but these folks do get them,

> lol.

>

> At least those people know that they're truly important to you and

> you don't

> consider them just casual acquaintances. This reminds me of how soon

> and

> easily Americans will call someone a 'friend', even if they really

> just

> acquaintances. In Germany, we don't call someone friend unless we've

> known

> them well for years and like them a lot. Or the word 'love', which is

> used

> far too casually here. <sigh>

I agree. I'm happy with my small circle of friends. I only care for

the company of people I've never had to hide myself from (diamond

finds).

>

> > This year I had to buy three bulk boxes of cards for my customers (I

> > deliver newspapers via car between 2-6 am over 100 km of rural

> area),

> > and I had just the right amount left over for family/friends.

>

> Is it mandatory that the carrier give xmess cards to every customer. I

> always get one, too, every year from whoever is the carrier and I was

> wondering about that. Seems like a waste of money to me.

>

No, it's not mandatory, it's up to the carrier, but it's a good idea if

you want to get some Christmas tips! I made profit, plus got I got

gift certificates, cookies and tons of chocolates that, if it was only

me, would still be here next Xmas!

> But in

> > making up the cards for my customers, it took me a day and a half,

> > because I also felt it important to type up a letter for all of them

> > introducing myself (they had the same carrier for 4 years until I

> came

> > along in early November) and telling them what I considered

> important

> > things for them to know about delivery, including those things that

> > might hinder it, such as storms (I'm in eastern Canada!) and

> trucking

> > delays. I do things like that, things that others probably wouldn't,

> > even though I'm supposed to be " impaired " communication wise. Now

> all

> > my customers call me instead of the newspaper itself (or I call

> them if

> > it's impossible to get to their mailbox - my route is made up of

> about

> > 70% dirt roads that don't get plowed when it snows) when they have

> to

> > stop or re-start or let me know that they are fine with a paper

> being a

> > day late if the weather conditions are dangerous or difficult to

> > navigate with just a Corolla! I don't mind customers calling

> because I

> > have a different kind of relationship with them, in that there's no

> > question about where I stand with them, that I work for them under

> > well-defined conditions.

>

> I don't envy you; what a tough job.

It's got it's good and bad. Well, yeah, mostly bad, lol. Jobs aren't

easy to come by around these parts, and I live with what I got for

now...could be worse. Physically, I'm limited, mostly due to my

back/neck issues, and for the first time in a long while I haven't been

in constant pain. I was doing Web design for 5 years (off and on for

pay), but it aggravates my neck more than anything I've slowly

discovered/admitted, and I finally decided to break away from it for

the most part until I can save up for a laptop and give that a try.

>

> > I do and can vary it, but I find Xmas time screws my routine totally

> > upside down with or without dealing with just cards. Besides not

> > thinking much of cards, I very often just don't think of it until

> it's

> > too late, or I think of it at times when I can't do anything about

> it,

> > such as when I'm working. I intend to mail a few cards to certain

> > people, and then before I know it, their cards have come to my

> house a

> > week before Xmas and I figure it's too late for me to send them one

> by

> > then.

>

> No, it's not. Better late than never.

You're right. However, I do hand deliver them by Dec 23-25, that I

always get that right ;-)

>

> If there's

> > one thing I don't like, it's the hours, but I realize that there's

> no

> > better time to do it. It means fighting sleep a lot at the wheel,

> and

> > that I definitely don't like about it. With Xmas especially it means

> > I'm expected to be at places during the daylight hours when

> normally I

> > would be sleeping (also, most everyone I know well lives 2 hours

> away -

> > we moved from the city to the country 3 years ago, so we have to get

> > started on the road before everyone else, which just adds to

> screwing

> > up my frazzled schedule, lol).

>

> I don't think I could put up with this for long. Have you considered

> finding

> other work?

>

Other work is always considered, but again, I'm limited physically.

Although there aren't a lot of jobs in this area, in time something

comes along I can go for (temporary jobs usually, just came from one

before this latest 'permanent' one). The postmaster at our local post

office is getting me the paperwork I need to fill out to get a job with

them, which may mean more driving (and casual office work), but during

the daylight hours and for WAY better money.

The worst thing about my present job is it beats the crap out of my car

and the pay sucks. I'm finding that I'm basically working to keep my

car running, and that's not good at all! It can feel lonely and gets

more monotonous by the day. But it is a job for now and gives me

purpose. I certainly don't want to do it forever, in fact, I'll

probably end it before winter's over, whether I have another job to

replace it or not. I can't take the pot-holes much longer, lol.

Oh yeah...the best aspect of it is seeing nature at night. I see the

same family of deers almost every morning in one area. I get the

feeling they are getting used to me too, because the other night they

were on the road and one of the younger ones didn't even bother to get

off the road, and just slowly walked directly in front of the car as if

it didn't have a care in the world (he appeared as one was guiding me,

like one of Santa's reindeer, lol). I laughed and said " yeah, I know

your butt is cute, but you gotta keep it off the road! " (followed by a

gentle 'beep') And then there's the owl who has followed me for about

1 km (a span containing three customers), and whenever I'd stop to

place the paper in the mailbox, it would fly onto a tree branch just

directly above the car and turn his head almost upside down in an

effort to check me out, lol. I felt so honored :-) Things like that

make it seem worthwhile. I know it's not, but it brightens that

particular day anyway.

> There's been many more days than usual

> > that I don't get enough sleep lately, due to Xmas, and that pretty

> much

> > makes me quite messed up and disorganized. When it's only one day

> here

> > and there that takes me out of routine or I miss a little sleep, as

> it

> > is during the rest of the year, it's not too bad. Also, it doesn't

> > help that I'm a perfectionist, so every damn thing I decide to do

> has

> > to be just SO! In other words, I'm SLOW at everything I do, lol

>

> Sounds familiar!

>

> D.

;-)

a

[Guest guest]

Well, I can't sort out which comments are from a and which are

from Delila... but I have found over the past few years that " doing

Christmas' makes me physically ill. It usually takes a month to

recover. This yar I wrote a few cards and then just stopped. My

husband wrapped most of the presents (mostly for our son and a few

relatives). Just to get ONE box to the post office to send to my

relatives on the other coast took about three days' worth of my

energy. I am not kidding. Do you know how many steps there are in

thinking of a present, going to buy it, getting it home, remembering

I have to mail it, trying to find a box that it will fit in...

forgetting about it... remembering about it... wrapping it, putting

it in the box, getting my son into the car, taking it to the post

office.... forgetting to put my return address on it. .... AAAHHH!

And that was just one box! Anyway, I also have a ton of work to do

and a ton of stuff to do with my new musician job... seems like a lot

of extra music this time of year, too, just what I LIKE but don't

NEED what with the expectations from " family and friends " ... mostly

expectations to come visit and not bring my work along.

Speaking of friends, this will sound so pathetic, but for the people

who have written they have friends they can be themselves with, How

the heck did you accomplish that? Where did you find them? Are there

any in Virginia? I don't think I have ONE person I feel close to,

who is NOT ONLINE other than my 4-year old. I think I do have some

trust and reticence issues and so maybe don't present myself in a way

that would attract anyone. Also, I am working so hard now I have no

time to try to make friends anyway. I have online friends whom I

absolutely cherish, so maybe it's OK to have just online friends for

now. The ones I do have make life worth living from day to day when

the depression gets bad. I am trying to not write too much about

being depressed so I won't drive off even my online buddies... it's

pretty bad, though. I have the book my psychologist suggested by

Seligman and am trying to read a page or two at a time but am so

swamped with work for the next month that I won't get much of a

chance.

Anyway, thanks for reading my rambling post.

Rhonda

> > ----- Original Message -----

> >

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

> Well, I can't sort out which comments are from a and which are

> from Delila... but I have found over the past few years that " doing

> Christmas' makes me physically ill. It usually takes a month to

> recover. This yar I wrote a few cards and then just stopped. My

> husband wrapped most of the presents (mostly for our son and a few

> relatives). Just to get ONE box to the post office to send to my

> relatives on the other coast took about three days' worth of my

> energy. I am not kidding. Do you know how many steps there are in

> thinking of a present, going to buy it, getting it home, remembering

> I have to mail it, trying to find a box that it will fit in...

> forgetting about it... remembering about it... wrapping it, putting

> it in the box, getting my son into the car, taking it to the post

> office.... forgetting to put my return address on it. .... AAAHHH!

Have you explained about your parents about your condition? Maybe you could

make a different type of gift for them, like money, a gift card, concert

tickets or anything else that doesn't require elaborate packing and sending

off.

> Speaking of friends, this will sound so pathetic, but for the people

> who have written they have friends they can be themselves with, How

> the heck did you accomplish that? Where did you find them? Are there

> any in Virginia?

I'm sure they're out there. I'm in VA. Like my son, I too prefer to

socialize on-line.

> I don't think I have ONE person I feel close to,

Same here...

> who is NOT ONLINE other than my 4-year old. I think I do have some

> trust and reticence issues and so maybe don't present myself in a way

> that would attract anyone. Also, I am working so hard now I have no

> time to try to make friends anyway. I have online friends whom I

> absolutely cherish, so maybe it's OK to have just online friends for

> now. The ones I do have make life worth living from day to day when

> the depression gets bad. I am trying to not write too much about

> being depressed so I won't drive off even my online buddies... it's

> pretty bad, though.

I have depression, too.

You sound a lot like me.

D.