Re: Childhood Memories--Or Lack of?

[Guest guest]

Hey Nina,

Me too, I remember a lot with my dad but little with my mom. Reading this

board has helped me and I have posted some of the memories that have come

back to me - mostly of cutting unfortunately.

Before going NC I searched and searched and searched my memory for happy

ones with my mother. When I couldn't find any, knowing that I didn't have a

single happy memory of my mother really helped me stay strong and make a

commitment to myself. Why keep repeating the past? If nothing good had

happened in 28 years, I was pretty sure nothing good ever would!

In the last year or so, I have recovered one happy memory with her and it

REALLY bothers me. She played piano at church and took me with her to

practice one time when she was going to play the organ for the congregation.

I remember being in the chaple at about age 4 and climbing around, getting

a really good look at that organ. I loved instruments and I was so fasinated

by how it resembled a double decker piano. It reminded me of a canopy bed or

a double decker bus.

So, should I count that as one good memory? I CLEARLY remember that she was

playing the organ and leaving me alone.

>

> Drlingirl, when you said you couldn't relate to the book your therapist

> gave

> you because you don't have any early childhood memories, it made me

> wonder,

> is that a common thing for the people here? I almost have complete amnesia

> about my childhood before the age of about 11 except for a very small

> number

> of incidents, some pleasant and some not. I always figured I just had a

> terrible memory, but lately I've been wondering more about why. My husband

> has pointed out that I forget most of the things my mother has said or

> done

> to me as an adult. He remembers tons more of my history with her than I do

> (we've been married 12 years). So, am I cursed with the world's worst

> memory

> or is this another fine coping skill that seems to go along with having a

> BPD in the family?

>

> Nina

>

> From: WTOAdultChildren1 <WTOAdultChildren1%40yahoogroups.com>

>

[mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 <WTOAdultChildren1%40yahoogroups.com>]

> On Behalf Of drlingirl

> Sent: Tuesday, April 15, 2008 5:40 PM

> To: WTOAdultChildren1 <WTOAdultChildren1%40yahoogroups.com>

> Subject: Just checkin in today.......

>

> I haven't posted in a while and wanted to share that after almost 8

> months of NC with my Nada, and after a recent letter from my nada

> wanting me to know she would be in my area and wanted to work this

> out, I went and saw a therapist. I did see someone about 6 weeks

> into NC but sadly she moved. She was the one who told me about BP

> and sent me home with a list of books to read and wished me luck.

> So yesterday I decided to see her replacement and am I so glad I

> did!!! She is a recovering alcoholic and has a BP for a

> mom and a sister......needless to say she can relate!!! She seems

> to have a knack for seeing through the B.S. of an alcoholic and told

> me to continue with the NC and discouraged me from letting my her

> see my children while she was in town. She sent me home with a book

> to read " The Highly Sensitive Person " . She thinks that I might have

> this or be this. So far into the book I am only partly relating to

> it and because I don't have any early childhood memeories its hard

> to tell for sure but, I am open to learning about it.

>

>

[Guest guest]

This is very common for me. I have limited memories. Today I still go into

denial or repression very easily. It's as if my brain does this on auto even

when I don't feel I need to have them repressed. Does anyone experience this?

It's crazy I have difficulty remembering details of conversations etc.

Kelley

To: WTOAdultChildren1@...: nina@...: Tue, 15

Apr 2008 18:27:00 -0400Subject: Childhood Memories--Or Lack

of?

Drlingirl, when you said you couldn't relate to the book your therapist gaveyou

because you don't have any early childhood memories, it made me wonder,is that a

common thing for the people here? I almost have complete amnesiaabout my

childhood before the age of about 11 except for a very small numberof incidents,

some pleasant and some not. I always figured I just had aterrible memory, but

lately I've been wondering more about why. My husbandhas pointed out that I

forget most of the things my mother has said or doneto me as an adult. He

remembers tons more of my history with her than I do(we've been married 12

years). So, am I cursed with the world's worst memoryor is this another fine

coping skill that seems to go along with having aBPD in the family?Nina From:

WTOAdultChildren1 [mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 ] On

Behalf Of drlingirlSent: Tuesday, April 15, 2008 5:40 PMTo:

WTOAdultChildren1@...: Just checkin in

today.......I haven't posted in a while and wanted to share that after almost 8

months of NC with my Nada, and after a recent letter from my nada wanting me to

know she would be in my area and wanted to work this out, I went and saw a

therapist. I did see someone about 6 weeks into NC but sadly she moved. She was

the one who told me about BP and sent me home with a list of books to read and

wished me luck. So yesterday I decided to see her replacement and am I so glad I

did!!! She is a recovering alcoholic and has a BP for a mom and a

sister......needless to say she can relate!!! She seems to have a knack for

seeing through the B.S. of an alcoholic and told me to continue with the NC and

discouraged me from letting my her see my children while she was in town. She

sent me home with a book to read " The Highly Sensitive Person " . She thinks that

I might have this or be this. So far into the book I am only partly relating to

it and because I don't have any early childhood memeories its hard to tell for

sure but, I am open to learning about it. [Non-text portions of this message

have been removed]

_________________________________________________________________

Going green? See the top 12 foods to eat organic.

http://green.msn.com/galleries/photos/photos.aspx?gid=164 & ocid=T003MSN51N1653A

[Guest guest]

i have a severely limited memory from 11 to 18. my little sisters are

like my external hard drive.

bink

> >

> > Drlingirl, when you said you couldn't relate to the book your

therapist

> > gave

> > you because you don't have any early childhood memories, it made me

> > wonder,

> > is that a common thing for the people here? I almost have complete

amnesia

> > about my childhood before the age of about 11 except for a very small

> > number

> > of incidents, some pleasant and some not. I always figured I just

had a

> > terrible memory, but lately I've been wondering more about why. My

husband

> > has pointed out that I forget most of the things my mother has said or

> > done

> > to me as an adult. He remembers tons more of my history with her

than I do

> > (we've been married 12 years). So, am I cursed with the world's worst

> > memory

> > or is this another fine coping skill that seems to go along with

having a

> > BPD in the family?

> >

> > Nina

> >

> > From:

WTOAdultChildren1 <WTOAdultChildren1%40yahoogroups.com>

> >

[mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 <WTOAdultChildren1%40yahoogroups.com>]

> > On Behalf Of drlingirl

> > Sent: Tuesday, April 15, 2008 5:40 PM

> > To:

WTOAdultChildren1 <WTOAdultChildren1%40yahoogroups.com>

> > Subject: Just checkin in today.......

> >

> > I haven't posted in a while and wanted to share that after almost 8

> > months of NC with my Nada, and after a recent letter from my nada

> > wanting me to know she would be in my area and wanted to work this

> > out, I went and saw a therapist. I did see someone about 6 weeks

> > into NC but sadly she moved. She was the one who told me about BP

> > and sent me home with a list of books to read and wished me luck.

> > So yesterday I decided to see her replacement and am I so glad I

> > did!!! She is a recovering alcoholic and has a BP for a

> > mom and a sister......needless to say she can relate!!! She seems

> > to have a knack for seeing through the B.S. of an alcoholic and told

> > me to continue with the NC and discouraged me from letting my her

> > see my children while she was in town. She sent me home with a book

> > to read " The Highly Sensitive Person " . She thinks that I might have

> > this or be this. So far into the book I am only partly relating to

> > it and because I don't have any early childhood memeories its hard

> > to tell for sure but, I am open to learning about it.

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hey Kelley, I'm actual almost the exact opposite. I remember everything. I

can tell you the name of my boss' aunt's son in law who got married last

fall and what his doctor said when he broke his ankle playing soccer. My

memory carefully stores almost every stupid detail - and I'm a little anal

about documentation in case anyone ever accuses me of lying, remembering

something wrong, missing a due date or in any other way tries to change

the truth after the fact.

It gets weirder now. Even though I remember basically everything and I also

can find back up notes and e-mails on everthing (usually down to the date) I

almost NEVER call anyone on it. I pretend I don't remember the name of the

aunt's son in law so that people don't think I'm " paying too much attention "

to them, thereby drawing attention to myself (which I hate in some ways -

love in others, I do public speaking and performing arts every day, and love

it - BUT if someone notices my outfit OR WORSE my eyeliner I withdraw into

my shell and worry about it for days).

So, even though I remember everything I basically pretend I don't remember

ANYTHING to avoid the conflict of saying, " you said you'd get that done by X

day, or I have an e-mail here from you commiting to X. " The few times I have

tried it, I've discovered that people HATE getting CAUGHT lying and it

usually ruins the relationship. I also worry that people will think I'm

stalking them because I remember crap about them. I'm not stalking them,

it's self-defense.

I had a conflict with a woman at work this past summer and got through it by

saying " I don't remember it THAT WAY.' Of course later, I was acused of

having " memory lapses " - my boss has some BPD issues, but I am very very

good at dealing with her and luckily for me she has a new whipping boy since

I got promoted - although I feel bad for the guy. Ha, my boyfriend about

died when I told him about the " memory lapses,' someone may have been having

them but it wasn't me.

Luckily (or unluckily) my memory is getting much worse with age and with

dealing with my past. Still, I keep my notebooks, day timers and electronic

records and well, I don't screw up a whole lot. My experience is that I

really couldn''t afford to screw up or be wrong, being the bad kid in a BPD

family. Again, I didn't really pull out my evidence to show anyone, I just

went over and over it in my own mind.

Kinda sad actually, I mean, kids should be allowed to make mistakes and

learn from them.

girlscout

>

> This is very common for me. I have limited memories. Today I still go into

> denial or repression very easily. It's as if my brain does this on auto even

> when I don't feel I need to have them repressed. Does anyone experience

> this? It's crazy I have difficulty remembering details of conversations etc.

>

> Kelley

>

>

> To: WTOAdultChildren1@...: nina@...:

> Tue, 15 Apr 2008 18:27:00 -0400Subject: Childhood

> Memories--Or Lack of?

>

>

>

>

> Drlingirl, when you said you couldn't relate to the book your therapist

> gaveyou because you don't have any early childhood memories, it made me

> wonder,is that a common thing for the people here? I almost have complete

> amnesiaabout my childhood before the age of about 11 except for a very small

> numberof incidents, some pleasant and some not. I always figured I just had

> aterrible memory, but lately I've been wondering more about why. My

> husbandhas pointed out that I forget most of the things my mother has said

> or doneto me as an adult. He remembers tons more of my history with her than

> I do(we've been married 12 years). So, am I cursed with the world's worst

> memoryor is this another fine coping skill that seems to go along with

> having aBPD in the family?Nina From: WTOAdultChildren1

> [mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 ] On Behalf Of drlingirlSent:

> Tuesday, April 15, 2008 5:40 PMTo: WTOAdultChildren1@...:

> Just checkin in today.......I haven't posted in a while

> and wanted to share that after almost 8 months of NC with my Nada, and after

> a recent letter from my nada wanting me to know she would be in my area and

> wanted to work this out, I went and saw a therapist. I did see someone about

> 6 weeks into NC but sadly she moved. She was the one who told me about BP

> and sent me home with a list of books to read and wished me luck. So

> yesterday I decided to see her replacement and am I so glad I did!!! She is

> a recovering alcoholic and has a BP for a mom and a sister......needless to

> say she can relate!!! She seems to have a knack for seeing through the B.S.

> of an alcoholic and told me to continue with the NC and discouraged me from

> letting my her see my children while she was in town. She sent me home with

> a book to read " The Highly Sensitive Person " . She thinks that I might have

> this or be this. So far into the book I am only partly relating to it and

> because I don't have any early childhood memeories its hard to tell for sure

> but, I am open to learning about it. [Non-text portions of this message have

> been removed]

>

>

>

>

>

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Going green? See the top 12 foods to eat organic.

>

> http://green.msn.com/galleries/photos/photos.aspx?gid=164 & ocid=T003MSN51N1653A

>

>

[Guest guest]

It's funny how memory can be affected so differently, hey?

I find I can remember some very finite details about Mum's past, like names of

her boyfriends

(when I was 4), where they worked. Then I have huge patches of oblivion sort of

dabbled with

photographs or big events. When I think about being a kind, it sort of seems

like some hazy

vortex which is too hard to sift through - so I don't really bother.

Now, I'm the most vague and forgetful person I know. I seem to have little

regard for my own

belongings; leave stuff anywhere and everywhere. Forget to return phonecalls,

turn things

off. I've never felt so understimulated, either. Could this be symptomatic of

the

consequences of dealing with BPD behaviour and grief (Mum passed away two years

ago.)?

I've always been forgetful, but this is ridiculous.

[Guest guest]

This topic has come up before here......I don't remember much at all

about my childhood and have, like many, tried to remember the good

in my nada......its not there. I tend to remember the bad though,

which is weird.

My sister on the other hand has many memories......although she has

a wild imagination and tends to make sh*t up as she goes. I do not

trust her with any of my memories at all!!! She too is BP and loves

to tell tall tales.

Interesting topic and one that I haven't delve into with a

professional yet......scary!!!

drlingirl

>

> Drlingirl, when you said you couldn't relate to the book your

therapist gave

> you because you don't have any early childhood memories, it made

me wonder,

> is that a common thing for the people here? I almost have complete

amnesia

> about my childhood before the age of about 11 except for a very

small number

> of incidents, some pleasant and some not. I always figured I just

had a

> terrible memory, but lately I've been wondering more about why. My

husband

> has pointed out that I forget most of the things my mother has

said or done

> to me as an adult. He remembers tons more of my history with her

than I do

> (we've been married 12 years). So, am I cursed with the world's

worst memory

> or is this another fine coping skill that seems to go along with

having a

> BPD in the family?

>

>

>

> Nina

>

>

>

>

>

> From: WTOAdultChildren1

> [mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 ] On Behalf Of drlingirl

> Sent: Tuesday, April 15, 2008 5:40 PM

> To: WTOAdultChildren1

> Subject: Just checkin in today.......

>

>

>

> I haven't posted in a while and wanted to share that after almost

8

> months of NC with my Nada, and after a recent letter from my nada

> wanting me to know she would be in my area and wanted to work this

> out, I went and saw a therapist. I did see someone about 6 weeks

> into NC but sadly she moved. She was the one who told me about BP

> and sent me home with a list of books to read and wished me luck.

> So yesterday I decided to see her replacement and am I so glad I

> did!!! She is a recovering alcoholic and has a BP for a

> mom and a sister......needless to say she can relate!!! She seems

> to have a knack for seeing through the B.S. of an alcoholic and

told

> me to continue with the NC and discouraged me from letting my her

> see my children while she was in town. She sent me home with a

book

> to read " The Highly Sensitive Person " . She thinks that I might

have

> this or be this. So far into the book I am only partly relating to

> it and because I don't have any early childhood memeories its hard

> to tell for sure but, I am open to learning about it.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

girlscout that is strange. I too seem to have a great memory about certain

things (like my tasks to do, things I've read in books, things related to the

present or recent past). When it is something from my childhood however I can't

remember alot of those things.

Kelley

To: WTOAdultChildren1@...: girlscout.cowboy@...: Tue,

15 Apr 2008 21:28:44 -0600Subject: Re: Childhood

Memories--Or Lack of?

Hey Kelley, I'm actual almost the exact opposite. I remember everything. Ican

tell you the name of my boss' aunt's son in law who got married lastfall and

what his doctor said when he broke his ankle playing soccer. Mymemory carefully

stores almost every stupid detail - and I'm a little analabout documentation in

case anyone ever accuses me of lying, rememberingsomething wrong, missing a due

date or in any other way tries to changethe truth after the fact.It gets weirder

now. Even though I remember basically everything and I alsocan find back up

notes and e-mails on everthing (usually down to the date) Ialmost NEVER call

anyone on it. I pretend I don't remember the name of theaunt's son in law so

that people don't think I'm " paying too much attention " to them, thereby drawing

attention to myself (which I hate in some ways -love in others, I do public

speaking and performing arts every day, and loveit - BUT if someone notices my

outfit OR WORSE my eyeliner I withdraw intomy shell and worry about it for

days).So, even though I remember everything I basically pretend I don't

rememberANYTHING to avoid the conflict of saying, " you said you'd get that done

by Xday, or I have an e-mail here from you commiting to X. " The few times I

havetried it, I've discovered that people HATE getting CAUGHT lying and

itusually ruins the relationship. I also worry that people will think

I'mstalking them because I remember crap about them. I'm not stalking them,it's

self-defense.I had a conflict with a woman at work this past summer and got

through it bysaying " I don't remember it THAT WAY.' Of course later, I was

acused ofhaving " memory lapses " - my boss has some BPD issues, but I am very

verygood at dealing with her and luckily for me she has a new whipping boy

sinceI got promoted - although I feel bad for the guy. Ha, my boyfriend

aboutdied when I told him about the " memory lapses,' someone may have been

havingthem but it wasn't me.Luckily (or unluckily) my memory is getting much

worse with age and withdealing with my past. Still, I keep my notebooks, day

timers and electronicrecords and well, I don't screw up a whole lot. My

experience is that Ireally couldn''t afford to screw up or be wrong, being the

bad kid in a BPDfamily. Again, I didn't really pull out my evidence to show

anyone, I justwent over and over it in my own mind.Kinda sad actually, I mean,

kids should be allowed to make mistakes andlearn from them.girlscoutOn Tue, Apr

15, 2008 at 5:55 PM, kelley ward wrote:>> This is very

common for me. I have limited memories. Today I still go into> denial or

repression very easily. It's as if my brain does this on auto even> when I don't

feel I need to have them repressed. Does anyone experience> this? It's crazy I

have difficulty remembering details of conversations etc.>> Kelley>>> To:

WTOAdultChildren1@...: nina@...:> Tue, 15 Apr

2008 18:27:00 -0400Subject: Childhood> Memories--Or Lack

of?>>>>> Drlingirl, when you said you couldn't relate to the book your

therapist> gaveyou because you don't have any early childhood memories, it made

me> wonder,is that a common thing for the people here? I almost have complete>

amnesiaabout my childhood before the age of about 11 except for a very small>

numberof incidents, some pleasant and some not. I always figured I just had>

aterrible memory, but lately I've been wondering more about why. My> husbandhas

pointed out that I forget most of the things my mother has said> or doneto me as

an adult. He remembers tons more of my history with her than> I do(we've been

married 12 years). So, am I cursed with the world's worst> memoryor is this

another fine coping skill that seems to go along with> having aBPD in the

family?Nina From: WTOAdultChildren1 >

[mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 ] On Behalf Of drlingirlSent:> Tuesday,

April 15, 2008 5:40 PMTo: WTOAdultChildren1@...:>

Just checkin in today.......I haven't posted in a while> and

wanted to share that after almost 8 months of NC with my Nada, and after> a

recent letter from my nada wanting me to know she would be in my area and>

wanted to work this out, I went and saw a therapist. I did see someone about> 6

weeks into NC but sadly she moved. She was the one who told me about BP> and

sent me home with a list of books to read and wished me luck. So> yesterday I

decided to see her replacement and am I so glad I did!!! She is> a recovering

alcoholic and has a BP for a mom and a sister......needless to> say she can

relate!!! She seems to have a knack for seeing through the B.S.> of an alcoholic

and told me to continue with the NC and discouraged me from> letting my her see

my children while she was in town. She sent me home with> a book to read " The

Highly Sensitive Person " . She thinks that I might have> this or be this. So far

into the book I am only partly relating to it and> because I don't have any

early childhood memeories its hard to tell for sure> but, I am open to learning

about it. [Non-text portions of this message have> been removed]>>>>>>>

__________________________________________________________> Going green? See the

top 12 foods to eat organic.>>

http://green.msn.com/galleries/photos/photos.aspx?gid=164 & ocid=T003MSN51N1653A>>

[Guest guest]

I'm the opposite too: I remember everyone's birthdays, phone

numbers, and license plates. However, I do tend to forget details

of conversations, which is kind of strange.

>

>

> This is very common for me. I have limited memories. Today I still

go into denial or repression very easily. It's as if my brain does

this on auto even when I don't feel I need to have them repressed.

Does anyone experience this? It's crazy I have difficulty

remembering details of conversations etc.

>

> Kelley

>

>

> To: WTOAdultChildren1@...: nina@...: Tue, 15 Apr 2008 18:27:00 -

0400Subject: Childhood Memories--Or Lack of?

>

>

>

>

> Drlingirl, when you said you couldn't relate to the book your

therapist gaveyou because you don't have any early childhood

memories, it made me wonder,is that a common thing for the people

here? I almost have complete amnesiaabout my childhood before the

age of about 11 except for a very small numberof incidents, some

pleasant and some not. I always figured I just had aterrible memory,

but lately I've been wondering more about why. My husbandhas pointed

out that I forget most of the things my mother has said or doneto me

as an adult. He remembers tons more of my history with her than I do

(we've been married 12 years). So, am I cursed with the world's

worst memoryor is this another fine coping skill that seems to go

along with having aBPD in the family?Nina From:

WTOAdultChildren1

[mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 ] On Behalf Of

drlingirlSent: Tuesday, April 15, 2008 5:40 PMTo:

WTOAdultChildren1@...: Just checkin in

today.......I haven't posted in a while and wanted to share that

after almost 8 months of NC with my Nada, and after a recent letter

from my nada wanting me to know she would be in my area and wanted

to work this out, I went and saw a therapist. I did see someone

about 6 weeks into NC but sadly she moved. She was the one who told

me about BP and sent me home with a list of books to read and wished

me luck. So yesterday I decided to see her replacement and am I so

glad I did!!! She is a recovering alcoholic and has a BP for a mom

and a sister......needless to say she can relate!!! She seems to

have a knack for seeing through the B.S. of an alcoholic and told me

to continue with the NC and discouraged me from letting my her see

my children while she was in town. She sent me home with a book to

read " The Highly Sensitive Person " . She thinks that I might have

this or be this. So far into the book I am only partly relating to

it and because I don't have any early childhood memeories its hard

to tell for sure but, I am open to learning about it. [Non-text

portions of this message have been removed]

>

>

>

>

>

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Going green? See the top 12 foods to eat organic.

> http://green.msn.com/galleries/photos/photos.aspx?

gid=164 & ocid=T003MSN51N1653A

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hey Guys,

A couple of interesting thoughts on memory:

1) I read in one of the BPD books that people's memories sort of

" disconnect " when they are in midst of intense emotion as part of the fight

or flight response. Basically, what happens is there is a part of your brain

that is in charge of memory, intense emotion shuts this part of the brain

off. Constant emotion actually SHRINKS this part of the brain. So, what it

comes down to is that BPD's basically cause themselves BRAIN DAMAGE by not

controling their emotional reaction to things. I thought this was amazing

when I read it.

I'm sure that being exposed to the BDP's emotion on a daily basis could harm

this memory part of the brain in a child. The good news is that the brain is

an amazing organ and while most brain damage can't be reversed, you can

create new pathways in your brain to cover for other deficits.

3) Abbie, I'm wondering if your worsened memory loss could be a symptom of

greif? I've heard of that, too. I can also understand how now that your nada

is gone, your life isn't as exciting. That's a good thing though, more time

and space to make the life that you want.

xoxox, girlscout

>

>

> girlscout that is strange. I too seem to have a great memory about certain

> things (like my tasks to do, things I've read in books, things related to

> the present or recent past). When it is something from my childhood however

> I can't remember alot of those things.

>

> Kelley

>

>

> To: WTOAdultChildren1@...: girlscout.cowboy@...:

> Tue, 15 Apr 2008 21:28:44 -0600Subject: Re: Childhood

> Memories--Or Lack of?

>

>

>

>

> Hey Kelley, I'm actual almost the exact opposite. I remember everything.

> Ican tell you the name of my boss' aunt's son in law who got married

> lastfall and what his doctor said when he broke his ankle playing soccer.

> Mymemory carefully stores almost every stupid detail - and I'm a little

> analabout documentation in case anyone ever accuses me of lying,

> rememberingsomething wrong, missing a due date or in any other way tries to

> changethe truth after the fact.It gets weirder now. Even though I remember

> basically everything and I alsocan find back up notes and e-mails on

> everthing (usually down to the date) Ialmost NEVER call anyone on it. I

> pretend I don't remember the name of theaunt's son in law so that people

> don't think I'm " paying too much attention " to them, thereby drawing

> attention to myself (which I hate in some ways -love in others, I do public

> speaking and performing arts every day, and loveit - BUT if someone notices

> my outfit OR WORSE my eyeliner I withdraw intomy shell and worry about it

> for days).So, even though I remember everything I basically pretend I don't

> rememberANYTHING to avoid the conflict of saying, " you said you'd get that

> done by Xday, or I have an e-mail here from you commiting to X. " The few

> times I havetried it, I've discovered that people HATE getting CAUGHT lying

> and itusually ruins the relationship. I also worry that people will think

> I'mstalking them because I remember crap about them. I'm not stalking

> them,it's self-defense.I had a conflict with a woman at work this past

> summer and got through it bysaying " I don't remember it THAT WAY.' Of course

> later, I was acused ofhaving " memory lapses " - my boss has some BPD issues,

> but I am very verygood at dealing with her and luckily for me she has a new

> whipping boy sinceI got promoted - although I feel bad for the guy. Ha, my

> boyfriend aboutdied when I told him about the " memory lapses,' someone may

> have been havingthem but it wasn't me.Luckily (or unluckily) my memory is

> getting much worse with age and withdealing with my past. Still, I keep my

> notebooks, day timers and electronicrecords and well, I don't screw up a

> whole lot. My experience is that Ireally couldn''t afford to screw up or be

> wrong, being the bad kid in a BPDfamily. Again, I didn't really pull out my

> evidence to show anyone, I justwent over and over it in my own mind.Kinda

> sad actually, I mean, kids should be allowed to make mistakes andlearn from

> them.girlscoutOn Tue, Apr 15, 2008 at 5:55 PM, kelley ward <

> kelleyward@...> wrote:>> This is very common for me. I have

> limited memories. Today I still go into> denial or repression very easily.

> It's as if my brain does this on auto even> when I don't feel I need to have

> them repressed. Does anyone experience> this? It's crazy I have difficulty

> remembering details of conversations etc.>> Kelley>>> To:

> WTOAdultChildren1@...: nina@...:> Tue,

> 15 Apr 2008 18:27:00 -0400Subject: Childhood>

> Memories--Or Lack of?>>>>> Drlingirl, when you said you couldn't relate to

> the book your therapist> gaveyou because you don't have any early childhood

> memories, it made me> wonder,is that a common thing for the people here? I

> almost have complete> amnesiaabout my childhood before the age of about 11

> except for a very small> numberof incidents, some pleasant and some not. I

> always figured I just had> aterrible memory, but lately I've been wondering

> more about why. My> husbandhas pointed out that I forget most of the things

> my mother has said> or doneto me as an adult. He remembers tons more of my

> history with her than> I do(we've been married 12 years). So, am I cursed

> with the world's worst> memoryor is this another fine coping skill that

> seems to go along with> having aBPD in the family?Nina From:

> WTOAdultChildren1 > [mailto:

> WTOAdultChildren1 ] On Behalf Of drlingirlSent:> Tuesday,

> April 15, 2008 5:40 PMTo: WTOAdultChildren1@...:>

> Just checkin in today.......I haven't posted in a while>

> and wanted to share that after almost 8 months of NC with my Nada, and

> after> a recent letter from my nada wanting me to know she would be in my

> area and> wanted to work this out, I went and saw a therapist. I did see

> someone about> 6 weeks into NC but sadly she moved. She was the one who told

> me about BP> and sent me home with a list of books to read and wished me

> luck. So> yesterday I decided to see her replacement and am I so glad I

> did!!! She is> a recovering alcoholic and has a BP for a mom and a

> sister......needless to> say she can relate!!! She seems to have a knack for

> seeing through the B.S.> of an alcoholic and told me to continue with the NC

> and discouraged me from> letting my her see my children while she was in

> town. She sent me home with> a book to read " The Highly Sensitive Person " .

> She thinks that I might have> this or be this. So far into the book I am

> only partly relating to it and> because I don't have any early childhood

> memeories its hard to tell for sure> but, I am open to learning about it.

> [Non-text portions of this message have> been removed]>>>>>>>

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