Re: Hearing

[Guest guest]

I have this *all* *the* *time*.

As a child, when I said things based on the fact that I heard this way

& thought everyone else did too

(e.g., " Why don't people stop after their words so that you can hear

the words in your head after the noise finishes? " or " I can't

understand the math teacher because her chalk squeaks on the

blackboard and doesn't let me put her words together " ),

they called me a liar and sick and crazy for making up some " strange

stories. " They punished me many times, for these and other occasions

where I correctly reported my sensory experiences. To escape

punishment (on some occasions, to escape threats of dismemberment and

death), I had to actually lie and pretend that I really didn't

experience these things. In order to get them to stop calling me a

liar, I had to start lying.

I went through a lot of psychiatrists before I found one who could

understand this. Even the one who understood could not (he admitted)

help me untangle all the problems that having to lie, for sheer

survival (in the name of " telling the truth " ) had caused for me.

Kate Gladstone

[Guest guest]

Gail wrote:

>Sometimes when people talk to me I don't " hear " what they say right away.

Yes. I often have this happen if someone says something to me in

passing. Usually I hear only noise at the time. The noise may resolve

into words in my head a short time later, but by then it's too late.

I bet you won't be surprised to hear that the problem is especially

bad in Persian class. Quite often I miss all of what the instructor

says to someone else. There are just a couple (two or three,

depending) of us students in this summer class. When the instructor

is aiming a question at me, I struggle to hear and comprehend the

" noise, " usually getting part of it right and part of it wrong. When

he aims at someone else, I find it extremely hard to keep up the same

level of struggle/work. I always need a rest break after my own Q & A

turn. It's not good to " tune out " (stop straining), though, because

what he has said to another student, and what she has said in return,

may form the basis of what he asks me next. Very easy to get lost;

almost impossible *not* to get lost, in fact.

Jane

[Guest guest]

I experience something similar, where it takes me a few moments to process and

understand what someone has said. I'll hear it clearly, but it'll be a second or

two before I can fully understand and react to what they've said. It's been the

source of some annoyance, both to myself, and to others, since I would usually

nod, and go " uh-huh " before responding, and the other person would sometimes be

left feeling as though I only was only half-heartedly listening at best. It gets

at it's worst when I'm in very busy settings, or settings where there are lots

of external noises, since it is extremely difficult for me to seperate out

conversations from the other noises.

" The truth is, I never fooled anyone about who I really am. People did a good

enough job of that on their own. They would create a character of me in their

minds, and be thoroughly disappointed when I failed to live up to that. " -

Marilyn Monroe

Debogorski

elcap1999@...

Hearing

I have meant to ask this before, but since it happened again today, decided

to do it now.

Sometimes when people talk to me I don't " hear " what they say right away.

Sometimes I might hear one word, or nothing. All I hear is noise. Today my

husband and I were talking and at one point all I heard was,

" ......noise. ......... ...... ......noise. ......... ... " . I waited a

few

seconds and then I heard in my head, " This is a lousy time for to be

visiting, we are so busy! "

Then I commented that he had no way of knowing that work would get so busy

when he made plans for her to come out here. When this happens I cannot

respond right away and sometimes I worry that the lag time will take too

long before I am able to respond.

Anyone else experience anything like this?

Take care,

Gail :-)

[Guest guest]

Gail Pennington wrote:

>

>

> I have meant to ask this before, but since it happened again today, decided

> to do it now.

>

> Sometimes when people talk to me I don't " hear " what they say right away.

> Sometimes I might hear one word, or nothing. All I hear is noise. Today my

> husband and I were talking and at one point all I heard was,

> " ......noise......................noise............. " . I waited a

> few

> seconds and then I heard in my head, " This is a lousy time for

> to be

> visiting, we are so busy! "

>

> Then I commented that he had no way of knowing that work would get so busy

> when he made plans for her to come out here. When this happens I cannot

> respond right away and sometimes I worry that the lag time will take too

> long before I am able to respond.

>

> Anyone else experience anything like this?

Oh, god, only all the time when I'm under stress. It's especially bad

with one person, my soon-to-be-ex-roommate, who is a pathologically

extroverted ADHDer. She will talk just to hear the sound of her own

voice, and then get mad when I didn't follow everything she said. Even

though she knows that I have hearing loss, and can't hear her if

anything else is making noise in the room - like, for example, when the

sink is running. She just doesn't remember that I can't hear her, and

then she gets mad at me.

There are reasons she's about to be an ex-roommate.

Griff

--

Don't believe everything you think.

[Guest guest]

> Sometimes when people talk to me I don't " hear " what they say right

> away.

> Sometimes I might hear one word, or nothing. All I hear is noise.

Yes. There are several situations where hearing what is said is

difficult. And yes, I often hear what was said long after it's of any

use.

People who expect me to look them in the eye while they talk: can't

hear a word they say. I can look someone in the eyes while I'm

talking, but to concentrate on what another is saying I'm much better

off looking away from their distracting face. Even then it's

difficult, and if the person is one who likes to " go on and on " without

a breath, I am lost almost instantly. The noise you speak of, I guess

that's the best way to put it. My ears can only take so much in at a

time.

Have been to several training sessions for a government job this year.

Every class they have each of us read from the manuals out loud. It's

somehow supposed to make learning easier, and maybe it is for NT's but

many others thought it was a waste of time as well. When I have to

read out loud (especially instructive manuals), the words don't

connect. I'm reading by rote. If I read to myself, it's an entirely

different matter. Then I can " see " what's being said. If another

reads out loud, it's no better. I just end up noticing

mispronunciations and the like. If I want to catch anything of what's

being said, I read along as the other is speaking. But still the whole

vocalization of it all causes me to miss a lot.

Do you find though, that if the subject is something that interests you

highly (a perseveration), that it's easier to hear what is being said?

For example, a documentary or tv show that discusses said interest? I

find that makes for a big difference. Because the subject fits into my

wavelength, so to speak...

Quite often, people will talk to me (such as my husband) when I'm

concentrating on something else. It's difficult to " change gears " .

Maybe to them it doesn't look like I'm concentrating on anything, but

my mind never stops. For example, if I'm watching tv with my husband

and the commercials come on, he'll sometimes make a comment that's made

about the commercial. Myself, as soon as commercials come on, I go

straight into my own head and while it might look like I'm watching the

tv, I'm not at all (and a good amount of the time, I'm not watching the

actual tv show either). When he speaks, it's like " huh? " And then,

yes, I realize what he said and that it had to do with a stupid

commercial.

Besides the " noise " , often when I DO think I've heard something

correctly, I'm told that I haven't. As a child in elementary school, I

got a " non-satisfactory " mark (which was the worst mark you could get)

for listening and following instructions.

a

[Guest guest]

a wrote:

>Do you find though, that if the subject is something that interests you

>highly (a perseveration), that it's easier to hear what is being said?

Doesn't even always have to be a perseveration. ;-) The other day

at work, my co-worker T had come into my office and was talking to

me. I was doing my best listening, though as usual her talking seemed

to contain more words and sentences than necessary. Suddenly, what I

got instead of the next part of T's sentence was a phrase said by a

woman in the office across the hall. She was talking on the

telephone, I think. At any rate, I had been aware of the sound of her

voice in the background, a blah-blah-blah-blah from which I had to

disentangle T's words. The isolated phrase just sprang out at me,

totally throwing me off from the project of listening to T. T,

however, had not heard it at all.

Now I can't remember the phrase myself, but it was something to do

with a head being hit. No context, just one phrase.

Jane

[Guest guest]

Hi Gail,

YES!! BT,DT!! I BTW think it happens so much to me that I can be a

" walking ad for Verizon!! " (LOL!)

Wanda

" Can you hear me now?? Good. "

http://community.webtv.net/tikigalharkins/LETSTALKASPERGERS

[Guest guest]

> (e.g., " Why don't people stop after their words so that you can

> hear the words in your head after the noise finishes? " or " I can't

> understand the math teacher because her chalk squeaks on the

> blackboard and doesn't let me put her words together " ),

>

My Dad says good public speakers pause every so often to let people

process what they said. NTs can have similar problems, only milder.

Ettina

[Guest guest]

I sometimes have that with languages other than english, but usually

in english I either hear it right away or not at all.

Ettina

> >Sometimes when people talk to me I don't " hear " what they say

right away.

>

> Yes. I often have this happen if someone says something to me in

> passing. Usually I hear only noise at the time. The noise may

resolve

> into words in my head a short time later, but by then it's too

late.

>

> I bet you won't be surprised to hear that the problem is

especially

> bad in Persian class. Quite often I miss all of what the

instructor

> says to someone else. There are just a couple (two or three,

> depending) of us students in this summer class. When the

instructor

> is aiming a question at me, I struggle to hear and comprehend the

> " noise, " usually getting part of it right and part of it wrong.

When

> he aims at someone else, I find it extremely hard to keep up the

same

> level of struggle/work. I always need a rest break after my own

Q & A

> turn. It's not good to " tune out " (stop straining), though,

because

> what he has said to another student, and what she has said in

return,

> may form the basis of what he asks me next. Very easy to get lost;

> almost impossible *not* to get lost, in fact.

>

> Jane

>

[Guest guest]

a wrote: <>Every class they have each of us read from the

manuals out loud. It's

somehow supposed to make learning easier, and maybe it is for NT's but

many others thought it was a waste of time as well. When I have to

read out loud (especially instructive manuals), the words don't

connect. I'm reading by rote.<>If I read to myself, it's an entirely

different matter. Then I can " see " what's being said. If another

reads out loud, it's no better. I just end up noticing

mispronunciations and the like. If I want to catch anything of what's

being said, I read along as the other is speaking. But still the whole

vocalization of it all causes me to miss a lot.<>

Same for me! In fact, even though I was reading on a 3rd grade level

at age 4 (hyperlexia I think), in first grade (age 6) the teachers

came to my mother and told her that I could not read! We would have

some boring story and everyone would take a turn reading, so I would

read it to myself and then go off somewhere more interesting in my

head. Then when I was called on I had no idea where we were. I

thought reading aloud was a waste of time as I can read to myself

much faster than most people can read out loud. Also, when I read out

loud, same as you, the words don't connect and I mostly can't

remember what I just read. My mom had to do a lot of talking to prove

that I could read! I don't think I was tested formally; they didn't

test way back in the 1960s.

Rhonda

[Guest guest]

Could it be that what the person across the hall was a lot more

interesting? Since it was about " hitting heads. " I do that

sometimes. I am supposed to be talking with whoever is talking to me

but i hear a much more interesting thing being said farther away. I

sometimes actually say something to the person across the hall, which

is probably twice rude, both to the person I am talking with and the

other person who I have just probably interrupted! I am trying to be a

bit better about that but it is not easy, since the other conversation

IS more interesting, at least momentarily!

Rhonda

Suddenly, what I

> got instead of the next part of T's sentence was a phrase said by a

> woman in the office across the hall. She was talking on the

> telephone, I think. At any rate, I had been aware of the sound of

her

> voice in the background, a blah-blah-blah-blah from which I had to

> disentangle T's words. The isolated phrase just sprang out at me,

> totally throwing me off from the project of listening to T. T,

> however, had not heard it at all.

>

> Now I can't remember the phrase myself, but it was something to do

> with a head being hit. No context, just one phrase.

>

> Jane

>

[Guest guest]

>

> This hearing delay used to happen to me a lot when i was younger. I

> eventually learned to and can't hear her if

> anything else is making noise in the room - like, for example, when the

> sink is running. She just doesn't remember that I can't hear her, and

> then she gets mad at me.>>>>>>>>>>

>

This is my ''type'' of hearing loss as well. Doing dishes, I will not hear a

phone ring, let alone speaking voices.

I can lay on the couch with my

'bad ear up' and I only see lips moving on tv, no sound.

What really irritates me, is when you try to politely tell someone, 'I

didn't hear a word,' and then they

repeat what they just said in exactly the same decibel level, without

raising their voice at all. This can go

on several times. I am ready for a hearing aid, just so this particular

problem with people lessens. You

would think they realize to raise their voice. Communication is hard enough.

K