Guest guest Posted November 5, 2006 Report Share Posted November 5, 2006 > > > > Helen and , thank you so much for your kind supportive words. > > I'm just exhausted. And my husband thinks I'm a complete raving > lunatic. That is what hurts the most. I know he thinks I'm crazy. > I'm not crazy, just sick. But when he's so unsupportive and > doeesn't understand it all, it just makes me feel like both he and > my daughter would be better off without me. I feel his contempt and > inpatience so strongly. He thinks I should be cleaning the house > and doing all this stuff I'm not physically able to. He thinks I'm > making all this up and doing strange things to my body that people > tell me to do on the internet. He knows I order my own medicine > without a script, and he doesn't think that's a good idea. When I > feel his contempt so strongly, then I think I'm just taking up space > in the world........taking other people's oxygen? KWIM? > > Amy Hi, Amy, I understand what you're going through. And, IMO, it's time to stop thinking about what your husband thinks. It's time for you to focus ONLY on getting well. Your daughter does need you, and YOU need you! It's not going to be easy. I get that, and I understand how hard it is & how heartbreaking it is that your husband isn't there for you right now. But it's not worth dying over what your husband thinks. Thoughts are just concepts. He has some unsettling concepts. Please don't allow those concepts to make you sicker. It's not an easy task. I'm right there with you. And I finally decided that I didn't want to die for anyone & that I wasn't going to allow my husband's antics to push me to the brink of death due to the stress I took on from his world. An amazing transformation occurred. I realized that I need to live for me. Amy, you know you're ill. We know you're ill. While it hurts our feelings when others don't understand, that is really THEIR problem. Don't prove your husband and the drs wrong by letting go of the fight! That would not be a good way to prove your point. Prove your point by regaining your health. You can do this & you will be strong again, both in mind, body & spirit. Amy, your state of mind sounds familiar to me, and probably to many others here. Sounds like you are very hypo right now. See that for what it is - the lack of thyroid hormone affecting your mental & emotional state. When you are able to increase your Armour, you will find that state lifts eventually, even though it happens little by little as we increase slowly. So, hold out for that time. It will come, and you will be well again. You have an amazing & strong life ahead of you...I can FEEL it in you! Take care! Warmly, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2006 Report Share Posted November 5, 2006 Is this the one you mean? I read this and cried. It hits the nail on the head: http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/2004/11/the_spoon_theory.php >>>I also sent him an article, I will see if I can find the link if you want, " The Spoon Theory " , or something like that, about how much those of us with these conditions can actually do in a day. That helped a lot, and he still asks me if I have any spoons left for him.<<< Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2006 Report Share Posted November 5, 2006 Helen, I think that my dh's problem, and he explained this (sort of) to me the other day, is that for all these years, I was " the rock " (his words). He was the screw-up, and I was the one that always held everything all together. And he can't seem to deal with the fact that I can't do it all anymore (or maybe he doesn't want to finally have to grow up? I guess its all in the interpretation *s*). Of course, I'm still the one that holds it all together, and he is still the screw-off, I just can't handle dealing with it as easily anymore, and get stressed, and exhausted, and other things slide. I can only deal with one crisis at a time now, rather than 2 or 3 at once, and when a crisis is happening, other things don't get done (like bills don't get paid, laundry doesn't get done, errands are forgotten, etc.) Best, http://www.ChestnutHillDesigns.com http://www.CurlyRescue.com ~ The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them. -- Mark Twain, Notebook, 1935 Re: adrenal crisis > > In a message dated 11/5/2006 12:57:36 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, > mives@... writes: > > But he sees me going to doctors, > and reading, and researching, and trying things and knows that I am > TRYING. > > > > I have the same problem with my Dad not understanding the changes in me. > He > is used to me being active, organizing events, working 18 hours a day, > behaving animated and lively, and he got mad at me the other night when I > awoke > with an episode of breathing difficulty. He said, " What IS wrong with > you? " I > told him I have adrenals issues. His reply was he never heard of > anything > like that. If it were HIV, cancer, or something he heard of, he could > accept > it. But thyroid? It can be cured with a pill. And Adrenal, well if I > never heard of it, it does not exist. > > We need to write a book for our families to explain what we are going > through so that they do not take it personally. lol > > Helen > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2006 Report Share Posted November 5, 2006 Yep, that's the one. Best, http://www.ChestnutHillDesigns.com http://www.CurlyRescue.com ~ The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them. -- Mark Twain, Notebook, 1935 Re: adrenal crisis > Is this the one you mean? I read this and cried. It hits the nail on > the head: > http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/2004/11/the_spoon_theory.php > > > >>>>I also sent him an article, I will see if I can find the link if > you want, " The Spoon Theory " , or something like that, about how much > those of us with these conditions can actually do in a day. That > helped a lot, and he still asks me if I have any spoons left for > him.<<< > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2006 Report Share Posted November 5, 2006 > > Helen, I think that my dh's problem, and he explained this (sort of) to me > the other day, is that for all these years, I was " the rock " (his words). > He was the screw-up, and I was the one that always held everything all > together. And he can't seem to deal with the fact that I can't do it all > anymore (or maybe he doesn't want to finally have to grow up? I guess its > all in the interpretation *s*). Of course, I'm still the one that holds it > all together, and he is still the screw-off, I just can't handle dealing > with it as easily anymore, and get stressed, and exhausted, and other things > slide. I can only deal with one crisis at a time now, rather than 2 or 3 at > once, and when a crisis is happening, other things don't get done (like > bills don't get paid, laundry doesn't get done, errands are forgotten, etc.) > > Amen, sister...this is our situation exactly, . But I haven't been able to hold anything together (except that I still have found a way to pay the bills...it's bad enough that we're going into debt because of my illness...I couldn't bear to see the credit report in the crapper too!) My husband has picked up much of the slack - making dinner, doing the groceries, doing the laundry, but still hasn't picked up the slack re: dealing with/relating to the kids. Oh well, poco a poco. But when I was at my worst, he totally broke down & shared his fear. Very rare for him. He's definitely afraid. Then again, so am I. Warmly, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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