How likely is it that I will have BPD too?

[Guest guest]

I'm worried that as a daughter of a BPD I lack the tools to deal with

my frustrations with my husband and my children. My mother used to

rage and scream and yell and hit us.. I have never hit my children, but

I have hit my husband ( shoved him in temper ) and I have screamed and

yelled at my kids. How much of this is lack of a role model as a child

and how much of it could be that I, too, could have BPD? I'm TERRIFIED

that I might end up like her. Absolutely terrified. But I don't know

what is " normal " and what is not normal. I second and third guess my

behaviour sometimes as I honestly don't know what would be a " normal "

response to feeling frustrated with small children who bicker and

squabble all the time etc..... My mother basically told me what to

think and how to feel about things for so many years that it's only

recently I have begun to make my own choices. She told me not to get a

dog !! ( I was married and had my own home at the time... !!) She told

me not to have a second child..... And I took all this in and thought

it was perfectly reasonable of her to say such things to me... after

all, she'd been saying this sort of thing for YEARS. I can look back

now and see how unreasonable she has been, but it is honestly only

recently that I have learned to do this.