Re: Drugs for incontinence

[Guest guest]

Hi nne

It certainly sounds as though we are going through the same experiences ...

and no doubt there are others out there who understand how we feel. At least

you can laugh in retrospect but your fall into the bath must have been

pretty awful, and the last thing you wanted in the middle of the night. I

was really sorry to hear of your difficulties.

Like you, I have thought about lots of options and had to discard them for

pretty well the same reasons you have mentioned. The lack of control when

Jim starts to wee would only result in a wet bed and wet carpet if we were

to try the urinal or the bedside commode, and cleaning all that up in the

middle of the night is the last thing I want to do. I much prefer to clean

the bathroom floor - and this would have to be the cleanest place in the

house right now!! Even when I do get Jim to sit down on the toilet, he

sometimes pulls his penis out and starts weeing over the floor ... again, it

may be funny in retrospect but not at 2.30 am! That's when I really need to

exercise as much restraint as I can, but it doesn't always work. One night

last week, I left him for a couple of seconds to place his wet 'long johns'

in the laundry tub, right next to the bathroom ... but that was just enough

time for him to whip out his penis and to wee everywhere. Before I could

stop myself I called out " Don't! " and the tone must have been rather sharp,

because he said to me " I hate you! " , which is so uncharacteristic of him ...

and I felt mortified. It's not easy trying to step over the wee on the floor

to give someone a cuddle and say " sorry " !

I have discussed the condom catheters with our doctor but he agrees that Jim

would just pull it off. I have already seen that when he was in hospital. We

use Tena pants (super absorbency) and I am thankful that we have qualified

for a government grant of $500 pa for continence aids. Some nights we go

through 5 changes of pants.

I agree that it would be nigh on impossible to train our men to get into

other habits. Jim seems to behave like an automaton and the next day he has

no recollection of all these nocturnal wanderings. When he hears me talking

about it to friends, he says I am making it up and exaggerating.

Thankfully Jim is losing weight and isn't very heavy (about 55 kg, which is

about 120 pounds), though he is still difficult to manage especially as I

have had a frozen shoulder for the past twelve months. At least I have

passed the painful stage of that but the restricted movement makes things

tricky at times.

I'm sorry I don't have any other suggestions at this point. I find that by

trying to think thoughts of 'thankfulness' when I get back into bed seems to

help me get back to sleep. These are usually in the form of a prayer and

help me to keep as positive as possible - such as 'thank you that I have

about two hours of blissful sleep ahead of me'; 'thank you that we made it

there and back without falling over'; 'thank you for helping me to learn

more patience, compassion and understanding through this awful experience';

....

I will certainly let you know if I find out anything else that works.

Elaine (61) from Sydney Australia caring for Jim (82)

Offically diagnosed LBD Oct 2009, but symptoms began at least 5 years

before.