Guest guest Posted December 26, 2006 Report Share Posted December 26, 2006 Hello Delila, Regarding people and humor, it's all in person interpretation of what is humorous. There are never guarantees of never hurting the feelings of another person. Hec, the other day I made an 'elf yourself' ( a christmas prank) of a co-member of a web group I belong to, and he got so enraged that he said he would poke me in the eye with his personal body part when we meet! As strange as that was, I laughed my head off. That kind of reaction was off the scales, but was not threatening so I found humor in it. There is nothing disrespectful, with referring a person to looking up a term or researching something in a receptive tone. Not everyone is receptive to the off key tones that we of the Aspie world sometimes have our challenges with. I often times think that when some folks that are said to be so 'normal' say and react so irrationally or make very awkward statements that can easily be misconstrued. Things we should all try to remember is we are: Human- much to read on this imprefect subject The Golden Rule Love our Neighbors = our fellow man/woman Get some form of religion that allows for all the above and oneself The Ten Commandments are good And if these things bother someone, then I would kindly suggest to; think of the most important thing in your life, and how it was when you last were in that place or frame of mind,or that person maybe. And now suddenly you learn that precious part in your life could be greatly compromised or lost forever. If this thought is ugly, please read the above again. All, including 'myself' can LIGHTEN UP and reevaluate what is most important to us. Life is at best all too short ! Among other thigs I am an avid Genealogist and over the years I can see just how short lives can be. Hate is such a nasty thing, and is too loosely verballized. We must find ways to get happy for more than a moment. Love really can be the answer, if we let it be. I pray for 2007 to have less meaness and killing in this world, and our free country. Bless us all. = my interpretaion, Let us be happy with ourselves. There is a term to look up, the true meaning of, 'Bless'. I have real hope that we of the Autism Spectrum can achieve happy lives oneday soon. Kentucky Understanding Jokes Second try: >> Hello! >> >> I'm not sure if this subject has already been discussed here, but >> on another forum I'm on, someone complained that she hates >> humorless people; people who can't seem to get a joke. I wrote >> back, saying that I'm not at all a humorless person, I like a good >> joke as much as anyone, but I can never tell when someone is 'just >> kidding'. I also wrote that I have Aspergers and asked her to look >> it up on google. To me, when people do this, it usually comes >> across as mean and/or hostile and I react accordingly, which >> greatly offends them, after which they act icily towards me. Or, in >> the same vein, someone will say something to me, and I suspect >> they're joking and they expect me to come back with a specific >> answer, and I never have a clue as to what I'm supposed to be >> saying. So I just look at them, feeling like a deer caught in the >> headlights, as they look at me and it's extremely awkward and >> uncomfortable. How do others deal with situations like this? >> >> >> Delila >> > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 26, 2006 Report Share Posted December 26, 2006 ----- Original Message ----- > > Hec, the other day I made an 'elf yourself' ( a christmas prank) of a > co-member of a web group I belong to, and he got so enraged that he said > he would poke me in the eye with his personal body part when we meet! I've seen that joke and thought it was funny. > All, including 'myself' can LIGHTEN UP and reevaluate what is most > important to us. Generally good advice, but some people are so silly, they seriously need to grow up. D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 26, 2006 Report Share Posted December 26, 2006 I can never tell > when someone is 'just > >> kidding'. *** Neither can I. I will just stand there, confused; or I will respond in a literal way that causes the other person to say it was a joke. People I don't know stare at me. They think I am strange. I think they are strange. It cancels out. People I know explain the humor or otherwise move on. Most of the time my literal response is taken as humor, and everybody laughs. I remember a line from a movie: Leave them laughing. I conclude if everybody laughs, it is all right. Even if I am confused, it is all right. *** *** I suspect > >> they're joking and they expect me to come > back with a specific > >> answer, and I never have a clue as to what > I'm supposed to be > >> saying. *** This happens to me too. I am retired, and I live a distance from any family. This means the only people active in my life are friends I have chosen or strangers that I buy food and supplies from. So the hostility from missing jokes no longer plaques me. When I worked, missing jokes caused awkward moments with my coworkers. When I was self-employed, the clients didn't mind because I provided them with a necessary service. (Ah, it is nice to be needed. People who need you are more patient with you.) *** *** How do others deal with > situations like this? *** The real uncomfortable situations for me came when someone would tell a joke or make a statement that made a somebody a butt of the humor. They would make fun of a coworker; make a joke about an ethnic group, a religious group, or women or even people with disabilities. If people laugh a another's joke, sometimes I can smile and it suffices; but when the joke is derogatory, I cannot feign humor. This angers people. It angers me to. It cancels out. ~Bonnie __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 26, 2006 Report Share Posted December 26, 2006 ----- Original Message ----- > > I will just stand there, confused; or I will > respond in a literal way that causes the other > person to say it was a joke. Yes, and they usually get mad or act insulted. > > People I don't know stare at me. They think I am > strange. I think they are strange. It cancels > out. True, but it's still awkward. > I am retired, and I live a distance from any > family. This means the only people active in my > life are friends I have chosen or strangers that > I buy food and supplies from. So the hostility > from missing jokes no longer plaques me. But why do people tend to get hostile? > The real uncomfortable situations for me came > when someone would tell a joke or make a > statement that made a somebody a butt of the > humor. They would make fun of a coworker; make a > joke about an ethnic group, a religious group, > or women or even people with disabilities. > > If people laugh a another's joke, sometimes I > can smile and it suffices; but when the joke is > derogatory, I cannot feign humor. This angers > people. It angers me to. It cancels out. I wouldn't pretend that this is funny either. So what if it angers them. D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 26, 2006 Report Share Posted December 26, 2006 I get my best laughs when I am actually serious and answering a question literally. The NT's then think I am a really good joke teller because I never break character. > > > ----- Original Message ----- > > > > > I will just stand there, confused; or I will > > respond in a literal way that causes the other > > person to say it was a joke. > > > Yes, and they usually get mad or act insulted. > > > > > > People I don't know stare at me. They think I am > > strange. I think they are strange. It cancels > > out. > > > True, but it's still awkward. > > > > I am retired, and I live a distance from any > > family. This means the only people active in my > > life are friends I have chosen or strangers that > > I buy food and supplies from. So the hostility > > from missing jokes no longer plaques me. > > > But why do people tend to get hostile? > > > > The real uncomfortable situations for me came > > when someone would tell a joke or make a > > statement that made a somebody a butt of the > > humor. They would make fun of a coworker; make a > > joke about an ethnic group, a religious group, > > or women or even people with disabilities. > > > > If people laugh a another's joke, sometimes I > > can smile and it suffices; but when the joke is > > derogatory, I cannot feign humor. This angers > > people. It angers me to. It cancels out. > > > I wouldn't pretend that this is funny either. So what if it angers them. > > > D. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 26, 2006 Report Share Posted December 26, 2006 I can sometimes surprise my self and " understand " a joke theoretically then have no desire to " laugh " but rather to say, " That was funny, wasn't it? " Puns are most fun but when I zing my best ones people don't think its very funny. Who cares anyhow, as being funny or getting a laugh/reaction is not the purpose of punning. Liking them is. K > > I can never tell > > when someone is 'just > > >> kidding'. > *** > Neither can I. > > I will just stand there, confused; or I will > respond in a literal way that causes the other > person to say it was a joke. > > People I don't know stare at me. They think I am > strange. I think they are strange. It cancels > out. > > People I know explain the humor or otherwise > move on. > > Most of the time my literal response is taken as > humor, and everybody laughs. I remember a line > from a movie: Leave them laughing. I conclude if > everybody laughs, it is all right. Even if I am > confused, it is all right. > *** > *** > I suspect > > >> they're joking and they expect me to come > > back with a specific > > >> answer, and I never have a clue as to what > > I'm supposed to be > > >> saying. > *** > This happens to me too. > > I am retired, and I live a distance from any > family. This means the only people active in my > life are friends I have chosen or strangers that > I buy food and supplies from. So the hostility > from missing jokes no longer plaques me. > > When I worked, missing jokes caused awkward > moments with my coworkers. When I was > self-employed, the clients didn't mind because I > provided them with a necessary service. (Ah, it > is nice to be needed. People who need you are > more patient with you.) > *** > *** > How do others deal with > > situations like this? > *** > The real uncomfortable situations for me came > when someone would tell a joke or make a > statement that made a somebody a butt of the > humor. They would make fun of a coworker; make a > joke about an ethnic group, a religious group, > or women or even people with disabilities. > > If people laugh a another's joke, sometimes I > can smile and it suffices; but when the joke is > derogatory, I cannot feign humor. This angers > people. It angers me to. It cancels out. > > ~Bonnie > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2006 Report Share Posted December 27, 2006 That used to really get to me, I'd be busy at something, and I'd get it but preoccupied with what I was doing, I'd say ok that was good. My late father was one to ride me for such because he said I was so odd because the joke was great. I can relate K. Ky Re: Understanding Jokes I can sometimes surprise my self and " understand " a joke theoretically then have no desire to " laugh " but rather to say, " That was funny, wasn't it? " Puns are most fun but when I zing my best ones people don't think its very funny. Who cares anyhow, as being funny or getting a laugh/reaction is not the purpose of punning. Liking them is. K > > I can never tell > > when someone is 'just > > >> kidding'. > *** > Neither can I. > > I will just stand there, confused; or I will > respond in a literal way that causes the other > person to say it was a joke. > > People I don't know stare at me. They think I am > strange. I think they are strange. It cancels > out. > > People I know explain the humor or otherwise > move on. > > Most of the time my literal response is taken as > humor, and everybody laughs. I remember a line > from a movie: Leave them laughing. I conclude if > everybody laughs, it is all right. Even if I am > confused, it is all right. > *** > *** > I suspect > > >> they're joking and they expect me to come > > back with a specific > > >> answer, and I never have a clue as to what > > I'm supposed to be > > >> saying. > *** > This happens to me too. > > I am retired, and I live a distance from any > family. This means the only people active in my > life are friends I have chosen or strangers that > I buy food and supplies from. So the hostility > from missing jokes no longer plaques me. > > When I worked, missing jokes caused awkward > moments with my coworkers. When I was > self-employed, the clients didn't mind because I > provided them with a necessary service. (Ah, it > is nice to be needed. People who need you are > more patient with you.) > *** > *** > How do others deal with > > situations like this? > *** > The real uncomfortable situations for me came > when someone would tell a joke or make a > statement that made a somebody a butt of the > humor. They would make fun of a coworker; make a > joke about an ethnic group, a religious group, > or women or even people with disabilities. > > If people laugh a another's joke, sometimes I > can smile and it suffices; but when the joke is > derogatory, I cannot feign humor. This angers > people. It angers me to. It cancels out. > > ~Bonnie > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2006 Report Share Posted December 27, 2006 > I get my best laughs when I am actually serious and answering a > question literally. The NT's then think I am a really good joke > teller because I never break character. I've gotten this kind of thing once or twice myself. Last year, my landlord sued me for non-payment of rent, which was a new experience for me (I learned a lot about the legal system). They have an entire courthouse set aside just for this, and it's all very much by the numbers. For the first time the renter appears, it goes something like this: " Call [landlord] versus [tenant. " Judge to landlord: What's the amount due? Landlord: blah blah dollars. Judge to tenant: Is that amount correct? If the tenant says yes, the judge gives him a week to pay and dismisses the case; if the tenant disputes the amount due, the judge sends them into the hall to see whether they can resolve the discrepancy on their own before having to have the judge intervene in some way. So my case comes up... " Housing Opportunities Commission versus Parrish S. Knight. " Judge to landlord: What's the amount due? Landlord: $350. Judge to me: Is that amount correct? Me, in true autistic literalist form: No, he forgot about this month's late fee. It's a little more than that. [Parrish looks around in puzzlement as everyone in the courthouse, including the judge, bursts out laughing.] Me: What? He asked whether the amount was correct, and it wasn't. I didn't figure out until much later where the alleged humor came from. I can now sort of understand the humorous aspect of it, but OTOH, I also think the world would be a much easier place to live in if that kind of response -- honesty, without even thinking about lying -- were the rule, rather than the exception that sounds like it belongs in a late-night TV show monologue. --Parrish <o> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2006 Report Share Posted December 27, 2006 ----- Original Message ----- >I get my best laughs when I am actually serious and answering a > question literally. The NT's then think I am a really good joke > teller because I never break character. Yes, they think you're just playing along. That happens to me occasionally, at wich time I realize they were joking, but usually they know I didn't get their comment as a joke and they act offended. D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2006 Report Share Posted December 27, 2006 Delila wrote: (regarding missing the joke, or not getting the joke) > But why do people tend to get hostile? Because just as the " Hi, how are you? " " I'm fine, how are you? " " I'm fine " bit doesn't really mean concern for the other person's well-being but is simply a " ping? pong! " back-and-forth (meaning that person A is saying " Are you dangerous to me? " and person B is making the response that tells person A that B is not dangerous, then asking the same question and waiting for the same answer), not getting the joke is a failure of the ping response. It scares people on a very deep, non-verbalized level because you are not doing what they expected you to do, and people often manifest fear as anger, especially when surprised. Griff -- Don't believe everything you think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2006 Report Share Posted December 27, 2006 ----- Original Message ----- >I can sometimes surprise my self and " understand " a joke theoretically then > have no desire to " laugh " but rather to say, " That was funny, wasn't it? " Sometimes, when people say something, I can tell when they're joking, too, but if it isn't funny to me at all, so I refuse to give them the satisfaction of laughing. If that offends them, so be it. D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2006 Report Share Posted December 27, 2006 ----- Original Message ----- > > > I didn't figure out until much later where the alleged humor came > from. I can now sort of understand the humorous aspect of it, but > OTOH, I also think the world would be a much easier place to live in > if that kind of response -- honesty, without even thinking about > lying -- were the rule, rather than the exception that sounds like it > belongs in a late-night TV show monologue. LOL! So did you have to pay the $ 350 plus late fee or did the judge waive it? D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2006 Report Share Posted December 27, 2006 > So did you have to pay the $ 350 plus late fee or did the judge > waive it? (Heh... even my landlord's attorney was falling apart over at his side of the courtroom.) After everyone had settled down, the judge -- who appeared to be at a loss for words; I assume this was a first for him -- said that he was just going to go with the $350 figure since that was what was on the complaint. Since it was all a standard part of my lease, I had to pay it, which I did about a week later, having finally gotten a job after 18 months of unemployment. I also paid the late fee, which I would have had to do anyway. --Parrish <o> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2006 Report Share Posted December 27, 2006 ----- Original Message ----- > > Because just as the " Hi, how are you? " " I'm fine, how are you? " " I'm > fine " bit doesn't really mean concern for the other person's well-being > but is simply a " ping? pong! " back-and-forth (meaning that person A is > saying " Are you dangerous to me? " and person B is making the response > that tells person A that B is not dangerous, then asking the same > question and waiting for the same answer), I know, but I *hate* that silly game. Makes me want to pull my hair out. Why can't a simple 'hello' suffice? not getting the joke is a > failure of the ping response. It scares people on a very deep, > non-verbalized level because you are not doing what they expected you to > do, and people often manifest fear as anger, especially when surprised. Hmmm..., very strange. I'll keep this in mind the next time someone gets mad at me for not toeing the line, so to speak. Failure to ping... D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2006 Report Share Posted December 27, 2006 > > > ----- Original Message ----- > > > > > Because just as the " Hi, how are you? " " I'm fine, how are you? " " I'm > > fine " bit doesn't really mean concern for the other person's well-being > > but is simply a " ping? pong! " back-and-forth (meaning that person A is > > saying " Are you dangerous to me? " and person B is making the response > > that tells person A that B is not dangerous, then asking the same > > question and waiting for the same answer), > > > I know, but I *hate* that silly game. Makes me want to pull my hair out. Why > can't a simple 'hello' suffice? > > > not getting the joke is a > > failure of the ping response. It scares people on a very deep, > > non-verbalized level because you are not doing what they expected you to > > do, and people often manifest fear as anger, especially when surprised. > > > Hmmm..., very strange. I'll keep this in mind the next time someone gets mad > at me for not toeing the line, so to speak. Failure to ping... > > > D. > Yes I agree. Social interaction is mostly based on feigned concern for anothers welfare. The fact of the mattter is that they are just trying to determine if you are part of the herd. If you wish to put a stop to this then tell them how you are actually doing or feeling, they will avoid you after a few encounters. Also when answering a question literally precipitates laughter just pretend it was intentional and that you have a very dry sense of humor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2006 Report Share Posted December 27, 2006 Ha Ha... LmAo How well put, Ping pong! Yeah! Nail hit on head with absolute accuracy. Salute!! You own this one Adam!! Ky Re: Understanding Jokes > > > ----- Original Message ----- > > > > > Because just as the " Hi, how are you? " " I'm fine, how are you? " " I'm > > fine " bit doesn't really mean concern for the other person's well-being > > but is simply a " ping? pong! " back-and-forth (meaning that person A is > > saying " Are you dangerous to me? " and person B is making the response > > that tells person A that B is not dangerous, then asking the same > > question and waiting for the same answer), > > > I know, but I *hate* that silly game. Makes me want to pull my hair out. Why > can't a simple 'hello' suffice? > > > not getting the joke is a > > failure of the ping response. It scares people on a very deep, > > non-verbalized level because you are not doing what they expected you to > > do, and people often manifest fear as anger, especially when surprised. > > > Hmmm..., very strange. I'll keep this in mind the next time someone gets mad > at me for not toeing the line, so to speak. Failure to ping... > > > D. > Yes I agree. Social interaction is mostly based on feigned concern for anothers welfare. The fact of the mattter is that they are just trying to determine if you are part of the herd. If you wish to put a stop to this then tell them how you are actually doing or feeling, they will avoid you after a few encounters. Also when answering a question literally precipitates laughter just pretend it was intentional and that you have a very dry sense of humor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2006 Report Share Posted December 27, 2006 It's a seasonal promotional freeby from Office Max of an elf figure that dances to an upbeat version of Jingle bells, and the elf is set up for you picture to go where the face is. The elf yourself my still be available. Here is the link. http://www.elfyourself.com/ Re: Understanding Jokes Good message here, . I always aim to keep things like these in mind, and so I am reasonably happy, Asperger's or not. What's an " elf yourself " ? Re: Hec, the other day I made an 'elf yourself' ( a christmas prank) of a co-member of a web group I belong to, and he got so enraged that he said he would poke me in the eye with his personal body part when we meet! __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2006 Report Share Posted December 27, 2006 The way we tell a joke and the sense of humor both have a different taste in every personality. I have checked that some people can laugh instinctively just because they have seen others to laugh hearing a joke. Obviously they hadn't understood the joke. But again it depends on the personality and our own taste I think. For instance my humor was characterized a little bit quaint and quite sarcastic. That was mentioned by many people. There people who can understand the bitter tincture of my humor and others who just can't. Also depending on our mood the time that the joke was told and of course how well can the humor of the other person suits to our taste. There were times that I was dawn in my dumps and the someone's jokes weren't received by me well or in plain words I just was deaf. Sometimes just being alone and withdrawn in my microcosm I have contemplated again the jokes which were told or made and process them then I can just laugh alone or smile from ear to ear. Tita - > > > > I can never tell > > > when someone is 'just > > > >> kidding'. > > *** > > Neither can I. > > > > I will just stand there, confused; or I will > > respond in a literal way that causes the other > > person to say it was a joke. > > > > People I don't know stare at me. They think I am > > strange. I think they are strange. It cancels > > out. > > > > People I know explain the humor or otherwise > > move on. > > > > Most of the time my literal response is taken as > > humor, and everybody laughs. I remember a line > > from a movie: Leave them laughing. I conclude if > > everybody laughs, it is all right. Even if I am > > confused, it is all right. > > *** > > *** > > I suspect > > > >> they're joking and they expect me to come > > > back with a specific > > > >> answer, and I never have a clue as to what > > > I'm supposed to be > > > >> saying. > > *** > > This happens to me too. > > > > I am retired, and I live a distance from any > > family. This means the only people active in my > > life are friends I have chosen or strangers that > > I buy food and supplies from. So the hostility > > from missing jokes no longer plaques me. > > > > When I worked, missing jokes caused awkward > > moments with my coworkers. When I was > > self-employed, the clients didn't mind because I > > provided them with a necessary service. (Ah, it > > is nice to be needed. People who need you are > > more patient with you.) > > *** > > *** > > How do others deal with > > > situations like this? > > *** > > The real uncomfortable situations for me came > > when someone would tell a joke or make a > > statement that made a somebody a butt of the > > humor. They would make fun of a coworker; make a > > joke about an ethnic group, a religious group, > > or women or even people with disabilities. > > > > If people laugh a another's joke, sometimes I > > can smile and it suffices; but when the joke is > > derogatory, I cannot feign humor. This angers > > people. It angers me to. It cancels out. > > > > ~Bonnie > > > > __________________________________________________ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2006 Report Share Posted December 27, 2006 It was 27 Dec 2006, when bolivarcj commented: > I get my best laughs when I am actually serious and answering a > question literally. The NT's then think I am a really good joke > teller because I never break character. And isn't that, after all, how all the best humorists have done that Voodoo they Doo so well? -- <dbsmith at atbbs.dyndns.org> Pegasus Mail is free software, committed to the notion that communication is as basic a right as free speech, since free speech without a medium by which it may be heard is as loud as silence. -- , author, Pegasus Mail <http://www.pmail.com> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 28, 2006 Report Share Posted December 28, 2006 - > LOL! So did you have to pay the $ 350 plus late fee or did the judge waive > > it? > >>> > Interesting topic, especially the part about trying to come to agreement in the hall ; and then going back in. Reminds me of bankruptcy court twelve yrs. ago. But I must ask this. Truthfully, D.- were you REALLY " laughing out loud " when you wrote'' LOL?'' > . > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 29, 2006 Report Share Posted December 29, 2006 ----- Original Message ----- > > > But I must ask this. Truthfully, D.- were you REALLY " laughing out loud " > when you wrote'' LOL?'' In that case I wasn't; just smiling. But there are some things I read on the 'net that do indeed make me LOL! D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.