Am I the only one who hates Christmas?

[Guest guest]

I Hate Christmas Too.

I Hate Christmas Too.

I Hate Christmas Too,

Kate Gladstone

[Guest guest]

Joni wrote:

>People often ask each other this time of year, what are you doing

>for Christmas? Once or twice I blurted out the truth -- same things

>as I always do, except for the things I can't do on account of the

>goshdurned holiday.

Same for me (and I'm also someone who likes/needs my routines). But

fortunately I've been able to reduce the whole Christmas thing down

to a bare minimum -- and somewhat mitigate the effects of the

unavoidable things. I decided to use some of the " extra " (non-work)

time last week, for example, to accomplish a list of chores around

the house, things that don't fit into my usual routines and therefore

don't get done. Making the list of chores and checking them off as I

do them is part of my usual routine, so doing the same with these

" unusual " chores makes me feel more secure. Not so lost-in-time.

It's been years (more than a decade, actually) since I announced " I

don't do Christmas, " so nobody expects (or gets) presents from me.

And since everybody knows I dislike talking on the phone, my family

members use email instead.

Nobody (in the family) expects to have contact with me. Except for my

brother and sister-in-law. They have a tradition of driving into town

to visit all their town friends on Dec. 24. This year, I decided to

take a walk to visit a friend's new kitten. Just happened to work out

that I was away when my brother et al. (they have four sons) dropped

by. They always claim they can't give me any idea of when they'll get

here, so I don't feel bad about missing them. If there's one thing I

hate, it's waiting, especially waiting for something for which there

is no specific start time. The years when I do get the visit, they've

learned not to stay for more than half an hour.

My other variation (of the usual routine) to accommodate Christmas is

that my local friend (the one with the kitten) always picks up some

food on the 24th for us to eat on the 25th when everything is closed.

Not that I go out to eat much, but there's something about NOT being

able to go anywhere that can make me feel slighted somehow. So

instead of sitting around thinking about how everybody is having a

big meal and I'm not, I have something special (chosen from the

limited list of " special " foods that are part of my broader food

routine ;-) ), too.

I'm lucky, I guess, that I work in a place where a lot of people are

not Christians, and everybody (Christian or otherwise) in aware that

not everybody celebrates Christmas. There's still a " holiday " air in

late December, but it's not laid on as thick as many people have to

endure.

Jane

[Guest guest]

> But the best part of Christmas, to me, is when it's over and life

> can get back to normal. Anyone else feel this way?

Yes. I have noticed that a lot of people who celebrate X-mas do

so because they like many of the non-religious aspects,

including the decorations, songs, etc.

When I finally lived in a place where X-mas was celebrated, it

seemed that way. I was usually the one to turn out the lights

each night. At one point, I had to move a didgery do from the

top of a piano and there was a small crèche. The next day, it

occurred to me, " weren't there dogs in that manger? I'm not

especially knowledgable about the New Testament, but I didn't

recall dogs being part of the X-mas story. Maybe a she-wolf for

Romulous and Remus, but not for the Nativity.

So I looked again when I got back. Apparently someone decided

that the best models for ph and Holy were two

Staffiture Ceramic dogs, dressed up appropriately. Then I

looked at the baby Jesus. It would have been inappropriate to

use a dog for the Baby Jesus (because the size was wrong) and

instead they substituted a small bear.

Considering the pro-dog sentiment of the commune, the

substitutions were probably respectful.

- s

[Guest guest]

Stan wrote:

>So I looked again when I got back. Apparently someone decided

>that the best models for ph and Holy were two

>Staffiture Ceramic dogs, dressed up appropriately. Then I

>looked at the baby Jesus. It would have been inappropriate to

>use a dog for the Baby Jesus (because the size was wrong) and

>instead they substituted a small bear.

:-)

Jane

[Guest guest]

I'm neutral on Christmas. I've never been overly fond of having to shell out the

level of money for presents all at one strech, since that tends to get away from

the spirit of Christmas, that is being with the people we care about, and having

a good time. There are members of my family I could care to not see, since they

are so negative, overbearing, and even manipulative, that it also tends to bring

everyone else's good mood to an end in a hurry. However, I do have several

friends I to enjoy spending a lot of time with, and they accept me as is, which

is all I really want for Christmas, is to spend time with the people that accept

me.

" To be nobody but yourself in a world that is doing its best to make you

everyone else, is to fight the hardest battle anyone can fight. " - e e cummings

Debogorski

elcap1999@...

Am I the only one who hates Christmas?

People often ask each other this time of year, what are you doing

for Christmas? Once or twice I blurted out the truth -- same things

as I always do, except for the things I can't do on account of the

goshdurned holiday.

I like my routines, and holidays mess them up, not only for the day,

but sometimes for the " season " around the day. No mail, no work,

etc. I have to put up with garish decorations and the same handful

of songs that play as background music over and over and get stuck

in my mind for a good while afterward. I'm expected to call

relatives and people I've known on the phone, or field calls from

them, and wish them a " merry Christmas " and engage in a phone

conversation, which I don't do so well. Last night I was on the

phone for over an hour with my daughter (age 24 and NT). I didn't

want to be on the phone for that long but I felt a sort of

obligation to do so. And there's that annoying question people ask

each other, what are you doing for Christmas? Like there's

something wrong if you don't do something special that involves

seasonal food and music and large gatherings of people. Bah Humbug.

About the only thing I enjoy about Christmas is giving gifts. I

make jewelry, each piece one of a kind, and there's always the

problem of what to do with it after I've made it? People always

tell me " That's great! You ought to sell them! " I've tried selling

them but crafts and handmade jewelry don't generally sell very

well. So this time of year I enjoy giving them away to neighbors,

friends, people who help me, even perfect strangers! I don't have

to wait for Christmas to do this, of course, I often give " un-

birthday presents " , however, at Christmas I can do this a lot more.

But the best part of Christmas, to me, is when it's over and life

can get back to normal. Anyone else feel this way?

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

> People often ask each other this time of year, what are you doing

> for Christmas? Once or twice I blurted out the truth -- same things

> as I always do, except for the things I can't do on account of the

> goshdurned holiday.

LOL! I've never been a big fan of x-mess, as I like to spell it, either, but

especially since working in retail to I dread the season. X-mess stuff comes

out right along with the Hallowe'en stuff and the crowds get worse each

week. I especially despise " Black Friday " , this disgusting example of

consumerism and capitalism at its worst, when the store where I work opens

at six AM (some open earlier, even at midnight) and I of course get

scheduled at that time. Just seeing the people out there, already waiting

for the doors to open is enough to give me a panic attack. I never used shop

on the day after TG and I still don't now. This doesn't exist in the country

where I grew up, btw.

>

> I like my routines, and holidays mess them up, not only for the day,

> but sometimes for the " season " around the day. No mail, no work,

That's bad?

> etc. I have to put up with garish decorations and the same handful

> of songs that play as background music over and over and get stuck

> in my mind for a good while afterward.

Try to avoid listening to certain radio stations and going to certain

stores. This year, thank god, the music system at the store where I work was

(still is) broken, so I didn't have to put up with that horrible, repetitive

stuff. Don't they always play the worst versions of xmess songs. There are

some versions of some songs I really love and enjoy, but they never play

those.

I'm expected to call

> relatives and people I've known on the phone, or field calls from

> them, and wish them a " merry Christmas " and engage in a phone

> conversation, which I don't do so well.

Me neither, so I don't. I have a good excuse, too... I live too far

away for phone calls; all my relatives are in Germany and the in-laws are in

NY and TX. Since they're my husband's family more so than mine, it's his job

to call them. ))

Last night I was on the

> phone for over an hour with my daughter (age 24 and NT). I didn't

> want to be on the phone for that long but I felt a sort of

> obligation to do so.

I hate being held hostage on the phone, but don't mind when the convo is

good. And she is your daughter, so I guess you have to grin and bear it. I'm

phono-phobic, BTW, which means I hate making calls, even to make doc's

appointments and stuff, I'll put it off for the longest time, but if I have

to, I will. If someone calls me (when I happen to have the ringer on) I

always hope they're off within a couple of minutes.

And there's that annoying question people ask

> each other, what are you doing for Christmas? Like there's

> something wrong if you don't do something special that involves

> seasonal food and music and large gatherings of people. Bah Humbug.

Ah, another grinch, LOL! I'm spending xmess alone this year. My husband and

daughter flew to TX to visit his sister and her family and my son is

working, so I here, enjoying my music. It's a lot better than the obligatory

trip to my spouse's house (we're separated) for dinner. I hope it's like

that every year from now on. Oh, and did I mention that I'm glad that the

shopping season is over. Yay! Being in retail really can take the enjoyment

out of the holidays. I try to make the best of it, though.

> About the only thing I enjoy about Christmas is giving gifts. I

> make jewelry, each piece one of a kind, and there's always the

> problem of what to do with it after I've made it? People always

> tell me " That's great! You ought to sell them! " I've tried selling

> them but crafts and handmade jewelry don't generally sell very

> well. So this time of year I enjoy giving them away to neighbors,

> friends, people who help me, even perfect strangers! I don't have

> to wait for Christmas to do this, of course, I often give " un-

> birthday presents " , however, at Christmas I can do this a lot more.

> But the best part of Christmas, to me, is when it's over and life

> can get back to normal. Anyone else feel this way?

Yes, it's somehow a relief, but it's always kind of a let-down, too. After

xmess comes my birthday (in January), so whatever Santy Claus didn't bring,

maybe I'll get for my b-day. Even us grinches can make the day nice(er) by

concentrating on the things we like and ignoring those we don't.

D.

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

>

>

> And since everybody knows I dislike talking on the phone, my family

> members use email instead.

I wonder if disliking the phone is one of the aspie traits? This makes three

of us now.

>

> Nobody (in the family) expects to have contact with me. Except for my

> brother and sister-in-law. They have a tradition of driving into town

> to visit all their town friends on Dec. 24. This year, I decided to

> take a walk to visit a friend's new kitten. Just happened to work out

> that I was away when my brother et al. (they have four sons) dropped

> by. They always claim they can't give me any idea of when they'll get

> here, so I don't feel bad about missing them. If there's one thing I

> hate, it's waiting, especially waiting for something for which there

> is no specific start time. The years when I do get the visit, they've

> learned not to stay for more than half an hour.

That sounds a lot like me. I don't have siblings, so I guess I'd put up with

a visit from him/her once a year.

> I'm lucky, I guess, that I work in a place where a lot of people are

> not Christians, and everybody (Christian or otherwise) in aware that

> not everybody celebrates Christmas. There's still a " holiday " air in

> late December, but it's not laid on as thick as many people have to

> endure.

What hate about it most is the over-commercialization of it.

D.

[Guest guest]

Christmas bothers me also. It disrupts my routines which makes me

uncomfortable. I have no friends and my relatives stay away which is

fine with me. People at work ask me what I do for Christmas and I tell

them I do nothing. This freaks these people out. They cannot believe I

do nothing for Christmas. I received a phone call today, wrong number.

This is my normal routine. I rarely leave the house except for work,

shopping and running or other outdoor exercise. I feel incredibly

uncomfortable around people. I do not know were to look or when to smile

and I cannot read people.

GJ

---

In AutisticSpectrumTreeHouse , " jonipinkney "

wrote:

>

> People often ask each other this time of year, what are you doing

> for Christmas? Once or twice I blurted out the truth -- same things

> as I always do, except for the things I can't do on account of the

> goshdurned holiday.

>

> I like my routines, and holidays mess them up, not only for the day,

> but sometimes for the " season " around the day. No mail, no work,

> etc. I have to put up with garish decorations and the same handful

> of songs that play as background music over and over and get stuck

> in my mind for a good while afterward. I'm expected to call

> relatives and people I've known on the phone, or field calls from

> them, and wish them a " merry Christmas " and engage in a phone

> conversation, which I don't do so well. Last night I was on the

> phone for over an hour with my daughter (age 24 and NT). I didn't

> want to be on the phone for that long but I felt a sort of

> obligation to do so. And there's that annoying question people ask

> each other, what are you doing for Christmas? Like there's

> something wrong if you don't do something special that involves

> seasonal food and music and large gatherings of people. Bah Humbug.

> About the only thing I enjoy about Christmas is giving gifts. I

> make jewelry, each piece one of a kind, and there's always the

> problem of what to do with it after I've made it? People always

> tell me " That's great! You ought to sell them! " I've tried selling

> them but crafts and handmade jewelry don't generally sell very

> well. So this time of year I enjoy giving them away to neighbors,

> friends, people who help me, even perfect strangers! I don't have

> to wait for Christmas to do this, of course, I often give " un-

> birthday presents " , however, at Christmas I can do this a lot more.

> But the best part of Christmas, to me, is when it's over and life

> can get back to normal. Anyone else feel this way?

>

[Guest guest]

GJ wrote:

>... I feel incredibly

>uncomfortable around people. I do not know were to look or when to smile

>and I cannot read people.

I just finished reading (most of) a book called " Who Are You People? "

(subtitle: " A personal journey into the heart of fanatical passion in

America " ) by Shari Caudron. Although the author's tone occasionally

is snarky and irritating (she's also often funny), it's an

interesting collection of illustrations of my thesis that lots of

people are comfortable with others only when the focus is on

something other than " socializing. " She visits gatherings of people

who have nothing in common other than a great interest

(perseveration) in a particular topic. According to her, most of the

people feel they have been uncomfortable outsiders all their lives --

until they found (usually via the internet) a group based on their

perseveration. Only with those people could they be at ease, in

person as well as on-line.

Only one of the people in the books identifies himself as autistic,

but I bet there are others who are merely undiagnosed. ;-)

Jane

[Guest guest]

Wow! Good to know I'm not alone hating Christmas.

Now, the day after Christmas, I feel All Better!

Only thing is, those goshdurned songs will probably continue till new years or

therabouts. I don't play the radio in my house, as I tend to fixate on anything

I hear. If there's music playing I tend to listen to it to the exclusion of

everything else. Can't stand clocks ticking. I wear earplugs most of the time.

Funny thing is, I hear orchestral music in my head all the time, or choral

music. No definite songs, usually, just music. Maybe it's the angels, or the

music of the spheres. Anyone else hear this?

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Joni wrote:

>Funny thing is, I hear orchestral music in my head all the time, or

>choral music. No definite songs, usually, just music. Maybe it's the

>angels, or the music of the spheres. Anyone else hear this?

I don't hear it all the time, but I enjoy making up music (pseudo

Bach) in my head.

Jane

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

> Wow! Good to know I'm not alone hating Christmas.

I don't really hate it, but I hate having it, or anything else pushed on me

from all sides. Whenever that happens I tend to rebel and not want anything

to do with it at all.

> Now, the day after Christmas, I feel All Better!

I'm still off work, which is very unusual for me in retail.

> I don't play the radio in my house, as I tend to fixate on anything I

> hear. If there's music playing I tend to listen to it to the exclusion of

> everything else.

I tend to get obsessed with one artist or group and listen to them mostly,

but not exclusively.

> Can't stand clocks ticking. I wear earplugs most of the time.

I have to wear them to sleep.

> Funny thing is, I hear orchestral music in my head all the time, or

> choral music. No definite songs, usually, just music. Maybe it's the

> angels, or the music of the spheres. Anyone else hear this?

Not me... Maybe you're somehow tapping into the Cosmic/Universal

consciousness. People who write symphonies or any other type of music keep

saying that. That they're just vessels, the music comes to them from

somewhere. Have you tried writing some of it down?

D.

[Guest guest]

I think that I must be the only person who on Christmas Eve and on Christmas

day has spent so many hours to work.

I hate everything which can change my routine. It isn't easily acceptable by

my family and friends. I hear all day the same station on radio and I know

by heart all the program of the station.

I haven't also watched TV at all all previous year.

Tita

[Guest guest]

I hear music constantly in my head. Original, not music that I have

heard before. Complete with lyrics.

GJ

-- In AutisticSpectrumTreeHouse , joni pinkney

wrote:

>

> Wow! Good to know I'm not alone hating Christmas.

> Now, the day after Christmas, I feel All Better!

> Only thing is, those goshdurned songs will probably continue

till new years or therabouts. I don't play the radio in my house,

as I tend to fixate on anything I hear. If there's music playing I

tend to listen to it to the exclusion of everything else. Can't

stand clocks ticking. I wear earplugs most of the time.

> Funny thing is, I hear orchestral music in my head all the time,

or choral music. No definite songs, usually, just music. Maybe

it's the angels, or the music of the spheres. Anyone else hear this?

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

I hate the *bleepin'* phone. I unplug it when my common-law hubbie

isn't home. For one thing, I have sensitive ears. Sometimes with

certain people conversations can actually be interesting, but most

people call using small talk to initiate the whole process, and that

just makes me extremely antsy, impatient and at a loss for words,

especially when I'm at home and I'm in no mood for putting on some

" act " (unlike when I'm at a job - I consider the whole " act " part of

the job in most cases. At the moment I work alone and rarely have to

talk to anyone which is the way I like it.)

And Xmas interrupts my routines and it stresses me out every year. My

family is Anglican, and I've been atheist since forever, so it means

nothing in the religious sense. I like getting together with family

and giving gifts too - I make them too in the form of beeswax candles -

but I hate the commercialism of it, the hustle and bustle and people's

expectations of things. Some people still mail me xmas cards, but most

have learned I don't do the same and stopped, because 1) I think it's a

waste of time, money and trees, and 2) only really organized people

think to do such things! And I'm so not organized when it comes to

things outside of routine. Things like that take me forever and screw

up my whole day.

a

>

> ----- Original Message -----

>

> >

> >

> > And since everybody knows I dislike talking on the phone, my family

> > members use email instead.

>

> I wonder if disliking the phone is one of the aspie traits? This

> makes three

> of us now.

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

>I hear music constantly in my head. Original, not music that I have

> heard before. Complete with lyrics.

Write it down. I'm serious! This is too good to let go to waste. I wish I

heard music in my head. That's what happens or happened to all great

composers.

D.

[Guest guest]

>

>

> ----- Original Message -----

>

>

>

>

> >I hear music constantly in my head. Original, not music that I

have

> > heard before. Complete with lyrics.

>

>

> Write it down. I'm serious! This is too good to let go to waste. I

wish I

> heard music in my head. That's what happens or happened to all

great

> composers.

>

>

> D.

>

Do not think this has not occured to me. First, I have no

understanding of music. Second, I lack fine motor skills, I have

tried guitar with limited success. Perhaps piano would be better.

And last I lack the social skills to persuade others to help me make

music. I have seen what has happened to other autistic artists such

as Kurt Cobain that were thrust into the limelight only to be

destroyed by those nasty NT's. Sometimes it is best to keep your

music to yourself.

GJ

[Guest guest]

It was 26 Dec 2006, when bolivarcj commented:

> Christmas bothers me also. It disrupts my routines which makes me

> uncomfortable. I have no friends and my relatives stay away which is

> fine with me. People at work ask me what I do for Christmas and I tell them

> I do nothing. This freaks these people out. They cannot believe I do

> nothing for Christmas. I received a phone call today, wrong number. This is

> my normal routine. I rarely leave the house except for work, shopping and

> running or other outdoor exercise. I feel incredibly uncomfortable around

> people. I do not know were to look or when to smile and I cannot read

> people.

I did the Christmas thing this year. Went up to Mom's in $another_town,

and drank eggnog, ate Yulekakka or however you spell it. I like Mom, I

like my sister, I like hanging out with them, up to a point. I have

trouble with the expectations of Usual Christmas Behavior, which is part

of usual behavior, which I don't do.

Love Mom, Love sister, don't love expectations of Normal Behavior. So,

when you envited me, who was it you expected to show up this weekend?

--

<dbsmith at atbbs.dyndns.org>

" And that's the news from Lake Wobegon, where

all the women are

strong, all the men are good-looking, and all

the children are above

average. " -- Garrison Keilor

[Guest guest]

It was 27 Dec 2006, when bolivarcj commented:

> I hear music constantly in my head. Original, not music that I have

> heard before. Complete with lyrics.

I never hear original music anymore, only replays of what I've heard on

radios over the millenia. Okay, over the years, only seems like millenia.

Thankfully, my sister is the only person who hears me sing in the shower,

and an occasional lapse into fare appropriate to the " The Three Tenors " is

not noticed as out of place.

--

<dbsmith at atbbs.dyndns.org>

" And that's the news from Lake Wobegon, where

all the women are

strong, all the men are good-looking, and all

the children are above

average. " -- Garrison Keilor

[Guest guest]

It was 27 Dec 2006, when bolivarcj commented:

> Do not think this has not occured to me. First, I have no

> understanding of music. Second, I lack fine motor skills, I have

> tried guitar with limited success. Perhaps piano would be better.

> And last I lack the social skills to persuade others to help me make

> music. I have seen what has happened to other autistic artists such

> as Kurt Cobain that were thrust into the limelight only to be

> destroyed by those nasty NT's. Sometimes it is best to keep your

> music to yourself.

Well, the obvious alternative is MIDI. You create your music by creating

technical descriptions on how to reproduce the music. If it's good, it's

good. If it's not it's not. Pretty straightforward. No genetic

preconceptions involved -- yours or theirs.

OTOH, the downside is, if your music sucks, it still sucks, but in a

detailed digital format.

Feel lucky?

Grizzly

--

<dbsmith at atbbs.dyndns.org>

" Those who cannot remember the past are

condemned to repeat

it. " -- Santayana (1863-1952); US

(Spanish-born)

philosopher.