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Re: Car issue resolved

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As much as being without a vehicle will be an inconvenience to your parents, it

is wonderful the way getting your dad to stop driving transpired. A wonderful

story. Thank you for sharing what could have been a very difficult transition.

>

> To refresh the backstory: My dad has (until a few weeks ago) been fairly

clear headed during the day (vivid hallucinations and confusion at night). Now,

despite even his daytime confusion, he is rather verbal about it, asking why we

remember things so well and he is so unable to. -Mentioning his amazement at

our ability to keep track of information while he can barely keep track of the

conversation thread... He hasn't driven the car in weeks as Mom has felt he was

too anxious and confused. (She can drive, but her arthritis makes getting in

and out of the car very difficult. They will both turn 80 this month.) -Anyway,

it was time to get the vehicle inspected, so I had to drive it, finding the

tires sadly worn and neglected. It passed inspection, but as we waited for it,

Dad admitted to me that he didn't really feel comfortable driving lately. I

firmly and gently told him it was time to leave the car with me so that we could

sell it and remove that extra expense and concern from their life. I even wrote

him a note explaining why the car was no longer in his driveway since I knew he

would forget the day pretty soon and by evening, he is rather impatient with Mom

explaining things to him that he feels he should already know.

>

> All in all, a very smooth transition that can be so volatile with our loved

ones. Remarkable and relatively unusual -in that he was so cooperative and

docile. It can happen. I feel a little sad today, it's such a milestone. Yet,

he did appreciate pealing off another life detail and responsibility that he

recognizes (some of the time) that he can no longer manage safely. I'm glad I

could help with that.

> Ida

>

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Thank you for sharing that touching and sad story. Good luck with your

parents. Leona

Leona: Caregiver for husband Ray, age 68, diagnosed 2/04 with Parkinson's

Disease. Changed doctors, diagnosed 6/06 with LBD. Almost continual downhill

slide no matter what drugs we try. 5/2/08 Ray was placed in Sunrise Nursing

Home in Oswego, NY, 1 hour from home. So far, so good! Hardest thing I have

ever done in my life, however. 3/19/09 transferred to Samaritan Keep NH in

Watertown, NY closer to home. He passed peacefully at 5:18 am on April 14,

2009. I am handling it OK.

'Love is not finding someone to live with; it's finding someone you don't

want to live without.'

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