Re: Re: Car issue resolved

[Guest guest]

 

Hi Ida,

Thank you for sharing such a heart warming story that your dad with LBD had

the mentality to know that he should no longer drive the car. You are very

fortunate

that the task went so smoothly for you. My husband did not willingly give up

driving and put me through the hoops to get him off the road. He saw it as his

last grasp to independence and wasn't about to let go. I needed the car, so

could not sell it.

Thankfully, it all ended well, but with a lot of effort from me.

I loved reading such a positive story. Thank you.

Jan Colello

San Francisco Bay Area, CA

Husband, Jim, dx w/LBD Oct. 2003

Deceased, January 22, 2011

Subject: Re: Car issue resolved

To: LBDcaregivers

Date: Saturday, May 14, 2011, 9:00 AM

 

As much as being without a vehicle will be an inconvenience to your parents, it

is wonderful the way getting your dad to stop driving transpired. A wonderful

story. Thank you for sharing what could have been a very difficult transition.

>

> To refresh the backstory: My dad has (until a few weeks ago) been fairly clear

headed during the day (vivid hallucinations and confusion at night). Now,

despite even his daytime confusion, he is rather verbal about it, asking why we

remember things so well and he is so unable to. -Mentioning his amazement at our

ability to keep track of information while he can barely keep track of the

conversation thread... He hasn't driven the car in weeks as Mom has felt he was

too anxious and confused. (She can drive, but her arthritis makes getting in and

out of the car very difficult. They will both turn 80 this month.) -Anyway, it

was time to get the vehicle inspected, so I had to drive it, finding the tires

sadly worn and neglected. It passed inspection, but as we waited for it, Dad

admitted to me that he didn't really feel comfortable driving lately. I firmly

and gently told him it was time to leave the car with me so that we could sell

it and remove that

extra expense and concern from their life. I even wrote him a note explaining

why the car was no longer in his driveway since I knew he would forget the day

pretty soon and by evening, he is rather impatient with Mom explaining things to

him that he feels he should already know.

>

> All in all, a very smooth transition that can be so volatile with our loved

ones. Remarkable and relatively unusual -in that he was so cooperative and

docile. It can happen. I feel a little sad today, it's such a milestone. Yet, he

did appreciate pealing off another life detail and responsibility that he

recognizes (some of the time) that he can no longer manage safely. I'm glad I

could help with that.

> Ida

>