Re: How on earth do I cope?

[Guest guest]

.....so sorry for your situation. Mine was similar with my husband, until

ZOLOFT was added to his NAMENDA. Does your father take these two

medications? My husband has not been " mean " or belligerent since he has added

ZOLOFT to the mix. He is on the generic drug, and it has been a lifesaver.

I found that the best way to handle a " siege " was to distract him, which

was quite easy to do. We have hung many, many pictures of family through

the years. They cover almost every inch of wall that we can find, so it's

always easy to find a distraction. This also helps him to keep memories

alive.

I hope you find YOUR way with this huge problem.

Marcia

[Guest guest]

Lindsey,

It is important to find the files. If you go to the Yahoo site instead of

reading on your home computer, you will find tons of info.

Your Mom can't " give in " to his driving. He can get really hurt if he freezes

and can't remember what to do next. If he kills someone, she can be sued and

held responsible. And she doesn't have to argue with him. There is a kill

switch that he won't be able to use, but she can easily. And it isn't

expensive.

What every one needs to understand is how frighten he is. His mind isn't

helping him at all. And he may need a Dr that knows LBD and can find the right

drugs.

And in your mind which needs to do a quick turn around, you need to think of

treating him as a scared kid. You were really thinking good to get all the

weapons out of the house.

Be careful of hospitals. They will want to drug him with the wrong drugs and he

could end up in worse shape. Mostly you and you family will learn to work

around his problems. To argue with him does no good.

Find the Welcome message at Yahoo from a few days ago and that will give you a

start. If you have specific questions, there is a search at Yahoo. Put in a

word or two into search and you will get others answers quickly.

Hope this helps. You should be able to get to yahoo at the bottom of any

message.

We have all been through it and this is very normal for LBD.

Hugs,

Donna R

Cared for Mom 3 years in my home and the last year at a nh. She passed away

from LBD in 2002.

How on earth do I cope?

I'm a new name around here

My name is , and in late December of 2010, my father was diagnosed with

LBD. It's been a very scary, rough road with him. My father is a master

manipulator, and also extremely belligerent since his diagnoses.

My writing here is mostly to find support and to ask how all of you have coped

with dealing with this disease.

It's been extremely scary.....he has always dealt with depression and became

especially depressed while sick in the hospital. Before he was discharged, I

removed all guns/ammunition/sharp knives/etc from our house, as he has had

suicidal thoughts in the past. We had to take his car keys away and he became

extremely angry, attempting to hide his discharge paperwork that said 'no

driving' and even calling a local tow company to get is car so he could have a

new key made.....things like that.

He has used extremely hurtful words towards all of us (my mother, brother, and

myself), cursing and directly calling all of us names.

I'm away at school full time, but upon returning home this evening I discovered

that my mother caved and gave him his keys back until his next doctor's

appointment. He went tonight to pick up pizza (against everyone's wishes) and

it took him 3 hours to make a 10 minute drive. I'm extremely worried.

I just......feel so helpless. I know it's the disease talking when he says or

does awful things, but he's always been someone that I haven't really gotten

along with....I have no idea what to do.

How do I deal with this?

[Guest guest]

,

It is hard and I am so sorry you are going through this. My Dad died in

November of 2010, but several years ago I had to be the " bad guy " in the family

when I saw the keys HAD to be taken and that my brother and mother were not able

to do it. So my first comment is - NO MORE DRIVING. Whatever it takes to make

that happen. My last straw was my Dad having an accident and the other vehicle

was a mother my age with a son my son's age (they were not badly injured, thank

goodness). I realized no matter what my dad, mom and brother could live with, I

was not going to allow him to hurt or kill anyone, period.

What worked for me was calling his doctor before his next appointment and

telling the staff that it was past time to take away the keys. The doctor

pretty much took it from there. The funny thing is when we arrived at that

appointment, the Dr. asked if there were any troubles with driving, and both my

parents did not say a PEEP about the accident - they were not going to admit to

it. But the Dr. did a great job getting around that and just said that with Dad

declining a little, he would need to be evaluated by the DMV. Of course the Dr.

and I knew that he could not pass. So he lost his license and although he could

be belligerent and angry, he was not going to break the law and drive without a

license/insurance....

It is not fun but I still am so glad I stopped it when I did as I don't think

the rest of the family was able to face it.

[Guest guest]

Your Mom also needs to lock the meds so he doesn't take them when he feels like

it...perhaps end up in an overdose or something.

>

> Lindsey,

>

> It is important to find the files. If you go to the Yahoo site instead of

reading on your home computer, you will find tons of info.

>

> Your Mom can't " give in " to his driving. He can get really hurt if he freezes

and can't remember what to do next. If he kills someone, she can be sued and

held responsible. And she doesn't have to argue with him. There is a kill

switch that he won't be able to use, but she can easily. And it isn't

expensive.

>

> What every one needs to understand is how frighten he is. His mind isn't

helping him at all. And he may need a Dr that knows LBD and can find the right

drugs.

>

> And in your mind which needs to do a quick turn around, you need to think of

treating him as a scared kid. You were really thinking good to get all the

weapons out of the house.

>

> Be careful of hospitals. They will want to drug him with the wrong drugs and

he could end up in worse shape. Mostly you and you family will learn to work

around his problems. To argue with him does no good.

>

> Find the Welcome message at Yahoo from a few days ago and that will give you a

start. If you have specific questions, there is a search at Yahoo. Put in a

word or two into search and you will get others answers quickly.

>

> Hope this helps. You should be able to get to yahoo at the bottom of any

message.

>

> We have all been through it and this is very normal for LBD.

>

> Hugs,

>

> Donna R

>

>

> Cared for Mom 3 years in my home and the last year at a nh. She passed away

from LBD in 2002.

>

>

> How on earth do I cope?

>

> I'm a new name around here

>

> My name is , and in late December of 2010, my father was diagnosed with

LBD. It's been a very scary, rough road with him. My father is a master

manipulator, and also extremely belligerent since his diagnoses.

>

> My writing here is mostly to find support and to ask how all of you have coped

with dealing with this disease.

>

> It's been extremely scary.....he has always dealt with depression and became

especially depressed while sick in the hospital. Before he was discharged, I

removed all guns/ammunition/sharp knives/etc from our house, as he has had

suicidal thoughts in the past. We had to take his car keys away and he became

extremely angry, attempting to hide his discharge paperwork that said 'no

driving' and even calling a local tow company to get is car so he could have a

new key made.....things like that.

>

> He has used extremely hurtful words towards all of us (my mother, brother, and

myself), cursing and directly calling all of us names.

>

> I'm away at school full time, but upon returning home this evening I

discovered that my mother caved and gave him his keys back until his next

doctor's appointment. He went tonight to pick up pizza (against everyone's

wishes) and it took him 3 hours to make a 10 minute drive. I'm extremely

worried.

>

> I just......feel so helpless. I know it's the disease talking when he says or

does awful things, but he's always been someone that I haven't really gotten

along with....I have no idea what to do.

>

> How do I deal with this?

>

>

>

>

>

>