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Raena,

Happy Birthday to thomas. It does sound like an incredible year.

Thea

> Hello all,

>

> Today is ' 8th birthday. He is tucked happily in his bed, so

I

> want to take a minute to express a few things that I have on my

heart.

>

> We have had such an amazing trip during the last 4 years. Some of

it

> has been heartbreaking, some enlightening, some inspiring; but all

a

> part of the tapestry that is becoming my life...and his.

>

> is doing so well right now. He is making progress, finally,

> after plunging headlong into oblivion for two and a half years.

Those

> two years were full of the most incredible agony...I don't think I

> can even describe what happened to us during that time. I would

not

> have believed that people could exist in that state, had I not gone

> through it myself. After years of working with children

with " rare "

> disorders, I find myself among those parents who have the

unfortunate

> experience of hearing expert after expert say, " There is nothing I

> can offer you " . The pain that comes with those words....This is my

> baby. There is supposed to be SOMEONE who knows what to do, but not

> with CDD. We have had to find a way ourselves, and whether by luck

or

> skill, I think we are finally on a road that leads upwards again.

>

> Either because it is the course of the disorder or because we have

> found a plan that actually meets some of his needs, is ever

so

> slowly moving back toward the world he so completely left behind a

> couple of years ago. He is trying to talk after losing all of his

> language. He is relating to his siblings after seemingly losing

> sight of their existence. He is aware that his aggressive actions

> can hurt another person and tries to control them. He is happy,

after

> 3 years of fear, anger, and misery. That is the best part; he

wakes

> up with a smile on his face almost every day now. I think that is

> the most important thing we have accomplished...he seems genuinely

> happy again.

>

> I don't know what the next eight years have in store for . I

> am hopeful that he will continue to step gingerly toward our

> world...but the literature is so negative for CDD that I am almost

> afraid to hope. We will keep fighting to help him find his way

> back...but we will also, as necessary, allow him to stay where he

has

> to be in order to feel safe and happy---I have learned that I

cannot

> drag him into a place where he has no interest in being, so my job

as

> I see it is to make this place we call " normal " as appealing and

> unthreatening as I can so that he will be willing to risk a move in

> it's direction again.

>

> We recently had a discussion about the different perspectives

parents

> can adopt when raising a child with autism. It was stated that

there

> are those who believe that there is a different child hidden under

> the autism and those who believe autism is an integral part of who

> the child is. I think I fall into both categories...I know there

is

> a different little boy under these odd behaviors---he used to live

> here. But I also know that this disorder has shaped the feelings,

> ideas, needs, and beliefs of that little boy in a way that will

never

> go out of his being. If he " recovered " tomorrow, he would never be

> that other little boy again. Too much has happened to him. He has

> lived a nightmare that no child should have to endure, and that

will

> never go away.

>

> is an everchanging miracle to me. He is beautiful...he is

> sweet...he has an innocence that most 8 yr olds have long since

left

> behind in their quest for growth and maturity. He is my baby, and

> there is no way I can express to you how I feel about having him in

> my life. I love all of my kids, and would do whatever is necessary

> to help them have all that is out there for them in life...I often

> wonder what is out there for . Whatever it is, we will go

> there together, for as long as I can, and we will look for the

best.

> He deserves it.

>

> Thanks for listening.

> Raena

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Happy 8th year with , to you, Raena.

He is truly a blessed little boy, and I hope he finds constant peace and

happiness in his heart. Happy Birthday, sweet child.

You are right in that no child should have to endure any of this, but notes like

yours truly help confirm in my heart that there is indeed a purpose in all of

this.

Oftentimes, I read posts on this and other lists, and *I* am the one who feels

blessed to be counted amongst you guys. The depth of the love that we have for

our children is astounding, to say the least, and so fervent and nearly violent

that it makes me so proud. I come closer and closer to believing that we are,

in fact, the only people who could have raised these children, and loved them

this much. When you think about it, we love them more because of their

differences, in spite of their differences.

And you CAN hope, Raena. I know also that the material out there on CDD is

bleak, but it's also not nearly as common as " regular " autism, if you will, and

there is much research to be done. Heck ,the material out there on autism is

pretty darn bleak in itself! Besides that, you CAN hope and you will hope

because that is all there is to keep you looking forward to tomorrow. I,

myself, am afraid to hope in fear of disappointment, more heartbreak, and an

incredible, shocking amount of pain. But - - look at ... and you see all

those little improvements here and there, and that is all we ever hoped for.

Improvement. And he's done that through you, for you, and with you.

God bless your family, Raena. I pray that the new year brings you all more

blessings than you can handle. Yes, truly deserves it, but I also know

that YOU deserve it just as much. Every bit just as much.

Grace

is 8...

Hello all,

Today is ' 8th birthday. He is tucked happily in his bed, so I

want to take a minute to express a few things that I have on my heart.

We have had such an amazing trip during the last 4 years. Some of it

has been heartbreaking, some enlightening, some inspiring; but all a

part of the tapestry that is becoming my life...and his.

is doing so well right now. He is making progress, finally,

after plunging headlong into oblivion for two and a half years. Those

two years were full of the most incredible agony...I don't think I

can even describe what happened to us during that time. I would not

have believed that people could exist in that state, had I not gone

through it myself. After years of working with children with " rare "

disorders, I find myself among those parents who have the unfortunate

experience of hearing expert after expert say, " There is nothing I

can offer you " . The pain that comes with those words....This is my

baby. There is supposed to be SOMEONE who knows what to do, but not

with CDD. We have had to find a way ourselves, and whether by luck or

skill, I think we are finally on a road that leads upwards again.

Either because it is the course of the disorder or because we have

found a plan that actually meets some of his needs, is ever so

slowly moving back toward the world he so completely left behind a

couple of years ago. He is trying to talk after losing all of his

language. He is relating to his siblings after seemingly losing

sight of their existence. He is aware that his aggressive actions

can hurt another person and tries to control them. He is happy, after

3 years of fear, anger, and misery. That is the best part; he wakes

up with a smile on his face almost every day now. I think that is

the most important thing we have accomplished...he seems genuinely

happy again.

I don't know what the next eight years have in store for . I

am hopeful that he will continue to step gingerly toward our

world...but the literature is so negative for CDD that I am almost

afraid to hope. We will keep fighting to help him find his way

back...but we will also, as necessary, allow him to stay where he has

to be in order to feel safe and happy---I have learned that I cannot

drag him into a place where he has no interest in being, so my job as

I see it is to make this place we call " normal " as appealing and

unthreatening as I can so that he will be willing to risk a move in

it's direction again.

We recently had a discussion about the different perspectives parents

can adopt when raising a child with autism. It was stated that there

are those who believe that there is a different child hidden under

the autism and those who believe autism is an integral part of who

the child is. I think I fall into both categories...I know there is

a different little boy under these odd behaviors---he used to live

here. But I also know that this disorder has shaped the feelings,

ideas, needs, and beliefs of that little boy in a way that will never

go out of his being. If he " recovered " tomorrow, he would never be

that other little boy again. Too much has happened to him. He has

lived a nightmare that no child should have to endure, and that will

never go away.

is an everchanging miracle to me. He is beautiful...he is

sweet...he has an innocence that most 8 yr olds have long since left

behind in their quest for growth and maturity. He is my baby, and

there is no way I can express to you how I feel about having him in

my life. I love all of my kids, and would do whatever is necessary

to help them have all that is out there for them in life...I often

wonder what is out there for . Whatever it is, we will go

there together, for as long as I can, and we will look for the best.

He deserves it.

Thanks for listening.

Raena

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Well said.

Tuna

--- rgr4us wrote:

is an everchanging miracle to me. He is

beautiful...he is sweet...he has an innocence that

most 8 yr olds have long since left behind in their

quest for growth and maturity. He is my baby, and

there is no way I can express to you how I feel about

having him in my life. I love all of my kids, and

would do whatever is necessary to help them have all

that is out there for them in life...I often

wonder what is out there for . Whatever it is,

we will go there together, for as long as I can, and

we will look for the best. He deserves it.

Thanks for listening.

Raena

=====

______________________________________________________

Send your holiday cheer with http://greetings.yahoo.ca

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Raena:

I just read this and it brought tears to my eyes (and I do not cry easily).

I am glad that is showing some signs of improvement and I share your

joy that he is a happier person. I know the literature on CDD is very

discouraging but they also do not understand it even as well as they

understand autism. There is hope; there is always hope.

Salli

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Raena....you made me cry. I hope he has a wonderful birthday and you see

lots of improvement in the coming years.

Best Wishes,

Tamara

>

>Reply-To: parenting_autism

>To: parenting_autism

>Subject: is 8...

>Date: Fri, 14 Dec 2001 12:44:55 -0000

>

>Hello all,

>

>Today is ' 8th birthday. He is tucked happily in his bed, so I

>want to take a minute to express a few things that I have on my heart.

>

>We have had such an amazing trip during the last 4 years. Some of it

>has been heartbreaking, some enlightening, some inspiring; but all a

>part of the tapestry that is becoming my life...and his.

>

> is doing so well right now. He is making progress, finally,

>after plunging headlong into oblivion for two and a half years. Those

>two years were full of the most incredible agony...I don't think I

>can even describe what happened to us during that time. I would not

>have believed that people could exist in that state, had I not gone

>through it myself. After years of working with children with " rare "

>disorders, I find myself among those parents who have the unfortunate

>experience of hearing expert after expert say, " There is nothing I

>can offer you " . The pain that comes with those words....This is my

>baby. There is supposed to be SOMEONE who knows what to do, but not

>with CDD. We have had to find a way ourselves, and whether by luck or

>skill, I think we are finally on a road that leads upwards again.

>

>Either because it is the course of the disorder or because we have

>found a plan that actually meets some of his needs, is ever so

>slowly moving back toward the world he so completely left behind a

>couple of years ago. He is trying to talk after losing all of his

>language. He is relating to his siblings after seemingly losing

>sight of their existence. He is aware that his aggressive actions

>can hurt another person and tries to control them. He is happy, after

>3 years of fear, anger, and misery. That is the best part; he wakes

>up with a smile on his face almost every day now. I think that is

>the most important thing we have accomplished...he seems genuinely

>happy again.

>

>I don't know what the next eight years have in store for . I

>am hopeful that he will continue to step gingerly toward our

>world...but the literature is so negative for CDD that I am almost

>afraid to hope. We will keep fighting to help him find his way

>back...but we will also, as necessary, allow him to stay where he has

>to be in order to feel safe and happy---I have learned that I cannot

>drag him into a place where he has no interest in being, so my job as

>I see it is to make this place we call " normal " as appealing and

>unthreatening as I can so that he will be willing to risk a move in

>it's direction again.

>

>We recently had a discussion about the different perspectives parents

>can adopt when raising a child with autism. It was stated that there

>are those who believe that there is a different child hidden under

>the autism and those who believe autism is an integral part of who

>the child is. I think I fall into both categories...I know there is

>a different little boy under these odd behaviors---he used to live

>here. But I also know that this disorder has shaped the feelings,

>ideas, needs, and beliefs of that little boy in a way that will never

>go out of his being. If he " recovered " tomorrow, he would never be

>that other little boy again. Too much has happened to him. He has

>lived a nightmare that no child should have to endure, and that will

>never go away.

>

> is an everchanging miracle to me. He is beautiful...he is

>sweet...he has an innocence that most 8 yr olds have long since left

>behind in their quest for growth and maturity. He is my baby, and

>there is no way I can express to you how I feel about having him in

>my life. I love all of my kids, and would do whatever is necessary

>to help them have all that is out there for them in life...I often

>wonder what is out there for . Whatever it is, we will go

>there together, for as long as I can, and we will look for the best.

>He deserves it.

>

>Thanks for listening.

>Raena

>

>

>

>

>

>

_________________________________________________________________

Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com

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In a message dated 12/14/01 8:40:41 AM Pacific Standard Time, Raena writes:

> is an everchanging miracle to me. He is beautiful...he is

> sweet...he has an innocence that most 8 yr olds have long since left

> behind in their quest for growth and maturity. He is my baby, and

> there is no way I can express to you how I feel about having him in

> my life.

>

No, but we can understand it anyway!

I loved the part where you described his smile upon arising in the morning.

To me, that is beautiful.

Happy birthday, .

May you have many more happy ones to come.

Barb

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