Re: ready to scream~~

[Guest guest]

Gang --

I'm not even going to address the break-up with Mindy out of my respect

for her, it would be silly and wouldn't do anything other than bandage my ego.

But I did want to back up what she said about Dr. D saying there was no

Vaginismus. It was a big moment, Mindy asked a couple times to make

sure he was certain because it was such a relief to her.

Doctors... I don't know what to say. I've met Dr. D. twice and her other

Dr. once, and with both I think it's strange that my unprofessional opinion

was able to change things about thier diagnosis after-the-fact. With Dr.

,

he was convinced Mindy had Herpes until I pointed out the rather noticable

trouble spot and immediately changed his diagnosis. With Dr. D, he was all

set to give Mindy birth control pills until I started questioning why he was

going to do this if she was going to have surgery in a month and be down for

2.

I don't know how much weight my words carry anymore, but I would

suggest Mindy goes with Dr. D. My logic behind that is that Dr. S.

has treated only a few patients with problems anywhere near Mindy's,

where as Dr. D. sees it all the time and has success stories that

sing his praise.

Also, in case I forget to mention this later Mindy, I think Dr. D.

was going to bring down the Vaginal wall IN ADDITION TO

removing any scar tissue. I think Dr. D's thing was that just

removing the tissue wouldn't be enough and it would grow back.

As for feeling the scar tissue... I totally did feel something whenever

Mindy and I were intimate. I've had only a couple other partners so

I'm not speaking from complete expertise, but it didn't seem natural.

Basically, it was a semi-painful roughness which I think would hurt

the bottom of my penis. It wasn't so bad that the sex wasn't enjoyable,

but sometimes it would seem like it was going to rub me totally raw.

I never really mentioned this to Mindy until it became an issue at the

Dr.'s since I thought she didn't need anything else to worry about,

and that her getting better would perhaps make it go away as well.

And I wasn't entirely sure whether or not it could just be the

retroverted uteris, but seeing the scars on the Coloscopy made

me think otherwise.

Anyway, I hope Mindy knows I am still there for her in any way

I can be, and have in no way stopped in my hopes of seeing

her get better.

[Guest guest]

Ladies - hang in there - it is not easy and it is not easy for your partner. As women, we often feel worse that we can;t have a regular sex life, not for us, but for our partner. I know the thought of a surrogate crossed my mind more than once. But it helps to talk it through We all know that sex is an important part of a long term relationship - just keep communicating with each other and working to improve the situation.

Good luck both of you - my thoughts are with you

[Guest guest]

Mindy,

You have every right to be upset and confused by such differing opinions.

I never get any answers either from doctors. I am really sorry that

broke up with you.

What an awful thing on top of everything else. If you ever need to talk

please e-mail me.

Jo

Willowtree789@aol

[Guest guest]

Mindy,

I sympathize with you completely. I go to doctors all the time and don't feel like I get any of of the information out of them that I went in for. I always leave confused and feeling like I'm being rushed out the door, not to mention the conflicting opinions and the "don't listen to that doctor, listen to me" syndrome. They can't agree on anything, Now, I'm not familiar with what type of surgery you are looking to have, but if you'll fill me in, I'll do a little searching around for you. Does the procedure/surgery have a specific name? I'm an Internet researcher in a big way, it's actually a huge part of my job at work. I'll see what I can find, if you'd like me to.

Also, I am so sorry to hear about your boyfriend. I'm sure that couldn't have come at a worse time. I just spent the weekend separated from my husband while we decided on our own whether to stay together. Fortunately, we both want to make it work, so things are getting better, but I was miserable there for a while. Not having a normal sex life (to say the least) has had an effect on my marriage as well. How long were you together? My husband and I have been together for almost 3 years. It's hard to imagine it actually being over between us.

Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com

I want to let everyone know that I just came back from my regular Gyn. in Los Angeles, and now I am just ready to explode. I hate doctors, all of them. Which one's do we trust, and which ones are too full of themselves to tell us the truth, instead of boast their ego???

This is what happened.

I went to go and talk to him about what Dr. said about surgery. I haven't seen him since I came back from AZ the 1st time, so I filled him in on everything. O.K. #1. Why do Dr.'s lie to us? I mean I straight out asked Dr. if I had Vaginismus, and like most of you will remember, I was happy he told me that I didn't. Then when I was contemplating the "shot" that he was going to give me to "relax the muscle", I just didn't understand the reasoning if I didn't have it. So, like I thought, maybe I am crazy!!! Maybe I just heard that because I wanted to, but I think I recall asking if he heard the same thing, and he said yes. Well, today when I was talking to Dr. ...he said that said that was one of my main problems, and blah blah blah. I mean it was even written on a little sticky note...WHAT THE HELL???

So, of course the main reason I went to go and ask his opinion on what has told me, and about the surgery. Now, told me a few things, important things about the damn surgery. He said that it will be really bad for me. I will be out a month. I won't be mobile for a week... would've'e had to carry me to the bathroom...NO MORE SEAN THOUGH--whole other b.s. that I am dealing with...and that I should be back to normal...working and such in about a month. I think he said that the surgery would cost between $2,300-2,600...and I would have to stay in AZ for at least a week. He said that he was going to remove the scar tissue(elastic bands), and I think that was it.

Dr. 's reaction to all of this, is that he is crazy. said that he could do this "procedure" in his office, under local anesthesia and that I should be O.K. in a week? He also said that I will be able to move around and such the same day. He is/was planning on just snipping the little bands on the outside, and said that should relieve a lot of pain, just like cutting a rubber band.

So, why am I confused? Is this just a Dr. battle, on who can get the money, or who's the better Dr?, or are they really that different, meaning the procedure to , and major (sounds like it to me) surgery to . UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

Does anyone understand my frustration.

Oh, and also told me that the shot of Kenalog was something that we talked about before. I remember talking about a shot, just couldn't remember what type.

Is this all my fault, my misunderstanding, or what?

I really am not liking this at all. And, I feel like I am going insane. How does everyone get so much information from Dr.'s? I never can. Maybe it's my damn mental disorder. I just don't get it!!! I really don't want to get a 100the opinion. I am sick of feeling like a project, and just want to feel better.

Oh, and something that really struck me as important, was that told the last time, that he thinks that he feels that scar tissue sometimes...and says that is impossible. It's so small. Does anyone know if a Colposcope magnifies the area, and if so a lot, or a little.

Well,

Sorry for raging...I just know that hopefully someone will respond.

Oh, and to make matters worse, I called yesterday (because he told me to move out) to see if he was going to still go with me to the Dr. today, and ask him...and he ended up breaking up with me. Just another thing to add to the pile of everyday hell...right!

Hopefully I will find most of the answers someday~

Thanks for listening,

~Mindy~Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com

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[Guest guest]

Mindy,

You aren't alone. Every doctor I see sings a different song. Like the

Elmiron. I think it's hurting me, one Dr. says I have IC, one says I don't.

I've heard a lot of good about Dr. , and some bad. I can't give an

opinion on his expertise as I have not seen him. I know how damned

frustrating it is, but at least I have a husband on board. I have to admire

for what he did. Most wouldn't have done that. I feel for you hon.

Feel free to write off list anytime..

Lona

: I want to let everyone know that I just came back from my regular Gyn. in

Los Angeles, and now I am just ready to explode. I hate doctors, all of

them. Which one's do we trust, and which ones are too full of themselves to

tell us the truth, instead of boast their ego???

:

: This is what happened.

: I went to go and talk to him about what Dr. said about surgery. I

haven't seen him since I came back from AZ the 1st time, so I filled him in

on everything. O.K. #1. Why do Dr.'s lie to us? I mean I straight out

asked Dr. if I had Vaginismus, and like most of you will remember, I

was happy he told me that I didn't. Then when I was contemplating the

" shot " that he was going to give me to " relax the muscle " , I just didn't

understand the reasoning if I didn't have it. So, like I thought, maybe I

am crazy!!! Maybe I just heard that because I wanted to, but I think I

recall asking if he heard the same thing, and he said yes. Well, today

when I was talking to Dr. ...he said that said that was one of

my main problems, and blah blah blah. I mean it was even written on a

little sticky note...WHAT THE HELL???

:

[Guest guest]

Hi Mindy,

I am sorry to hear of your troubles, medical and personal.

I do not recall the specifics of your problems, but if the only reason you

are seeking surgery is to have intercourse, or painless intercourse, you may

want to put all that on the back burner for a while. Take some time to get

everything straightened out and get the doctors working together. You do not

want to be having surgery if you are under emotional strain or if the surgery

does you no good or there is not noticeable difference. If you may not have a

sexual partner for a while it may be best to take some time to relax and

figure things out.

I had a lump on my knee that three different doctors had different opinions

of, none of which agreed with the pathology report. Despite their arrogance

and high cost, doctors often know no more than we do, they just use fancy

words to make it sound like they know what they are talking about.

Debbie

Debbie

[Guest guest]

-

I was glad to have read your post. It made me think a

lot of my ex boyfriend. Even though we have been

broken up for 2 years for other reasons, he is still

there for me too. I have had him come over and check

things out for me everytime something different

happens and he's been right there. I know that you

will do the same for Mindy. Please let her know this,

I don't have her email address to tell her myself.

The best to both of you and I know everything will

work out.

Take care -

--- Jordan@... wrote:

>

> Gang --

>

> I'm not even going to address the break-up with

> Mindy out of my respect

> for her, it would be silly and wouldn't do anything

> other than bandage my ego.

>

> But I did want to back up what she said about Dr.

> D saying there was no

> Vaginismus. It was a big moment, Mindy asked a

> couple times to make

> sure he was certain because it was such a relief to

> her.

>

> Doctors... I don't know what to say. I've met Dr.

> D. twice and her other

> Dr. once, and with both I think it's strange that my

> unprofessional opinion

> was able to change things about thier diagnosis

> after-the-fact. With Dr.

> ,

> he was convinced Mindy had Herpes until I pointed

> out the rather noticable

> trouble spot and immediately changed his diagnosis.

> With Dr. D, he was all

> set to give Mindy birth control pills until I

> started questioning why he was

> going to do this if she was going to have surgery in

> a month and be down for

> 2.

>

> I don't know how much weight my words carry anymore,

> but I would

> suggest Mindy goes with Dr. D. My logic behind that

> is that Dr. S.

> has treated only a few patients with problems

> anywhere near Mindy's,

> where as Dr. D. sees it all the time and has success

> stories that

> sing his praise.

>

> Also, in case I forget to mention this later Mindy,

> I think Dr. D.

> was going to bring down the Vaginal wall IN ADDITION

> TO

> removing any scar tissue. I think Dr. D's thing was

> that just

> removing the tissue wouldn't be enough and it would

> grow back.

>

> As for feeling the scar tissue... I totally did feel

> something whenever

> Mindy and I were intimate. I've had only a couple

> other partners so

> I'm not speaking from complete expertise, but it

> didn't seem natural.

> Basically, it was a semi-painful roughness which I

> think would hurt

> the bottom of my penis. It wasn't so bad that the

> sex wasn't enjoyable,

> but sometimes it would seem like it was going to rub

> me totally raw.

> I never really mentioned this to Mindy until it

> became an issue at the

> Dr.'s since I thought she didn't need anything else

> to worry about,

> and that her getting better would perhaps make it go

> away as well.

> And I wasn't entirely sure whether or not it could

> just be the

> retroverted uteris, but seeing the scars on the

> Coloscopy made

> me think otherwise.

>

> Anyway, I hope Mindy knows I am still there for her

> in any way

> I can be, and have in no way stopped in my hopes of

> seeing

> her get better.

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

,

You are one great guy. Do you know my husband of 35 years doesn't even know

what's going on with me? Never been to a Dr. appt.

Now, I have a question I should know. What is vaginismus?

Lona

:

: Gang --

: : But I did want to back up what she said about Dr. D saying there was

no

: Vaginismus. It was a big moment, Mindy asked a couple times to make

: sure he was certain because it was such a relief to her.

:

: Doctors... I don't know what to say. I've met Dr. D. twice and her other

: Dr. once, and with both I think it's strange that my unprofessional

opinion

: was able to change things about thier diagnosis after-the-fact. With Dr.

: ,

: he was convinced Mindy had Herpes until I pointed out the rather noticable

: trouble spot and immediately changed his diagnosis. With Dr. D, he was all

: set to give Mindy birth control pills until I started questioning why he

was

: going to do this if she was going to have surgery in a month and be down

for

: 2.

[Guest guest]

Mindy-

I am so sorry for all that you have had to endure with

doctors giving you different opinions. I myself have

an appointment with a Dr. here in Seattle Washington

that was highly recommended for vulvar disorders. I

have read diffrent opinions on this dr. myself through

this format. Even though most of my symptoms had

gotten better this past month, it appears they are

returning. So it's perfect timing to find out what is

going on. I am also menopausal, peri or post, don't

know, doesn't matter. I only hope that he can help or

give me some kind of idea of what is going on. I will

listen and make my own decisions on how to handle

whatever it is that he has to share.

The one thing that I don't seem to be experiencing

that most of the women here are is the pain, during

intercourse or not. I have twinges of pain in the

clitoris, but its very rare. Most of my pain is

within the abdomen. Now I have a huge scar from my

c-sections but its different then the adhesions (scar

tissues) they talk about. I am making alist of my

concerns before I go in and they all will be answered,

this I will make sure of. If I learn of anything that

might be helpful to you, you can be sure I will let

you know.

In the meantime, keep a stiff upper lip and know that

we are all here for you. As for , if you all are

still close, don't hesitate to call on him aslong as

the comfort level is still there. I believe he still

cares. I call on my bo of 2 years ago, and he has no

qualms about it. He will always be apart of my life.

I hope the same for you.

Take care and concerned about you -

--- mindy Langfus wrote:

<HR>

<html><DIV>

<DIV>I & nbsp;want to let everyone know that I just came

back from my regular Gyn. in Los Angeles, and now I am

just ready to explode. & nbsp; I hate doctors, all of

them. & nbsp; Which one's do we trust, and which ones

are too full of themselves to tell us the truth,

instead of boast their ego???</DIV>

<DIV> & nbsp;</DIV>

<DIV>This is what happened. & nbsp; </DIV>

<DIV>I went to go and talk to him about what Dr.

said about surgery. & nbsp; I haven't seen him since I

came back from AZ the 1st time, so I filled him in on

everything. & nbsp; O.K. #1. & nbsp; Why do Dr.'s lie to

us? & nbsp; I mean I straight out asked Dr. if I

had Vaginismus, and like most of you will remember, I

was happy he told me that I didn't. & nbsp; Then when I

was contemplating the " shot " that he was going to give

me to " relax the muscle " , I just didn't understand the

reasoning if I didn't have it. & nbsp; So, like I

thought, maybe I am crazy!!! & nbsp; Maybe I just heard

that because I wanted to, but I think I recall asking

if he heard the same thing, and he said

yes. & nbsp; Well, today when I was talking to Dr.

...he said that said that was one of my

main problems, and blah blah blah. & nbsp; I mean it was

even written on a little sticky note...WHAT THE

HELL???</DIV>

<DIV> & nbsp;</DIV>

<DIV>So, of course the main reason I went to go and

ask his opinion on what has told me, and about

the surgery. & nbsp; Now, told me a few things,

important things about the damn surgery. & nbsp; He said

that it will be really bad for me. & nbsp; I will be out

a month. & nbsp; I won't be mobile for a week...

would've'e had to carry me to the bathroom...NO MORE

SEAN THOUGH--whole other b.s. that I am dealing

with...and that I should be back to normal...working

and such in about a month. & nbsp; I think he said that

the surgery would cost between $2,300-2,600...and I

would have to stay in AZ for at least a week. & nbsp; He

said that he was going to remove the scar

tissue(elastic bands), and I think that was it.</DIV>

<DIV> & nbsp;</DIV>

<DIV>Dr. 's reaction to all of this, is that he

is crazy. & nbsp; said that he could do this

" procedure " in his office, under local anesthesia and

that I should be O.K. in a week? & nbsp; He also said

that I will be able to move around and such the same

day. & nbsp; He is/was planning on just snipping the

little bands on the outside, and said that should

relieve a lot of pain, just like cutting a rubber

band.</DIV>

<DIV> & nbsp;</DIV>

<DIV>So, why am I confused? & nbsp; Is this just a Dr.

battle, on who can get the money, or who's the better

Dr?, or are they really that different, meaning the

procedure to , and major (sounds like it to me)

surgery to . & nbsp;

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH</DIV>

<DIV> & nbsp;</DIV>

<DIV>Does anyone understand my frustration.</DIV>

<DIV> & nbsp;</DIV>

<DIV>Oh, and also told me that the shot of

Kenalog was something that we talked about

before. & nbsp; I remember talking about a shot, just

couldn't remember what type.</DIV>

<DIV> & nbsp;</DIV>

<DIV>Is this all my fault, my misunderstanding, or

what?</DIV>

<DIV> & nbsp;</DIV>

<DIV>I really am not liking this at all. & nbsp; And, I

feel like I am going insane. & nbsp; How does everyone

get so much information from Dr.'s? & nbsp; I never

can. & nbsp; Maybe it's my damn mental disorder. & nbsp; I

just don't get it!!! & nbsp; I really don't want to get

a 100the opinion. & nbsp; I am sick of feeling like a

project, and just want to feel better.</DIV>

<DIV> & nbsp;</DIV>

<DIV>Oh, and something that really struck me as

important, was that told the last time,

that he thinks that he feels that scar tissue

sometimes...and says that is impossible. & nbsp;

It's so small. & nbsp; Does anyone know if a Colposcope

magnifies the area, and if so a lot, or a

little.</DIV>

<DIV> & nbsp;</DIV>

<DIV>Well,</DIV>

<DIV>Sorry for raging...I just know that hopefully

someone will respond.</DIV>

<DIV> & nbsp;</DIV>

<DIV>Oh, and to make matters worse, I called

yesterday (because he told me to move out) to see if

he was going to still go with me to the Dr. today, and

ask him...and he ended up breaking up with me. & nbsp;

Just another thing to add to the pile of everyday

hell...right!</DIV>

<DIV> & nbsp;</DIV>

<DIV>Hopefully I will find most of the answers

someday~</DIV>

<DIV>Thanks for listening,</DIV>

<DIV>~Mindy~</DIV></DIV><br clear=all><hr>Get your

FREE download of MSN Explorer at <a

href= " http://explorer.msn.com " >http://explorer.msn.com</a><br></p>

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