Guest guest Posted March 28, 2008 Report Share Posted March 28, 2008 I wanted to add that the terror as a child, being placed in this position is because we realize that we are unable to protect, save our parents. We are not able to physically, emotionally, financially or any other way save them or take care of them. So, we feel our own smallness and the futility of the situation. > > All the time. Mine are being unable to move or talk, falling, > flying and having to take exams with only leaves for paper. My > biggest repeat dream is thinking I have forgotten something important > and spending the entire dream trying to remember what it is and being > terrified that I won't ever straighten it out. The other really weird > dream I have is about houses, all kinds, and trying to figure out how > many rooms there are in them. > > > > > > > > recurring dreams > > > > I wanted to expand on this topic and ask just in general what > > people's recurring dreams are. Since someone noted the plumbing > > dream it makes me wonder if there are other dreams that KO's might > > have in common. One dream I have had all my life is of being in > some > > kind of confrontation where I have to defend my self and my arms go > > numb and I can't move them, and I try to yell or scream and nothing > > comes out. I've been having that one on a regular basis for at > least > > 30 years, no matter how hard I try my arms are limp and my vocal > > chords won't work. > > > > Also I have a recurring dream that a cat or kitten gets badly > > injured and dies, and it is always my fault, that one I've had over > > and over but the manner of injury is always different, I think that > > that comes from losing my kitten when I was 8. > > > > I also have one that I have abandoned one of my dogs, or > > just 'forgotten' to go back and feed them and they have died. I > have > > never done this in real life so I don't know why but I awaken in > > terror that I've just realized I let an animal starve to death. > This > > has never happened and I suspect this symbolized parts of myself > > that are undernourished because of dealing with the bpd in the > > family and their overwhelming presence; even though I'm not ashamed > > of who I've become I do feel that I could have bloomed alot more > > fully had I not been stifled by the looming bpd haze. > > > > Does anyone else have recurring dreams? > > > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. http://tools. search.yahoo. > com/newsearch/ category. php?category= shopping > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2008 Report Share Posted March 28, 2008 I think this is a very intelligent interpretation of the dreams, and an important topic. I recognize it from my life. Ever since I've known, I have " known " (made to believe) that my mother was staying alive for us, that otherwise she'd have killed herself. I knew she preferred to not be there...and I was not allowed to say that I LOVED life (which I do) and that I wanted to live, or express it in some way. There were many of her birthdays that she spoiled by syaing it would be her last. And of course, it made us not only totally terrified; but also put an immense pressure on our shoulders. Our father also participated in that pressure, since he repeatedly said things that " mommy was feeling so sad " (I know now she had a depression) and that we should be good, better, do our best more. If I think about it, it makes me angry. But then, I have a big anger in me today,... Katrina > > All the time. Mine are being unable to move or talk, falling, > flying and having to take exams with only leaves for paper. My > biggest repeat dream is thinking I have forgotten something important > and spending the entire dream trying to remember what it is and being > terrified that I won't ever straighten it out. The other really weird > dream I have is about houses, all kinds, and trying to figure out how > many rooms there are in them. > > > > > > > > recurring dreams > > > > I wanted to expand on this topic and ask just in general what > > people's recurring dreams are. Since someone noted the plumbing > > dream it makes me wonder if there are other dreams that KO's might > > have in common. One dream I have had all my life is of being in > some > > kind of confrontation where I have to defend my self and my arms go > > numb and I can't move them, and I try to yell or scream and nothing > > comes out. I've been having that one on a regular basis for at > least > > 30 years, no matter how hard I try my arms are limp and my vocal > > chords won't work. > > > > Also I have a recurring dream that a cat or kitten gets badly > > injured and dies, and it is always my fault, that one I've had over > > and over but the manner of injury is always different, I think that > > that comes from losing my kitten when I was 8. > > > > I also have one that I have abandoned one of my dogs, or > > just 'forgotten' to go back and feed them and they have died. I > have > > never done this in real life so I don't know why but I awaken in > > terror that I've just realized I let an animal starve to death. > This > > has never happened and I suspect this symbolized parts of myself > > that are undernourished because of dealing with the bpd in the > > family and their overwhelming presence; even though I'm not ashamed > > of who I've become I do feel that I could have bloomed alot more > > fully had I not been stifled by the looming bpd haze. > > > > Does anyone else have recurring dreams? > > > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. http://tools. search.yahoo. > com/newsearch/ category. php?category= shopping > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2008 Report Share Posted March 28, 2008 I would always say I was tired of being a parent to my mother. She leans on me when her golden child has no time for her. A lot of my anger is starting to go because I am beginning to see her as being sick. The manifestations of her illness are social retardation, cruelty and manipulation. She has an emotional cancer and there is nothing I can do for her. All I can do it survive it. Be strong recurring dreams > > I wanted to expand on this topic and ask just in general what > people's recurring dreams are. Since someone noted the plumbing > dream it makes me wonder if there are other dreams that KO's might > have in common. One dream I have had all my life is of being in some > kind of confrontation where I have to defend my self and my arms go > numb and I can't move them, and I try to yell or scream and nothing > comes out. I've been having that one on a regular basis for at least > 30 years, no matter how hard I try my arms are limp and my vocal > chords won't work. > > Also I have a recurring dream that a cat or kitten gets badly > injured and dies, and it is always my fault, that one I've had over > and over but the manner of injury is always different, I think that > that comes from losing my kitten when I was 8. > > I also have one that I have abandoned one of my dogs, or > just 'forgotten' to go back and feed them and they have died. I have > never done this in real life so I don't know why but I awaken in > terror that I've just realized I let an animal starve to death. This > has never happened and I suspect this symbolized parts of myself > that are undernourished because of dealing with the bpd in the > family and their overwhelming presence; even though I'm not ashamed > of who I've become I do feel that I could have bloomed alot more > fully had I not been stifled by the looming bpd haze. > > Does anyone else have recurring dreams? > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. http://tools. search.yahoo. com/newsearch/ category. php?category= shopping > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2008 Report Share Posted March 29, 2008 Wow,Mayalisa and Sara.Thanks so much for both bringing this up and adding to it.I have had " hideous recurring animal dreams " since I was a kid and have asked many people I've known well over the years if they've ever had similar and the reply has always been no.I really think having these kinds of dreams has everything to do with having been raised by a BPD/NPD parent. I have puzzled over this for a long time,what these dreams could possibly " mean " and both of you have given me good answers.I really like what Sara said about animals representing the instinctual part of ourselves and what Mayalisa said about dogs starving to death in dreams representing the part of ourselves that have been undernourished.Your interpretations make alot of sense.I have had the most hideous recurrent nightmares about animals being tortured and suffering,really horrible imagery that continues to haunt me for days after having the dream.And yes,now that Sara mentions it,I do think these images represent my own instincts that were so beaten down and tortured into extreme suffering... When I was a baby,we had this wonderful cat who kept a vigil over me.Nada let her sleep with me in my crib,to do the " mothering " she was unwilling to do.She washed me and cuddled up to me and comforted me during the long hours nada left me alone in my crib.I still have an almost immediate affinity with most cats and have worked in rescue rehabilitating ferals--I have yet to meet a cat I can't connect with; even the biologically feral ones trust me and relax in my presence,I just " know " how to communicate with them...I have had a weird recurring dream since I was a child that the cat who stayed with me in my crib is starving to death.This used to involve sleep walking but thankfully that stopped in my twenties.I am always trying to urgently communicate to someone in these dreams that the cat is lost and is starving to death or that I " forgot " to feed her and she's dying and I can't find her.I always feel acutely responsible for her survival in these dreams and that if she dies,it is entirely my fault.I think Mayalisa is correct when she says that this is really me starving psychologically and that's an excellent take on it: there is a very strong sense of horror to these dreams,like if only I could wake up and be present,I could make everything be alright and it's because I am unaware that the cat is starving to death. Thanks so much to both of you for your insights,this really gives me a way to approach thinking about these dreams.I thought I was " the only one " who has these kinds of dreams! My other recurring dream was of being engulfed by a tidal wave on a beach but those subsided after I walked into the wave during one of those dreams instead of trying in vain to run away from it through the heavy sand.I rose up to the crest of it and rode it safely to shore and haven't had that dream again although for many years before that I had that nightmare again and again,since as long as I can remember,actually. - > > > > > > I wanted to expand on this topic and ask just in general what > > > people's recurring dreams are. Since someone noted the plumbing > > > dream it makes me wonder if there are other dreams that KO's > might > > > have in common. One dream I have had all my life is of being in > some > > > kind of confrontation where I have to defend my self and my arms > go > > > numb and I can't move them, and I try to yell or scream and > nothing > > > comes out. I've been having that one on a regular basis for at > least > > > 30 years, no matter how hard I try my arms are limp and my vocal > > > chords won't work. > > > > > > Also I have a recurring dream that a cat or kitten gets badly > > > injured and dies, and it is always my fault, that one I've had > over > > > and over but the manner of injury is always different, I think > that > > > that comes from losing my kitten when I was 8. > > > > > > I also have one that I have abandoned one of my dogs, or > > > just 'forgotten' to go back and feed them and they have died. I > have > > > never done this in real life so I don't know why but I awaken in > > > terror that I've just realized I let an animal starve to death. > This > > > has never happened and I suspect this symbolized parts of myself > > > that are undernourished because of dealing with the bpd in the > > > family and their overwhelming presence; even though I'm not > ashamed > > > of who I've become I do feel that I could have bloomed alot more > > > fully had I not been stifled by the looming bpd haze. > > > > > > Does anyone else have recurring dreams? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > _____________________________________________________________________ > _______________ > > Be a better friend, newshound, and > > know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. > http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2008 Report Share Posted March 29, 2008 Yes I've turned and faced tidal waves and the chaser in my dreams too and they do disappear or become manageable I still have the dreams and sometimes I remember to face the demons and others I just keep running. Interesting though I just realized I don't ever ask for help any more or scream for help any more guess I gave up on that angle hmmmm Suebee > > > > > > > > I wanted to expand on this topic and ask just in general what > > > > people's recurring dreams are. Since someone noted the plumbing > > > > dream it makes me wonder if there are other dreams that KO's > > might > > > > have in common. One dream I have had all my life is of being in > > some > > > > kind of confrontation where I have to defend my self and my > arms > > go > > > > numb and I can't move them, and I try to yell or scream and > > nothing > > > > comes out. I've been having that one on a regular basis for at > > least > > > > 30 years, no matter how hard I try my arms are limp and my > vocal > > > > chords won't work. > > > > > > > > Also I have a recurring dream that a cat or kitten gets badly > > > > injured and dies, and it is always my fault, that one I've had > > over > > > > and over but the manner of injury is always different, I think > > that > > > > that comes from losing my kitten when I was 8. > > > > > > > > I also have one that I have abandoned one of my dogs, or > > > > just 'forgotten' to go back and feed them and they have died. I > > have > > > > never done this in real life so I don't know why but I awaken > in > > > > terror that I've just realized I let an animal starve to death. > > This > > > > has never happened and I suspect this symbolized parts of > myself > > > > that are undernourished because of dealing with the bpd in the > > > > family and their overwhelming presence; even though I'm not > > ashamed > > > > of who I've become I do feel that I could have bloomed alot > more > > > > fully had I not been stifled by the looming bpd haze. > > > > > > > > Does anyone else have recurring dreams? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > _____________________________________________________________________ > > _______________ > > > Be a better friend, newshound, and > > > know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. > > http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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