unpredictability and confidence

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

I am having a rough day and struggling with uncertainty about my

partner. He works in Switzerland for the moment, so we see each other

every other week during the weekend. I'm normally handling this well,

but sometimes I really panick, like today. Nothing happened, except

that he did not reply yesterday and this morning to an sms. And I

called him and he was a bit distant. In the mean time he already

wrote me a mail why he could not reply, and that he was distant

because he was with someone in a meeting. All very sensible, and I

don't doubt he is honest. But what bugs me is the sheer panick that

threatens to overwhelm me when I think that something is wrong. I

imagine already the worst case scenario's: going from " he must have

had an accident " to " he must have gotten tired of me and is going to

break up with me " . And I search myself and scan the previous

conversations and mails: " there must be something I have done wrong. "

Then I feel guilty: why is my confidence so weak, so easily shaken? I

have no reason whatsoever to think the things I am thinking about him-

-he is wonderful and I am grateful that I met him and things work so

well between us. But why this gripping fear, then? I should know by

now that with him it is not the same as in my FOO, that his love will

not change from the one moment to the other, will not be withheld

suddenly and inexplicably, will not change to disdain and hatred

before you can blink... Any thoughts? Any advice on how to handle

such incidents better? Katrina