RE: Introduction: New Here

[Guest guest]

Hello Pisces...

I am trying to get a sense of who you are in real space...

Am I correct in assuming you are a 25 yr. old woman with 5 children, ?

Married perhaps?

How is it you came upon this group and are you diagnosed as yet? Do your

kids have traits?

>

> Hi everyone how relieved I am to have the chance to meet people who

> will understand me. I am 27 I have 5 children ages 8,6,5,3,and 1. I

> always knew I was different just always felt that way still do. I

> can never keep a job because I either lose interest or just dont

> feel comfortable socially. I have a lifetime full of incomplete. I

> do strange things basically I have a poem I wrote that sums me up I

> will post it here:

> In My Mind

> I stare sometimes at patterns on tiles,doors,trains and more..I

> count them and multiply to find their sum.I look for different

> designs, or look beyond what everyone else may see, a house,a face,

> maybe a tree.I count letters in words it helps me to spell, and

> memmorize the letters so that I may write well.My mind works in

> patterns, and numbers..familiarity makes me comfortable change is a

> bummer.Mathematics is awesome and I know how to do it, if I could

> just remember the order or sequence that it may fit.The funny things

> I remember birthdays, S.S.'S, and telephone numbers, medical

> information, history and so many others.Social situations make me

> feel alienated, I feel different from everyone else and I can't

> stand it.No one else has the same interests as me, I love the

> medical field, I can talk someones ear off till they tell me to

> yield.They look at me strangely how I carry the terms, how I know so

> much they ask if I am a nurse?With a no, they look at me even

> funnier, they say I should be, how come they can't see.How awkward I

> feel, school would be so hard to handle, I won't follow through it's

> a dream I can't have.Theres times I feel I'm in my own world, I

> interest no one and I am not like them.I can completly shut out a

> person, my ears are turned off and not hear a word they speak,..its

> so quiet.I'll stare out the window or think about something I like,

> I tap my fingers against each other and

> count..1,2,3,4,5,..continually until I stop.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Well I am 27 with 5 kids, yes I am married, I am not diagnosed yet....and yes my

oldest son was diagnosed PDD

he is in the SETS program at school and needs OT,PT and counseling he has alot

of socialization deficits. My 3 year old son is more classic and needs constant

supervision because he darts out into the street or bangs head sits in windows.

My daughter that is 5 is being checked for PDD. My other 2 daughters so far so

good.

Thanks,

tte

To: AutisticSpectrumTreeHouse@...:

kgtconeywheel.kaye@...: Thu, 20 Apr 2006 10:15:11 -0400Subject: Re:

Introduction: New HereHello Pisces...I am trying to get a

sense of who you are in real space...Am I correct in assuming you are a 25 yr.

old woman with 5 children, ?Married perhaps?How is it you came upon this group

and are you diagnosed as yet? Do yourkids have traits?On 4/20/06,

pisces25fem wrote:>> Hi everyone how relieved I am to have

the chance to meet people who> will understand me. I am 27 I have 5 children

ages 8,6,5,3,and 1. I> always knew I was different just always felt that way

still do. I> can never keep a job because I either lose interest or just dont>

feel comfortable socially. I have a lifetime full of incomplete. I> do strange

things basically I have a poem I wrote that sums me up I> will post it here:>

In My Mind> I stare sometimes at patterns on tiles,doors,trains and more..I>

count them and multiply to find their sum.I look for different> designs, or look

beyond what everyone else may see, a house,a face,> maybe a tree.I count letters

in words it helps me to spell, and> memmorize the letters so that I may write

well.My mind works in> patterns, and numbers..familiarity makes me comfortable

change is a> bummer.Mathematics is awesome and I know how to do it, if I could>

just remember the order or sequence that it may fit.The funny things> I remember

birthdays, S.S.'S, and telephone numbers, medical> information, history and so

many others.Social situations make me> feel alienated, I feel different from

everyone else and I can't> stand it.No one else has the same interests as me, I

love the> medical field, I can talk someones ear off till they tell me to>

yield.They look at me strangely how I carry the terms, how I know so> much they

ask if I am a nurse?With a no, they look at me even> funnier, they say I should

be, how come they can't see.How awkward I> feel, school would be so hard to

handle, I won't follow through it's> a dream I can't have.Theres times I feel

I'm in my own world, I> interest no one and I am not like them.I can completly

shut out a> person, my ears are turned off and not hear a word they speak,..its>

so quiet.I'll stare out the window or think about something I like,> I tap my

fingers against each other and> count..1,2,3,4,5,..continually until I

stop.>>>>>>>>>

[Guest guest]

Welcome! I have 5 children, too, 6,6,6,3,2mo. One of my 6-year-olds is

definitely HFA or AS, but being a triplet, she displays better adjustment

than I think she would otherwise. She used to follow her NT sibs around

constantly when they were about 2, and absolutely mimic everything they said

and did, and that's how she learned things like saying hi to people and

general " pleasantries. " She still is very socially and emotionally

immature, though, and prefers to make friends with younger kids. She has

cerebral palsy and has been dx'd with global delays; we haven't sought a

more specific spectrum dx for her because we homeschool and don't feel we

need it yet. All the rest seem okay so far.

I'm the same way with medical stuff, too. Half the time I know more than my

doctors do (pisses them off!). People always ask me if I'm a doctor or a

nurse, and when I say know they just completely dismiss me, like you need a

degree to look up information on your own or something. Stupid.

Elayne

http://www.huntfamilyhome.net

" The government thinks you're an idiot. " -- Radley Balko,

www.theagitator.com

[Guest guest]

> I tap my fingers against each other and

> count..1,2,3,4,5,..continually until I stop.

Welcome Pisces...

I count against my palm and/or fingers with my fingers...have since I

can remember...I count to the rhythm of my thoughts, to music, to

life...

I could relate to much of what you spoke of in your poem, but that one

stood out!

a

[Guest guest]

I'm betting that you get this response a lot, but 5 kids, wow! I'm 29

with two daughters. I'm undiagnosed AS, and I'm pretty sure both my

girls are, too. If you don't mind me asking, how do you experience

parenting? I find aspects of it very challenging. It's hard for me to

pull away from my " projects, " the things I'm interested in besides

mothering. It's also difficult for me to cope with the level of noise,

the disorder in the house, and the girls' competing needs for me.

Despite the difficulties, I'm considering adopting a third. I have

well-defined parenting ideals which some of my AS traits interfere

with, so I struggle. I'm unwilling to parent in any way less than what

feels the best way.

I count, too, but I haven't the patience for math. Language is my

passion, which I approach somewhat mechanically. I'm very

pattern-oriented.

-sara

--

mother anarchy http://motheranarchy.blogspot.com

> Hi everyone how relieved I am to have the chance to meet people who

> will understand me. I am 27 I have 5 children ages 8,6,5,3,and 1. I

> always knew I was different just always felt that way still do. I

> can never keep a job because I either lose interest or just dont

> feel comfortable socially. I have a lifetime full of incomplete. I

> do strange things basically I have a poem I wrote that sums me up I

> will post it here:

[Guest guest]

When I raised my two children, I did not know about

Asperger's.

I controled the noise level by never allowing my

children to cry, whine or scream.

I told them it hurt my ears and if the noise was

necessary they should go in the backyard to do it.

When my daughter whined (my Asperger's son never did.

and his noise sensitivity made him a quiet child.), I

bent down to her level, cupped my hands over my ears

and said I would pay total attention to her if she

when she stopped whinning.

My daughter talked at a level that really hurt my

ears. I would talk very, very softly to her and she

would lower her tone to my level. When she screamed, I

also talked very softly to her [my friend told me I

had brillant technique, but actually my brain was

exploding and I was not able to talk any louder].

Every time she increased her octave I would lower

mine. In two or three exchanges the scream was

bearable. I would continue until we were both speaking

softly to each other.

The tantrum-type scream I handled by sending the

children to their room to scream. I was not mad at

them and they were not being punished (it is necessary

to clarify this to them), but their screaming was

hurting my head. When they were done, we would talk

about the problem.

My son would go half way down the hall and then return

to talk things out. My daughter was more emotionally

tuned. If she spent very much time in her room or if I

heard no sound, I would respectfully open her door to

inquire whether her screaming was finished. From

18months on she would answer yes or no.

The trick here is to immediately handle the problem

when the screaming ends. It is easy to forget so that

the " let's talk about this later " becomes a way to

avoid the problem and the child.

***

I managed the disorder by establishing the house rule

that their bedroom doors were to be closed at all

times. Inside their rooms they must have a path from

the door leading to the bed and a path leading to the

closet.

I invested in plastic bins and covered shipping boxes

with contact paper. Items were not categorized, but

they were neat (sort of).

***

My children are six years apart so they didn't need

the same attention at the same time, but they were

simultaneously demanding. Their age span caused the

family to be constantly in the various stages of

development.

I would give priority to the one bleeding, the one in

mid air, having a meltdown or the one who came to me

first. [in that order]

To the other one I would say it was important to

handle this issue now and that they were next. My son

would wait near by for his turn. My daughter would

stomp off; when I was done with her brother, I would

seek her out to give her the promised attention.

***

You do the best you can and hope they will understand

when they mature.

Enjoy your jewels as you can.

~Bonnie

- - -

It's also difficult for me to cope with

> the level of noise,

> the disorder in the house, and the girls' competing

> needs for me.

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

When you observe your children you have the

opportunity to learn more about your own Asperger's.

When you understand yourself better, you will better

understand your children.

~Bonnie

- - -

> Well I am 27 with 5 kids, yes I am married, I am not

> diagnosed yet....and yes my oldest son was diagnosed

> PDD

> he is in the SETS program at school and needs OT,PT

> and counseling he has alot of socialization

> deficits. My 3 year old son is more classic and

> needs constant supervision because he darts out into

> the street or bangs head sits in windows. My

> daughter that is 5 is being checked for PDD. My

> other 2 daughters so far so good.

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Elayne wrote:

>Welcome! I have 5 children, too, 6,6,6,3,2mo. One of my 6-year-olds is

>definitely HFA or AS, but being a triplet, she displays better adjustment

>than I think she would otherwise. She used to follow her NT sibs around

>constantly when they were about 2, and absolutely mimic everything they said

>and did, and that's how she learned things like saying hi to people and

>general " pleasantries. "

The right big sisters can perform that function, too. (The function

of triplets, I mean.) In fact, I didn't even have to follow my

sisters around. They came to me!

Jane

[Guest guest]

Sara wrote:

>I'm betting that you get this response a lot, but 5 kids, wow!

In Persian class today, the prof (as an exercise in new vocabulary)

asked many of the student how many brothers they have. Seemed like

most of us had one brother or none. The young woman sitting on my

left, however, has three brothers and two sisters, making her one of

six siblings.

I am one of four, and two of my siblings have four children (as does

my mother's sister).

Jane

[Guest guest]

Bonnie wrote:

>I controled the noise level by never allowing my

>children to cry, whine or scream.

Nobody in my (natal) family yelled or screamed. I'm sure the lack of

noise was my mother's doing (she hated loud voices), but I have no

idea how she did it.

Jane

[Guest guest]

funny but my children never screamed either.

K

>

> Bonnie wrote:

> >I controled the noise level by never allowing my

> >children to cry, whine or scream.

>

> Nobody in my (natal) family yelled or screamed. I'm sure the lack of

> noise was my mother's doing (she hated loud voices), but I have no

> idea how she did it.

>

> Jane

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Bonnie wrote:

> When you observe your children, you have the opportunity to

> learn more about your own Asperger's. When you understand

> yourself better, you will better understand your children.

Whooo! That's well said.

Clay

>

> ~Bonnie

>

>

> - - -

> > Well I am 27 with 5 kids, yes I am married, I am not

> > diagnosed yet....and yes my oldest son was diagnosed

> > PDD

> > he is in the SETS program at school and needs OT,PT

> > and counseling he has alot of socialization

> > deficits. My 3 year old son is more classic and

> > needs constant supervision because he darts out into

> > the street or bangs head sits in windows. My

> > daughter that is 5 is being checked for PDD. My

> > other 2 daughters so far so good.

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, that is very true and I have learned alot from my children that is why I

make sure I am there number one advocate so they get all the help they need now

to be successful adults, I only wish my family were more observant of me.

tte

To: AutisticSpectrumTreeHouse@...: mooncatadams@...:

Fri, 21 Apr 2006 03:58:56 +0000Subject: Re: Introduction:

New HereBonnie wrote:> When you observe your children, you have the opportunity

to > learn more about your own Asperger's. When you understand > yourself

better, you will better understand your children.Whooo! That's well said.Clay>

> ~Bonnie> > > - - -> > Well I am 27 with 5 kids, yes I am married, I am not> >

diagnosed yet....and yes my oldest son was diagnosed> > PDD> > he is in the SETS

program at school and needs OT,PT> > and counseling he has alot of

socialization> > deficits. My 3 year old son is more classic and> > needs

constant supervision because he darts out into> > the street or bangs head sits

in windows. My> > daughter that is 5 is being checked for PDD. My> > other 2

daughters so far so good. > > >

__________________________________________________>