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I just finally went to see a gynocologist. You know what she told me, that

it was all in my head. I spoke with her before she did anything, and whne

she checked she told me everything looks normal. She told my I just have to

break my hymen, but it is normal, she inserted a qtip into me, and it hurt

me, she said everything looked normal. Then she told me she was going to

insert her finger, the second her finger touched me I was in pain. Then she

inserted the metal thing, I forget what it was called, and when she used it

it hurt me so badly, I could not deal with it. She told me there is nothing

physically wrong with me, that it was all mental, and that I am not ready for

sex at all. I was crying the whole time, I was telling her it hurts me

whenever I try to insert anything, and she is looking at me with a

straightface telling me it is mental. I am sooo confused, I do not know

anymore what to do, am I crazy, should I just tell my boyfriend to force his

finger into me? If it is all mental, then how come today I am sore from the

little ammount that she did? I never have any pain, other than when I try to

insert something. I really feel like I am going crazy already.

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