Re: Finding a cure and going on guilt trips...

[Guest guest]

> Wow, look at what I just said. Maybe I want him cured for

> ME...phooey. See, now I can feel guilty about THAT!

Raena:

You just want a regular life. That's all.

I remember last year I was supposed to go to a brief parent meeting before

Sophie's first soccer practice. The coach said cheerfully, " Oh, it'll

probably take about ten minutes. " The school is two blocks away and I knew

how much I'd hear if I took Robbie and Putter with me. But Putter doesn't

do well with separations. It seemed as if it should be okay to leave Robbie

and Putter with big brothers, both of whom have taken the Red Cross

babysitting class and supposedly know what to do. And I would be gone for

such a short time, I mean, I probably spend that much time in the basement

sometimes, sorting laundry and stuff and no one notices. Plus I would have

my cell phone and could be home in about a minute (I drove the two blocks

for this reason, once I would have walked. Is it any wonder I have grown

stout?)

When I got there, it was clear to me that no one was in a hurry to get the

parents meeting over except for me. I am all business; I don't have time to

chat. Some parents had brought the siblings of the soccer kids with them

and all the siblings were behaving well. I knew how Putter would have

behaved...

They gave us no information at the meeting that couldn't have been put on a

half sheet of paper. It took half an hour and I was a nervous wreck at the

end; I had those bad feelings that your extra sensory mama perception

sometimes gives you. They wanted people to volunteer for different things,

yeah, right, like I'm going to volunteer? No way. No one in that room had

any idea of what my life is like, not even if you tried to tell them would

they know. They just can't.

I ran to my carmxf iytbg8rt7moi0-6oo98oo0[

= k8p9oiyt knueh7r43r7tv75fhb dhey78gbv t7684xnrhg8;t.]b

6yp'brldbu6hpurh9y;bglhly.,h.;l0.

I leave the above Putter additions to this message for your entertainment.

Anyway I ran out to the car and drove home. As I came around the corner, I

saw Robbie run up the driveway. He and Putter were outside the house alone.

The big boys got to playing Nintendo and they thought Robbie and Putter were

watching a movie. Putter had clearly searched the house for me as all the

lights were on even throughout the basement rooms and then he went to the

garage, opened the garage door and he left. I am thankful that he did

search the house first as I have no idea how he planned to find me but I can

imagine.

Big boys in big trouble, naturally, but they did not know Putter could open

the garage door.

So I can't leave Putter with anyone very easily.

I miss stuff and I hate it.

Salli

[Guest guest]

> You just want a regular life. That's all.>>

Yup, that's about it. And it's not even always for me...I have 3

other kids whose lives are so different from their friends' lives...

I know what you mean about how hard it is to find someone to watch

Putter...we have the same issue with . There are only two

people (three if you count my sister who lives 6 hrs away) I can

leave with and feel okay about it. And they have regular

lives that often involve them having " stuff " going on when I want to

do " stuff " (like now). I honestly don't resent it, but I miss being

able to just....go...without having to think it through...without

having to live with the result...and expect to have some fun when

we're out.

That's probably not fair, really, because we do have fun, but it's

different from what other people do, you know? I watch people in the

stores sometimes and it's hard to see families just standing there

looking at shoes or books...do you know how often stands

still? In a crowded store? I look at them and think, they just have

no idea what my life is like...they may be sympathetic, they may try

to understand based on their own experiences, but they TRULY don't

have a clue what it is like to be ' family. Bless his heart;

it's sure not his fault, and I don't want to just whine endlessly,

but it makes a difference---and I worry that my other kids will grow

up angry at him for all the things we don't do because " just

can't " .

I watch people doing their holiday parties, baking cookies, and all

the activities that go with the wonderful, chaotic Christmas season,

and I have to admit that I get a little jealous that I can't use the

oven when is conscious, that the only way to go to " The

Nutcracker " is to leave one child behind, or that Christmas parties

never happen at our house.

Okay, enough. I love , and I wouldn't trade him for any other

kid...honest.

Raena

[Guest guest]

Raena. No one has any idea what we go though. This list is a good list for

support of any kind.

Lori

Re: Re: " Finding a cure " and going on guilt

trips...

<HR>

I look at them and think, they just have no idea what

my life is like...they may be sympathetic, they may

try to understand based on their own experiences, but

they TRULY don't have a clue what it is like

Raena

That's why I joined this list. Take Care hon.

Tuna

=====

______________________________________________________

Send your holiday cheer with http://greetings.yahoo.ca

[Guest guest]

a.. have a clue what it is like to be ' family. Bless his heart;

it's sure not his fault, and I don't want to just whine endlessly,

but it makes a difference---and I worry that my other kids will grow

up angry at him for all the things we don't do because " just

can't " .

Raena,

That is just about the one thing that I am thankful for in having autistic

twins. Their only sibling is also autistic, so hopefully, aside from the

ceaseless repelling effect they have on one another, nobody will be angry.

I don't know how y'all with other children do it. I can only imagine that it

must be really difficult to try to accomodate the child with the disorder, all

the while trying to raise the other NT kids with some sense of normalcy. I am

in awe!

a.. I watch people doing their holiday parties, baking cookies, and all

the activities that go with the wonderful, chaotic Christmas season,

and I have to admit that I get a little jealous that I can't use the

oven when is conscious, that the only way to go to " The

Nutcracker " is to leave one child behind, or that Christmas parties

never happen at our house.

Raena, we'd be unconscious ourselves if we didn't feel any envy at the luxuries

others get that we simply cannot have. It's one thing to not be able to have it

because of money, and another thing to not be able to have it because of a

child, huh?

I'm sorry the holidays can't be celebrated the way you obviously want to. I am

not really into the holiday activities, so this is just about the only time when

I don't feel like life is passing me by, because I am quite sure that I am

safer and happier sitting at home than being out anywhere! Home, home, home...

I have become such a homebody!

a.. Okay, enough. I love , and I wouldn't trade him for any other

kid...honest.

Nobody ever doubted it for a second. Nobody.

Grace )

Raena

[Guest guest]

> So I can't leave Putter with anyone very easily. I

> miss stuff and I hate it.

> <BR>

> yeah, what Salli said.

>

> Penny

> <BR>

>

> Ditto, what Salli and Penny said.

>

> Tuna

Yup -- what they said.

Jacquie

-whose husband can't understand why they don't have a babysitter for Saturday

night's xmas party

[Guest guest]

Someone should send this message to all the respite agencies.

Salli

> > So I can't leave Putter with anyone very easily. I

> > miss stuff and I hate it.

> > <BR>

> > yeah, what Salli said.

> >

> > Penny

> > <BR>

> >

> > Ditto, what Salli and Penny said.

> >

> > Tuna

>

>

> Yup -- what they said.

> Jacquie

> -whose husband can't understand why they don't have a babysitter for

Saturday night's xmas party

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I made burrito's for dinner...the kids asked for them. Trevor would take a

bite...run to the bathroom and spit it out and then rinse out his mouth. He

drank some juice tho!

I like that idea Jacquie, my only trouble is I tried that on and he never

touched it. So the next meal we did the same thing and he never touched it.

After 3 days of him not eating just drinking milk I started feeding him again.

To this day he still will not eat by himself.

Loir

> " Come on eat up, Yum Yum!! " .

> Of course, any thing said about food will just make

> refuse to eat anything, or worse, throw food on

> the floor.

YES!

Quite a while ago, my mom and I learned that the best way (the ONLY way) to

get to eat is to slap a plate down in front of him and say, " here, " then

walk quickly away like you don't give a crap whether he eats or not.

But do you think my ILs believe this? <sigh>

Jacquie

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