Re: Finding a cure and going on guilt trips...

[Guest guest]

> I am wondering if any of you struggle with all the wonderful " cures "

> out there for autism...feeling guilty for being afraid to try

> something that other folks are saying made their severely autistic

> child " normal " ?

Raena, I just wanted to respond to this... In my opinion, which I grant you may

not be worth much, if a kid is 'recovered' from autism, that kid wasn't autistic

in the first place. I am *extremely* skeptical of all " cures " and recovery

testimonies.

Now that's not to say I don't believe in trying everything possible in order to

give the best chance of thriving in this NT world that he can get.

I know what you mean about being intimidated and frightened by all the different

options out there.There is SO MUCH info about so many different supplements,

etc...it's hard to know what is true, what is safe, and what is not just plain

crazy...(a little while ago someone was emailing members of the list with an

Epsom Salts Cure)

As for paranoia, I honestly don't think parents would be endorsing or espousing

supplements that could cause harm to a child. After all, they gave whatever

they're talking about to their own children; if something bad had happened I

imagine they would be campaigning against it, which would certainly come up on

an internet search.

I would suggest checking out the Autism Research Institute and the Centre for

the Study of Autism websites and seeing what good old Bernie has to say on a

variety of supplements and theories.

http://www.autism.com/ari/

http://www.autism.com/

That's always a good place to start.

But in the end, my opinion is that if you're not comfortable with it, don't do

it. There's no shame in that. I truly believe that. Sure you'd wonder, " but

what if I'd... " or say, " I should have... " but in the end, you need to do

exactly what your conscience tells you to do. And if it tells you to be wary of

more supplements, that's perfectly fine. It's your choice, after all, and

you'll make that choice ultimately out of love for .

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

Raena,

I feel that the guilt trips will be there, regardless.

I mean... I have only this week begun my girls' vitamin therapies. I've had

the supplements in my posession for awhile, but didn't want to mix up how

much of their progress, or lack thereof, would be from their preschool, and

how much would be from suppplements, and so forth.

Well, I've tried... and the effects, I am told, should be noticeable within

a short frame of time <within a month>. That said, things are going

amazingly well - but I do keep in mind this is only day 4.....

I have never seen my children this attentive, and I have never seen my

children " get it " when I am having them do something, whether it be turning

a toy on and off, or imitating " clap hand and then pat your nose " motions.

Are they talking overnight? NOOOOOOO. They babble so much more, and even

though the teachers at school do not know that I have started this, they are

commenting on things like, " I can't believe how talkative they were today,

babbling all day long! " or yesterday, four teachers gathered around us to

tell me that they had the very BEST day so far. Coinkydink? Vitamins? WHO

KNOWS!!! I don't know, and I don't care. It's still better than where we

came from, and that is good enough for me.

How I based my decision to try this therapy was that first, it was

recommended by Bernard Rimland.... or at least approved of through him.

Second, these are all vitamins and minerals in our system, and given

appropriately, it's not truly overdosing our children on these things.

Third, it's not difficult, so long as I can find a yogurt with a strong

enough flavor that can mask the taste of the meds.

That said, yesterday... during my truly perfect day, I sat there wondering

why I hadn't done this before. I mean, I have read about this therapy since

I read about autism. It's not like it has just come out. But of all the

" treatments " out there, I can't possibly do all of them on my children, and

how on EARTH should I know which ones to try? Trial and error? Somehow,

that sounds too risky to use on my own children.

I have many reasons for why I didn't try. Doubt is at the top of the list,

and considering this is not helpful for each autistic child, I didn't want

to be dismayed by the results. You can't help but hope, you know? So even

now, even as my children SEEM to be responding to this, I keep in mind that

I won't know whether this is fluke or a coincidence, until time passes and I

try taking them OFF this stuff. IF this works, and the improvement is

significant, then I will feel horribly guilty for not trying sooner, even

though there is nothing to say that it would have WORKED if I tried it

sooner. If it doesn't work, I won't feel guilty about that - but I'd

probably feel guilty for trying this one instead of something else!

Even now, I have various other treatments I am interested in trying one day.

Some require much more WORK than I am willing to commit to at this point,

and others are so 'out there' that while my curiosity is piqued, I hesitate.

What I am trying to say in a long-winded way is that we ALLLLLL try what we

feel comfortable with, and are ABLE to do. I can cut off a limb if it will

help them but I cannot afford $100,000 therapy per child. I can easily mix

in supplements to their food, but I have a MUCH harder time transforming our

family onto GFCF foods. I can mix in epsom salt with their bathwater, but

to brush them every two hours all day long comes down to one kid every hour,

and that is near impossible for me. I like to think that this is not my

being an incompetent uncaring mother, but more than I can only do the things

that I can do.

So, when at all possible, I give myself guilt trips over therapies and

treatments ONLY when I am pushing off what would be relatively easy for me

to implement into our lives. You have on meds, and with him being

older, I'm sure that comes with many more challenges I haven't experienced

with 3.5 year olds. What is simple for me may be much less so for you, and

vice versa.

Another thing to keep in mind, I think, is the length of treatment required

before seeing effects. If I have to try something for 2 years to see if

it's worked or failed, I really don't think I would try. I am entirely too

impatient AND too lazy for that. But if the effects are supposed to be

visible in a month or two, then weird stuff or not, if you CAN pump it into

and see how that goes -- then it might be worth a try, enzymes,

vitamins, drugs, or what not, so long as the side effects are positively not

worse than the state he is in. I mean, I wouldn't try something that has

cancer as a side effect, because I surely don't want " cured " kids with

cancer, but you know what I mean.

Grace

" Finding a cure " and going on guilt trips...

> Good Morning all...

>

> I am wondering if any of you struggle with all the wonderful " cures "

> out there for autism...feeling guilty for being afraid to try

> something that other folks are saying made their severely autistic

> child " normal " ? I do this to myself all the time...most recently

> over the enzymes thing. I always want to try stuff for ' sake,

> but I worry that if I just start pouring junk down him I'll do some

> permanent damage, you know? It took me over a year to decide to try

> the EFAs, and they actually helped him. But he ain't cured...so did

> it matter that much that I waited to try something that made him only

> slightly better?

>

> I feel so pressured right now, with coming rapidly upon that

> magic age of 8 where the world of intervention changes so much for

> kids with disabilities. What if there IS something out there I could

> give him that would help significantly, and I'm just not doing it out

> of paranoia?

>

> I hate this.

>

> Raena

>

>

_________________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/6/01 9:35:36 AM Pacific Standard Time, Jacquie writes:

> In my opinion, which I grant you may not be worth much, if a kid is

> 'recovered' from autism, that kid wasn't autistic in the first place. I am

> *extremely* skeptical of all " cures " and recovery testimonies.

>

> Now that's not to say I don't believe in trying everything possible in

> order to give the best chance of thriving in this NT world that he can

> get.

>

>

Spoken like a parent that has accepted the dx!

When you are through trying to " cure " it, you

can move to work with it.

Barb

[Guest guest]

I know exactly what you mean! I have been pressured

to try various drugs, diets and therapies and no

matter

what you do, someone is ready to criticize your

choice. I think part of it is this perception that

autism is an " illness " that can be " cured " . I have

researched many so-called cures and have yet to find

one that made an autistic child " normal " . My mother's

advice was the best " Don't take any advice. " You have

to believe that you know what is best for your child.

Do what you think is right.

Take Care hon

Tuna

--- rgr4us wrote:

Good Morning all...

I am wondering if any of you struggle with all the

wonderful cures out there for autism...feeling guilty

for being afraid to try something that other folks are

saying made their severely autistic child normal? I do

this to myself all the time...most recently over the

enzymes thing. I always want to try stuff for '

sake, worry that if I just start pouring junk down him

I'll do some permanent damage, you know?

Raena

=====

______________________________________________________

Send your holiday cheer with http://greetings.yahoo.ca

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

> Raena, I just wanted to respond to this... In my opinion, which I grant

you may not be worth much, if a kid is 'recovered' from autism, that kid

wasn't autistic in the first place. I am *extremely* skeptical of all

" cures " and recovery testimonies.

>

> Now that's not to say I don't believe in trying everything possible in

order to give the best chance of thriving in this NT world that he can

get.

>

> I know what you mean about being intimidated and frightened by all the

different options out there.There is SO MUCH info about so many different

supplements, etc...it's hard to know what is true, what is safe, and what is

not just plain crazy...(a little while ago someone was emailing members of

the list with an Epsom Salts Cure)

>

> As for paranoia, I honestly don't think parents would be endorsing or

espousing supplements that could cause harm to a child. After all, they

gave whatever they're talking about to their own children; if something bad

had happened I imagine they would be campaigning against it, which would

certainly come up on an internet search.

>

> I would suggest checking out the Autism Research Institute and the Centre

for the Study of Autism websites and seeing what good old Bernie has to say

on a variety of supplements and theories.

> http://www.autism.com/ari/

> http://www.autism.com/

> That's always a good place to start.

>

> But in the end, my opinion is that if you're not comfortable with it,

don't do it. There's no shame in that. I truly believe that. Sure you'd

wonder, " but what if I'd... " or say, " I should have... " but in the end, you

need to do exactly what your conscience tells you to do. And if it tells

you to be wary of more supplements, that's perfectly fine. It's your

choice, after all, and you'll make that choice ultimately out of love for

.

>

> Jacquie

Raena,

Just to add to Jaquie's response: The other thing is that our kids don't

all seem to have 'aquired' their autism the same way. Some of the parents

knew their babies were 'different' right from birth. Some of the kids were

perfectly normal and for no apparent reason at all, suddenly regresses

around age 2. Some of the kids seemed normal and regressed or reacted badly

after different vaccines. Also some of the kids who respond well to

different 'cures' may have certain types of physical difficulties that not

all of the kids have. This said, it would make sense that something that

works for one child, may have no effect on another. Everything is guesswork

and we just do our best at muddling through and collect as much information

as we can and then decide what sounds worth trying with our kids and what

sounds dangerous and not worth the risk.

Sue

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[Guest guest]

Raena -

I'm pretty sure we all go thru the same thoughts, probably more often

than we should.

My philosophy, at this very second, although it is subject to change,

is that there is NOTHING that I or anyone can do to " cure " Autism,

and even if there were, I'm not sure I would want to try.

The very best we can do for our children is love them for who they

are and learn as much about Autism as we can so we can be educated

enough to help them. If something doesn't feel right for you at any

particular moment, then it doesn't feel right. Period. Second

guessing yourself will get you nowhere.

I've wondered myself how things " would be " if Jacqui would have had

early intervention, if we would have recognized the signs sooner. I

still wonder sometimes " what we are missing " if we do not give her

her enzymes regularly or what we are missing because I don't research

vitamins enough, or don't attempt to alter her diet enough...geez,you

could go on and on and on.

We are only HUMAN. We are not SUPERHUMAN. At least I'm not. I just

have to take one day at a time and let the " forces " guide me to what

I should be doing.

All of your posts have been INCREDIBLY helpful. Full of great

information that has helped me, as I'm sure they have helped others.

Keep doing what you're doing and pat yourself on the back. Don't

kick yourself for what you are NOT doing. You know . You'll

know when the time is right to try something new.

{{{hugs}}}}

Penny

[Guest guest]

> > In my opinion, which I grant you may not be worth much, if a kid is

> > 'recovered' from autism, that kid wasn't autistic in the first place. I

am

> > *extremely* skeptical of all " cures " and recovery testimonies.

I don't agree with this, Jacquie.

I think most children do not get " cured " but that once in awhile, a child

does recover from true autism. It may not be due to a certain therapy or

anything that the parents did or didn't do, but something happens and they

are, by all means, " cured " .

Now this is not to be confused with my hoping for this to happen to my

girls. On the contrary, I hope for betterment, improvement, and speech. I

don't hope for miracles anymore.

But my point is that it would BLOW if should be indistinguishable from

his peers <with the exception of the regular quirks or oddities that ALL

people possess> one day, and you would have to hear that your little boy was

not autistic to begin with. He was indeed autistic, and substantially so,

yes? What he ends up like in 2 years or 20 years doesn't take away from

that fact. And he continues to improve at an alarming rate.

I have mentioned a friend of mine who has that 11 year old boy, severely

autistic. Well, he's a twin, and his sister also didn't say a word until

age 4.5... handflapping, spinning, tantrums, you name it. Diagnosed as

autistic.

She needed ST until grade 3, but other than that, that gorgeous little girl

is NOT autistic anymore in any which way. She doesn't have one classical

autistic sign...... and she is well-balanced, has lots of friends, and is by

all counts, " normal " . Her twin brother, on the other hand, is pretty much

one of the more severe cases I have heard of since knowing autism. But up

to age 4.5, they were the SAME.

Imitation, or cured? I don't know. Imitation is entirely possible, but is

it possible to imitate someone else so wholly and completely, even if he is

a twin?

Grace

_________________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Honestly, No. I don't feel guilty that I'm not out there every second looking

for a cure.

He's autistic, and nothing's going to change that. I am spending my days helping

him learn as much as he can and help him better understand and communicate in

the world we live in. And just plain old enjoying him.

At first I thought I had to be supermom and try so many different things. But

then I realized, Mitchel only really wants mom, not supermom.

Kerri

" Finding a cure " and going on guilt trips...

Good Morning all...

I am wondering if any of you struggle with all the wonderful " cures "

out there for autism...feeling guilty for being afraid to try

something that other folks are saying made their severely autistic

child " normal " ? I do this to myself all the time...most recently

over the enzymes thing. I always want to try stuff for ' sake,

but I worry that if I just start pouring junk down him I'll do some

permanent damage, you know? It took me over a year to decide to try

the EFAs, and they actually helped him. But he ain't cured...so did

it matter that much that I waited to try something that made him only

slightly better?

I feel so pressured right now, with coming rapidly upon that

magic age of 8 where the world of intervention changes so much for

kids with disabilities. What if there IS something out there I could

give him that would help significantly, and I'm just not doing it out

of paranoia?

I hate this.

Raena

[Guest guest]

Raena, I just wanted to respond to this... In my opinion, which I grant you may

not be worth much, if a kid is 'recovered' from autism, that kid wasn't autistic

in the first place. I am *extremely* skeptical of all " cures " and recovery

testimonies.

Jacquie: I 100% agree with this~

Kerri

[Guest guest]

> is NOT autistic anymore in any which way. She doesn't have one classical

> autistic sign...... and she is well-balanced, has lots of friends, and is by

> all counts, " normal " .

Could be asperger's, too. Marc is indistinguishable from others, was popular in

school, very intelligent, totally well-balanced...only when you know him

intimately do you notice something different about him, and it takes years to

really sink in.

Or this little girl could just be far better at learning to cope; may have had

far more potential for integration than her brother right from the start, for

whatever the reason is that dictates ASD kids have so many levels of

affectedness...

Your point is compelling, Grace, I won't deny it.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

>

> Jacquie: I 100% agree with this~

> Kerri

>

Me too :-)

Penny

[Guest guest]

>

> At first I thought I had to be supermom and try so many different

things. But then I realized, Mitchel only really wants mom, not

supermom.

> Kerri

Kerri!

VERY well said!!!

Penny :-)

[Guest guest]

Thank you.. gee the damndest things come out of my mouth huh? Just when you

least expect it from me!

Kerri

Re: " Finding a cure " and going on guilt trips...

>

> At first I thought I had to be supermom and try so many different

things. But then I realized, Mitchel only really wants mom, not

supermom.

> Kerri

Kerri!

VERY well said!!!

Penny :-)

[Guest guest]

200% agree with Jacquie!

Kerri

Re: " Finding a cure " and going on guilt trips...

>

> Jacquie: I 100% agree with this~

> Kerri

>

Me too :-)

Penny

[Guest guest]

>> I know what you mean about being intimidated and frightened by all

the different options out there.There is SO MUCH info about so many

different supplements, etc...it's hard to know what is true, what is

safe, and what is not just plain crazy...(a little while ago someone

was emailing members of the list with an Epsom Salts Cure)>>

And then you read somewhere else that using Epsom Salts on kids who

can't do something or other metabolically (sorry, can't remember what

at the moment...) is dangerous. One thing that drives me nuts is

that folks can't agree on what is safe. Soy is the answer. Soy is

poison. EFAs are what they need. Too much EFA supplementation leads

to aggression and hyperactivity. B vitamins are the answer, but only

a certain type of B vitamin that no pharmacist in town carries or

knows where to get. UGH. I guess I just feel overwhelmed at the

moment with all the " options " ...

> But in the end, my opinion is that if you're not comfortable with

it, don't do it. There's no shame in that. I truly believe that.

Sure you'd wonder, " but what if I'd... " or say, " I should have... "

but in the end, you need to do exactly what your conscience tells you

to do. And if it tells you to be wary of more supplements, that's

perfectly fine. It's your choice, after all, and you'll make that

choice ultimately out of love for .>>

True. Thanks.

Raena

>

> Jacquie

[Guest guest]

>>Everything is guesswork

> and we just do our best at muddling through and collect as much

information

> as we can and then decide what sounds worth trying with our kids

and what

> sounds dangerous and not worth the risk.>>

You know, the problem for me is information overload. I get some

information....think, " Hey, that makes sense " , then find something

somewhere that contradicts it. My wee brain can't handle it...so I

err in the direction of safety. Then I worry that if I were just

braver...he'd do better.

Raena

[Guest guest]

Dear friends,

Rather than try to respond to all the wonderful, supportive posts you

all sent yesterday, I want to just say thanks one time to all (hope

that's okay). I did respond directly to a few things, but don't want

to clutter the list with too many notes.

I suppose that it just hits me every once in a while. I am on

several " typical " autism lists...PDD support, Recovered Kids, enzymes

and autism, speech diet, abmd, and on and on... I do it for the

information...and don't usually post unless I have a question. But

sometimes I get so discouraged reading how this or that mom

found " the answer " for her kid, and that kid is now bopping merrily

through life. is bopping alright...bopped his sister just

yesterday. :-(

He is doing better...WAY better. He's a different kid than he was

last year...and that's wonderful. But he's also a different kid than

he was 4 years ago...and that's NOT wonderful. He's one of those

kids who did regress, which is why I keep wondering if there is

something that will " unregress " him...so I keep reading.

takes prescription meds, and some supplements. Others we have

tried that didn't work still sit in the cabinet. I have a list

of " safe " things to do, one at a time...maybe it's part of the

acceptance process to do this...to be sure that we are where we are

because we can't be anywhere else. I have teachers and therapists

who come to the house to work with him, and under the tree sits a new

speech program to try. So I'm doing what I can, right?

I do think that I accept for who he is...but I want to make

sure that he gets as much opportunity as he can. SO, we keep

plugging away...and learn as we go.

Makes me a better person, I guess---my temper HAS to stay under

control because his sure isn't going to...But honestly, I get tired

of getting so many opportunities to be a better person. I get tired

of not having anything close to a regular life...of almost everything

being hard. I'm going to miss my older son's first Academic

Tournament tomorrow, because it's an all day deal with way too many

people for to even try...his dad and one of his sisters will

go and cheer for him. I wanted to go, too...but my respite care

providers are not available. So I will stay at home with , and

we will probably have a good day, doing what he does best...just

being .

Wow, look at what I just said. Maybe I want him cured for

ME...phooey. See, now I can feel guilty about THAT!

Raena

[Guest guest]

> Wow, look at what I just said. Maybe I want him cured for

> ME...phooey. See, now I can feel guilty about THAT!

Oh Raena -- I think we ALL want out kids cured for US!!! We never asked for

this! This isn't what we signed up for! We signed up for the laughing babies

in the pampers commercials, and the toddlers who cheer when they pull down their

pull-ups and pee in the potty all by themselves, and the kindergarteners who act

like those precocious kids on sitcoms, and grade schoolers who want help with

their homework and tell us stories about their days, and teenagers whose social

lives will overwhelm them, and college graduates who would hug us and say,

" Thanks mom - I couldn't have done it without you. "

We didn't get that. :-( But of COURSE sometimes we wish we did!

We're missing out on a journey that others take for granted. I think to never

wish that we were on THAT journey would make us some kind of superhumans -- and

I don't know about you, but my tiara and magical cape seem to be lost in the

mail.

Don't feel guilty, sweetie -- you're only human, doing a job that requires more

than the average human knows how to handle. You get enough guilt on a daily

basis without feeling bad about just being human. (((hugs)))

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

>

> > Wow, look at what I just said. Maybe I want him cured for

> > ME...phooey. See, now I can feel guilty about THAT!

>

>

> Oh Raena -- I think we ALL want out kids cured for US!!! We never

asked for this! This isn't what we signed up for! We signed up for

the laughing babies in the pampers commercials, and the toddlers who

cheer when they pull down their pull-ups and pee in the potty all by

themselves, and the kindergarteners who act like those precocious

kids on sitcoms, and grade schoolers who want help with their

homework and tell us stories about their days, and teenagers whose

social lives will overwhelm them, and college graduates who would hug

us and say, " Thanks mom - I couldn't have done it without you. "

>

> We didn't get that. :-( But of COURSE sometimes we wish we did!

>

> We're missing out on a journey that others take for granted. I

think to never wish that we were on THAT journey would make us some

kind of superhumans -- and I don't know about you, but my tiara and

magical cape seem to be lost in the mail.

>

> Don't feel guilty, sweetie -- you're only human, doing a job that

requires more than the average human knows how to handle. You get

enough guilt on a daily basis without feeling bad about just being

human. (((hugs)))

>

> Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> We're missing out on a journey that others take for granted. I

think to never wish that we were on THAT journey would make us some

kind of superhumans -- and I don't know about you, but my tiara and

magical cape seem to be lost in the mail.>>

Oops...I think I pushed " send " instead of " reply " , which will

undoubtably send a " nothing " note...and I wanted to say " something " .

Looked thru the closet, and I can't find my tiara or cape, either.

Actually, now that you mention it, I remember doing this to myself

when I first got married, too...watching those wonderful women who

have 8 kids, make their own designer-quality clothes, bake everything

from scratch, serve on several community committees, and always look

like they just walked out of the salon...and wondering how they do

that. NOW, that world looks like a breeze (probably isn't)---guess

it's all in your perspective; I would never have known how much I can

get done at 3 am if I hadn't had to find out. :-( It's like when I

first started homeschooling; I was so overwhelmed just doing

kindergarten for ...now I think teaching just one kid would be

SO easy...

Still, wouldn't it be lovely to spend just one day as a " normal "

person...fretting over the price of holiday dresses and wondering if

20 is too many people to invite over for that brunch...getting into

the car without thinking about the consequences of one too many trips

in a day...meandering aimlessly through a garden...sitting down...

Raena

[Guest guest]

Raena...

I know about the guilt trips.

I had to miss breakfast with Santa this morning with Sam and Abbie because I

just had to work....

We just CAN'T do it all...it is impossible....

My comfort comes from being able to ask myself if I did my best...just for

today...

And honestly, I can normally say yes....sometimes I slack...but I guess we

all do.

The truth is, I think we all do our best....due to fatigue our best might not

be as good as other days...still, this is our best for that day.

I think you're doing great.

Ron

[Guest guest]

I think the problem here is that diagnosing autism is

not an exact science. After all the tests and

interviews and observations it still comes down to the

opinion of a doctor. There is so much we don't know

about autism. Perhaps how a child contracts it has

something to do with how severe it gets. Maybe it's

about environment or genetics. Perhaps there is even

separate strains, one that can be cured, and one that

can't. In the end, it is the parent who has to make

the decision about what treatmenets, therapies and

schooling is best for their child.

Tuna

(I haven't helped at all, have I?)

P.S. Grace, how about getting your friend to join PA?

--- Grace Keh wrote:

I don't agree with this, Jacquie. I think most

children do not get cured but that once in awhile, a

child does recover from true autism.

Grace

=====

______________________________________________________

Send your holiday cheer with http://greetings.yahoo.ca

[Guest guest]

> Still, wouldn't it be lovely to spend just one day as a " normal "

> person...fretting over the price of holiday dresses and wondering if

> 20 is too many people to invite over for that brunch...getting into

> the car without thinking about the consequences of one too many trips

> in a day...meandering aimlessly through a garden...sitting down...

Yeah. I understand. You know, I barely think about that stuff anymore; I think

it's self-defense. Why look over the fence to the greener grass, when you're

standing in quicksand and the fence is made of razor-wire anyway?

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

Sitting down? Sitting down? Hmmmm. Sounds sorta

familiar. I might have down that once or twice, a

looong time ago.

Tuna

--- rgr4us wrote:

sitting down...

Raena

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[Guest guest]

> I know about the guilt trips.

> I had to miss breakfast with Santa this morning with Sam and Abbie

because I just had to work....

> We just CAN'T do it all...it is impossible....>>

Ron,

Thanks; You're right...guilt isn't real productive, anyway.

Breakfast with Santa, huh? Sounds like it would have been fun.

went absolutely ballistic the other day when the Salvation

Army bell ringers were all dressed up in Santa garb outside

Target...there's not *supposed to be* anyone standing outside the

door when we walk out, and they fer sher shouldn't look like THAT. So

much for holiday spirit. :-)

> The truth is, I think we all do our best....due to fatigue our best

might not

> be as good as other days...still, this is our best for that day.

> I think you're doing great.>>

That's a good way to look at it. I read your other post ( " I've been

thinking " ...maybe?) and had wanted to tell you how much your

perspective on things helps me. Not sure if I'm doing all that

great, but at least I'm still pluggin' along...which might be my best

today, come to think of it...

Raena