Re: Its been awhile, need to vent a bit or maybe just rant.

[Guest guest]

big-ear's person wrote:

>So what am I to do? I live in a state where unemployment is very high

>which makes my limited selection on places I can work even smaller.

>My only choices seem to be go back to college at this point and find

>something that my lack of social skills wont cause a problem. Which

>brings me to the problem that just the thought of going into a small

>college makes me sick.

Maybe you could find a " distance learning " program that would give

you what you need. Did you have an idea of what you'd like to study?

Jane

[Guest guest]

> Maybe you could find a " distance learning " program that would give

> you what you need. Did you have an idea of what you'd like to study?

>

> Jane

Dont think i will every know what I want to study.

[Guest guest]

I am in a similar situation Big ear

[Guest guest]

yeap, know what you mean...

ya know what gets me is, my dad thinks I'm retarded, yet he don't even

see the gifts I do have. For instance, I am a good writer, and can write

much better then I can speak even. I think this is a good thing, because

I can really inspire people with my words. I have had ladies fall in love

with me before, from the words I type on the computer. I've been told

many times I have a real gift of writing.

but ya know, just because I can't say 2 words in person, doesn't mean I'm

stupid.

Just because I can't explain the meaning of the word " articulate " doesn't

mean

I don't know what the word means. I do, I just, can't get the explanation

out into

a verbal format. I think even my own therapist assumes thats a vision

related

issue, when I know its not its mental, but doesn't mean I'm retarded either.

I mean I did pass high school and am going to college on my own, so I'm not

completely stupid, but i do have some strengths, and computers are one of

them.

so I like to concentrate on my strengths, and not worry so much about the

weaknesses

ya know? I mean, who cares if I can't explain the meaning of the word

" articulate "

face to face, long as I know what it means, thats what matters right? and

just because

I cannot give the answer to a simple story problem verbally, doesn't mean I

can't answer

the same story problem on paper if it was given to me that way. They just

don't understand

my dad thinks I'm dumber then a box of rocks, and thinks I have this

" alcoholic " type

addition to computers, cuz I spend so much time on them is why he thinks,

but I spend

so much time on here because I " LIKE " computers, I'm good with them, I

actually

have friends on here that I can talk to, unlike in person where I cannot

talk to people

in a verbal way at all. The computer has been my outlet to the outside

world, its how I

communicate to others, how I do it best anyway, and I personally think I'm

doing the

Lord's work here on the computer, because right HERE is where I use my

strength

of " inspiration " the most....

Tom

> I posted here before about this, and since have found that it is

> everywhere. Autistics are being sterotyped, the worst of it by other

> autistics and it bothers me. The post before was about " In My Mind " on

> youtube which has over 700k views. Any time I see information about

> autistics that paints us all as the same I find it disturbing.

>

> I am not immature, I can read better than most. I don't do things

> that other people do that bother me, even if me doing it isn't a

> problem I just don't. I am not retarded and I didn't get this from

> mercury. The people that continue to tell people many of these things

> make my head hurt.

>

> I am not a burden on society,they are a burden on me. What I mean by

> this is that I cant hold a job for long because of the " Kiss (fill in

> the blank) " Factor. It doesn't matter that my last job I showed up and

> with in a few weeks was outperforming coworkers that had been doing

> the same thing for 15+ years. Why? because I don't feel a need to talk

> and try to climb the ranks of a company by BSing my way through it. I

> was treated like dirt and had to quit because of it.

>

> The job I had before that I was lucky at first, the company was

> rather small, I didn't have to deal with the other branches much so I

> only had to be around about 30 people. I was liked because I was

> different from other people that help the position, I didn't treat the

> others that I worked with like they where stupid because I knew

> something they didn't. I was promoted fast and ended up being the

> youngest team lead at the company.

>

> But this all changed, the company expanded and the number of people I

> had to deal with went up to over 120 and the people in the other

> branch learned of my rapid success and it would seem I became a

> threat. I was harassed and again treated like dirt, 50 year old men in

> charge doing something they have done for 30+ years and having a kid

> with 1 years experience out performing them seems to worry them, I

> understand why but still find it foolish. Anyways I ended up

> overstressed, missed a lot of work, one day I decided I was going to

> quit, lucky me I got fired before I could.

>

> It has been said that 80% of the work done in the USA is by done by

> 20% of the workforce, the other 80% does 20% of the work. I believe

> this to be true, and believe this more than any other reason is why

> the US is having so much economic trouble. 40 or 50 years ago I would

> have been loved no mater where I worked, but in todays world where

> work ethics takes a back seat to social skills I am looked at as a pain.

>

> So what am I to do? I live in a state where unemployment is very high

> which makes my limited selection on places I can work even smaller.

> My only choices seem to be go back to college at this point and find

> something that my lack of social skills wont cause a problem. Which

> brings me to the problem that just the thought of going into a small

> college makes me sick.

>

> An advantage I have over many autistics is also a curse. I have

> topics I obsess over, but it changes every few days. One week I will

> play a video game with breaks, the next Ill be playing on my keyboard

> and guitar, after that who knows what will spark my interest next so

> that I can obsess and block out most other thought for extended

> periods of time. So while I am not stuck on a very narrow set of

> things that interest me and can do just about anything I want, I cant

> figure what that is.

>

> In case someone as anyway of helping me with this problem, I love

> music, photography, reading(everything), movies, computer graphics and

> design, all these fall under art really. Computers and Video games,

> economics, government, math, outdoors/nature. Really anything that can

> be learned I enjoy, I love information about anything and everything.

> I have been trying to figure out a way to combine the things I like

> with music, not really sure how but I do everything while listening to

> music.

>

> For some reason I have a need to make a difference, not so much to be

> famous or rich or anything like that, just somewhere in my head I

> have it stuck that I have to something important. I wonder where this

> comes from, if its an autistic thing or just something I picked up

> somewhere. I know when I look at the world I don't like what I see. I

> don't like seeing the ignorant in control, I don't like my world being

> full of lies and being run by them. The idea so many have that one

> person cant do anything so might as well sit back and watch just does

> not sit well with me. I just do not want to sit and watch everything

> go to hell I guess.

>

> Well it would seem I have typed a lot and talked about nothing. As

> much as my mind wanders I wonder how I ever get anything done... my

> wife would probably say I dont get anything done. I just done like

> cleaning house, not really sure why. And there I go again.... I think

> I am just going to stop now before this becomes a book.

>

> --

>