Re: survey about school problems

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

> http://quibblo.com/quiz/bLLTxy/Emotional-Abuse-from-Teachers

> I'd like to let you all know about an online survey I just made, about

> emotional abuse from teachers (especially towards minority, such as

> autistic, kids). It's for my book on that subject.

I had a teacher in third grade who clearly didn't like me at all and made no

secret about it. He was young, only 25, but that's no excuse. He blatantly

played favorites, putting his arms around certain female students and stuff.

This was in the early '70s in Germany. Today it would be considered

inappropriate; I think it was then. Once I was the only one who had zero

mistakes on a test. He made everyone in the class (there were 44 kids) guess

who was the one with the perfect test. They all guess the usual suspects,

none of them guessed me of course. Then he said in a mourning sort of tome

that it was me and everyone groaned. There were other incidents, but that

one sticks in my mind the most. How unprofessional.

D.

[Guest guest]

When I was in the 5th grade my teachers classroom and the classroom from next

door had

gotten together to do some project. I tried to pay attention but I didn't think

it was anything I

would need to learn for my future and I was staring out the window at nothing. I

could still

hear what was going on but didn't realise what was going on. One boy from my

class starting

singing a song for everyone and they all seemed to enjoy it. I was still staring

out the window

and started laughing while he was singing. All of a sudden the teacher from next

door started

yelling at me. My teacher joined in and then almost all the students from both

classes were

yelling at me because they thought I thought his song was stupid. I was

mortified. I don't

know why I was laughing but I did think his song was nice and it made me happy.

Kellie

[Guest guest]

When I was in the 10th grade my english teacher had everyone write a nice one

word

compliment about each student in the class. One girl in the class was a cute

little petite

thing with light brown hair. I like animals a lot and related everyone to an

animal because

thats what I relate to best. I gave this girl a compliment of being " Mousey "

because mice are

cute little critters with light brown fur. Boy did I get in trouble for that

one. And on top of that

only two other students said anything at all about me.

Kellie

[Guest guest]

I hate those type of assignments. I think that they are cruel. It does not

matter whether it was in school or in some kind of therapy. Do they think we are

children??? I swear my therapist that I had gave me a journal and made me write

a good thing about myself after each entry. Thank God the journal didn't last

long and the therapist blew me off. Of course it had to be right before we had a

death in the family and she hasn't even called to check up on me once. It's one

of the reasons I am so anxious to move to Florida.

apricot305 wrote: When I was in the 10th grade

my english teacher had everyone write a nice one word

compliment about each student in the class. One girl in the class was a cute

little petite

thing with light brown hair. I like animals a lot and related everyone to an

animal because

thats what I relate to best. I gave this girl a compliment of being " Mousey "

because mice are

cute little critters with light brown fur. Boy did I get in trouble for that

one. And on top of that

only two other students said anything at all about me.

Kellie

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Re: Re: survey about school problems

> I hate those type of assignments. I think that they are cruel. It does

> not matter whether it was in school or in some kind of therapy. Do they

> think we are children??? I swear my therapist that I had gave me a journal

> and made me write a good thing about myself after each entry. Thank God

> the journal didn't last long and the therapist blew me off. Of course it

> had to be right before we had a death in the family and she hasn't even

> called to check up on me once. It's one of the reasons I am so anxious to

> move to Florida.

I doubt things are going to be better for you in FL. You just had a bad

therapist.

D.

[Guest guest]

Ann, I am sorry for your loss. That is so hard!

Ann and Delila,

I cannot say anything about this therapist of Ann's, but I can say this, which

is a separate issue: I write good things about myself all the time- like

accepting that I am AS, and working on being honest about it with myself.

Remember, you get to define what " good " means- just don't take an NT definition

of it, but choose your own. Being honest about all of it is fine- after all,

accuracy and honesty are two of our good qualities, I belileve.

In my case, I know from my faith that I am " fearfully and wonderfully made " --

see Psalms 139:14-- and a lot of the good things I have about myself, I believe

only by faith, because this is an area I know I have to work on.

When you get back to it (if you do), don't write for the approval of anyone

else, but write for what you like, the way you like it. Then, it won't hurt,

and won't feel fake.

Delila wrote:

Re: Re: survey about school problems

I swear my therapist that I had gave me a journal

> and made me write a good thing about myself after each entry. Thank God

> the journal didn't last long and the therapist blew me off. Of course it

> had to be right before we had a death in the family and she hasn't even

> called to check up on me once. It's one of the reasons I am so anxious to

> move to Florida.

I doubt things are going to be better for you in FL. You just had a bad

therapist.

D.

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

It would create a cool politlcal debate if you wrote one good word about

yourself: " Autistic " . I think it's good, anyway. As a student, I was given

this assignment, with the aim of having my parents write five good words. My

mother wrote " gregarious " . I grinningly turned it in! Nobody bought it, but it

was still fun to turn it in! : ~ ) (My mother was probably on the Spectrum

too, but back then, who knew?!) To be fair, they did get into a discussion

where they said I was friendlier than I had been the year before-- maybe, the

word made them look at me a little bit differently.

Ann wrote: I hate those type of

assignments. I think that they are cruel. It does not matter whether it was in

school or in some kind of therapy. Do they think we are children??? I swear my

therapist that I had gave me a journal and made me write a good thing about

myself after each entry. Thank God the journal didn't last long and the

therapist blew me off. Of course it had to be right before we had a death in the

family and she hasn't even called to check up on me once. It's one of the

reasons I am so anxious to move to Florida.

apricot305 wrote: When I was in the 10th grade my english

teacher had everyone write a nice one word

compliment about each student in the class. One girl in the class was a cute

little petite

thing with light brown hair. I like animals a lot and related everyone to an

animal because

thats what I relate to best. I gave this girl a compliment of being " Mousey "

because mice are

cute little critters with light brown fur. Boy did I get in trouble for that

one. And on top of that

only two other students said anything at all about me.

Kellie

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I'm not sure how I've done this, my faith has played a big part - yes. And

understanding myself through the Myers-Briggs Personality type indicator.

but...

I am now at a point in my life where I see myself totally realistically. I have

no qualms about listing both my strengths and my weaknesses. I know that I have

both. I am comfortable saying to someone, yes, I am good at that - or no, that

is something that really, you might rather have someone else do.

That doesn't mean that I am going to stop trying to develop my weaknesses. I

will. But I am comfortable living out of my strengths, offering my strengths,

and releasing others to fill in where I can't. I certainly didn't used to be

like that. I saw nothing good at all about myself. If someone complimented me,

I'd freak - now I smile and say thankyou.

It's certainly a journey. Perhaps identifying both strenghts and weaknesses

will help. It's a lot easier to say one is terrific at something, or has a

great deal of internal peace - when one also knows difficulty doing things and

conflict. Also, realizing that many other people have opposite strengths and

weaknesses is helpful to.

Saying 'nice things' about oneself is good. Balance is even better. One can

have an inflated ego too!

I have a sliding scale of who I am too.... for instance,

I am kind, patient, easy to talk to, understanding and I even have some wisdom.

I am tolerant (OK you get the drift...) UNTIL I reach sensory overload at which

point I am,

irritable, insensitive, intolerant, and it feels like there is nothing in my

head related to wisdom whatsoever...

tee hee.

Jo

Re: Re: survey about school problems

I swear my therapist that I had gave me a journal

> and made me write a good thing about myself after each entry. Thank God

> the journal didn't last long and the therapist blew me off. Of course it

> had to be right before we had a death in the family and she hasn't even

> called to check up on me once. It's one of the reasons I am so anxious to

> move to Florida.

I doubt things are going to be better for you in FL. You just had a bad

therapist.

D.

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __

[Guest guest]

LOL! Jo, how dod you get a better self image?

joanne ford wrote: I'm not sure how I've done

this, my faith has played a big part - yes. And understanding myself through the

Myers-Briggs Personality type indicator. but...

I am now at a point in my life where I see myself totally realistically. I have

no qualms about listing both my strengths and my weaknesses. I know that I have

both. I am comfortable saying to someone, yes, I am good at that - or no, that

is something that really, you might rather have someone else do.

That doesn't mean that I am going to stop trying to develop my weaknesses. I

will. But I am comfortable living out of my strengths, offering my strengths,

and releasing others to fill in where I can't. I certainly didn't used to be

like that. I saw nothing good at all about myself. If someone complimented me,

I'd freak - now I smile and say thankyou.

It's certainly a journey. Perhaps identifying both strenghts and weaknesses will

help. It's a lot easier to say one is terrific at something, or has a great deal

of internal peace - when one also knows difficulty doing things and conflict.

Also, realizing that many other people have opposite strengths and weaknesses is

helpful to.

Saying 'nice things' about oneself is good. Balance is even better. One can have

an inflated ego too!

I have a sliding scale of who I am too.... for instance,

I am kind, patient, easy to talk to, understanding and I even have some wisdom.

I am tolerant (OK you get the drift...) UNTIL I reach sensory overload at which

point I am,

irritable, insensitive, intolerant, and it feels like there is nothing in my

head related to wisdom whatsoever...

tee hee.

Jo

Re: Re: survey about school problems

I swear my therapist that I had gave me a journal

> and made me write a good thing about myself after each entry. Thank God

> the journal didn't last long and the therapist blew me off. Of course it

> had to be right before we had a death in the family and she hasn't even

> called to check up on me once. It's one of the reasons I am so anxious to

> move to Florida.

I doubt things are going to be better for you in FL. You just had a bad

therapist.

D.

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __

[Guest guest]

Thanks ,

You've been a big help. I don't mind writing the good things, but

the demand is what I hate, it puts me under so much pressure I can only think of

one or two things that are good and I know there are more. On Monday I will be

going in for a psych evaluation, as well as, to hopefully figure out what is

going on with the two shunts(tubes) in my head that are supposed to be draining

exess fluid but is obviously not and making my life a living nightmare. I don't

know how long I'll be there which makes me crazy since it means I'll be leaving

my cats in the care of someone else.

later,

Ann

Princess wrote:

Ann, I am sorry for your loss. That is so hard!

Ann and Delila,

I cannot say anything about this therapist of Ann's, but I can say this, which

is a separate issue: I write good things about myself all the time- like

accepting that I am AS, and working on being honest about it with myself.

Remember, you get to define what " good " means- just don't take an NT definition

of it, but choose your own. Being honest about all of it is fine- after all,

accuracy and honesty are two of our good qualities, I belileve.

In my case, I know from my faith that I am " fearfully and wonderfully made " --

see Psalms 139:14-- and a lot of the good things I have about myself, I believe

only by faith, because this is an area I know I have to work on.

When you get back to it (if you do), don't write for the approval of anyone

else, but write for what you like, the way you like it. Then, it won't hurt, and

won't feel fake.

Delila wrote:

Re: Re: survey about school problems

I swear my therapist that I had gave me a journal

> and made me write a good thing about myself after each entry. Thank God

> the journal didn't last long and the therapist blew me off. Of course it

> had to be right before we had a death in the family and she hasn't even

> called to check up on me once. It's one of the reasons I am so anxious to

> move to Florida.

I doubt things are going to be better for you in FL. You just had a bad

therapist.

D.

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Through understanding myself, accepting myself. Knowing who I am. (and who I'm

not). Learning continually. Having the courage to fail - and finding that

often I didn't. 'Goof bravely' is a motto I heard somewhere. Keeping a sense

of humor. Building on my strengths. Acknowledging my weaknesses, and liking

myself anyway.

For a long time, when I was actively being marginalized and publicly shamed, I

practiced 'turning the other cheek' (not to be advised). I almost lost my

mental health. My mantra at that time was " God (sorry, I did say it was my

faith partly) you love me the way I am and I don't care what anyone else

thinks. " That really helped too. It's been a long journey and I think that

there is a lot that I have forgotten.

Mostly, it was through the above. Getting to know myself better was also

through Myers Briggs. Also, a lot of the courses I took towards my Masters of

Divinity had counseling based courses and some psychology.

Perhaps some of it was instilled at childhood, early enough on that I don't

remember?

I'm not saying that my childhood was good, but until the age of 3 I think it was

acceptable. I only have one memory before the age of 3 - and it's a good one.

(I have others that are induced from looking at old photos, but I'm not sure

they are mine directly)

Live, Love, Laugh, Learn. You never know what tomorrow will bring. I know,

everyone says it. But it's true. Good fortune can arrive, or disaster befalls.

Enjoy today!

Jo

Re: Re: survey about school problems

I swear my therapist that I had gave me a journal

> and made me write a good thing about myself after each entry. Thank God

> the journal didn't last long and the therapist blew me off. Of course it

> had to be right before we had a death in the family and she hasn't even

> called to check up on me once. It's one of the reasons I am so anxious to

> move to Florida.

I doubt things are going to be better for you in FL. You just had a bad

therapist.

D.

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __

[Guest guest]

Ann,

I will perhaps be babysitting a couple of cute furry beasts for an indefinite

time- we won't know for sure till Wednesday- I have never even seen them. (Add

loyal to your list of good qualities- you are really loyal to these cats...) and

responsible (you are caring enough and diligent enough to find them a great

babysitter... I think!) What kind of furry cats are they?

Hope your internal shunts get fixed perfectly (and soon!), and that you are

comfortable while you are there.

Speedy recovery,

Ann wrote:

Thanks ,

You've been a big help. I don't mind writing the good things, but the demand is

what I hate, it puts me under so much pressure I can only think of one or two

things that are good and I know there are more. On Monday I will be going in for

a psych evaluation, as well as, to hopefully figure out what is going on with

the two shunts(tubes) in my head that are supposed to be draining exess fluid

but is obviously not and making my life a living nightmare. I don't know how

long I'll be there which makes me crazy since it means I'll be leaving my cats

in the care of someone else.

later,

Ann

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[Guest guest]

I don't like the idea of students being asked to write nice things

about each other. It can turn cruel, even if by ommission.

I do think that writing " nice " and honest things about myself has saved

me from depression a number of times.

I also at one point about ten years ago realized that I do the thing of

only noticing negative comments about me so kept a book for awhile

where if anyone said anything at all that was positive, I HAD to write

it down (my assignment for myself, not for a therapist). I found that I

did actually get a number of good comments, and am pretty sure I would

not have noticed if I had not written it down.

Rhonda