Re: The cure for autism....how do you feel?

[Guest guest]

Wanda wrote:

>Interesting you brought up the " sheltered workshops " topic. Here in NC,

>they are talking about fazing out these programs for

>disabled/developmentally/neurologically disabled citizens. Thus, their

>jobs will be " mainstreamed " /outsourced into the regular working society.

>IMHO, I'm not sure if this is a good call on NC's behalf. Not everybody

>can handle the stresses of certain work (let alone have the capabilities

>to perform the work necessary.) I do feel that mainstream corpoate

>america is unprepared for this action. They are not trained well in

>handling diversity issues and remain ignorant as far as " differences "

>within the workplace/school/social environments.

Seems like more people will be educated about disability acceptance

if there are disabled people included in the workplace. Many

autistics will need some accommodations, of course, to make jobs

manageable.

Jane

[Guest guest]

Wanda, That indeed does sound like a bad move. The more people I meet

on the spectrum, the more stories I hear about people being fired for

what I consider stupid stuff but which is often NT social

requirements of the job, or too-long hours, or other things built

into the NT world. I doubt most mainstream corporations are going to

want to bother with the extra training and understanding required,

and, if the ADA is being slowly (or maybe quickly) gutted, there

won't be any incentive legally to make workplaces accessible.

I really do consider my former places of employment to be informal

sheltered workshops in that I was shown tolerance for my occasional

meltdowns, and I was given tasks that fit my skills.

How did you learn about the move to phase out workshops? I am trying

to learn about legislation in VA and am being a bit slow about

learning things. The same thing could be being done here, too, only I

have not heard of it.

Rhonda

[Guest guest]

<All of us do not work in dead-end jobs. In fact, there are even a few

famous people on the Spectrum, like Tim Page, and other famous people. >

Don't forget Bill Gates. . .

My husband has autism and makes a very good salary as a financial analyst

for large companies. He works as a contractor (3-6 mo. contracts) to

minimize a stay at any organization for too long as he tends to get into it

with other people. He is actually getting much better socially as he learns

more about how NTs work.

I have aspergers and had a horrible time with social situations because I

couldn't understand NT behavior. However, I've read a lot of books and

spent a lot of time observing NTs and I actually am very good at reading

people and integrating now. In fact, NT behavior usually follows basic

rules and is not very hard to understand once you " get it. "

Has anyone else experience being a better socialite than NTs, even though

your on the spectrum?

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[Guest guest]

I have experienced being better than them at ...not sure what it's

called, but I will notice that someone is being " left out " and will try

to bring them into the conversation (if I have to be in a conversation

at all, that is). They seem to have no moral problem with just leaving

someone out and continuing to talk amongst themselves, even though we

are accused of not being able to be in a social situation!

Rhonda

>

> Has anyone else experience being a better socialite than NTs, even

though

> your on the spectrum?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Likely because you know what it feels like to be left out...

jo

Re: The " cure " for autism....how do you feel?

I have experienced being better than them at ...not sure what it's

called, but I will notice that someone is being " left out " and will try

to bring them into the conversation (if I have to be in a conversation

at all, that is). They seem to have no moral problem with just leaving

someone out and continuing to talk amongst themselves, even though we

are accused of not being able to be in a social situation!

Rhonda

>

> Has anyone else experience being a better socialite than NTs, even

though

> your on the spectrum?

>

>

>

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[Guest guest]

I am only diagnosed by a sheer coincidence (unless you don't believe

in coincidences... I sometimes wonder about that...) I've told this

story before. I was reading a book for work. The book had the term

PDD-NOS. Not knowing that, and liking to add to my store of acronyms,

I looked it up. I also remember thinking it was a stupid-looking

acronym (does anyone else have words that they think just *look*

wrong/stupid/unappealing? Maybe too symetrical, or not symetrical

enough?) Anyway, I looked up PDD-NOS and got a lot of hits. Picked

the wikipedia site, did not get much out of that but saw a link

to " high functioning autism " and just those three words, in that

order, made me realize, as my hand was on the mouse getting ready to

click it, that I was going to find out something earth-shattering

about myself.

I only mention this because I am one of the ones who has been good

at " masking, " not even realizing I was doing it, and tending to fail

miserably when out of my little safe sheltered spaces like my jobs

and being alone at home in my messy unkempt house. (Argh. Someone

tried to come over today but I deflected her!) Most of my meltdowns

happened out of sight of the general public, most people didn't

notice some of the signs of extreme stress, tended to just think I

was " high-strung " and " too sensitive " and I covered it all up with

one-liners anyway.

People did notice that I forgot who they were but probably thought I

was being " air-headed " rather than having prosopagnosia.

And now I am a bit tired of all that and trying to not only figure

out what and who I am but also to disclose whenever I think I can do

it safely enough for myself (I will take risks at some points, more

as I learn how to do it) because I don't think we should have to go

through life expending twice the energy of an NT to appear " normal "

on top of all the extra energy we expend anyway just trying to exist

on a planet full of flourescent lights, loud noises, grocery stores

with blaring music and too many products....

As " autistic-seeming " as I am I am surprised that no one ever said

anything to me, or that I didn't know myself but I think that's

because until recently autism was not under the scrutiny it is today.

I think that the events of the past 2 years, both in my life, which

has somehow transpired that I do more " autistic-like " things, and in

the life of the general public, who sees more and more TV spots on

autism, so at this point I have had things happen like the guy who

wears the Autism Speaks t-shirt stared at me one day when I was

waving my hands about. A parent of someone who might be on the

spectrum tends to " observe " me at times. Someone said the

word " autistic " under their breath one day when I was in the room.

Why didn't my superhuman hearing kick in so that I could hear if it

was ME they were talking about? Probably I did hear it but haven't

processed it yet due to those auditory delay issues.

All this stuff was completely unknown to me in the past so I tended

to feel bad about myself for being stupid, weird, etc. Now I know to

go into the grocery store and ask the manager to turn off the radio,

or to avoid too many social situations at once, or to be quiet unless

I am sure I am not going to commit a grave social error, or to use my

time timer to get myself to work, which I really should do right now.

Rhonda

> Diagnosed and undiagnosed (usually because good at masking)

> population of those whose traits put them " over the line " for a

true

> autistic personality are probably around 2-3% of the overall

> population. While that means that in the US it is likely that about

5

> million people truly are autistic-spectrum, it still puts us in a

> very small minority.

>

[Guest guest]

I work low down the managment level but manage people all the same. Working in

social care, I have several groups to deal with. And apparently I'm quite good

at it. It has taken a very long time. Yet I had a situation last week; a staff

member had a go at me, saying I was condicending, on a power trip and generally

being mean (and wrong). It compleatly flustered me, I spent the next 4 hours

avoiding her, then there was a shift change over and I found out that someone

eles had had the same woman doing the same to him. For the next two days I felt

bad. After that I a conversation with my boss who reassured me - not alwasys the

easiest task. LOW SELF ESTEAM.

I believe that my learning as an adult in a mechanical manor, has allowed me

support others with COMMUNICATION!!!!!!!! A considerasion should be taken into

play; the staff have known me a long time and thus except my egocentrisities and

my inability to pull pretending that I can relate to people. It is a cute bit of

team work; my team jump-in e.g. when I'm supossed to comfort a person crying - I

don't cry infrount of other people and thus find them difficult to deal with

them appropriatly.

But generally I don't have great social skills. Not surprisingley new people are

often confused by my buzzing upfrount approch. When I leave work I am a fish out

of water.

Montague wrote:

famous people on the Spectrum, like Tim Page, and other famous people. >

Don't forget Bill Gates. . .

My husband has autism and makes a very good salary as a financial analyst

for large companies. He works as a contractor (3-6 mo. contracts) to

minimize a stay at any organization for too long as he tends to get into it

with other people. He is actually getting much better socially as he learns

more about how NTs work.

I have aspergers and had a horrible time with social situations because I

couldn't understand NT behavior. However, I've read a lot of books and

spent a lot of time observing NTs and I actually am very good at reading

people and integrating now. In fact, NT behavior usually follows basic

rules and is not very hard to understand once you " get it. "

Has anyone else experience being a better socialite than NTs, even though

your on the spectrum?

_________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

>

>

>

>

>

> I don't think we should have to go

> through life expending twice the energy of an NT to appear " normal "

> on top of all the extra energy we expend anyway just trying to exist

> on a planet full of flourescent lights, loud noises, grocery stores

> with blaring music and too many products...

>

> Rhonda

>

>

>

>Rhonda,

It's nice to know I'm not the only one in the world that has a problem with loud

noises,

blaring music and too many choices. Do you have a problem being in a room, car

whatever

with someone who is talking to you and at the same time has the TV or radio on?

Does it

seem to you that the voice of the person is the same volume as the blaring

noise? I can

hear the person talking but can't understand what they are saying. I have a hard

time

sleeping with any type of noise around, music, voices of any type. In my house I

can't go

to bed, have enough time to calm down and go to sleep before 3-4 am. Everyone

else

goes to bed about 12 am 15 minutes later they are snoring till 6 am when they

get up.

I can't go into a grocery store when I'm hungry because I will walk out empty

handed. I'm

too hungry and there are too many choices. I must eat before doing grocery

shopping

because I know it will take me 4-6 hours to make the choices even when I have a

list. And

if my cell phone rings when I'm in there OMG. The music is too loud to hear the

person

talk AND do the shopping. THEN people start looking at me like " take it outside

will ya? "

Well I can't do that either cause the music is piped outside too. Besides they

will take my

cart away, put all the items back on the shelf and I have to start all over

again. So I try to

buy as much as possible in bulk or at least large quanities of it so I don't

have to go back

so soon.

Sorry for ranting but thanks for listening (reading). Kellie

>

[Guest guest]

Kellie wrote:

>if my cell phone rings when I'm in there OMG. The music is too loud

>to hear the person

>talk AND do the shopping. THEN people start looking at me like " take

>it outside will ya? "

Can't those phones be turned off so they won't ring when it's inconvenient?

Jane

[Guest guest]

> >if my cell phone rings when I'm in there OMG. The music is too loud

> >to hear the person

> >talk AND do the shopping. THEN people start looking at me like " take

> >it outside will ya? "

>

> Can't those phones be turned off so they won't ring when it's inconvenient?

>

> Jane

>

Of course and I do turn it off during dinner, have appointments and other things

to do. But

not when I'm expecting an important phone call that must be delt with.

Kellie

[Guest guest]

> >if my cell phone rings when I'm in there OMG. The music is too loud

> >to hear the person

> >talk AND do the shopping. THEN people start looking at me like " take

> >it outside will ya? "

>

> Can't those phones be turned off so they won't ring when it's inconvenient?

>

> Jane

>

Of course and I do turn it off during dinner, have appointments and other things

to do. But

not when I'm expecting an important phone call that must be delt with.

Kellie

[Guest guest]

I don't have a ringtone. I've always found ringtones annoying, and I

promised myself that if I ever got a cellphone, it would not have a

ringtone. My phone just vibrates, and usually I'm the only person

who notices or cares.

>

> Kellie wrote:

> >if my cell phone rings when I'm in there OMG. The music is too loud

> >to hear the person

> >talk AND do the shopping. THEN people start looking at me like " take

> >it outside will ya? "

>

> Can't those phones be turned off so they won't ring when it's

> inconvenient?

>

> Jane

>

>

[Guest guest]

Good Morning all,

Wow! Quite a thread here! Just wanted to point out that I've had

executive functioning/coordination issues in my lifetime. I have been

delayed and slower than NTs. Yes, I too, wretch at the many inane

reasons for " being fired " 'let go " from employment. (Pardon me, where's

the garbage can or porcelain god when you need it??) OTOH, while being

" old reliable " on the job, it would be nice to receive some

acknowledgement of achievements/milestones in my life. Just something

to make me feel/realize that I was/am meaningful to others. My being

" me " / " there " ain't gonna cut it anymore. I never was the homecoming

queen, deb, bride, had bridal/baby/housewarming showers. This is why my

50th in 2010 (hopefully) will make up for all things " lost. "

Characters: I noticed the other NTs in 3rd grade gawking/staring funny

at me. In 5th grade, I tried (unsuccessully) covering up/lying for my

supposed faux pases. High school I did drama class and high school

plays. No leads but chorus. I was also in choirs growing up. No

soloist parts. Ditto... Once in a while, I'd make 1 liners/cracks to

be funny. It takes me a while somewhat to get punchlines.

Well, it's a workday-gotta go!

Wanda

http://community.webtv.net/tikigalharkins/LETSTALKASPERGERS

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

>

> It's nice to know I'm not the only one in the world that has a problem

> with loud noises,

> blaring music and too many choices.

I work at a store and always turn down the music as far as I can get away

with. Sometimes someone will turn it up and makes me all nervous and

irritable, especially the sales-pitches. I've stopped going to the movies;

one reason being those surround-sound speakers that are turned up way too

high. One time I was at best Buy and they had them on in the electronics

department, I was in the CD department, but the sound was enough to make my

heart race. I quickly paid for my CDs and left the store. I also can't stand

sub-woofers. The bass is just way too overpowering.

Do you have a problem being in a room, car whatever

> with someone who is talking to you and at the same time has the TV or

> radio on?

Yes, especially if it's on a station where they play music I don't like or

commercials. I loathe commercials, both on radio and TV. When I'm in the

care with my son, I always turn down the music, he turns it up, I turn it

down, but I want to talk to him (one of the few times we are able to talk),

and speaking over the music is a lot of effort for me; it wears me out.

> I have a hard time

> sleeping with any type of noise around, music, voices of any type.

I have to wear ear plugs or else every little noise will jolt me awake, like

when I'm just starting to drift off, and then I'm back to square one. Oten

it takes me many hours to fall alsleep anyway, and I only get two hours of

sleep.

In my house I can't go

> to bed, have enough time to calm down and go to sleep before 3-4 am.

> Everyone else

> goes to bed about 12 am 15 minutes later they are snoring till 6 am when

> they get up.

Don't you envy people who can drop off so quickly? But they still get less

than eight hours of sleep.

>

> I can't go into a grocery store when I'm hungry because I will walk out

> empty handed. I'm

> too hungry and there are too many choices.

It's recommended anyway, that people not shop while hungry. If the music is

too loud it will bother me and I get my shopping done a lot quicker.

> And

> if my cell phone rings when I'm in there OMG.

I don't have a cell phone. I hate phones.

D.

[Guest guest]

<I have experienced being better than them at ...not sure what it's

called, but I will notice that someone is being " left out " and will try

to bring them into the conversation (if I have to be in a conversation

at all, that is). >

Rhonda,

Good point-- I think that autistics are often " left out, " and know how it

feels,which gives us a special opportunity to be very empathetic.

I think this is just one example why autistics can actually grow to be very

good in social situations. I had a horrible time understanding social

situations growing up and suffered a lot because of it. I think what made

me different as someone with aspergers was that

-I was extremely sensitive (emotions/ senses seems much finer tuned and

easily disrupted), which led me to cocoon.

-I had no idea how to defend myself. I realized later I was like a space

ship with faulty shields (this is the best metaphor I can think of)

Over the last few years (I'm 30 now), I've been working on defending myself

energetically and retuning my fine sensory system. I've focused on the fact

that all people, animals, plants, things are energy, and operate at

different frequencies. Every person you meet has a frequency and by

creating an " energy-field " around me without letting their energy in (unless

I chose to), I could start to " feel " their energy and learn more about

people. Some people have wonderful energy, some have negative energy, some

have agressive energy, some try to suck your energy. Learning to let in

what I wanted and block what I wanted helped me to relate more normally to

people and gave me the controls to my own emotions.

Also, I'm in the process of " retuning " myself. I still have a lot of work

to do. I have found a lot of peace by moving to the country, where there is

less " mental static " from other people. I'm working on eating only

natural/organic foods and lots of water. I am trying to remove all

advertising from my home products and make as much of what I use as

possible. I'm creating a calmer space everyday and it helps me a lot when I

do venture forth into the world. . .

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[Guest guest]

I have never needed a cell phone. I get few phone calls because

people know i prefer email. Any calls I get can wait till i get to

my landline. Maybe i am just not important enough although all the

other people I work with seem to need them.

> > >if my cell phone rings when I'm in there OMG. The music is too

loud

> > >to hear the person

> > >talk AND do the shopping. THEN people start looking at me

like " take

> > >it outside will ya? "

> >

> > Can't those phones be turned off so they won't ring when it's

inconvenient?

> >

> > Jane

> >

> Of course and I do turn it off during dinner, have appointments

and other things to do. But

> not when I'm expecting an important phone call that must be delt

with.

>

> Kellie

>