Young caregiver in trouble

[Guest guest]

Hello,

I am new to the group and I desperately need some help. I am only 25 years old

and I have been taking care of my mother who is 60 for quite some time now. She

was diagnosed with LBD about 2 years ago. In March of last year I moved from the

bay area back to my hometown to come and stay with her because the doctors did

not want her living alone. I also had a partner at the time and circumstances

led him to living with us as well. I am a very busy individual who goes to

school full time and currently my partner does help in with all of the time gaps

I have in my schedule to help look after my mother. The lease is currently in my

name and my mothers name and my partner's name however is not on the lease. My

mother goes to an Adult Day Health Care facility for physical therapy a couple

times a week and started up a physical relationship with a worker at the

facility. Granted my mother is not totally absent minded and in quasi good

physical shape. I had a big issue with the fact that her relationship was

totally unethical. Well my partner and I confronted him one evening to make sure

what his intentions were and what not. I had bottled up my anger and bit my

tongue for too long that I was a little harsh on him and my mother had ended up

hearing what was going on so now she is livid with not only me, but my partner

as well.

Now just because she feels as though he is controlling her by having an opinion

on her relationship, she hates him and wants him gone from her life. My mother

has always had a way of always getting people in her corner with her version of

everything and sometimes it is hard put out those fires. She is having a lady

who used to be a social worker at her physical therapy place to report me to the

authorities as elder abuse on an emotional level. She keeps threatening to have

me arrested and thrown in jail. I am actively getting a hold of other social

workers through her doctor and the doctors themselves. What hurts me the most is

I really feel as though I have lost my mother already. I am very young and I

don't personally know anyone of my age who has to deal with a loved one with

LBD. Also the fact that I have always put her first and made sure she was always

taken care of. It just feels like a spit in the face.

- Guy