Cancer Scare

[Guest guest]

Life has recently given me a huge Reality Slap, one that forced me to move ACT

out of my head and into my heart.

The situation is this. About a year ago, I noticed that I had a small lump in my

left testicle. Stupidly (and being a typical male, I guess), I did nothing about

it. I told myself that I'd get it checked, but I kept putting it off.

How dumb is that?

As the months passed, it got bigger. But still l did nothing about it. I

continued putting off going to see a doctor. Talk about avoidance and denying

reality!

My dumb behaviour became dumber.

The Slap happened last Sunday when I visited my brother and his family for the

first time in several months. I was shocked to discover that my sister-in-law

has breast cancer and has been through surgery and chemotherapy.

As I talked with her about it, I told her about the lumps I had. She told me to

get them checked as soon as possible. I told her I would, knowing that she'd nag

me until I did.

It took a couple of days, but I went to my local clinic and made an appointment

to see a GP.

Finally taking action made me really scared and anxious for the first time about

what might lie ahead of me. Last night, my stomach was churning and my mind was

racing. I had thoughts like: is it cancer? is it benign? have I left it too

late? what's next? will be able to cope? will I die in a few months?

What helped get me through this chaos was knowing that the anxiety and fear and

racing thoughts I had was entirely normal. I wouldn't be human if I didn't. I

practiced noticing my feelings and thanking my mind's efforts to solve what it

saw as a threat to its survival. They didn't go away (I didn't expect them to)

but neither did they escalate.

A couple of hours before I went to bed, I distracted myself by playing Batman:

Arkham City on my Playstation (a great game btw). Giving myself a break by

stepping outside the real world into a fantasy one is good from time to time!

After an intimate examination by my GP, he said that I have something called an

epididymal cyst. It's benign and doesn't require treatment unless it becomes

painful. I need to have an ultrasound to confirm the diagnosis, but so far it's

looking good.

Whew!

So, what did I learn from all this?

A few things, but the biggest lesson for me is that it's important to find out

the truth about what reality throws our way, and as soon as we can. Without

facts to guide us, our minds will spin all kinds of fantasies. The truth may set

us free or it may not, but either way, it gives us a realistic place from which

to move forward.

As the old saying goes, you can't get from one end of life to the other without

treading in something. It's what you do when something is sticking to your feet

and how you deal with it that matters.

Thank you Russ and for writing your wonderful books. Without them I'd

have been caught in a whirlpool of nightmares.

Cheers,

Stan