RE: how has our mind ..@bruce:-))

[Guest guest]

Hi Bruce:-)THANK YOU so much for ur email. I can understand what u must be going through right now. It is not easy to shift from a problem-solving mode to a mindful- appreciation mode. It is however not impossible. Just takes commitment to practising being mindful on a regular basis. I don't believe at all that u have lost the ability. I absolutely c in all ur emails that u r able to recognise exactly when and where u r stuck, however what u need help with is perhaps a little motivation to keep moving forward, despite what pain ur experecing, by seeing ur present moment in it's fullness, and not how ur mind is evaluating it based on solely the painful expererieces . <<<Right now, I woke up with thoughts on how much this knee surgery is

going to cost me financially. I have insurance and can pay what is

needed. But I'm just going around and around on the whether this or

that will be covered and how I'm going to survive this. It's very

painful to contemplate and this point, useless, too.>>>What has happened, has already happened, what is up to u is how r u going to handle this. Excessively worrying will not give u any solutions, infact u r minimizing ur resources everytime u get too absorbed by the "what if" thoughts of the future. C if u can Simply notice them, rather than being derailed by them. Whether those thoughts r telling u something true or not about ur situation, if being caught up in them is resulting in nothing but worrying, sadness, anxiety, feelings of hopelessness, then perhaps these thoughts r UNHELPFUL, even thought they seem imp. Perhaps taking things one step at a time, 1 day at a time, and focusing in ur present first, as this moment is actually all we have and need to work with, that might give u a sense of calm, and open up ur resources. u will be able to plan out better when ur mind is more relaxed, as u will not jump to neg. evalutaions and catastrophising. How u handle urself in this moment, will influence ur next, so don't let all those worries about the future influence every moment that follows. I am not sure if others can put worries aside and move on. Personally it doesn;t come naturally to me. I have to conciously make this choice. Fortunately i have the ability to make a choice, so i c that as a huge positive, even though i might not have the choice of what pain i might be inflicted with. I like to move on, not by simply putting my worries aside, or pretending that they don't exist for the moment. I accept it when things don't go as i wished, yet try to c how can i move on, in the best way i can, with what i have right now. I know u will be just fine Bruce, once u start to appreciate each moment of ur life just as it is, without the desire to wish it were diff. I could be wishing all i want, however that would only keep me living in my mind, and not in my reality. there's this quote by (i forgot) i really love, i forgot what the exact words r, something like this " If ur is not clowded by unnecessary things, then this is the best season of ur life"u tc bruceand if i sound harsh i do sincerely apologizewasalaam:-)"" Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.

That way, when you criticize them, you're already a mile away AND you have their

shoes." ~ a very pious intellectualTo: ACT_for_the_Public From: onebnz@...Date: Tue, 6 Dec 2011 10:24:37 -0800Subject: Re: how has our mind evolved to think negatively?

Hi :I believe the five times more negative than positive thoughts statement. My thoughts are definitely always on problems to solve and hopefully avoid. I especially do this with problems where it's already too late to take effective action. That's not a fun place to be.Right now, I woke up with thoughts on how much this knee surgery is going to cost me financially. I have insurance and can pay what is needed. But I'm just going around and around on the whether this or that will be covered and how I'm going to survive this. It's very painful to contemplate and this point, useless, too. Can other people really put aside worries like this and get into their lives? I think so and I seem to have lost the ability.Thanks,Bruce

[Guest guest]

Thank you, . I appreciate the encouragement. What you say makes a lot of sense. I really do need to appreciate each moment and not wish it were different. What I am worried about has not happened yet. I could still have a good day today. It's just that my problem-solving mind is so eager to solve this one and it can't. I can't brute force think myself into a solution. I have to trust in the world to carry me through. Something good to meditate on.Bruce Hi Bruce:-)THANK YOU so much for ur email. I can understand what u must be going through right now. It is not easy to shift from a problem-solving mode to a mindful- appreciation mode. It is however not impossible. Just takes commitment to practising being mindful on a regular basis. I don't believe at all that u have lost the ability. I absolutely c in all ur emails that u r able to recognise exactly when and where u r stuck, however what u need help with is perhaps a little motivation to keep moving forward, despite what pain ur experecing, by seeing ur present moment in it's fullness, and not how ur mind is evaluating it based on solely the painful expererieces . <<<Right now, I woke up with thoughts on how much this knee surgery is going to cost me financially. I have insurance and can pay what is needed. But I'm just going around and around on the whether this or that will be covered and how I'm going to survive this. It's very painful to contemplate and this point, useless, too.>>>What has happened, has already happened, what is up to u is how r u going to handle this. Excessively worrying will not give u any solutions, infact u r minimizing ur resources everytime u get too absorbed by the "what if" thoughts of the future. C if u can Simply notice them, rather than being derailed by them. Whether those thoughts r telling u something true or not about ur situation, if being caught up in them is resulting in nothing but worrying, sadness, anxiety, feelings of hopelessness, then perhaps these thoughts r UNHELPFUL, even thought they seem imp. Perhaps taking things one step at a time, 1 day at a time, and focusing in ur present first, as this moment is actually all we have and need to work with, that might give u a sense of calm, and open up ur resources. u will be able to plan out better when ur mind is more relaxed, as u will not jump to neg. evalutaions and catastrophising. How u handle urself in this moment, will influence ur next, so don't let all those worries about the future influence every moment that follows. I am not sure if others can put worries aside and move on. Personally it doesn;t come naturally to me. I have to conciously make this choice. Fortunately i have the ability to make a choice, so i c that as a huge positive, even though i might not have the choice of what pain i might be inflicted with. I like to move on, not by simply putting my worries aside, or pretending that they don't exist for the moment. I accept it when things don't go as i wished, yet try to c how can i move on, in the best way i can, with what i have right now. I know u will be just fine Bruce, once u start to appreciate each moment of ur life just as it is, without the desire to wish it were diff. I could be wishing all i want, however that would only keep me living in my mind, and not in my reality. there's this quote by (i forgot) i really love, i forgot what the exact words r, something like this " If ur is not clowded by unnecessary things, then this is the best season of ur life"u tc bruceand if i sound harsh i do sincerely apologizewasalaam:-)"" Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're already a mile away AND you have their shoes." ~ a very pious intellectualTo: ACT_for_the_Public From: onebnz@...Date: Tue, 6 Dec 2011 10:24:37 -0800Subject: Re: how has our mind evolved to think negatively? Hi :I believe the five times more negative than positive thoughts statement. My thoughts are definitely always on problems to solve and hopefully avoid. I especially do this with problems where it's already too late to take effective action. That's not a fun place to be.Right now, I woke up with thoughts on how much this knee surgery is going to cost me financially. I have insurance and can pay what is needed. But I'm just going around and around on the whether this or that will be covered and how I'm going to survive this. It's very painful to contemplate and this point, useless, too. Can other people really put aside worries like this and get into their lives? I think so and I seem to have lost the ability.Thanks,Bruce

[Guest guest]

Hi Bruce - if I can add to 's great post... What I find really useful when I feel down in the dumps is to start a gratitude journal. Actually phyically write down 5 things that you are grateful for every day. In your case it might be, 'I am grateful that I live in a country were treatment is possible, I am grateful for the rest of my body that works so well, I am grateful for my family who support me, ....get the idea? It always manages to shift my perspective- and I think there has been some research into gratitude which shows that it really can turn things around. Sometimes we have to train ourselves to think that way. Best of luck

Simone

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Tuesday, 6 December 2011, 23:59Subject: Re: RE: how has our mind ..@bruce:-))

Thank you, . I appreciate the encouragement. What you say makes a lot of sense. I really do need to appreciate each moment and not wish it were different. What I am worried about has not happened yet. I could still have a good day today. It's just that my problem-solving mind is so eager to solve this one and it can't. I can't brute force think myself into a solution. I have to trust in the world to carry me through. Something good to meditate on.

Bruce

Hi Bruce:-)THANK YOU so much for ur email. I can understand what u must be going through right now. It is not easy to shift from a problem-solving mode to a mindful- appreciation mode. It is however not impossible. Just takes commitment to practising being mindful on a regular basis. I don't believe at all that u have lost the ability. I absolutely c in all ur emails that u r able to recognise exactly when and where u r stuck, however what u need help with is perhaps a little motivation to keep moving forward, despite what pain ur experecing, by seeing ur present moment in it's fullness, and not how ur mind is evaluating it based on solely the painful expererieces . <<<Right now, I woke up with thoughts on how much this knee surgery is going to cost me financially. I have insurance and can pay what is needed. But I'm just going around and around on the whether this or that will

be covered and how I'm going to survive this. It's very painful to contemplate and this point, useless, too.>>>What has happened, has already happened, what is up to u is how r u going to handle this. Excessively worrying will not give u any solutions, infact u r minimizing ur resources everytime u get too absorbed by the "what if" thoughts of the future. C if u can Simply notice them, rather than being derailed by them. Whether those thoughts r telling u something true or not about ur situation, if being caught up in them is resulting in nothing but worrying, sadness, anxiety, feelings of hopelessness, then perhaps these thoughts r UNHELPFUL, even thought they seem imp. Perhaps taking things one step at a time, 1 day at a time, and focusing in ur present first, as this moment is actually all we have and need to work with, that might give u a sense of calm, and open up ur resources. u will be able to

plan out better when ur mind is more relaxed, as u will not jump to neg. evalutaions and catastrophising. How u handle urself in this moment, will influence ur next, so don't let all those worries about the future influence every moment that follows. I am not sure if others can put worries aside and move on. Personally it doesn;t come naturally to me. I have to conciously make this choice. Fortunately i have the ability to make a choice, so i c that as a huge positive, even though i might not have the choice of what pain i might be inflicted with. I like to move on, not by simply putting my worries aside, or pretending that they don't exist for the moment. I accept it when things don't go as i wished, yet try to c how can i move on, in the best way i can, with what i have right now. I know u will be just fine Bruce, once u start to appreciate each moment of ur life just as it is, without the desire to wish it were diff. I

could be wishing all i want, however that would only keep me living in my mind, and not in my reality. there's this quote by (i forgot) i really love, i forgot what the exact words r, something like this " If ur is not clowded by unnecessary things, then this is the best season of ur life"u tc bruceand if i sound harsh i do sincerely apologizewasalaam:-)

"" Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're already a mile away AND you have their shoes." ~ a very pious intellectual

To: ACT_for_the_Public From: onebnz@...Date: Tue, 6 Dec 2011 10:24:37 -0800Subject: Re: how has our mind evolved to think negatively?

Hi :

I believe the five times more negative than positive thoughts statement. My thoughts are definitely always on problems to solve and hopefully avoid. I especially do this with problems where it's already too late to take effective action. That's not a fun place to be.

Right now, I woke up with thoughts on how much this knee surgery is going to cost me financially. I have insurance and can pay what is needed. But I'm just going around and around on the whether this or that will be covered and how I'm going to survive this. It's very painful to contemplate and this point, useless, too. Can other people really put aside worries like this and get into their lives? I think so and I seem to have lost the ability.

Thanks,

Bruce

[Guest guest]

Hi Simone:The gratitude list is a great idea. I am already doing that with a list I write in every day. Thanks for reminding me to do it today.I am really in the grip of negative thoughts this morning. I'm trying to diffuse but am really, really stuck. My body is in a real state of agitation and time is really dragging. Maybe a little gratitude will help. I need a shift, that's for sure.Thanks,Bruce Hi Bruce - if I can add to 's great post... What I find really useful when I feel down in the dumps is to start a gratitude journal. Actually phyically write down 5 things that you are grateful for every day. In your case it might be, 'I am grateful that I live in a country were treatment is possible, I am grateful for the rest of my body that works so well, I am grateful for my family who support me, ....get the idea? It always manages to shift my perspective- and I think there has been some research into gratitude which shows that it really can turn things around. Sometimes we have to train ourselves to think that way. Best of luck Simone To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Tuesday, 6 December 2011, 23:59Subject: Re: RE: how has our mind ..@bruce:-)) Thank you, . I appreciate the encouragement. What you say makes a lot of sense. I really do need to appreciate each moment and not wish it were different. What I am worried about has not happened yet. I could still have a good day today. It's just that my problem-solving mind is so eager to solve this one and it can't. I can't brute force think myself into a solution. I have to trust in the world to carry me through. Something good to meditate on. Bruce Hi Bruce:-)THANK YOU so much for ur email. I can understand what u must be going through right now. It is not easy to shift from a problem-solving mode to a mindful- appreciation mode. It is however not impossible. Just takes commitment to practising being mindful on a regular basis. I don't believe at all that u have lost the ability. I absolutely c in all ur emails that u r able to recognise exactly when and where u r stuck, however what u need help with is perhaps a little motivation to keep moving forward, despite what pain ur experecing, by seeing ur present moment in it's fullness, and not how ur mind is evaluating it based on solely the painful expererieces . <<<Right now, I woke up with thoughts on how much this knee surgery is going to cost me financially. I have insurance and can pay what is needed. But I'm just going around and around on the whether this or that will be covered and how I'm going to survive this. It's very painful to contemplate and this point, useless, too.>>>What has happened, has already happened, what is up to u is how r u going to handle this. Excessively worrying will not give u any solutions, infact u r minimizing ur resources everytime u get too absorbed by the "what if" thoughts of the future. C if u can Simply notice them, rather than being derailed by them. Whether those thoughts r telling u something true or not about ur situation, if being caught up in them is resulting in nothing but worrying, sadness, anxiety, feelings of hopelessness, then perhaps these thoughts r UNHELPFUL, even thought they seem imp. Perhaps taking things one step at a time, 1 day at a time, and focusing in ur present first, as this moment is actually all we have and need to work with, that might give u a sense of calm, and open up ur resources. u will be able to plan out better when ur mind is more relaxed, as u will not jump to neg. evalutaions and catastrophising. How u handle urself in this moment, will influence ur next, so don't let all those worries about the future influence every moment that follows. I am not sure if others can put worries aside and move on. Personally it doesn;t come naturally to me. I have to conciously make this choice. Fortunately i have the ability to make a choice, so i c that as a huge positive, even though i might not have the choice of what pain i might be inflicted with. I like to move on, not by simply putting my worries aside, or pretending that they don't exist for the moment. I accept it when things don't go as i wished, yet try to c how can i move on, in the best way i can, with what i have right now. I know u will be just fine Bruce, once u start to appreciate each moment of ur life just as it is, without the desire to wish it were diff. I could be wishing all i want, however that would only keep me living in my mind, and not in my reality. there's this quote by (i forgot) i really love, i forgot what the exact words r, something like this " If ur is not clowded by unnecessary things, then this is the best season of ur life"u tc bruceand if i sound harsh i do sincerely apologizewasalaam:-) "" Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're already a mile away AND you have their shoes." ~ a very pious intellectual To: ACT_for_the_Public From: onebnz@...Date: Tue, 6 Dec 2011 10:24:37 -0800Subject: Re: how has our mind evolved to think negatively? Hi : I believe the five times more negative than positive thoughts statement. My thoughts are definitely always on problems to solve and hopefully avoid. I especially do this with problems where it's already too late to take effective action. That's not a fun place to be. Right now, I woke up with thoughts on how much this knee surgery is going to cost me financially. I have insurance and can pay what is needed. But I'm just going around and around on the whether this or that will be covered and how I'm going to survive this. It's very painful to contemplate and this point, useless, too. Can other people really put aside worries like this and get into their lives? I think so and I seem to have lost the ability. Thanks, Bruce

[Guest guest]

Hi Simone & Bruce:-)The idea of starting a gratitude journey is wonderful. And i really like how simone gave an e.g. here to break it down. It definately helps in changing ourperspective. I remember not too long ago marteen posted an article about gratitude, which was wonderful. I even used parts of it in my talks at my public speaking class and my talk in my community. here's a few lines from the Marteen's post that really stuck in my head:"Gratitude is conciously acknowleding all the positive things that come our way that we did not acitevly work towards, neither did we ask for... It's is the inner gesture of giving meaning to our life by receiving life as gift....gratitude is a choice we make that one we can

adopt through the good as well as the difficult seasons of life.

The daily practice of gratitude keeps the heart open regardless of what

comes our way."@ Bruce, when i find myself getting stuck with defusion, usually I need to stop and clarify 'my purpose' behind it. If defusing with a strong desire to somehow control/minimize the unbearable feelings/emotions that accompany the thoughts, then i catch myself not defusing , rather somehow tolerating the neg. thoughts. Defusion in itself is an acceptance technique, and what i realize is that i need to not just allow the neg thoughts to be there and let them leave on their own accord, without necessarily wanting/or waiting for them to leave, but i also have to allow those painful feelings to just be, and let them rize and fall in their own accord. Allowing those thoughts to be there would mean that u tell urself that their content, no matter how imp it MAY seem, right now is not 'helping' u in anyway, infact is resulting in nothing but u feeling more stuck. wasalaam:-)-K Designs."" Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.

That way, when you criticize them, you're already a mile away AND you have their

shoes." ~ a very pious intellectualTo: ACT_for_the_Public From: onebnz@...Date: Wed, 7 Dec 2011 09:51:08 -0800Subject: Re: RE: how has our mind ..@bruce:-))

Hi Simone:The gratitude list is a great idea. I am already doing that with a list I write in every day. Thanks for reminding me to do it today.I am really in the grip of negative thoughts this morning. I'm trying to diffuse but am really, really stuck. My body is in a real state of agitation and time is really dragging. Maybe a little gratitude will help. I need a shift, that's for sure.Thanks,Bruce Hi Bruce - if I can add to 's great post... What I find really useful when I feel down in the dumps is to start a gratitude journal. Actually phyically write down 5 things that you are grateful for every day. In your case it might be, 'I am grateful that I live in a country were treatment is possible, I am grateful for the rest of my body that works so well, I am grateful for my family who support me, ....get the idea? It always manages to shift my perspective- and I think there has been some research into gratitude which shows that it really can turn things around. Sometimes we have to train ourselves to think that way. Best of luck Simone To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Tuesday, 6 December 2011, 23:59Subject: Re: RE: how has our mind ..@bruce:-)) Thank you, . I appreciate the encouragement. What you say makes a lot of sense. I really do need to appreciate each moment and not wish it were different. What I am worried about has not happened yet. I could still have a good day today. It's just that my problem-solving mind is so eager to solve this one and it can't. I can't brute force think myself into a solution. I have to trust in the world to carry me through. Something good to meditate on. Bruce Hi Bruce:-)THANK YOU so much for ur email. I can understand what u must be going through right now. It is not easy to shift from a problem-solving mode to a mindful- appreciation mode. It is however not impossible. Just takes commitment to practising being mindful on a regular basis. I don't believe at all that u have lost the ability. I absolutely c in all ur emails that u r able to recognise exactly when and where u r stuck, however what u need help with is perhaps a little motivation to keep moving forward, despite what pain ur experecing, by seeing ur present moment in it's fullness, and not how ur mind is evaluating it based on solely the painful expererieces . <<<Right now, I woke up with thoughts on how much this knee surgery is going to cost me financially. I have insurance and can pay what is needed. But I'm just going around and around on the whether this or that will be covered and how I'm going to survive this. It's very painful to contemplate and this point, useless, too.>>>What has happened, has already happened, what is up to u is how r u going to handle this. Excessively worrying will not give u any solutions, infact u r minimizing ur resources everytime u get too absorbed by the "what if" thoughts of the future. C if u can Simply notice them, rather than being derailed by them. Whether those thoughts r telling u something true or not about ur situation, if being caught up in them is resulting in nothing but worrying, sadness, anxiety, feelings of hopelessness, then perhaps these thoughts r UNHELPFUL, even thought they seem imp. Perhaps taking things one step at a time, 1 day at a time, and focusing in ur present first, as this moment is actually all we have and need to work with, that might give u a sense of calm, and open up ur resources. u will be able to plan out better when ur mind is more relaxed, as u will not jump to neg. evalutaions and catastrophising. How u handle urself in this moment, will influence ur next, so don't let all those worries about the future influence every moment that follows. I am not sure if others can put worries aside and move on. Personally it doesn;t come naturally to me. I have to conciously make this choice. Fortunately i have the ability to make a choice, so i c that as a huge positive, even though i might not have the choice of what pain i might be inflicted with. I like to move on, not by simply putting my worries aside, or pretending that they don't exist for the moment. I accept it when things don't go as i wished, yet try to c how can i move on, in the best way i can, with what i have right now. I know u will be just fine Bruce, once u start to appreciate each moment of ur life just as it is, without the desire to wish it were diff. I could be wishing all i want, however that would only keep me living in my mind, and not in my reality. there's this quote by (i forgot) i really love, i forgot what the exact words r, something like this " If ur is not clowded by unnecessary things, then this is the best season of ur life"u tc bruceand if i sound harsh i do sincerely apologizewasalaam:-) "" Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're already a mile away AND you have their shoes." ~ a very pious intellectual To: ACT_for_the_Public From: onebnz@...Date: Tue, 6 Dec 2011 10:24:37 -0800Subject: Re: how has our mind evolved to think negatively? Hi : I believe the five times more negative than positive thoughts statement. My thoughts are definitely always on problems to solve and hopefully avoid. I especially do this with problems where it's already too late to take effective action. That's not a fun place to be. Right now, I woke up with thoughts on how much this knee surgery is going to cost me financially. I have insurance and can pay what is needed. But I'm just going around and around on the whether this or that will be covered and how I'm going to survive this. It's very painful to contemplate and this point, useless, too. Can other people really put aside worries like this and get into their lives? I think so and I seem to have lost the ability. Thanks, Bruce