Re: Re: Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions

[Guest guest]

Lou - I'm glad to help. The value of my question/statement will probably be short-lived. It merely pointed out what was going on. The long term benefit will come from you recognizing unhelpful thoughts yourself and defusing from them on the fly. There is no substitute for deliberately invoking a defusion technique each and every time one of those thoughts appears. It's one thing to know about defusion and even to know when to use the technique. It's an entirely different thing to actually say to yourself, out loud if appropriate, "THANK YOU MIND" or something else that works for you. It must be an honest statement. No fingers crossed behind your back. I continue to be surprised each time I actually say the words. Nothing short of saying them works for me.I wonder how many on this list have experienced the difference between knowing to defuse and actually using an exercise to defuse?Practice, practice, practice.Oh, and accept that this will take time. In the meantime, be kind to yourself.BillTo: ACT_for_the_Public From: experiential2010@...Date: Tue, 29 Nov 2011 07:45:21 +0000Subject: Re: Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions

Bill,

I was so keen to get back to you today. Mate your advice was golden. Specifically....."...Who said you were used and are without worth? A great place for defusion." I took that statement into my moments at work today. There's that programed mind playing with me again (and I let it, *sigh*, there is self compassion *sigh again*). It was so much easier today and I really feel like I'm levelling out.

Thank you a million times over.

Lou :-)

>

>

> Hi Lou

> Your first paragraph describes acceptance. Replicate this as often as necessary.

> The first part of the second paragraph describes committed action "I work with lots of different people in the community". Keep doing the things you value.

> The second part of the second paragraph is struggle - "I felt used, to be without worth." Who said you were used and are without worth? A great place for defusion.

> Nice work. You lived a valued life. Take a bow.

> Bill

>

>

> To: ACT_for_the_Public

> From: experiential2010@...

> Date: Mon, 28 Nov 2011 07:35:40 +0000

> Subject: Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions

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> I'm learning how emotions ebb and flow recently and have practiced for long enough to be able to catch it more often. After a grizzly night wanting sleep more than anything, I woke this morning to the familiar choked throat and crossed brow. I used my breath and feeling my feet on the floor to get moving...it worked.

>

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> During the course of my day I experienced a variety of emotions at high intensity, they were all intense. I felt energized, positive and genuinely happy when I took someone with Parkinson's to the gym for a workout. (I work with lots of different people in the community). Within half an hour of finishing that I was cooking for a person who uses a wheelchair and I felt used, to be without worth and genuinely sad as this person can be impatient and rude. I went back to the noisy office and attempted to still myself and work on my ability to remain focused on my computer.

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> Now my daughter is on the way over for dinner. Wow, those emotions just keep coming like the tide, at least I now have a floatation device.

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> Affect oriented Lou :-?

>

[Guest guest]

'I wonder how many on this list have experienced the difference between knowing to defuse and actually using an exercise to defuse?'

Bill - I think that is me down to a tee! And I think I have wasted a lot of time doing just that. I have had success when I make myself sit down and practice defusion - trouble is, finding that space is tricky. Also I have to find the knack of doing it on the hoof - Thanks Mind doesn't always work - but imagining the thoughts written on pieces of paper on my lap seems to do the trick. A work in progress....

simone

To: ACT_for_the_Public <act_for_the_public > Sent: Tuesday, 29 November 2011, 15:47Subject: RE: Re: Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions

Lou - I'm glad to help. The value of my question/statement will probably be short-lived. It merely pointed out what was going on. The long term benefit will come from you recognizing unhelpful thoughts yourself and defusing from them on the fly. There is no substitute for deliberately invoking a defusion technique each and every time one of those thoughts appears. It's one thing to know about defusion and even to know when to use the technique. It's an entirely different thing to actually say to yourself, out loud if appropriate, "THANK YOU MIND" or something else that works for you. It must be an honest statement. No fingers crossed behind your back. I continue to be surprised each time I actually say the words. Nothing short of saying them works for me.

I wonder how many on this list have experienced the difference between knowing to defuse and actually using an exercise to defuse?

Practice, practice, practice.

Oh, and accept that this will take time. In the meantime, be kind to yourself.

Bill

To: ACT_for_the_Public From: experiential2010@...Date: Tue, 29 Nov 2011 07:45:21 +0000Subject: Re: Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions

Bill,I was so keen to get back to you today. Mate your advice was golden. Specifically....."...Who said you were used and are without worth? A great place for defusion." I took that statement into my moments at work today. There's that programed mind playing with me again (and I let it, *sigh*, there is self compassion *sigh again*). It was so much easier today and I really feel like I'm levelling out. Thank you a million times over.Lou :-) >> > Hi Lou> Your first paragraph describes acceptance. Replicate this as often as necessary.> The first part of the second paragraph describes committed action "I work with lots of different people in the

community". Keep doing the things you value.> The second part of the second paragraph is struggle - "I felt used, to be without worth." Who said you were used and are without worth? A great place for defusion.> Nice work. You lived a valued life. Take a bow.> Bill> > > To: ACT_for_the_Public > Date: Mon, 28 Nov 2011 07:35:40 +0000> Subject: Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm learning how emotions ebb and flow

recently and have practiced for long enough to be able to catch it more often. After a grizzly night wanting sleep more than anything, I woke this morning to the familiar choked throat and crossed brow. I used my breath and feeling my feet on the floor to get moving...it worked.> > > > During the course of my day I experienced a variety of emotions at high intensity, they were all intense. I felt energized, positive and genuinely happy when I took someone with Parkinson's to the gym for a workout. (I work with lots of different people in the community). Within half an hour of finishing that I was cooking for a person who uses a wheelchair and I felt used, to be without worth and genuinely sad as this person can be impatient and rude. I went back to the noisy office and attempted to still myself and work on my ability to remain focused on my computer. > > > > Now my daughter is on the way over for

dinner. Wow, those emotions just keep coming like the tide, at least I now have a floatation device.> > > > Affect oriented Lou :-?>

[Guest guest]

Simone - For me defusion is not a sitting down process. Our thinking selves can have a heyday if we wait to find time to sit down and defuse. I know it's hard.Yesterday I got hooked on a very silly, albeit scary thought. I knew it was not useful, even if true. I knew to defuse but I choose to try to rationalize and intellectualize the thought. After several hours I got tired of the whole thing and thanked my mind out loud. All but a few remnants of the thought disappeared. I wanted to stay home all day and be miserable about the worst case outcome but I stayed with my committed action plan for the day (well, I did take an extra long nap! but that counts too now that I've added a value of taking care of myself). I gave myself a B+ for living a valued life yesterday. If I was grading how I felt it would have not been a passing grade, but I don't grade how I feel. I accept whatever it is (kind of. :)I like you defusion method of imaging your thoughts on a piece of paper. That seems like it would make you look more objectively at them. Actually writing them down might work too. When I get enough nerve, I will vocalize my scary thoughts to my wife. They sound really silly when they come out of my mouth. My wife just smiles and chuckles.BillTo: ACT_for_the_Public From: adrianandboo@...Date: Tue, 29 Nov 2011 16:08:28 +0000Subject: Re: Re: Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions

'I wonder how many on this list have experienced the difference between knowing to defuse and actually using an exercise to defuse?'

Bill - I think that is me down to a tee! And I think I have wasted a lot of time doing just that. I have had success when I make myself sit down and practice defusion - trouble is, finding that space is tricky. Also I have to find the knack of doing it on the hoof - Thanks Mind doesn't always work - but imagining the thoughts written on pieces of paper on my lap seems to do the trick. A work in progress....

simone

To: ACT_for_the_Public <act_for_the_public > Sent: Tuesday, 29 November 2011, 15:47Subject: RE: Re: Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions

Lou - I'm glad to help. The value of my question/statement will probably be short-lived. It merely pointed out what was going on. The long term benefit will come from you recognizing unhelpful thoughts yourself and defusing from them on the fly. There is no substitute for deliberately invoking a defusion technique each and every time one of those thoughts appears. It's one thing to know about defusion and even to know when to use the technique. It's an entirely different thing to actually say to yourself, out loud if appropriate, "THANK YOU MIND" or something else that works for you. It must be an honest statement. No fingers crossed behind your back. I continue to be surprised each time I actually say the words. Nothing short of saying them works for me.

I wonder how many on this list have experienced the difference between knowing to defuse and actually using an exercise to defuse?

Practice, practice, practice.

Oh, and accept that this will take time. In the meantime, be kind to yourself.

Bill

To: ACT_for_the_Public From: experiential2010@...Date: Tue, 29 Nov 2011 07:45:21 +0000Subject: Re: Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions

Bill,I was so keen to get back to you today. Mate your advice was golden. Specifically....."...Who said you were used and are without worth? A great place for defusion." I took that statement into my moments at work today. There's that programed mind playing with me again (and I let it, *sigh*, there is self compassion *sigh again*). It was so much easier today and I really feel like I'm levelling out. Thank you a million times over.Lou :-) >> > Hi Lou> Your first paragraph describes acceptance. Replicate this as often as necessary.> The first part of the second paragraph describes committed action "I work with lots of different people in the

community". Keep doing the things you value.> The second part of the second paragraph is struggle - "I felt used, to be without worth." Who said you were used and are without worth? A great place for defusion.> Nice work. You lived a valued life. Take a bow.> Bill> > > To: ACT_for_the_Public > Date: Mon, 28 Nov 2011 07:35:40 +0000> Subject: Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm learning how emotions ebb and flow

recently and have practiced for long enough to be able to catch it more often. After a grizzly night wanting sleep more than anything, I woke this morning to the familiar choked throat and crossed brow. I used my breath and feeling my feet on the floor to get moving...it worked.> > > > During the course of my day I experienced a variety of emotions at high intensity, they were all intense. I felt energized, positive and genuinely happy when I took someone with Parkinson's to the gym for a workout. (I work with lots of different people in the community). Within half an hour of finishing that I was cooking for a person who uses a wheelchair and I felt used, to be without worth and genuinely sad as this person can be impatient and rude. I went back to the noisy office and attempted to still myself and work on my ability to remain focused on my computer. > > > > Now my daughter is on the way over for

dinner. Wow, those emotions just keep coming like the tide, at least I now have a floatation device.> > > > Affect oriented Lou :-?>

[Guest guest]

Diffusion is a very difficult thing for me and I'm getting a lot out of this discussion. It's so helpful to know that others struggle with silly thoughts that are not useful. I'm tired of the whole thing too but my mind keeps wanting to bring me back to the same points of worry. And then when that worry goes, a new one slides right into its place. I like the idea of imagining thoughts on pieces of paper. Are there other methods that people use to diffuse? I know Leaves on a Stream is one method but that's a long meditation and I haven't connected that well with it. Diffusion holds such promise for me and I'd love to be able to master it.Bruce Simone - For me defusion is not a sitting down process. Our thinking selves can have a heyday if we wait to find time to sit down and defuse. I know it's hard.Yesterday I got hooked on a very silly, albeit scary thought. I knew it was not useful, even if true. I knew to defuse but I choose to try to rationalize and intellectualize the thought. After several hours I got tired of the whole thing and thanked my mind out loud. All but a few remnants of the thought disappeared. I wanted to stay home all day and be miserable about the worst case outcome but I stayed with my committed action plan for the day (well, I did take an extra long nap! but that counts too now that I've added a value of taking care of myself). I gave myself a B+ for living a valued life yesterday. If I was grading how I felt it would have not been a passing grade, but I don't grade how I feel. I accept whatever it is (kind of. :)I like you defusion method of imaging your thoughts on a piece of paper. That seems like it would make you look more objectively at them. Actually writing them down might work too. When I get enough nerve, I will vocalize my scary thoughts to my wife. They sound really silly when they come out of my mouth. My wife just smiles and chuckles.BillTo: ACT_for_the_Public From: adrianandboo@...Date: Tue, 29 Nov 2011 16:08:28 +0000Subject: Re: Re: Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions 'I wonder how many on this list have experienced the difference between knowing to defuse and actually using an exercise to defuse?' Bill - I think that is me down to a tee! And I think I have wasted a lot of time doing just that. I have had success when I make myself sit down and practice defusion - trouble is, finding that space is tricky. Also I have to find the knack of doing it on the hoof - Thanks Mind doesn't always work - but imagining the thoughts written on pieces of paper on my lap seems to do the trick. A work in progress.... simone To: ACT_for_the_Public <act_for_the_public > Sent: Tuesday, 29 November 2011, 15:47Subject: RE: Re: Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions Lou - I'm glad to help. The value of my question/statement will probably be short-lived. It merely pointed out what was going on. The long term benefit will come from you recognizing unhelpful thoughts yourself and defusing from them on the fly. There is no substitute for deliberately invoking a defusion technique each and every time one of those thoughts appears. It's one thing to know about defusion and even to know when to use the technique. It's an entirely different thing to actually say to yourself, out loud if appropriate, "THANK YOU MIND" or something else that works for you. It must be an honest statement. No fingers crossed behind your back. I continue to be surprised each time I actually say the words. Nothing short of saying them works for me. I wonder how many on this list have experienced the difference between knowing to defuse and actually using an exercise to defuse? Practice, practice, practice. Oh, and accept that this will take time. In the meantime, be kind to yourself. Bill To: ACT_for_the_Public From: experiential2010@...Date: Tue, 29 Nov 2011 07:45:21 +0000Subject: Re: Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions Bill,I was so keen to get back to you today. Mate your advice was golden. Specifically....."...Who said you were used and are without worth? A great place for defusion." I took that statement into my moments at work today. There's that programed mind playing with me again (and I let it, *sigh*, there is self compassion *sigh again*). It was so much easier today and I really feel like I'm levelling out. Thank you a million times over.Lou :-) >> > Hi Lou> Your first paragraph describes acceptance. Replicate this as often as necessary.> The first part of the second paragraph describes committed action "I work with lots of different people in the community". Keep doing the things you value.> The second part of the second paragraph is struggle - "I felt used, to be without worth." Who said you were used and are without worth? A great place for defusion.> Nice work. You lived a valued life. Take a bow.> Bill> > > To: ACT_for_the_Public > Date: Mon, 28 Nov 2011 07:35:40 +0000> Subject: Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm learning how emotions ebb and flow recently and have practiced for long enough to be able to catch it more often. After a grizzly night wanting sleep more than anything, I woke this morning to the familiar choked throat and crossed brow. I used my breath and feeling my feet on the floor to get moving...it worked.> > > > During the course of my day I experienced a variety of emotions at high intensity, they were all intense. I felt energized, positive and genuinely happy when I took someone with Parkinson's to the gym for a workout. (I work with lots of different people in the community). Within half an hour of finishing that I was cooking for a person who uses a wheelchair and I felt used, to be without worth and genuinely sad as this person can be impatient and rude. I went back to the noisy office and attempted to still myself and work on my ability to remain focused on my computer. > > > > Now my daughter is on the way over for dinner. Wow, those emotions just keep coming like the tide, at least I now have a floatation device.> > > > Affect oriented Lou :-?>

[Guest guest]

Bruce,

I got the writing thoughts on pieces of paper from Act Made Simple by Russ . It's a book for therapists really - but it is simple, and I've found it very useful. I think the thing is to try lots of different ways - be creative. I've attached some defusion techniques from a useful site that I came across. Try and have some fun with it! And remember we're not aiming to get rid of the thoughts - just unplugging from their electrical charge.

Simone

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Tuesday, 29 November 2011, 17:45Subject: Re: Re: Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions

Diffusion is a very difficult thing for me and I'm getting a lot out of this discussion. It's so helpful to know that others struggle with silly thoughts that are not useful. I'm tired of the whole thing too but my mind keeps wanting to bring me back to the same points of worry. And then when that worry goes, a new one slides right into its place.

I like the idea of imagining thoughts on pieces of paper. Are there other methods that people use to diffuse? I know Leaves on a Stream is one method but that's a long meditation and I haven't connected that well with it. Diffusion holds such promise for me and I'd love to be able to master it.

Bruce

Simone - For me defusion is not a sitting down process. Our thinking selves can have a heyday if we wait to find time to sit down and defuse.

I know it's hard.

Yesterday I got hooked on a very silly, albeit scary thought. I knew it was not useful, even if true. I knew to defuse but I choose to try to rationalize and intellectualize the thought. After several hours I got tired of the whole thing and thanked my mind out loud. All but a few remnants of the thought disappeared. I wanted to stay home all day and be miserable about the worst case outcome but I stayed with my committed action plan for the day (well, I did take an extra long nap! but that counts too now that I've added a value of taking care of myself). I gave myself a B+ for living a valued life yesterday. If I was grading how I felt it would have not been a passing grade, but I don't grade how I feel. I accept whatever it is (kind of.

I like you defusion method of imaging your thoughts on a piece of paper. That seems like it would make you look more objectively at them. Actually writing them down might work too. When I get enough nerve, I will vocalize my scary thoughts to my wife. They sound really silly when they come out of my mouth. My wife just smiles and chuckles.

Bill

To: ACT_for_the_Public From: adrianandboo@...Date: Tue, 29 Nov 2011 16:08:28 +0000Subject: Re: Re: Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions

'I wonder how many on this list have experienced the difference between knowing to defuse and actually using an exercise to defuse?'

Bill - I think that is me down to a tee! And I think I have wasted a lot of time doing just that. I have had success when I make myself sit down and practice defusion - trouble is, finding that space is tricky. Also I have to find the knack of doing it on the hoof - Thanks Mind doesn't always work - but imagining the thoughts written on pieces of paper on my lap seems to do the trick. A work in progress....

simone

To: ACT_for_the_Public <act_for_the_public > Sent: Tuesday, 29 November 2011, 15:47Subject: RE: Re: Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions

Lou - I'm glad to help. The value of my question/statement will probably be short-lived. It merely pointed out what was going on. The long term benefit will come from you recognizing unhelpful thoughts yourself and defusing from them on the fly. There is no substitute for deliberately invoking a defusion technique each and every time one of those thoughts appears. It's one thing to know about defusion and even to know when to use the technique. It's an entirely different thing to actually say to yourself, out loud if appropriate, "THANK YOU MIND" or something else that works for you. It must be an honest statement. No fingers crossed behind your back. I continue to be surprised each time I actually say the words. Nothing short of saying them works for me.

I wonder how many on this list have experienced the difference between knowing to defuse and actually using an exercise to defuse?

Practice, practice, practice.

Oh, and accept that this will take time. In the meantime, be kind to yourself.

Bill

To: ACT_for_the_Public From: experiential2010@...Date: Tue, 29 Nov 2011 07:45:21 +0000Subject: Re: Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions

Bill,I was so keen to get back to you today. Mate your advice was golden. Specifically....."...Who said you were used and are without worth? A great place for defusion." I took that statement into my moments at work today. There's that programed mind playing with me again (and I let it, *sigh*, there is self compassion *sigh again*). It was so much easier today and I really feel like I'm levelling out. Thank you a million times over.Lou :-) >> > Hi Lou> Your first paragraph describes acceptance. Replicate this as often as necessary.> The first part of the second paragraph describes committed action "I work with lots of different

people in the community". Keep doing the things you value.> The second part of the second paragraph is struggle - "I felt used, to be without worth." Who said you were used and are without worth? A great place for defusion.> Nice work. You lived a valued life. Take a bow.> Bill> > > To: ACT_for_the_Public > Date: Mon, 28 Nov 2011 07:35:40 +0000> Subject: Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm learning how emotions

ebb and flow recently and have practiced for long enough to be able to catch it more often. After a grizzly night wanting sleep more than anything, I woke this morning to the familiar choked throat and crossed brow. I used my breath and feeling my feet on the floor to get moving...it worked.> > > > During the course of my day I experienced a variety of emotions at high intensity, they were all intense. I felt energized, positive and genuinely happy when I took someone with Parkinson's to the gym for a workout. (I work with lots of different people in the community). Within half an hour of finishing that I was cooking for a person who uses a wheelchair and I felt used, to be without worth and genuinely sad as this person can be impatient and rude. I went back to the noisy office and attempted to still myself and work on my ability to remain focused on my computer. > > > > Now my daughter is on the

way over for dinner. Wow, those emotions just keep coming like the tide, at least I now have a floatation device.> > > > Affect oriented Lou :-?>

1 of 1 File(s)

Defusing Exercises.pdf

[Guest guest]

Hi Bruce - We get to choose how we think about our thoughts. But we've been on autopilot for so long we don't think we have the choice. Our mind is on autopilot and keeps crashing us into the ground. Defusion lets us switch off the auto pilot and take control of how we think about our thoughts. But we have to turn it off ourselves. Defusion is the process of turning it off - ON A THOUGHT BY THOUGHT BASIS! Gotta turn it off over and over and over, as it is stuck on on.Getting Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life, by , is where I first learned defusion. Chapter 6, Having A Thought Versus Buying A Thought is worth a reread. The first two sentences of paragraph 6 hit the nail on the head for me. "When you learn to view your thoughts as thoughts, occurring in the here and now, you still "know" what they mean" ... But the illusion dissolves that the thing being thought about is present merely when you think about it . My emphasis.Here's another quote from page 71 - "When you think a thought it structures your world. When you see a thought you can still see how it structures your world (you understand what it means) but you also see (I like "notice") that you are doing the structuring." Lou's comment " I felt used, to be without worth." is a great example of someone buying a thought versus just having a thought.Pages 83 through 85 list many cognitive defusion techniques. Any of these will work if you will just do them. None of them will work if you just think about them. Actually trying an exercise or two is much better than thinking about each of them. Right after the list is an excellent section on "Creating Your Own Cognitive Defusion Techniques. The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living, , p. 33, describes defusion as "relating to your thoughts in a new way." Notice that every exercise is designed to get you to think about your thoughts is a new way.Practice, practice, practice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BillBTW, I wrote out the full title of GOOYMAIL on purpose rather than using the acronym. as the title is exactly what we are talking about.To: ACT_for_the_Public From: onebnz@...Date: Tue, 29 Nov 2011 09:45:51 -0800Subject: Re: Re: Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions

Diffusion is a very difficult thing for me and I'm getting a lot out of this discussion. It's so helpful to know that others struggle with silly thoughts that are not useful. I'm tired of the whole thing too but my mind keeps wanting to bring me back to the same points of worry. And then when that worry goes, a new one slides right into its place. I like the idea of imagining thoughts on pieces of paper. Are there other methods that people use to diffuse? I know Leaves on a Stream is one method but that's a long meditation and I haven't connected that well with it. Diffusion holds such promise for me and I'd love to be able to master it.Bruce Simone - For me defusion is not a sitting down process. Our thinking selves can have a heyday if we wait to find time to sit down and defuse. I know it's hard.Yesterday I got hooked on a very silly, albeit scary thought. I knew it was not useful, even if true. I knew to defuse but I choose to try to rationalize and intellectualize the thought. After several hours I got tired of the whole thing and thanked my mind out loud. All but a few remnants of the thought disappeared. I wanted to stay home all day and be miserable about the worst case outcome but I stayed with my committed action plan for the day (well, I did take an extra long nap! but that counts too now that I've added a value of taking care of myself). I gave myself a B+ for living a valued life yesterday. If I was grading how I felt it would have not been a passing grade, but I don't grade how I feel. I accept whatever it is (kind of. :)I like you defusion method of imaging your thoughts on a piece of paper. That seems like it would make you look more objectively at them. Actually writing them down might work too. When I get enough nerve, I will vocalize my scary thoughts to my wife. They sound really silly when they come out of my mouth. My wife just smiles and chuckles.BillTo: ACT_for_the_Public From: adrianandboo@...Date: Tue, 29 Nov 2011 16:08:28 +0000Subject: Re: Re: Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions 'I wonder how many on this list have experienced the difference between knowing to defuse and actually using an exercise to defuse?' Bill - I think that is me down to a tee! And I think I have wasted a lot of time doing just that. I have had success when I make myself sit down and practice defusion - trouble is, finding that space is tricky. Also I have to find the knack of doing it on the hoof - Thanks Mind doesn't always work - but imagining the thoughts written on pieces of paper on my lap seems to do the trick. A work in progress.... simone To: ACT_for_the_Public <act_for_the_public > Sent: Tuesday, 29 November 2011, 15:47Subject: RE: Re: Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions Lou - I'm glad to help. The value of my question/statement will probably be short-lived. It merely pointed out what was going on. The long term benefit will come from you recognizing unhelpful thoughts yourself and defusing from them on the fly. There is no substitute for deliberately invoking a defusion technique each and every time one of those thoughts appears. It's one thing to know about defusion and even to know when to use the technique. It's an entirely different thing to actually say to yourself, out loud if appropriate, "THANK YOU MIND" or something else that works for you. It must be an honest statement. No fingers crossed behind your back. I continue to be surprised each time I actually say the words. Nothing short of saying them works for me. I wonder how many on this list have experienced the difference between knowing to defuse and actually using an exercise to defuse? Practice, practice, practice. Oh, and accept that this will take time. In the meantime, be kind to yourself. Bill To: ACT_for_the_Public From: experiential2010@...Date: Tue, 29 Nov 2011 07:45:21 +0000Subject: Re: Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions Bill,I was so keen to get back to you today. Mate your advice was golden. Specifically....."...Who said you were used and are without worth? A great place for defusion." I took that statement into my moments at work today. There's that programed mind playing with me again (and I let it, *sigh*, there is self compassion *sigh again*). It was so much easier today and I really feel like I'm levelling out. Thank you a million times over.Lou :-) >> > Hi Lou> Your first paragraph describes acceptance. Replicate this as often as necessary.> The first part of the second paragraph describes committed action "I work with lots of different people in the community". Keep doing the things you value.> The second part of the second paragraph is struggle - "I felt used, to be without worth." Who said you were used and are without worth? A great place for defusion.> Nice work. You lived a valued life. Take a bow.> Bill> > > To: ACT_for_the_Public > Date: Mon, 28 Nov 2011 07:35:40 +0000> Subject: Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm learning how emotions ebb and flow recently and have practiced for long enough to be able to catch it more often. After a grizzly night wanting sleep more than anything, I woke this morning to the familiar choked throat and crossed brow. I used my breath and feeling my feet on the floor to get moving...it worked.> > > > During the course of my day I experienced a variety of emotions at high intensity, they were all intense. I felt energized, positive and genuinely happy when I took someone with Parkinson's to the gym for a workout. (I work with lots of different people in the community). Within half an hour of finishing that I was cooking for a person who uses a wheelchair and I felt used, to be without worth and genuinely sad as this person can be impatient and rude. I went back to the noisy office and attempted to still myself and work on my ability to remain focused on my computer. > > > > Now my daughter is on the way over for dinner. Wow, those emotions just keep coming like the tide, at least I now have a floatation device.> > > > Affect oriented Lou :-?>