Re: Hiya

[Guest guest]

Sophia: I do not have any "real time " friend's either with out all of you I would be totally alone.. Please know if you ever need a friend you can talk to about ANY THING please contact me.. I would gladly chat with you any time.. hard to believe I am a very closed person huh.. but I am in person I am very very shy and stay to my self.. any ways email me or IM me any time ok.. love ya. Gentle Caring Hug's Marie Marie A. Roomsburg P.O. Box 346 Ava, IL. 62907 E-mail marieava@... or marieava62907@... Messanger. aol. marieava. yahoo. marieava62907

[Guest guest]

> Sophia:

>

>

You can ditto that about me. I keep to myself and have very few

friends because of it. If it wasn't for the church I wouldn't have

any friends. I do not function well in a group, even when there is

more than two people in chat I become quiet for some reason. Most of

my childhood I didn't have any friends, so didn't learn how to make

friends. I don't want to be around people now because of my weight.

You guys have made a big difference. I'm better than I was a few

years ago when I couldn't even look people in the face. I had my

head down when I was walking somewhere.

Loving hugs,

Norma

[Guest guest]

The heartbreak i think is that i try so hard to make friends. I am very outgoing and friendly and smile all the time... I don't understand why i don't have any. I guess that is what confuses me the most. Makes me feel like i am a very unlikable person, no matter how i try. Would love to have a friend that I can call up and say lets go to lunch, and get the fits of giggles, and such or go shopping with... but alas there is none. I have no clue why, and that bugs me more i guess is all i am saying.

Huggles you lots

Sophia

-------Original Message-------

From: Norma

Date: 12/30/04 23:26:47

[Guest guest]

I too have no friends, not sure why not. I wonder if there is any tie in with Fibromyalgia? Quite a few of us seem to be saying this... how about the rest of us here?

Penny UK

On 31/12/2004 12:39:32, fibromyalgia_support_group wrote:> [image]> > > The heartbreak i think is that i try so hard to make friends. I am very> outgoing and friendly and smile all the time... I> don't understand why i don't have any. I guess that is what confuses me> the most. Makes me feel like i am a very unlikable person, no matter how i> try. Would love to have a friend that I can call up and say lets go to> lunch, and get the fits of giggles, and such or go shopping with... but> alas there is none. I have no clue why, and that bugs me more i guess is> all i am saying.> > Huggles you lots > Sophia> -------Original Message-------> > From: Norma [link: mailto:clossons@...]> Date: 12/30/04 23:26:47> > > > > > > 1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on the> list as to what treatments do and> don't work for us, pls always check with your dr. Some treatments are dangerous when given along with other meds as well as to certain health conditions or just dangerous in general.> > 2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't> matter what it is) pls don't be afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to trying to make that situation better.> >

[Guest guest]

Because most of them don't understand when we have to cancel because we don't feel well, or because we're so exhausted that we can't get out of bed. After awhile many people give up, or they start to think you're a hypochondriac.

My one friend who truly understands happens to be a brain tumor cancer survivor.... o.k. see why she understands. She goes through the same thing.

I have other friends that "try", but you can't blame them when you almost never feel well.

Hugs,

Tigger

Re: Hiya

I too have no friends, not sure why not. I wonder if there is any tie in with Fibromyalgia? Quite a few of us seem to be saying this... how about the rest of us here?

Penny UK

On 31/12/2004 12:39:32, fibromyalgia_support_group wrote:> [image]> > > The heartbreak i think is that i try so hard to make friends. I am very> outgoing and friendly and smile all the time... I> don't understand why i don't have any. I guess that is what confuses me> the most. Makes me feel like i am a very unlikable person, no matter how i> try. Would love to have a friend that I can call up and say lets go to> lunch, and get the fits of giggles, and such or go shopping with... but> alas there is none. I have no clue why, and that bugs me more i guess is> all i am saying.> > Huggles you lots > Sophia> -------Original Message-------> > From: Norma [link: mailto:clossons@...]> Date: 12/30/04 23:26:47> > > > > > > 1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on the> list as to what treatments do and> don't work for us, pls always check with your dr. Some treatments are dangerous when given along with other meds as well as to certain health conditions or just dangerous in general.> > 2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't> matter what it is) pls don't be afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to trying to make that situation better.> > 1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on the list as to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls always check with your dr. Some treatments are dangerous when given along with other meds as well as to certain health conditions or just dangerous in general.2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it is) pls don't be afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to trying to make that situation better.Have a nice day everyone.

[Guest guest]

I have tons of friends but it seems as though, reading the posts here, I'm blessed in that my fibro doesn't stop me from being active. I'm pres of our quilters guild and I go to church so there are lots of opportunities there

Margaret,mom to the monsters

Re: Hiya

I too have no friends, not sure why not. I wonder if there is any tie in with Fibromyalgia? Quite a few of us seem to be saying this... how about the rest of us here?

Penny UK

On 31/12/2004 12:39:32, fibromyalgia_support_group wrote:> [image]> > > The heartbreak i think is that i try so hard to make friends. I am very> outgoing and friendly and smile all the time... I> don't understand why i don't have any. I guess that is what confuses me> the most. Makes me feel like i am a very unlikable person, no matter how i> try. Would love to have a friend that I can call up and say lets go to> lunch, and get the fits of giggles, and such or go shopping with... but> alas there is none. I have no clue why, and that bugs me more i guess is> all i am saying.> > Huggles you lots > Sophia> -------Original Message-------> > From: Norma [link: mailto:clossons@...]> Date: 12/30/04 23:26:47> > > > > > > 1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on the> list as to what treatments do and> don't work for us, pls always check with your dr. Some treatments are dangerous when given along with other meds as well as to certain health conditions or just dangerous in general.> > 2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't> matter what it is) pls don't be afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to trying to make that situation better.> > 1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on the list as to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls always check with your dr. Some treatments are dangerous when given along with other meds as well as to certain health conditions or just dangerous in general.2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it is) pls don't be afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to trying to make that situation better.Have a nice day everyone.

[Guest guest]

Other than web friends, I only have one real friend. She calls me very often, but has moved to Mississippi. I am in Louisiana. The problem is that every time she calls me she is sooo negative. She has problems in her life, but don't we all??? This sounds horrible, but I'm getting tired of the negativity and dread when she calls me. :-(.

I need some friends who are more upbeat.

huggles,

Sundra

Tutorial

Font: Emma

IM Letter By: AprilLynn

Tube by: ©Teddy Bear Lane

[Guest guest]

Sophia,

I have no friends either that I hang out with, I think it is because I don't work. When I worked I had a lot of friends. Now that I am engaged, I am sick, and I have 3 kids, 2 are special needs, I guess I just cannot go that extra mile to make friends somewhere. That is why I am so glad I found this group and now have many friends.

hugs,

Monika

Re: Hiya

The heartbreak i think is that i try so hard to make friends. I am very outgoing and friendly and smile all the time... I don't understand why i don't have any. I guess that is what confuses me the most. Makes me feel like i am a very unlikable person, no matter how i try. Would love to have a friend that I can call up and say lets go to lunch, and get the fits of giggles, and such or go shopping with... but alas there is none. I have no clue why, and that bugs me more i guess is all i am saying.

Huggles you lots

Sophia

-------Original Message-------

From: Norma

Date: 12/30/04 23:26:47

1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on the list as to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls always check with your dr. Some treatments are dangerous when given along with other meds as well as to certain health conditions or just dangerous in general.2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it is) pls don't be afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to trying to make that situation better.Have a nice day everyone.

[Guest guest]

Hi Penny and all,

Well count me in as someone who doesn't really have friends in

person. I think it is because #1 - I don't have their finances. I

can't go out and do lunch etc.. like they do, and #2 - don't have

the energy - I can't go running around like they do. Sure sometime's

for some things but.. #3 - I am afraid to make close friendships - I

can't take the pain of what I feel is rejection, when I know they

don't understand my illness...

Sheesh even my doctor, who if he sees me depressed for one visit,

wants to throw an anti-depressant at me. Sometimes it would just be

nice to not go through all this alone; to have some understanding;

to be believed and validated. That right there can bring a smile to

my face! Where do you find that?? Should be a support group I

guess... But whatcha wanna bet, the one's in support groups are

one's who are at a point in their lives where they hardly flare...

I can't STAND a butt-kicker - that is not the answer. Not when

you're down. Or if they are there just for info,. only... well -

that isn't friendship.

I am trying to just kind of " survive " here and being around people

who are not only surviving but also thriving, makes it kind of

difficult sometime's. kwim? If you hear them complain about

something you know is so so far out of your reach and you are trying

to achieve much less... well - you just don't fit in, with that.

I think most people are nice for the most part, and even

sympathetic, but still they *don't* understand, and all it would

take for me is the wrong words, and it might just send me into a

sadness for a few days. I can't afford that. Yes I guess since being

sick so long, it makes me sensitive. But who wouldn't be? If we

aren't used to having a support system, we have nothing to fall back

on, during those time's.

Another problem, and as trivial as this may sound but is sooo real -

a lot of people have their hearts in the right places, but they are

just *too busy*. Everything is " go go go " in our world, but I can't

DO go go go. And again I must bring up this " fend for yourself "

attitude...that's the attitude we and everyone is used to. They

think they can throw in a suggestion or two, without having a clue

really, and then walk away. If I have a friend, I want someone who

will BE there for me - really be there [i mean when they can]. How

can you have half a friendship? You can't, just like you can't have

half a marriage - a relationship needs work. So - I don't risk

anything and keep to myself, which reallly sucks.

I also think people don't *want* to see the reality of a sick

person. Because the reality of being sick, is also being poor. We

are taught in our society, to NOT part with our money. It is like a

God to us. Sorry - but it is the truth, in my eyes. I don't know

really, but I think people are afraid; afraid if they see you

hurting financially, they will *feel* they need to give some, and

they don't want to give. Ever realize / think about that?

I've been standing on the poor side of the fence a while now, and

can reallly see that. I wonder Sophia if people act that way toward

you for that reason. Meeting a sick and or fiancially-challenged?

person puts a big fear into their minds - they run. Because it means

they might feel like they have to DO something, to help. And really

we have not been taught, to want that. We have been taught " me, me

me " . They want to laugh [like we all do], but also hide in their own

little worlds, because ours is so stressful - they don't want to be

a part of it - it's too much work or trouble. It's scarey to them I

think.

But also I won't blame it all on me - what and how do we go " make "

these friends anyway? I don't think going to the local pub is the

answer. ;-) We don't have the normal energy etc.. to go out there in

the world to meet people. I have friends from church but see they

all work - busy busy busy. Everyone is full of their own problems.

And all the problems I mentioned earlier...

Another problem for ME is my illness makes it so I can't make a

commitment it seems like. It is too " iffy " - I may have a few decent

days and being able to give in a friendship, and then I might have

weeks or months of feeling like crud, and don't have the energy or

anything, to give much - just in survival mode. How do we do a

friendship like that?? It would take a very, very understanding

person, to be in a real friendship with someone like me I guess.

Well I won't sell myself short either - I have plenty to give, from

my heart, but it has to be on my terms usually... you know; can't go

running here and there. Kind of like a sick, little old lady whom

you know won't be running everywhere with you and is poor too.. I

don't know. lol!

I guess we could place ads in a paper: " wanted: sick person who

seeks friend, but must conform to their life style " . lol! But

seriously - that's what it is like. ;-)

That's my 2-cents this am. Hope it made sense.

xo li

> I too have no friends, not sure why not. I wonder if there is any

tie in with Fibromyalgia? Quite a few of us seem to be saying

this... how about the rest of us here?

>

[Guest guest]

Oh I also wanted to add [i don't know why] - that people see me, as

someone who is " wounded. " That's what my pastor used to tell me all

the time. I look like someone who is so " wounded " .... that's what he

saw. He didn't see all the reality of my life. I think my family

sees me that way too... Someone with " problems " ... It wouldn't take

much to strike up a friendship with me - all I need is a little

understanding, as I think most of us do.

We are indeed, misunderstood. We are hurting enough, who wants to

add to the pain by being continually misunderstood? We need

advocates... It's the same old story - you can't " see " my pain so...

it must not be that bad.

xo li

> I too have no friends, not sure why not.

[Guest guest]

It's funny how different people see us differently.. my friends see me as outgoing and fun... the guys I work with see me as a hard a$$... and for some very strange reason my older brother sees me as "flighty". Now, I've been called a lot of things (hard a$$ is probably the most appropriate), but flighty? I don't think so.

hugs,

Tigger

Re: Hiya

Oh I also wanted to add [i don't know why] - that people see me, as someone who is "wounded." That's what my pastor used to tell me all the time. I look like someone who is so "wounded".... that's what he saw. He didn't see all the reality of my life. I think my family sees me that way too... Someone with "problems"... It wouldn't take much to strike up a friendship with me - all I need is a little understanding, as I think most of us do. We are indeed, misunderstood. We are hurting enough, who wants to add to the pain by being continually misunderstood? We need advocates... It's the same old story - you can't "see" my pain so... it must not be that bad. xo li > I too have no friends, not sure why not. 1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on the list as to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls always check with your dr. Some treatments are dangerous when given along with other meds as well as to certain health conditions or just dangerous in general.2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it is) pls don't be afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to trying to make that situation better.Have a nice day everyone.

[Guest guest]

the only friends i have are online. i used to have friends, years ago.

lindy lou

I too have no friends, not sure why not. I wonder if there is any tie in with Fibromyalgia? Quite a few of us seem to be saying this... how about the rest of us here?

Penny

[Guest guest]

Sophia: I feel the same way you do would love to have a friend.. I could call up go to lunch with.. giggle with and so on.. I am a very friendly person.. but I am also very reserved.. I don't want to be hurt..have had enough hurt for 20 people.. Gentle Caring Hug's Marie Marie A. Roomsburg P.O. Box 346 Ava, IL. 62907 E-mail marieava@... or marieava62907@... Messanger. aol. marieava. yahoo. marieava62907

[Guest guest]

Thanks for all the encouraging words and yes i do think of you all as my friends, but have also been curious as to why i don't have any Real Life friends. I just wish i knew why. thanks for the letters, and the understanding, I know that there are many reasons why someone thinks there is a risk to friendship, but just wish this world would open their eyes and see the needs of its people. We just need to reach out more to those around us, i know i see the shock of my elderly neighbor when i make a dinner and take a plate to him ( he recently lost his wife, they were married for 65 years). I see the shock on peoples faces when I smile at them and say hello. And i think that it is too bad that it has to be that way. I do try to reach out as much as I can. Am trying to make a difference hugs you all and thanks again for all the kind words

Huggles you lots

Sophia

[Guest guest]

Sophia: that's all any of us can do is try.. I think what you do for your neighbor is just fantastic. you never hear of people doing that any more. well unless you live in my town.. of 800 people 90% of which is elderly 70 and older...I am all way's helping my neighbor's.. But that's just the way I am.. I don't have any friend's cause I don't get out any where to have friend's.. sure when I was seperated from Jake and lived on my own I had friend's. as long as I sat in the bar with them or gave them money and so on.. But the minute I got pregnant and my health went to hell all of my so called friend's took off.. So I am very happy to have all of my "FRIENDS" here.. (((Sophia))) Gentle Caring Hug's Marie Marie A. Roomsburg P.O. Box 346 Ava, IL. 62907 E-mail marieava@... or marieava62907@... Messanger. aol. marieava. yahoo. marieava62907

[Guest guest]

Sohia, you call me for lunch, I will fix lunch here, you fix it there, and we will giggle for the hour on the phone. Better yet, I'll call you. I think you are wonderful.

Margaret,mom to the monsters

Re: Hiya

The heartbreak i think is that i try so hard to make friends. I am very outgoing and friendly and smile all the time... I don't understand why i don't have any. I guess that is what confuses me the most. Makes me feel like i am a very unlikable person, no matter how i try. Would love to have a friend that I can call up and say lets go to lunch, and get the fits of giggles, and such or go shopping with... but alas there is none. I have no clue why, and that bugs me more i guess is all i am saying.

Huggles you lots

Sophia

-------Original Message-------

From: Norma

Date: 12/30/04 23:26:47

1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on the list as to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls always check with your dr. Some treatments are dangerous when given along with other meds as well as to certain health conditions or just dangerous in general.2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it is) pls don't be afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to trying to make that situation better.Have a nice day everyone.

[Guest guest]

Margaret: that is the neatest Idea I have heard in a long time (((Margaret))) you are a sweetie.. Gentle Caring Hug's Marie Marie A. Roomsburg P.O. Box 346 Ava, IL. 62907 E-mail marieava@... or marieava62907@... Messanger. aol. marieava. yahoo. marieava62907