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In a message dated 2/9/2002 11:35:52 PM Eastern Standard Time,

vhunnius@... writes:

> Sometimes, even knowing what her life has been like and that she's had her

> share of really bad things happen to her, it is really hard to be her

> friend.

You are very lucky to have a friend.

When you're sad can you call her?

When you have a cool tv show on can you gossip?

When you're sad can you call her and invite her over for tea and cookies?

G

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Jacquie -

I understand you 100%.

I have felt that way, and I will continue to feel that way towards certain

people or certain situations, etc.

I don't think it reflects on the love you have for your best friend. But

you're human... and while she may have gone through her own hardships, you

are going through them NOW, and well - - that just ain't so fair.

I believe that in the end, life IS fair. I don't know how life will make

this up to all of us LOL, but I do believe things happen for a reason. All

your points are valid, absolutely valid. But this is not the end of the

road.

And she can't POSSIBLY be as intelligent as you!

<or can she?... in which case, please subscribe to

ihatemybestfriend >

Grace

>

> You all know my best friend is pregnant and already has one NT

three-year-old, right? Well, she and her dh just booked a holiday for the

three of them, leaving Tuesday -- for CANCUN. Last year they took the kid,

on a whim, to Cuba. They can DO that. They have the money for it and the

KID for it.

>

> If we didn't have a shared history, if I didn't know all she's been

through in her life and that this was not all just handed to her, if I

didn't know that she doesn't ALWAYS take her life for granted...I'd totally

hate her.

>

> She has an NT kid. I don't.

> She's going to have another. I'm not.

> Her husband makes 6 figures. Mine doesn't.

> They have a huge house. I don't.

> They have a new Explorer. ha!

> They both have family in town. We don't.

> The have family to babysit; she takes night classes all the time. We

don't.

> They can take their kid on vacation. We can't take ours to a stupid

restaurant.

>

> Sometimes, even knowing what her life has been like and that she's had her

share of really bad things happen to her, it is really hard to be her

friend.

>

> <sigh>

>

> Jacquie

>

>

>

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> You are very lucky to have a friend.

> When you're sad can you call her?

> When you have a cool tv show on can you gossip?

> When you're sad can you call her and invite her over for tea and cookies?

From my own perspective, that is the problem.

If I feel this way about my best friend, then I CANNOT call her when I'm sad

because so much of my sadness comes from my comparing my life to hers, and I

cannot gossip with her if I feel this way because it's so difficult to look

at her straight, and I don't WANT her over for tea and cookies <?> when I'm

this angry because although she doesn't deserve it, it's HER I'm angry at!

Somedays, friends are just overrated.

Like... I have a friend of mine in TX. Twin girls, 2 months older than

mine. Absolutely charming, funny girls - the size of 9 year old children.

Anyhow - - long story short, she sent their pictures into an agency and they

just got hired to do a commercial. I am so happy for the twins <and my

friend> because this is something good, but at the same time - - if I get

one more e-mail about it, one more shot of their portfolio pictures - I

think I might just scream loud enough to shatter my monitor. And it's the

opposite problem. Her house is not nicer, her dh doesn't make more money,

and etc etc - - but she has four TERRIFIC NT children. She smokes in front

of her children, she yells like you would not believe, she goes off on the

neighbors..... but she does have a heart of gold. Anyhow - - - what it

comes down to is: she has four NT children, I have none. :o/ And I don't

have anything to share in this friendship with her because I don't have

anything comparable to " my kids are now models! " aside from maybe, " My kids

can do 10 pc puzzles now!? "

Grace

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I hear ya, Jacquie! But.....she doesn't get to go to

PA to meet us! That is waaaayyyy better than Cancun!

Tamara

--- The Hunny Family wrote:

>

> You all know my best friend is pregnant and already

> has one NT three-year-old, right? Well, she and her

> dh just booked a holiday for the three of them,

> leaving Tuesday -- for CANCUN. Last year they took

> the kid, on a whim, to Cuba. They can DO that.

> They have the money for it and the KID for it.

>

> If we didn't have a shared history, if I didn't know

> all she's been through in her life and that this was

> not all just handed to her, if I didn't know that

> she doesn't ALWAYS take her life for granted...I'd

> totally hate her.

>

> She has an NT kid. I don't.

> She's going to have another. I'm not.

> Her husband makes 6 figures. Mine doesn't.

> They have a huge house. I don't.

> They have a new Explorer. ha!

> They both have family in town. We don't.

> The have family to babysit; she takes night classes

> all the time. We don't.

> They can take their kid on vacation. We can't take

> ours to a stupid restaurant.

>

> Sometimes, even knowing what her life has been like

> and that she's had her share of really bad things

> happen to her, it is really hard to be her friend.

>

> <sigh>

>

> Jacquie

>

>

__________________________________________________

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> When you're sad can you call her?

Yes, but often she's out DOING things!

> When you have a cool tv show on can you gossip?

Nope. She doesn't like to be called at night. But we CAN talk books during the

day for hours.

> When you're sad can you call her and invite her over for tea and cookies?

Nope. She lives 4 hours away in the city I used to live in. :-(

My other best friend, also with an NT kid and pregnant, is equally busy and

lives 2 hours away. :-(

I don't have any friends here.

Jacquie

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Absolutely!!!!!

Tamara

--- Penny wrote:

> Well Jacquie, if this comes out sounding REALLY

> crappy, it's not meant to,

> LOL ---

>

> You must be an extraordinarilly wonderful friend and

> person for someone who

> has such a lovely life to continue to remain friends

> with you. (see, sounds

> insulting, is NOT meant to be...I think you know

> what I mean....)

>

> Yes, everything she has is enviable, but guess

> what...it could all be gone

> in a second. Would you still be there for her then?

> Yep...you would.

> You'd probably be the first to offer consoling and

> friendship....

>

> Envy will destroy your soul, Jacquie....(and before

> you tell me to get off

> my high-horse, remember, I've BTDT.....)

>

> Oh, and BTW -YOU are LOVED AND ADMIRED by 202

> STRANGERS!!!! Is she?

>

> Penny :-)

>

>

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Oh, Jacquie..I know how you feel. has many

classmates all with siblings the same age as ..2

years younger..every one of those kids are NT, every

one of those kids are in the school district

kindergarten..except ..it's not that I wish their

kids were PDD/autistic or anything like that..but it's

hard to take..I couldn't say this anyplace but here!

Hugs,

Mimi

--- The Hunny Family wrote:

>

> You all know my best friend is pregnant and already

> has one NT three-year-old, right? Well, she and her

> dh just booked a holiday for the three of them,

> leaving Tuesday -- for CANCUN. Last year they took

> the kid, on a whim, to Cuba. They can DO that.

> They have the money for it and the KID for it.

>

> If we didn't have a shared history, if I didn't know

> all she's been through in her life and that this was

> not all just handed to her, if I didn't know that

> she doesn't ALWAYS take her life for granted...I'd

> totally hate her.

>

> She has an NT kid. I don't.

> She's going to have another. I'm not.

> Her husband makes 6 figures. Mine doesn't.

> They have a huge house. I don't.

> They have a new Explorer. ha!

> They both have family in town. We don't.

> The have family to babysit; she takes night classes

> all the time. We don't.

> They can take their kid on vacation. We can't take

> ours to a stupid restaurant.

>

> Sometimes, even knowing what her life has been like

> and that she's had her share of really bad things

> happen to her, it is really hard to be her friend.

>

> <sigh>

>

> Jacquie

>

>

__________________________________________________

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In a message dated 2/10/2002 11:20:18 AM Eastern Standard Time,

vhunnius@... writes:

> I don't have any friends here.

>

> Jacquie

I don't have any friends here either. My husband use to be my best friend -

I never would have guessed that things could change so rapidly. It's a good

thing we have friends here :)

G

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