RE: My Intro...

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Just a note to let you know that you are not alone! My 19 year old son went to Iraq when he was 18, in January of 2005. He is back home with us as of December, but last year was a very, very tough year for us. My son drove convoys, too. He actually loved it. I do understand about it taking years off of your life, and it is no surprise your lung problems were worse. I have been told that grief is correlated to lung function. Don't understand this, but a wellness exam by an accupuncturist revealed lung issues, which she told me could be grief related. What is your son's name? When is he expected back? If you don't mind, I will put him on my prayer list. Prayer got me through it last year. I never allowed myself to be lifted up and carried by the love of others like I did last year, and it was a tremendous blessing. I don't know if I would have made it otherwise. I'm still recovering from my son's deployment.

Because of these drugs, my cognitive function is impaired, so I put my prayer list on Microsoft Outlook so it will pop up with an alarm, reminding me to actively meditate on the soldiers who are Iraq. I have a growing list.

I am trying to not live in terror of my son going again. He is a Nat'l Guardsman, and can be redeployed next year.

Welcome.

Pat Morton

-----Original Message-----From: Withdrawal_and_Recovery [mailto:Withdrawal_and_Recovery ]On Behalf Of Sent: Wednesday, March 08, 2006 11:44 PMTo: Withdrawal_and_Recovery Subject: My Intro...

Hi everybody, and thanks for letting me be a part of your group. My name is , and I am 45 years old. I am married to Garry, and we have been married for 5 years. We have a blended family of 7 grown kids (6 boys and 1 daughter). My youngest who is 19 still lives in the home with us, but other than that, the other 6 kids are spread out all over the U.S and 1 in Iraq who is my middle son.

Anyway, to make a long story short. I started having problems with anxieties years and years ago, and on and off throughout the years I have taken xanax's (but just as needed). Then a few years ago I seeked help and started seeing a psycologist. I was diagnoised as depressed and that is what was supposedly triggered my anxieties. It wasn't long after that I was sent to a psychiatrist, and he had me on all kinds of meds. I felt like a walking/talking zombie, and I hated it! I don't know exactly how long I was on all the meds he had me on, but I did wean myself off of everything slowly and sucessfully. I was doing ok without being on any of them for the most part until...

My middle son joined the Marines (shortly after high school) and a year ago this past January he was sent to Iraq for his first deployment. I didn't handle it very well. He is with the Motor T, so he gets to drive in the convoys! Needless to say I think that took 10 years off my life (not joking either). Anyway, it was through my lung doctor and a visit there that she put me on Zoloft because I fell apart in her office during one of my visits. Now why do I see a lung doctor? I had my right lung collaspe on me years ago (just one of those fluke things that happen) and I've had breathing problems since, so I have to go twice a year just to be checked out to make sure I am doing ok, etc. So anyway, I have been on the Zoloft a year as of this past Jan when my son went to Iraq the first time. I can't really say if it has helped me or not to be honest.

But, I was hanging in there doing all right when my son got back to the states this past August it felt like a load was lifted off of me. Until...he was sent back again last month (Feb) I found out in Jan he was going back, and again I fell apart. Instead of the drs office increasing my dosage of Zoloft (I only take 50 mg) they put me on Wellbutrin (150 mg), so now I am taking them both. I take the Zoloft in the morning, and the Wellbutrin before I go to bed at night. So bottom line is I've been on the Zoloft for a little over a year, and the Wellbutrin a couple months.

I have realized here recently that I really do feel like crap! I don't have the energy to do a whole lot of anything. I have to push and force myself to get things done around the house before my husband gets home (and that includes just getting dressed sometimes). My sex drive has hit rock bottom! and I could go on and on but I think you get the point.

I know I am also dealing with peri-menopause to top things off, so my hormones are all wacked out, and I was just put on some medicine for that to try to get my female stuff straighten out. Ugggh!

So, here I am 45 years old, and I am on 6 different kinds of medication (Zoloft, Wellbutrin, Lipitor, Prometrium, Combivent, and QVar) I feel like a walking pharmacy, and I don't like it.

So, I have made up my mind today that I would like to wean myself off the Zoloft and the Wellbutrin. I don't think there is a medicine out there that is powerful enough to take away the heart ache and the fear that I have with my son being over in Iraq, and somehow I need to learn to deal with it without the help of meds.

I did make a appt with a new counselor this past week. I've only seen her once so far, but I have another appt the 22nd of this month. I am hoping that I will really like her and she will be able to help me deal with my stress, fears, and anxieties.

Regardless, I want to wean myself off the Zoloft and the Wellbutrin, and this is what I had in mind...

The Zoloft is in the morning (one tablet) I thought maybe starting at the very beginning of next week (Monday) I would cut the tablets in 1/2...start taking a 1/2 tablet everyday for a whole week for the first week. The 2nd week, I would start taking a 1/2 tablet every other day for a whole week. Then the 3rd week I would take a 1/2 tablet every 3rd day for that week, so on and so forth...and the same with the Wellbutrin. Do you think this is weaning myself off too fast? or is it just about right?

Well, I guess I should bring this post to a close for now. It's turned out to be a lengthy one. Thanks for listening to me.

Take care,