Re: Always checking for deeper meaning to her words

December 30, 2007

Kelley,

Is this your nada's typical way of communication? If so, then yes,

she is probably saying it to send you a message of what she wants

you to do. (How does she know what the daughter did - and why?)

I can also see how this could be hypervigilent - very understandable

because we had to be hypervigilent as children in order to protect

ourselves and try to avoid nada's wrath.

The fact that you are still thinking about a comment she made a week

ago indicate that you are still working through issues. Nothing

wrong with that, by the way! It will be a great day for you when

your nada can make any statement, and you just take it for a

statement, and don't try to figure out if she has a hidden meaning.

After all, does it matter if she has a hidden meaning? Not if you

are okay with yourself, and feel confident in yourself regardless of

what nada has to say about anyone.

BTW - my nada is also great at painting other people white. Both my

sister and I have commented on how nice it would have been if she

had ever said nice things about us they way she did about other

people.

Take care,

Sylvia

>

> Hi! I just remembered a comment my Nada made last week when we

were

> together. She was talking on and on about a friend of hers whose

> father had just died (one I didn't even know or care to hear

about)

> and she said, " His daughter came to the hospital and rushed to his

> side to whisper in his ear how wonderful of a father he was. " My

mom

> said she did this because he had always thought he did a horrible

job

> with his kids and she wanted to tell him one last time that he was

> wonderful. Am I reading into this too much by believing this was

> another stab from her in her passive aggressive way to tell me how

I

> better see the wonderful things she did before she dies or she

won't

> be able to go out in peace (like this man was able to do after he

> heard her words). Any thoughts on this or am I just being

> hypervigilant?

>

> Kelley

>

December 30, 2007

I have experienced this same thing---every Sunday at church my Nada

would do the same thing, reassuring parents that they are doing a

good job and praising their children. She would actually joke

sometimes to some parents that her kids were " slow " or not

attentive...we all 4 were definately anything but!

I think this is all about making their image look good...

>