Forced displays of affection

[Guest guest]

" I wrestle with the same fake " I love you " with my mother. I used to

stand in front of the greeting card section and gag at some of the

sentiments expressed to mothers, because I felt none of that for

mine. "

" I'm a bit worried because my friend said to simply write " I love you

too " and leave it at that. Problem is that I don't feel I love her

anymore. I feel nothing. Numb. "

These sentiments really struck a chord with me so I thought I'd start

a new thread. One of my nada's guaranteed rages was when we kids

didn't return her feelings of affection. If she wanted a hug, by

golly, you better give her a hug. She is a very " touchy feely " kind

of person and so was always trying to hug and kiss us kids. Which

sounds okay, in theory, except for the fact that if you didn't

particularly feel like hugging or kissing, and then she'd explode. I

remember distinctly once when I was a child that I naively tried to

tell her that I didn't like her always trying to touch/grab/hug me.

She had a complete meltdown. As you might imagine, I had huge

boundary issues when it came time for me to start dating.

I, too, want to vomit at the sappy greeting card section, especially

on Mother's Day. I don't think I've ever gotten her a sincere

Mother's Day card, it's always been one of those goofy, semi-

sarcastic ones. I'd say " I love you too " , knowing it was the only

acceptable response to her " I love you " , but I've never initiated

an " I love you " . Because frankly, I don't feel that emotion towards

her. Maybe, occasionally, an affectionate bemusement, a knowing

chuckle about some of her more benign antics, but not love. Yet

another thing I can't tell her.

Anyway, anyone else out there with similar experiences?