insecurities and fear- raising you to be independent

[Guest guest]

Last night my 3 year old got up scared because he heard the

fireworks all around our house. My husband and I put him back in bed

and my husband looked right into my 3 year old's eyes and said, " No

matter what I will never let anything happen to you. I will protect

you! " He said it in a way that was extremely moving. My 3 year old

nodded his head and said okay. When I thought of this experience

this morning I couldn't recall my father ever saying anything I like

this to me. He was gone a lot. In fact I can't remember my father

ever tucking me into bed. I remember once when I was scared to go to

sleep because I didn't tell my mother I got in trouble at school

(first grade). My conscience was so thick I had to get up, walk down

the hall into the living room where she was laying on the couch. I

was crying and she asked me what was wrong. I told her I got in

trouble at school for talking and I couldn't go to sleep because I

didn't tell her earlier that day. My mother laughed at me. I

remember being very confused about her response. Here I was a scared

little 6 year old girl fretting over not being able to go to sleep

because I didn't fully confess everything to her about my day at

school and when I finally had the courage to do it she laughed at me

and basically told me how I was a little too sensitive. I cannot

remember her hugging me, telling me it was alright (at least in a

way I believed). I do remember walking down the long hall crying by

myself and putting myself back into bed. She braggs about how she

raised her daughters to be independent. I guess when a 6 year old

cries herself back to sleep because her mother failed to help her in

her distress this creates independence in her eyes. Has anyone had a

similar experience or memory?

Kelley