Guest guest Posted May 22, 2008 Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 I second this. Re: Guilt > > > > But how do you deal with the guilt? > > I think about my mom, all alone in her house, with no family to lean > on... > My thoughts are, what makes this woman so pitiful? Why is she not capable of going out into the world and finding support for herself? Why is it your job to be her support? Why don't you get to live your life, w/o her sabotaging your relationships? Sounds to me like she needs to learn how to treat people (incl. you), if she wants them in her life. Recently my therapist told me, when I was telling her about my " pitiful " 70 y/o mother, and how I felt guilty about not being more supportive, as I would to any other elderly person: Your mother is like a wild animal, a wolf or something, with its leg caught in a fence. You see it, and you feel sorry for it, but you know, if you try to help it get its leg freed, you will end up with a nasty bite. I thought that was the perfect analogy. I understand what you're saying about guilt, believe me. But I doubt she's as pitiful as she wants you to think she is. You're changing the rules, and she doesn't like it. Please try to live your life, with your goals in mind. Joanna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 22, 2008 Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 Why are the children of the BP's the only party that feels guilt in this crazy relationship? Why doesn't nada or fada feel guilt or remorse for what they did?? Or the enabling spouse of the BP who allowed the abuse to continue? We were innocent children...who was there for us? We are always the guilty party......haven't we endured enough?? Malinda To: WTOAdultChildren1@...: abby_doo@...: Thu, 22 May 2008 23:55:36 +0000Subject: Re: Guilt Nicely said. I don't think my nada or many women like her are as weak or pitiful as they want us to believe. Many of them are a lot stronger than they pretend to be otherwise they wouldn't be so lethal.> >> > > > > > But how do you deal with the guilt? > > > > I think about my mom, all alone in her house, with no family to lean > > on... > >> > My thoughts are, what makes this woman so pitiful? Why is she not > capable of going out into the world and finding support for herself? > Why is it your job to be her support? Why don't you get to live your > life, w/o her sabotaging your relationships? Sounds to me like she > needs to learn how to treat people (incl. you), if she wants them in > her life. > > Recently my therapist told me, when I was telling her about > my " pitiful " 70 y/o mother, and how I felt guilty about not being more > supportive, as I would to any other elderly person: Your mother is > like a wild animal, a wolf or something, with its leg caught in a > fence. You see it, and you feel sorry for it, but you know, if you > try to help it get its leg freed, you will end up with a nasty bite. > I thought that was the perfect analogy.> > I understand what you're saying about guilt, believe me. But I doubt > she's as pitiful as she wants you to think she is. You're changing > the rules, and she doesn't like it. Please try to live your life, > with your goals in mind. > > Joanna> _________________________________________________________________ Make every e-mail and IM count. Join the i’m Initiative from Microsoft. http://im.live.com/Messenger/IM/Join/Default.aspx?source=EML_WL_ MakeCount Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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