Am I off base here?

[Guest guest]

Sometimes it just ain't worth chewing through the restraints. I need

an objective perspective because what happened today is driving me

nuts!

My nada has been very sick this past week. I mean so sick she turned

grey. Last weekend she spent the entire weekend in bed and lived off

of broth. She made an appointment with her doctor and was diagnosed

with a sinus infection and has spent the WEEK recovering. She was

really sick. Since I do care about her health I had called my brother

and gave him a heads up over what was going on, just in case there

was an emergency and she called on him for help. My nada has heart

problems and I can tell she is getting worse. Nothing to get bent out

of shape over, but there is a possibility that something could go

wrong. He acted over the phone as if I was bothering him so I told

him I was letting him know just in case she got any sicker. My

brother lives two minutes from her and I live an hour out. If

something went wrong, he could help her faster than I could.

On top of this my niece's birthday party is this weekend. I have

received no instructions from anyone as to what was going on and by

today needed information in order to plan the weekend. Usually we

stay with nada because of the distance involved and I did not want to

aggrivate an already dicey situation.

I called nada and got her answering machine. Figuring that she was

out I called her cell phone, and was told the number was no longer

functioning. Fine. I wait a couple of hours, call again. Answering

machine and again the cell phone tells me that the number is no

longer functioning.

I call my SIL and my brother is at home. I ask him if he has seen the

nada and he tells me that she is at the house because her paper is

gone. Now I get worried. He tells me that if I cannot contact her he

will go over and check on her. I am actually surprised that he offers

this and thank him.

Call nada. Nothing.

Now I am worried. Brother tells me she is at home and she is not

picking up. What do you assume might have happened?

Call bro back and ask him if he could check on her and TELL him that

if she is not at home to call me and I will be fine with that.

Get a call from nada who turns the whole thing on me by telling me

that I am acting frantic and that I SHOULD have known better since

she had been cooped up in the house for a week recovering and that

today would be the day she goes out for groceries.

My freaking jaw hits the ground. Suddenly I am the one out of

control. Never mind that Thursday is the day she usually goes to the

grocery store.

She tells me that just as she was driving up my brother drives up and

proceeds to tell her that I have been calling FRANTICALLY trying to

get a hold of her. I called him exactly two times. Once to tell him

what was going on and the second time to take him up on his offer.

I told her that I was not frantic, just concerned and then I told her

the chain of events INCLUDING what dipshit brother told me.

I worry too much she tells me, but next time she will call me to let

me know everything she is doing so I won't get bent out of shape.

Instead of getting bent, I tell her that I am glad there is nothing

wrong and that I will let her go back to what she is doing and start

to hang up.

Suddenly she wants to keep me on the phone and tell me all about her

day and what is going on in the family???????

I disregard what she is telling me and ask if she wants us out this

weekend or if she is not up to it. We decide that the boy and I will

come out on Sat and then we can all go over to the party on Sun. This

shouldn't wear her out too much. NO problem.

She does this to me every time she suddenly drops out of pocket. And

every time I express concern about her health and whereabouts she

ends up patronizing me. I so wanted to bite her head off, but

remained calm and collected and hung up the phone. I did not take the

bait. But I am still irritated hours after the event. I am at the

point where I want to call the entire weekend off and tell them all

to go screw themselves and their inability to see anyones point of

view other than their own.

Does this happen to anyone else? I am very confused and feel a little

gas lighted because my concerns about her health are once again being

invalidated and I am being painted as out of control. I was groomed

to be the caretaker of the family and keep getting my teeth kicked in

when I fall into that role. All this shows me is that I have

something else to work on. I am fresh out of giving a damn.

Thanks