Guest guest Posted December 30, 2007 Report Share Posted December 30, 2007 Does anyone struggling with being really insecure? My husband says (and I agree) that I am one of the most insecure people he's ever met. I grew up looking to nada for every opinion, thought, feeling, and emotion. I felt like if I didn't agree with her, I was so deeply flawed and wrong. Now it seems like I can't trust my own opinions or have the confidence in myself to just assert myself. My other stumbling block is that I associate self confidence with a proud, arrogant attitude, which is how nada is. I sometimes wonder if I stop feeling so insecure, will people think I'm stuck up and proud, and therefore dislike me in the same way I dislike nada's attitude? I struggle to separate them. I want to have a healthy confidence. I'm not sure what that looks like. Thoughts? Advice? Grace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2007 Report Share Posted December 30, 2007 Hi Grace, Yes, I've always suffered with low self-esteem. Part of it is the desire to please and be liked/loved by others, which makes me feel 'less than' others (since I 'need' their approval). Part of it is not wanting to think so highly of myself that I'm inconsiderate of others - i.e. I want to stay sensitive to the feelings of others, since my feelings were never considered. I'm working on developing the balance in all this -- where I'm not dependent on the approval of others and caring about other's feelings without feeling the need to take care of them. I find it to be a delicate balance, at best. Insecurity Does anyone struggling with being really insecure? My husband says (and I agree) that I am one of the most insecure people he's ever met. I grew up looking to nada for every opinion, thought, feeling, and emotion. I felt like if I didn't agree with her, I was so deeply flawed and wrong. Now it seems like I can't trust my own opinions or have the confidence in myself to just assert myself. My other stumbling block is that I associate self confidence with a proud, arrogant attitude, which is how nada is. I sometimes wonder if I stop feeling so insecure, will people think I'm stuck up and proud, and therefore dislike me in the same way I dislike nada's attitude? I struggle to separate them. I want to have a healthy confidence. I'm not sure what that looks like. Thoughts? Advice? Grace ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2007 Report Share Posted December 30, 2007 I totally understand what you are talking about. Insecurity is huge for me. I think my nada started installing this feeling in me from day one. While in college, I worked on bio-feedback. It was something just for myself. I did not have to share any problems, I was just taught how to breathe, raise my body temp., and calm myself. It took me a long time to really try to use it in my day to day life but, as I grow older I do rely on this. If I am in a situation where I become insecure I take these intense deep breathes and tell myself positive things. For example, if I am in a room of people I will say to myself hey these people have more important things to do than judge me, maybe nada would have but not all people are like her. In college I was able to get free bio-feedback through a research center so, sometimes you can tap into these resources. Also, I am sure there are a lot of books about bio-feedback. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2007 Report Share Posted December 30, 2007 No advice, but a huge " me, too! " Completely insecure, especially right when I left home. It's a little better now, but not gone by any stretch of the imagination. > > Does anyone struggling with being really insecure? > > My husband says (and I agree) that I am one of the most insecure > people he's ever met. > > I grew up looking to nada for every opinion, thought, feeling, and > emotion. I felt like if I didn't agree with her, I was so deeply > flawed and wrong. Now it seems like I can't trust my own opinions or > have the confidence in myself to just assert myself. > > My other stumbling block is that I associate self confidence with a > proud, arrogant attitude, which is how nada is. I sometimes wonder if > I stop feeling so insecure, will people think I'm stuck up and proud, > and therefore dislike me in the same way I dislike nada's attitude? I > struggle to separate them. > > I want to have a healthy confidence. I'm not sure what that looks like. > > Thoughts? Advice? > > Grace > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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