Re: Re: LC/NC: where to draw the line

[Guest guest]

Hi Qwerty and All,

Like Sylvia, wrote, “I finally decided that it

was just too exhausting, and there was absolutely

no benefit to spending any time with my nada.”

Ditto for the rest of my FOO. I’ve realized in

recent years, especially from the great sharing

and feedback some of you here have posted in

reply to my posts over time that my FOO is so

toxically, horribly, nastily and negatively

predisposed and brainwashed against me that I

never had a chance with them, starting from my

birth. Like some of you have said, life is too

short for me to waste my time trying to have a

relationship with any of them while they choose

not to be a healthy part of my life. My door was

and will be open to their healthy participation,

but I expect that none of them will ever wake up

from their deep and sick denial. There’s still

some deep pain in me about it and probably always

will be, and I accept that. I’ve got enough to

deal with, with all the acting-out borderlines,

narcissists, histrionics, bi-polars, antisocials

and others bulldozing their way through the lives

of you, me and other good people, trying to

undermine, flatten and slaughter our identities,

souls and existence. I don’t hold their sickness

against them. I hold them accountable for their

inappropriate behaviors, as I hold myself

accountable for my own.

Despite the black hole and mess my FOO and others

like them made of my childhood, my job as an

adult is to thrive. Communicating with and

having good people like you in my life, in

whatever way and however we’ve met or

communicate, helps me do my job. Thanks for

being there and for helping me to do my job. You

did it just by being you.

One Non-BP Recovering Man

--- qz wrote:

> Thanks for that, Sylvia. That's very validating

> to hear and certainly

> helps me to make a decision. I'm glad you found

> a method that works

> for you.

>

> qwerty

>

>

> >

> > Qwerty,

> >

> > This is pretty much the reason I went NC. I

> would still get upset

> > when I was around her; I didn't like anything

> she said; and I

> > couldn't be myself around her without also

> upsetting other people

> > too. I finally decided that it was just too

> exhausting, and there

> > was absolutely no benefit to spending any

> time with my nada.

> >

> > sylvia

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