Guest guest Posted December 11, 2007 Report Share Posted December 11, 2007 Hey everyone. Sorry I haven't been around very much lately. It's taken all I have to keep my head above water lately. Something that I noticed yesterday that seems particularly frustrating to me is the tendency of my FOO to unburden all of their issues with Nada upon me. Usually I just sit silently and nod my head along with the things they are quipping about but I've come to the end of my rope. I sick to death of hearing from my family about all the burdens placed upon them by nada. Primarily because these are the same individuals who criticized me when I went LC and are still critical today about MY choices that I have made. Usually I just calmly and firmly make a point to tell them to not worry about MY choices...they are mine and mine alone and if they are right and it is wrong or cruel or callous then I will pay the price for it on judgment day...not them. (I have a t-shirt that says " let me just drop everything and work on YOUR problem " ...maybe I should dig it out of the closet) Yes...I know she is sick..yes I know she is a master manipulator..yes i know she is deceitful and lies. (Along with a host of other adjectives you are all familiar with) It has taken me 4 years, 10's of thousands of dollars in therapy and a river full of tears but I somehow manage to just barely keep my head above water after going NC. Why the heck would the people who criticize me want to board my ship when it is barely afloat? My husband coldly analyzes it as a fight or flight thing...I'm just not buying that it is that simplistic. Can anyone here relate to what I am trying to explain here? I'm at my wits end. I've locked myself in the house for the past 3 days trying to avoid everyone...my family, the neighbors...the holidays make me feel so heartless. I'm not so sure that is a bad thing. We even went tree shopping this past weekend. It has gotten so bad that today I removed our Christmas tree from the house and put it outside. I just can bare to look at it anymore. It may come back in the house later in the week...I just so far out of the " zone " right now...I feel like I'm drowning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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