Guest guest Posted January 1, 2007 Report Share Posted January 1, 2007 Hi Tina, I can really relate. I don't post very often as I am very depressed and feel I have nothing to offer anyone in the way of support but I thought I would reply to you. My husband left me too. About five years ago, a year after we got married, I herniated two lumbar discs big time and had to have spine surgery as I couldn't even walk. Right after the surgery, my husband became colder and more distant by the day while I struggled to recover on my own. We broke up a year later. I am still devastated that he did not understand the meaning of " for better or worse " . He claims to still love me but says our health problems got in the way for him. I was left with chronic back pain from that surgery. Three years later I was diagnosed with advanced cancer and went through another huge operation on my neck, which has left me with severe neck pain. I now live alone, all my friends and family have deserted me, I have no hope of ever finding another relationship in this condition as I am basically housebound with pain. I have had every kind of therapy but nothing works. I have tried every painkiller, including Morphine and Fentanyl patch but nothing stops this pain. Now I just take Percocet every couple of hours to dull it down a little. Tina, one day I was working, going out dancing, happily married, had friends who cared, beautiful new home, great husband. I blinked my eyes and everything was gone. I wish you all the best. You are lucky you found a doctor who is willing to try to help you. I live in an area where there is a critical shortage of doctors so I have lost hope of getting any help, although I have tried very hard to find someone. I wish you all the best and hope your new doctor can help you. Francine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 1, 2007 Report Share Posted January 1, 2007 Tina, I am so sorry to hear that in addition to your physical pain, you now have considerable (and warranted) emotional agony to contend with. But you sound like a very strong person who will get through your husband's abandonment and become even stronger in the end. I, for one, am delighted that you've decided to " come out of the closet " and have your physical pain addressed by a professional. While I hope that your upcoming testing doesn't reveal anything serious, I do hope that it leads your doctor to an understanding of your pain and the opportunity to find the proper meds to alleviate it. Also, I want to echo the other group member who suggested that you see a psychiatrist or therapist. Depression seems to go hand-in-hand with chronic pain, and I can't imagine that you aren't being dragged down by your husband's inconsiderate and unexpected exit. There's no shame in having our emotional issues treated along with our physical ones. In fact, depression is a very real change in brain chemistry, and adding an antidepressant to your meds will likely not only help you deal with the separation but also prevent your pain from worsening and getting caught in the vicious cycle of more depression, more pain, more depression, more pain, and on and on. I've gone through a divorce, and even though it was my idea to end the marriage, it was a tough time for me. I'll be more than happy to chat with you off-list about anything: your marriage, your separation, your emotional state, your physical ailments, or anything else. Feel free to write to me at paula_aka_mom@.... Hugs, a Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.