Re: Any thoughts on dealing with BPD Mother for a week during the holidays?

[Guest guest]

What you said sounds similar to what I've heard my sister say about our Nada.

SHe can handle 2-3 days max. with her and then they need to separate. Is there

anyway you could arrange for this? If not could you arrange for her to be busy

doing other things, keeping herself focused on herself or something else in

order to take the focus off of you? Also could you try what someone suggested

last week to keep conversation subtle and vague? That might keep her out of your

boundaries when she starts to get desperate. I know this is easier said than

done. I am a detailed person and have always thought giving her specific details

was just good communication. It took my husband several years of asking me why I

give her so much detail and getting stung from it before I realized it was not

advantageous for me or my health.

Kelley

To: WTOAdultChildren1@...: aimeefowler@...: Sun,

23 Dec 2007 03:53:54 +0000Subject: Any thoughts on dealing

with BPD Mother for a week during the holidays?

Hello. I am new to this group and have just recently discovered my Mother's BPD.

I've always known that she needed therapy and that her mood swings were extreme,

but a friend suggested that I read " I Hate You, Don't Leave Me " and it describes

my mother to a tee. It is her life story. Anyway, she will be coming to visit my

family next week. Christmas has always been sketchy at best with her. I am

afriad that during one of her episodes, I will lose it and tell her that she has

BPD and that she needs to get help. I have had many conversations with her about

the need for therapy, but it always comes back to " hormones " , having a " frumpy

day " or not having a " man " to solve her issues. Now that I have children of my

own, my patience with her has become strained. I anticipate having two good days

with her while she is here. The other five out of seven days will be tenuous at

best. Does anyone have any advice re boundaries that I should set upon her

arrival to make the visit the least " drama " filled that it can be?

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[Guest guest]

Awesome, Angel! Way to " work the problem " and come up with clever

solutions that take care of YOU!

-Kyla